The Saint's Morning Prank
I decided to check out the new room before eating breakfast. The Saint kept glancing at me, carefully gauging my reaction as she led the way with hesitant steps.
“...Um, I haven’t cleaned it in a really long time, so it’s going to be incredibly dirty.”
“That’s fine. I can just clean it.”
“The furniture’s all old too, so everything’s probably broken….”
“I have things I used to use, so it doesn’t matter.”
The Saint still looked hesitant as she continued. “...There might be some really big bugs, too.”
“Among the gods, the God of Death is probably the best at pest extermination.”
At my answer, the Saint let out a faint laugh. I heard her murmur softly, “He even jokes.”
...I wasn’t joking, though. One of a reaper’s duties is helping maintain the gods’ gardens. And those gardens are full of pests that grow fat on divine power. When there are bugs bigger than my head crawling around up there, the insects of the human world seem downright cute by comparison.
With that thought in mind, I followed behind the Saint. A short while later, she stopped in front of a worn-out door. She placed her small hand on the doorknob, then immediately started grunting as she looked up at me.
“...No, never mind. I’ll clean it myself, so you can stay in my room until then!”
“I told you it’s fine.”
“B-but… Or I could stay in this room instead!”
“Why is the owner of the room trying to get kicked out to another one?”
The Saint fidgeted and let out a distressed whine. It didn’t look like she had any intention of turning the knob, so I quietly reached out my hand.
“Eek—!”
“At this rate, the sun will rise before we even get inside, Saint.”
“Ugh, this place really hasn’t been maintained in forever. It’s not somewhere you should have to stay, Death…!”
“It’s okay. I’ve camped out plenty of times before. No matter what, having a roof over your head is still better than sleeping outside.”
I grabbed the doorknob and slowly turned it. The moment the door opened, a thick cloud of dust burst out so densely that I couldn’t see a thing. The air instantly grew acrid, and I started coughing without meaning to.
“Cough! Ugh…”
“Death, are you alri—! Achoo!”
Once the dust finally settled a little, what appeared before us was a room so horrifying it would make the haunted houses in horror games look like child’s play. Carcasses of bugs and rats scattered everywhere. Dust piled so thick that you couldn’t even make out the shape of the furniture. Wallpaper peeling in strips with mold claiming every exposed spot, and massive spiderwebs tangled chaotically across the ceiling.
“What in the world…”
I hesitated for a moment before taking a single step inside. When I brushed the dust aside with my foot, an unidentifiable stain hardened into the floor was revealed. After taking in the whole scene, only one thought crossed my mind.
‘...Should I just camp outside?’
Lying down on the dirt floor right behind me seemed far more comfortable than this. Whether it was because of the thick dust or the sheer dread of having to clean it, my breath felt completely stuck in my throat. A small, hollow laugh escaped me, and at that moment, the Saint’s trembling voice came from behind.
“...Hey, why don’t we just split my room in half and live together?”
“What kind of nonsense is that?”
“O-or I could stretch out straight like a caterpillar and stick myself in the corner of the room so you can have the rest of the space!”
“That’s exactly why I’m asking why the room’s owner is giving up her own rights.”
I sighed and looked down at the Saint, whose head had drooped in defeat. Living outside would clearly be much more comfortable, but I knew she would absolutely refuse if I suggested it.
‘...In the end, I guess I have no choice but to clean it.’
If I worked on it all day, I could probably manage somehow. “I’ll stay here.”
“What? Really? Here?”
When I spoke calmly, the Saint’s eyes widened as she stared at me. I smiled and nodded.
“It’s actually quite spacious once you look at it. If I really focus, I think I can clean it all in a day or two.”
“E-even so… No matter how you look at it, this place is…”
The Saint pressed her lips tightly together and scanned the room once more. Then she shook her head vigorously and muttered in a distressed voice, “Then I’ll clean it little by little, so in the meantime, you can stay in my room with…”
“No. That would be even more troub—! …I mean, I’m actually pretty confident when it comes to organizing.”
Though the kind of organizing I’m thinking of isn’t exactly what she has in mind. I murmured to myself internally and smiled at the Saint.
“Ugh, but still…”
“Come on, now that I’ve decided to stay here, let’s go eat breakfast. Aren’t you hungry?”
“Being hungry isn’t the problem here…”
“Let’s go quickly. You said we have to go take care of the people lying down after we eat, right?”
I practically dragged the reluctant Saint out of the room. When we finally arrived at the kitchen after much struggle, I realized one thing.
It wasn’t just that room that needed cleaning.
‘...Right. This place was a mess too.’
The room’s condition had been so appalling that I had completely forgotten about the kitchen. Seeing it now, I’d even thought, ‘This seems somewhat bearable compared to that,’ but no. That wasn’t the case at all.
I hurriedly grabbed the Saint as she tried to enter the kitchen.
“Huh? What’s wrong?”
“...Should we eat outside again today?”
“U-um? I don’t really mind, but…”
In the end, we set up the table in the hallway once again. While I took out the items I’d brought out last time from my subspace one by one, the Saint watched me with sparkling eyes.
“Wow, it was amazing last time too, but seeing it in the daylight makes it even more fascinating.”
“Does it?”
“Yeah. Things just pop out of nowhere. It really looks like magic.”
Her voice was filled with the pure wonder of a child. I smiled faintly and spread out the tablecloth.
“I don’t know how to use magic. You’re the one who uses magic, Saint, not me.”
“Mmm. Then what is this? How does it work?”
The Saint came closer and cautiously poked at the subspace with her finger. It bounced her touch away as if rejecting her. I couldn’t help but burst into soft laughter at the way her eyes widened in surprise.
“...Huh? M-my finger just got pushed back.”
“That’s how it is. Only I can use it. Besides, living beings recorded as mortal can’t even enter…”
Wait. Isn’t this confidential too?
I quickly covered my mouth, cold sweat breaking out all over me. The Saint stared at me intently. Her clear golden eyes, which had been examining me, slowly filled with curiosity. The more her eyes sparkled, the more flustered I became, completely at a loss. Eventually, I couldn’t meet her gaze any longer and covered my face with my hands.
“...Um, this is getting difficult for me, so could you please just let it go?”
“Huh? Why? What’s so difficult about it?”
I heard her take another step closer. I could feel her sticking right up against my side. Her breath brushed against my ear.
“Why~?”
“...Please, just let it go.”
“Ahaha!”
The clear, pure laughter that filled the hallway made me freeze for a moment. I lowered my hands in confusion and looked at the Saint. She was covering her mouth with her fingertips, smiling. Somehow, she looked both mischievous and relaxed.
“It was a joke. If it’s difficult for you, Death, you don’t have to tell me.”
“...A joke?”
“Mhm. You looked so flustered that you even covered your face, so I couldn’t help myself. Sorry.”
The Saint smiled with her eyes and tilted her head slightly. For some reason, that sight made something surge inside me. As if she knew what I was feeling, she lowered her head a little more to study my expression.
“Still…”
She paused for a moment, carefully observing my face before taking a step back. Then she let out a bright giggle.
“The way you get flustered is incredibly cute, Death.”
“...Cute? I may not look it, but I am a god, you know.”
“Hehe, but you were still cute.”
The Saint tilted her head and looked at me. Her expression seemed both teasing and sincere, leaving me momentarily speechless. Feeling like I couldn’t control my face, I turned my back to her and rummaged through my subspace.
“You’re not getting breakfast, Saint.”
“Aww, I’m sorry. I was wrong~”
From behind me came the sound of her pretending to cry. Along with little whines, the Saint tugged at the hem of my clothes, trying to coax me.
“Death… Are you mad? Hm?”
“Who knows.”
“I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to tease you… Wait, I did mean to tease you, but—”
“Ah, I see. So you were teasing me.”
“Auuu…”
With a pitiful look on her face, the Saint gripped my clothes even tighter. I glanced at her once before turning my attention back to the subspace.
‘She must have gone hungry the whole time I was asleep, so I need to hurry and prepare something.’
I couldn’t just feed her instant food again, so I had planned to give her something special today. I was sure I had the bread Lady Hestia gave me, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Well, that wasn’t surprising. I’d just been piling things up without organizing because it was annoying, so it basically looked like a trash dump in there.
‘...I need to clean this place too.’
It feels like ever since I came to this world, the list of things I need to clean just keeps growing. I let out a mental sigh and began carefully excavating through the piled-up items.
“I was wrong…”
“……”
“Ugh… I said I was wrong.”
“……”
“You can be mad, but please don’t ignore me. …Okay?”
The moment I finally found the bread, I heard sobbing from behind me. Wondering what was going on, I poked my head out of the subspace and looked back. When our eyes met, the Saint immediately sniffled and murmured softly.
“I’m really sorry. I won’t tease you again. So please don’t ignore me…”
“...Pardon?”
For a second I was stunned, unsure what she was talking about. Since I had no idea what she meant, I kept my mouth shut, which only made her more anxious as she clung to me even harder. Still dazed, I asked carefully.
“Did I ignore you?”
“Yes. You didn’t answer me at all. Both earlier and just now…”
When I thought about it, I realized I had been completely focused on the inside of my subspace the whole time. …At some point, I hadn’t heard the Saint’s voice at all. I let out a small sigh and looked at her.
“...I’m sorry. When I concentrate on something, I tend to block out everything else. I was so focused on finding the bread that I didn’t hear you at all.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
The Saint’s tearful expression gradually softened. Even so, she still looked anxious as she studied me and asked cautiously, “Then… you’re not mad?”
“No, I’m not. It wasn’t something to get mad about in the first place.”
The Saint let out a sigh of relief and nodded. Even then, she didn’t let go of the hand that was still tightly gripping me. I spoke up, feeling a bit awkward.
“Saint, if you keep holding on like this, I won’t be able to prepare anything. Aren’t you hungry?”
“...Can I stay like this just a little longer?”
“Sure, sure.”
Since it was my fault, I supposed I should let her stay like this until she felt better. I let out a small sigh and gently stroked her hair with one hand.