Chapter 35
Translator - Zofu
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* * *
I'm a crazy bitch.
Whether I look at it subjectively or objectively... I'm a crazy bitch.
My mind feels like it's about to snap. No matter how much I tell myself I shouldn't look, no matter how much I scold myself over and over...
I can't stop watching.
"Hah... hah..."
Seriously, I feel like I'm going to lose it.
Out of habit, my fingers reach between my legs.
"Huuuh, hah... hah..."
My lower body twitches in response. A moan slips from my lips.
I watch and watch and watch.
I just... can't take my eyes off the telescope.
Today's the deadline. Tomorrow... no matter what happens, I won't look.
...Absolutely!
* * *
"Fuck..."
I watch and watch.
Before I know it, it's the weekend. Saturday. And right now, I'm...
Watching cheating sex.
This is driving me insane. I can't stop watching. Not for a moment.
I can't stop watching that dick sliding in and out... In this fucked-up situation, even though I rationalize it endlessly as "this is for my boyfriend," as just "studying," I don't stop.
...I don't even get used to it. I just get more aroused.
Getting aroused by a man who isn't my boyfriend.
This fact eats away at my heart. At the same time, it wounds my pride. All my sex until now has been "mental."
I could be satisfied with just my mind, not my body.
A mental climax.
That was everything I thought sex was. That belief never changed once since I met my boyfriend...
But now, that "everything" is trying to change.
Even though I'm satisfied with my mind, not my body... I feel denied. And there's also the matter of preference.
I'm attracted to weak men... not strong men.
But my lower body feels completely different.
Mentally, I'm drawn to "weak men" I want to protect.
But physically, I'm drawn to "strong men" I want to be protected by.
I feel like my body is split in two.
I've been feeling that feeling all day today.
"Hah... hah... fuck..."
One final thought that won't leave my head.
Curiosity.
If I got fucked by that huge cock... would I...
Make that kind of face?
"Huuuh..."
Would I look that happy?
Even though it's just physical?
"Hah... hah..."
Before I know it, their sex is coming to an end.
["Puppy. Huuuh, hah... I'm satisfied."]
Kim Tae-ho nods weakly.
["Rest tomorrow."]
["Yes?"]
Kim Tae-ho's expression brightens noticeably.
My expression also brightens noticeably.
So tomorrow... is a rest day!
["Ah, let's take one last photo and end it."]
For a moment, I can break this hellish cycle of pleasure. My heart pounds with joy at that fact. But for some reason...
I feel a slight sense of disappointment.
"Hah... hah..."
My hand moves instinctively. Fumbling, I take out the 'camera' from my bag. Mount it on the tripod.
This... can't be helped... since I won't do it tomorrow. Since I won't watch anymore. Just one last time...
Click.
I take a photo. And at the same time, over there too—
Click.
They take a photo.
I look at the camera screen.
Han Ye-rin in a rag of a dress, biting a condom filled with semen.
Making a V-sign above her forehead.
Kneeling in front of Kim Tae-ho's dick, smiling with a flushed red face.
The setting sun, the sunset caught in the clouds.
Now... let's go back.
* * *
Sunday.
The streets are packed with bustling people.
To cool my rising excitement, I go outside.
Wavy blue hair. Eyes focus on me.
Even though I went outside, my mood doesn't clear. As I walk, my stomach growls.
"Hah..."
Let's eat something. I see a snack shop in the distance.
When I open the door and go in.
"Huh...?"
Han Seol-ah is there.
And she's wearing an apron.
Huh?
"Seol-ah...?"
Han Seol-ah meets my eyes. Why... are you here? Seol-ah averts her eyes in embarrassment.
"U-uh, Ah-rin...?"
"Y-you work... part-time here?"
Seol-ah nods.
Her cheeks are slightly red. Should I just leave? No... it's fine. I'll just eat here. I sit in a corner seat.
I roughly scan the menu.
Let's go with cheese tteokbokki. I check it on the menu and put it back. I return to my seat.
The TV mounted on the wall chatters away. I look up at the TV.
Famous MCs and celebrities are using superpowers, playing table tennis.
Since then, 'sports' using superpowers have become trendy in the entertainment and broadcasting world. They say trends come and go, and I think it was like this about five years ago too. But these days it's gotten extreme.
Especially table tennis.
It's become a meme online to the point where if you say table tennis, it means the table tennis that I did with Kim Tae-ho. Interest in Seol-ah has also... skyrocketed.
Expressionlessly, mercilessly scoring points. Like a referee machine.
Yet not caring if the table breaks or the ground caves in. With calm composure.
She instantly gained popularity.
Originally, with that unique magic of hers, almost every Korean knew her. But that table tennis instantly imprinted the image of a 'referee.'
I watch the variety show on TV.
That outfit... is exactly the same as what Seol-ah wore back then.
"Now then... want to change the channel...?"
While stirring the tteokbokki, the referee picks up the remote and changes the channel.
She seems a bit rushed. Flipping through several variety shows, the news comes on.
"Phew..."
Seol-ah sighs with a flushed face. Wiping her forehead, she slips away from the seat as if embarrassed.
On the news... the Academy is coming on.
It's been a while. The Academy being on the news. Well, it'll probably be nothing much. All they've talked about so far is just 'Academy uselessness' or useless talk about restructuring the high-ranking Academy.
My gaze naturally fixes on the TV. It says two male students from the Academy have gone missing.
...Missing?
"Huh?"
My eyes widen wide. What, huh? Missing?
What?
The son of a major corporation disappeared in Korea. A case worthy of front-page news, and yet...
It moves straight to the next news.
Just a brief mention. And they just move on. No, why? Even that seems difficult for them to say...
I take out my phone.
All that comes up is just one news article. Just empty stories about searching for the missing person. There aren't even any comments.
Who... exactly?
If someone was kidnapped... would the media be controlled to this extreme?
Ah.
The tteokbokki is here.
First... let's eat.
* * *
Sunday.
Two male students have gone missing.
Rough rain pours from the sky.
Fuck... I ended up doing it after all.
My hand holding the umbrella trembles in fear. By now, they're probably tied up in a drum somewhere, watching fish at the bottom of the East Sea, or buried in the ground.
I'm on my way to the snack shop right now.
She said her part-time job ends around this time.
Thinking about it, when I first went to hang out, I said I'd buy her a handkerchief, but I completely forgot while having fun.
"You're heree...?"
When I open the creaking door, Han Seol-ah in an apron greets me. It seems there's still a little time left. I put my umbrella in the umbrella stand beside the door.
"Huh? Is it raining outside...?"
I nod. It wasn't raining until lunch, but suddenly it started pouring when night came.
"It started suddenly?"
"Mmm... I see... First, sit down... and rest...?"
I roughly nod and sit down. As I rest, my gaze fixes on the TV mounted on the wall.
The content is roughly... about the 'sewer monsters' that are getting worse these days.
Did they start a farm down there or something?
At night, you can hear the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, and you can't sleep because of the monsters' sex sounds. The news anchor says a purge plan has been set up.
The world has really changed.
When the first gate opened, humans rushed in like crazy, monsters dominated the surface, and humans hid in sewers. Now it's the opposite.
The news changes topics. The content... is about the Academy.
As always, the same topic—talk about restructuring.
The anchor laments the reality that the Academy has virtually lost its function of creating 'Knights' who rip apart and kill monsters, and has become a place for social gatherings among high-ranking officials.
"It's over now..."
I turn my gaze away from the TV. Han Seol-ah in casual clothes waves her hand. I get up from my seat.
When we go outside, the drizzling rain obscures my vision. The city lights reflect off the road. As I open my umbrella, Han Seol-ah grabs my collar.
"Uhh... Tae-ho yaa..."
"Huh?"
I turn my body, and Han Seol-ah looks up at me. She makes a slightly troubled expression.
"I... don't have an umbrella..."
I meet Han Seol-ah's eyes. Huh? No umbrella? Then just use magic... no.
"Then let's share."
"I-is that okay...?"
Han Seol-ah blushes slightly, her face turning red. She fidgets with her fingers. I nod.
No, well, we're friends... this should be fine, right? I'll have to report this to my girlfriend later.
Han Seol-ah comes next to me.
Now I just need to go buy a handkerchief. The rain falling gets stronger and stronger. Water splashes and my clothes get wet. Looking at Han Seol-ah, her face is still bright red.
Is she... scared of monsters?
She has military-level magic, but when she actually meets a monster, she's this scared? I slowly move away from her side. When I reach out my hand to ask if she's okay—
"Uhh..."
She instantly raises her hand and covers her face. She's slightly crouching.
Why... is she like this?
Han Seol-ah avoids my gaze. Then.
"Th-th-that... I'm going to go now..."
Wrapped in light.
She disappears before my eyes.
"Huh?"
Only the sound of the drizzling rain remains.
Amplifying my confusion.
Seol-ah... were you...
a coward?
* * *
Fuck.
So this is how it ends up.
The sun setting in the late afternoon. Right now, I'm...
Watching 'cheating sex' again.
I feel like I'm really going to go crazy. Taking that photo was the problem. Whenever I look at that photo, that scene keeps coming back to me. My lower body heats up. It's stupid. I even...
ended up masturbating.
I masturbated while watching my friend!
I focus my gaze on the telescope.
Right now, Kim Tae-ho is having his dick sucked by Han Ye-rin. Kim Tae-ho is looking down at Ye-rin, who sucks his dick without even breathing. Seeing that sight, I...
direct my fingers to my pussy.
Drip drip. Love juice flows. My fingers don't stop.
"Hah... hah..."
If I get fucked by that dick...
Would I too...
Fuck.
I shake my head side to side. For me, there's only... my boyfriend.
"Hah... huuuh..."
No. It's just...
just for today. Only until today.
Just... only today.
* * *
A week has passed.
There was no such thing as 'only today.'
I just... kept 'masturbating.'
It doesn't end at all. I can't focus on classes at all. My head keeps getting filled with that 'dick'. How it would feel to get fucked by it. I keep thinking about it.
Right now, I'm... at a 'cliff.'
For a week. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend. I haven't even been able to date properly. Anyway, I haven't been able to do anything properly.
My legs tremble, my heart pounds, my forehead is covered in cold sweat, my teeth chatter, my lower body is hot, and my head is filled with complicated thoughts.
I'm desperate.
Desperate like crazy.
"Hah... hah..."
Just.
Should I get fucked?
A dangerous thought crosses my mind.
My head feels dizzy. I can't think properly. And yet. My head automatically makes up reasons.
It's just getting fucked once.
And then... getting 'disappointed'!
Ah! See, the mental climax was better than the physical one! I can...
get 'disappointed' and be done with it.
My heart pounds with desperation. Right, yes. That was the way.
Just.
Once.
I just need to get fucked.
Then all my problems will be solved.
Soon, it'll be lunchtime.
The bell rings.
Since I've set my goal, it's time to move.
Immediately.
I get up from my seat.
Kim Tae-ho is visible in the hallway. I immediately grab his wrist.
"Huh?"
I drag Kim Tae-ho into the bathroom.
Eyes fix on us from around us. I don't have the time to care about such gazes right now. I open a stall in the women's bathroom and stand in front of Kim Tae-ho.
"U-uh, Ah-rin?"
Kim Tae-ho looks down at me with flustered eyes. I take out my phone from my pocket. The familiar photo on the phone.
"...Huh?"
Han Ye-rin in a rag of a dress, biting a condom filled with semen.
Making a V-sign above her forehead.
Kneeling in front of Kim Tae-ho's dick, smiling with a flushed red face—
the photo.
With a flushed red face, I look at Kim Tae-ho.
"Hah... haah... Kim Tae-ho, have sex with me right now. If you don't..."
I'll spread this photo.
* * *