A Kiss Without Meaning
They were all staring at me with those shifty eyes, clearly convinced I’d done something wrong.
These bastards.
I swung the rabbit I’d been holding while watching the spectacle and smacked them right across the face with it.
“How dare you! Is that any way to look at the person who saved your lives?”
“Agh!”
“Ow! You hit people with that because you’ve got nothing else? You’re not hurt anymore, are you?”
“I am hurt! I’m still recovering!”
The rabbit had already been dead before I used it as a weapon. I tossed the carcass at Gail and gave him an order.
“Turn it into jerky. I’ll eat it once my insides feel better.”
Rai’s voice slipped into my mind, dripping with mock solemnity. Poor rabbit. Poor Ash… The kindhearted Ash was devoured the moment Lox stepped away.
Stop with the weird narration, you metal spirit.
Master just gulped it down.
Shut up! I only kissed the guy who likes me a few times… or maybe more than a few. If anything, I was bestowing a favor—like a proper saint of this era.
You only call yourself a saint when it’s convenient.
One of my core principles: swallow what’s sweet, spit out what’s bitter.
Ash definitely fell into the sweet category. The Second Prince’s first kiss had been surprisingly delicious.
I wouldn’t mind doing it again, though I had no intention of taking responsibility.
Hey, Rai? Why doesn’t he look happier? I kissed him. Shouldn’t he be the happiest person alive?
Well… I’m not human, so I can’t say for sure, but Ash seems like the ascetic type, doesn’t he? A righteous perfectionist who lives by the rules—basically the opposite of you, Master.
Are you insulting me again?
Yet he couldn’t resist a moment of greed and broke his own code. Maybe he’s tormented because he gave in to your temptation?
…He lives such a difficult life.
Good things are good. I’d enjoyed the kiss, so that should’ve been enough.
Tsk. Master, you’re so heartless. That’s not what Ash wants at all.
Then what does he want?
For you to love him, obviously!
…Rai, do you know more about romance than I do?
Yes. You’re more ignorant about love than a spirit. Realized it yet?
The shock hit hard. My romantic instincts were worse than a metal spirit’s.
And you do know I’m sexless, right?
…I was trying to ignore that. Fine! My love life is a disaster! Worse than a sexless spirit’s!
Don’t be sad. Not being able to date doesn’t actually hinder your life, does it? Though that’s just what people with zero romantic prospects tell themselves… Still, your aggression stat is maxed out, so—kyaa!
I was going to kill this thing.
***
I woke naturally at dawn, rising pleasantly from my six-layer sleeping bag.
Rubbing my eyes, I looked around and spotted three men groaning in their sleep on the straw. They were curled up pitifully, like stray dogs with no owner.
I remembered last night—Enk and Gail had stared at me with such pathetic eyes, too afraid to ask for their sleeping bags back, so I’d simply gone to bed first.
What was mine was mine, and what was theirs was also mine. That was common sense in this territory.
It was a little sad they had to sleep on the bare ground, but nothing could be more pitiful than me, an internal-injury patient.
I slipped between the twitching men—who looked like they were having nightmares—and stepped outside.
The world was still a dark violet.
“Haaam.”
As I stretched in the chilly air, Rai suddenly plastered himself against my side.
Good morning, Master!
“I slept really well for once.”
Those guys were moaning all night. Didn’t it bother you? I couldn’t stand it.
“I slept like a log.”
Sleep quality really was important.
My body felt far more refreshed than yesterday after sleeping so soundly. I loosened up, scanning for a good spot. When training at dawn, I usually looked for somewhere deserted, but this place was quiet no matter where you went, which I liked.
After wandering a bit, I headed toward the wall where Ash had sat in a daze yesterday. It was close to the house and reasonably secluded—perfect for mana training.
“Huh. I get why Ash sat here.”
The corner felt especially good for concentration. I leaned against the wall, closed my eyes, and rolled my neck a few times.
I drew in the deepest breath possible, feeling the air brush against my skin.
Mana was like air—unseen, yet undeniably present.
Whether a person could sense and control it determined their limits.
The basics of mana training involved drawing in natural mana that wasn’t yours, circulating it inside your body until it became your own.
But with internal injuries, most of the mana you pulled in would leak out before you could circulate it properly.
The training I was doing now wasn’t about gathering mana so much as untangling the blocked flows inside me.
Forcing it would only backfire, but I was no longer the ignorant ten-year-old I used to be.
I’d learned how to heal myself.
Of course, I’d only figured it out because I kept injuring myself through reckless training, so the method still had its crude aspects.
Still, there was no such thing as safe training.
Dreaming of reaching greater heights while playing it safe made no sense. I believed that taking risks was itself a form of training.
Most humans braved danger and went on adventures precisely to temper themselves.
Without risk, there was no progress. Without adventure, there was no growth.
Still, don’t use Endairon like that. It’s reckless.
…Stop eavesdropping!
Master, your problem is having too much power left over.
I moved just enough mana to check my condition. As it circulated lightly through my body, I identified where it was leaking or blocked and focused on healing those spots.
Rai had broken my concentration, but fortunately my body wasn’t in as bad a shape as I’d feared. I’d been mindful of my injuries when using my power, so I’d avoided the worst.
If I recovered steadily like this, I should be able to summon Undine by the day after tomorrow.
I could summon her now, technically.
But doing so would worsen the internal damage, turning a two-day rest into three.
Satisfied with my relatively decent condition despite the recklessness, I stood up.
I was a little sweaty and my stomach ached faintly, but it was better than yesterday. I massaged my still-throbbing joints and tilted my head.
“Ash, why are you hiding?”
Ash stepped out from behind a scrawny tree. His broad shoulders stuck out—had he really thought he wouldn’t be noticed?
“I didn’t want to disturb your training.”
“You could’ve kept sleeping.”
“……I wanted to watch over you.”
Honestly, with behavior like this, how could I ever hate Ash?
It would be nice if his personality swapped with Rai’s, though that would probably doom the empire’s future.
“Thanks. You’re the only one who thinks about me like this.”
Among humans, right? Because among spirits, there’s me.
Delusion was a free country.
I pushed Rai’s head away as he tried to butt in, and Ash took a step closer.
“Jeanie, there’s something I want to ask.”
“It’s about yesterday, isn’t it?”
That grave expression said it all. We’d kissed yesterday, and unlike me, Ash had been lost in thought ever since.
“I thought about it a lot…… Yesterday…… it didn’t mean anything to you, did it?”
“Meaning? What kind of meaning?”
A kiss was a kiss.
“……I figured you’d react like that. It meant a lot to me. But to you…… it was just for fun.”
“Kissing feels pretty good. Is that not enough of an answer?”
“……That’s not what I meant……”
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”
That should settle it, right?
When I smiled openly, showing exactly what I was thinking, Ash covered his face with his large hands and looked genuinely tormented.
Why was he acting like that……?
The innocent Ash had no idea! That Master was a hedonist!
I told you to stop.
She’s also an extreme opportunist!
If I weren’t in the middle of talking to Ash, I would’ve grabbed Rai and hung him from a tree.
Rai had already retreated far away before I could yank his whiskers. He was getting better and better at teasing me.
Ah, cruel fate!
I really wanted to kill him……
I ground my teeth, then extended a comforting hand because Ash looked too hurt.
It was a classic case of causing pain then offering medicine, but I hadn’t expected him to be this wounded just from the kiss yesterday.
Such a delicate guy.
What was so complicated and difficult about kissing someone you liked?
“Ash, look at me.”
“……There’s no need to comfort me. I was the one who kissed you, even if it was that kind of kiss.”
“No, no. I’ll apologize for treating it so lightly. Sorry for being so thoughtless, like a big sister. But at the time, I really did want to kiss you.”
“Really……?”
I’d slipped in “big sister” on purpose, but Ash was too distracted to notice.
“Yeah. I wanted to kiss you and figure out whether I see you as a man or not.”
“Th-then what’s your conclusion?”
“Hmm. One time isn’t enough to tell. I think I need to try a few more times.”
Master was a total pervert!
“Hold on. I’m going to catch that thing and come back.”
First, I had to grab him.
If not for my injuries, I would’ve summoned Endairon just to tear him apart.
“Hey! Stop right there!”
She has no sense of mood!
How could a spirit be that fast!
I needed to turn him into a turtle or something. A worm? A starfish……?
I’m sorryyy. I love you, Master.
Rai returned in front of me just as quickly as he’d fled.
I grabbed him by the hair and dragged him behind the wall. When I came back out, I was holding a pretty pot that hadn’t been there before.
“Where’s Rai?”
“Who knows? He must’ve run off. Let’s cook breakfast here today.”
“……Did we have a pot like that?”
“Yeah. I found it.”
Ash accepted the pot I handed him with a wary look.
What else? It was Rai.
The spirit was such a hedonist that he couldn’t resist the fun of teasing me and kept making the same mistake. When that happened, turning him into a legless inanimate object was the best punishment.
Being a pot for half a day would be a valuable experience.
You’re the first master I’ve met who can invent new torture methods on the spot……
I only half-listened, then realized something late. It had been a while since Rai mentioned his previous master.