Others' Gazes (13)
“Haa...”
Lee Hyun exhaled into the outside air. It was already April, and the cold had long retreated, so no matter how hard she blew, no visible breath appeared. She'd stormed out in a fit of anger just moments ago, but deep down, she was starting to regret it.
I acted too impulsively. Even the restaurant owner looked flustered at the end. And...
She recalled Seonghwan's expression as she left. It wasn't just surprise—it was worry, and even more than that, pity. His face, laced with those complex emotions, had thrown her off balance instead. At first, she'd bolted to hide the boiling feelings inside, but seeing his face had clogged her words, making her flee even faster. On top of that, she felt sorry for Jia and Seonghwan, who now had to smooth over the awkward atmosphere she'd soured.
All those emotions crashed over her afterward, keeping her from straying too far.
Should I go back now? I could say I stepped out for some air to clear my head from the drinks—maybe that'll fly as an excuse.
If she didn't, Seonghwan—who'd gotten her into the club room in the first place—would be in a tough spot.
And here I am worrying about him in the middle of this...
It was absurd. She was the one hurt, unable to show it, yet fretting over someone else.
Min Yu-ri... I wonder what she's like?
She'd heard the name before. Jia, the social butterfly, had come back from somewhere bragging that she was Korea University's top beauty from the previous class. Hyun had let it slide in one ear and out the other back then, but for some reason, it stuck instantly.
Yu-mi and Yu-ri... Should I change my name to something like Yu-hyun?
It was an embarrassing fantasy she couldn't share with anyone, but it was the only way to soothe her wounded heart.
Still, daydreams could only kill so much time.
I'll go back in as naturally as possible, like nothing happened. I wasn't even that drunk anyway. If I show up looking fine and say the fresh air cleared me up, everyone will get it. Just like that day. Like the last day of high school.
After middle school, she'd spent years distant from Seonghwan. But once her college entrance scores came out—and right after the nail-biting Korea University admissions results—she'd rushed to him. How should she start? What greeting? What would bring them back to how things were? She'd agonized all night, but it all felt pointless when Seonghwan spotted her and grinned brightly.
“You little punk, you got into Korea University? Came to brag? I've been in since way back—guess you're here to rub it in again. Pfft.”
His casual smirk and shrug made her forget every rehearsed line. It had been years, but she'd trailed him from afar like a shadow, so he wasn't unfamiliar. Yet this brother she'd barely spoken to for so long was unchanged, and that familiarity felt strangely alien. No—really, it was her own awkwardness that felt foreign, a realization that hit late.
So she hid her true feelings.
Smack.
“Gah! Ugh, what the—?!”
“Bragging my ass. I came to tease you. Korea U's no big deal. You nagged me to study back in middle school, so I cracked the books a bit and boom—got in first try. But you had to take a year off? Hilarious, so I ran over to laugh in your face.”
“What? You? You just called yourself that? Lost your manners after all this time? Forgot polite speech studying Korean?”
“You're such a show-off. Bet my Korean score's higher than yours.”
“Still calling yourself that? I'm your senior. Can you handle the fallout? I'm way ahead at your school—want me to get you ostracized?”
“As if. Feels good lording your one-year edge like you're ancient?”
“Argh, this brat's lost it.”
Smack.
“Aaaah! This girl and my knee again. Damn it.”
Brother and sister. They'd bridged years of distance in one go, settling into that dynamic. Anyone could see they were siblings now. Seonghwan felt the same.
“Ow, thought you just studied—did you learn taekwondo or something? Why's your kick so vicious? Ah... seriously, watching you makes me wanna sell you off used. Here, your acceptance gift.”
In his hand was a tablet PC. Stunned by the sudden present, Hyun just stared blankly.
“College kids all tote laptops or tablets these days. I scraped together a used laptop myself, but I splurged on this—use it well.”
“.....Why this all of a sudden?”
She couldn't remember if her throat had closed up or gone dry. Just that she'd ducked her head, avoiding his eyes, too embarrassed to even say thanks.
“Why? Can't a brother get his sister a college gift? It's new, bought used unopened—checked it myself. Good as new.”
His way of downplaying it with the "used" bit was the same as ever. So she matched him.
“If you're buying, get new. Used in the mix? Lame.”
“What? I'm losing it. Buy a gift and get shit? It's unopened—like new. I checked plenty. New ones are pricey; this saved fifteen bucks.”
“Brag much.”
“You're hopeless. Gimme it back—gonna resell.”
“Taking back gifts is worse. Mine now. Steal it and you're a thief.”
“Thief calling me thief?”
A few bickering rounds, and the lost years were restored. The snapped film reel spliced back together. That's when Hyun realized.
“Knew you'd make it, punk. Yeon-unnie bragged about your grades nonstop. Waited for you. Got into Korea U first to pave the way—studied my ass off. Haha!”
Seonghwan had waited for her. She vowed never to let their time break again, to seize the initiative and not waste it.
So, time to head back. Lingering'll just make it more awkward...
Hyun steeled herself to stand.
“You really made a great friend.”
The sudden voice from behind startled her into whipping around. There stood Seonghwan, panting, soaked in sweat, staring at her.
“Damn, shit. Looked like a kicked puppy heading for Han River Bridge, but you're moping in this alley? I scoured the bus stop like an idiot—stuck in this dead-end? Argh, fuck.”
Hyun barely held back tears. The one she'd waited for so long had come searching first. She could only bow her head.
****
“Saying it again: Jia's your best friend for real.”
“Why Jia?”
“Why'd I be out here? Huh? You think I'm nuts, ditching work to hunt you down? If I could, I'd be the pork belly boss.”
“.....”
“You stormed out, Jia grabbed her bag and chased. Came back ages later saying you'd vanished. No calls. Argh, making everyone worry—you, our precious Hyun.”
“So?”
“So what? She begged me to look since she'd cover my shift. Dark out—scared something might happen.”
“Others were there. Hyoseok, club seniors...”
“Hyoseok's probably serving with her, looking miserable. Matches Jia perfect, if you ask me. And leave you to them? Nah, that's worse. Again: you scored a great friend. I got a great boss.”
“.......”
Jia couldn't have missed her. Hyun had slumped against the wall outside, hoping someone would follow and pull her back, head buried in her arms. After a while, hating the pity of passersby, she'd ducked into the alley to breathe.
So if Jia chased her, she must have seen.
Yeah, I got a real good friend.
“So, heading back in?”
Hyun asked Seonghwan, who was wiping sweat and catching his breath. The beads on his face spoke of his frantic search—like back at that Han River Park when they were kids.
“Catch our breath first. Timing's iffy, but Jia said take it slow. Thought you went far—told me search everywhere, she'd hold the fort till closing. No rush. Gotta pay her and Hyoseok anyway.”
“....Then what here?”
“What, stay in this sketchy spot? Let's hit that coffee shop. Craving some.”
Seonghwan pointed and walked ahead. Hyun gazed at his back, then hurried after.
****
“Here, hangover cure for you.”
“You get coffee, me this? Why?”
“Drink it. Gotta settle your stomach. Remember I carried you home once? Nah, you were wasted—wouldn't.”
“..Unnie told me all. And do I look drunk now?”
“Just drink. Quit worrying us.”
Warm latte. Seonghwan's go-to with coffee, and Hyun knew it. Classic him—once hooked, sticks to one thing. Whatever it is.
“Tastes the same.”
“What taste? Coffee? Not really a fave—just unified orders 'cause menus suck. Hate complicated shit, always have.”
“Not just coffee—everything.”
“Ouch, thorny words. What's your point?”
His sullen stare over the cup was hard to meet, so Hyun sipped too. Finally, she set down the bottle and voiced her burning question.
“Girlfriend? You were all puffed up bragging.”
“Deaf? It's a thing—we're flirting. I'll confess, sure.”
Hearing it straight twisted her gut. Anger surged; she snapped.
“Not the type to stick once hooked?”
“Speak plain? Coffee to girlfriend—can't follow.”
“Lee Yeon-unnie.”
He froze. The word Hyun hated uttering most—the magic spell halting Seonghwan. That's why she'd sworn it off.
“You liked my unnie, right?”
“.....Huh.”
He gawked, eyes flickering with faint surprise.
“What? Thought I didn't know?”
“No.”
He set down his cup, eyes serious—no play. Hyun's breath caught in tension.
“Surprised it came from you.”
“Why?”
“Dunno when... but you never mentioned her when alone. Avoided like the plague.”
“........”
Hyun stared back, shocked.
“What? Thought I didn't know?”
He tossed her words back playfully, but his face stayed straight. Speechless, she clamped her mouth.
“Amusement park, Han River, local arcade. You tailed your unnie everywhere, then suddenly stopped mentioning her. Face like she'd cursed you. Right?”
“.......”
“Figured puberty hit. Me too—grew up, lost urge to chat or hang with bro. Thought you just hit it early.”
Still no reply. Seonghwan rambled solo, but his words sank from ears to heart.
“But nah, me neither. Never mentioned bro in school or college, even same uni. Why?”
“....”
Her eyes shook, meeting his. He grinned mischievously now.
“Why hide? Don't pin it on Yeon-unnie. You hate that. I know you. And you knew—I'd sorted my feelings for her ages ago.”
Still scared, huh. Vowed to ask straight, but hid behind unnie excuse.
Hyun met his gaze squarely.
“Didn't see the end. Never confessed to unnie.”
“Confessing to sort my feelings? Cowardly. Could hurt her.”
“Hurt? You know?”
“Sigh... why's that matter?”
“So it doesn't? What if—not Minhwan-oppa, but you? If she likes you?! Then...!!”
“Stop! Enough. No hypotheticals—tone it down.”
“Oppa, don't you get it? Why I'm saying—”
“Drop Yeon-unnie. You're off today.”
“No....”
She'd started; time to tie the knot. Settle one by one—new ties or cuts. Unnie, Yu-ri, whatever. Even if nightmare awaited her.
But mid-shout, his eyes stopped her. Unwavering, almost firm. Despite her words that could rattle him, he stood solid.
She'd known his long crush on unnie—expected it to shake him. Wrong.
Why...?
Why...?
Seonghwan had sorted unnie out. Not just because of Minhwan.
‘Confessing to sort my feelings? Cowardly. Could hurt her.’
His words echoed.
‘Hurt? You know?’
Seemed cowardly, fearing rejection. Ignored her probes. Too resolute for preemptive negativity.
Nothing like the sunflower-chasing Seonghwan of old.
Harder to grasp: confessing not to unnie, yet sorted. Led to wild thought.
One unbelievable hypothesis from his reactions.
No way... scared unnie might accept a confession...?
Hyun jolted at the sudden idea. Shocked to her core.