Even Shin Would Say the Same
"Don't you think that's a bit much, even by your own standards?"
—Woof!
"Just thinking about it raises my blood pressure. 'Don't be curious about anything'? There's a reason the myth of Pandora's box exists. I'm human too, you know. That's just cruel."
I grumbled as I ran the brush through Happy's fur.
There was still plenty of time before the shoot, and with Jinbae having stepped away to give us privacy, it was easier to speak freely.
"I know An-gae did nothing wrong. He's probably listening to this right now, too. When I see him tonight, I won't be able to say a word about it, so he'll just sit there and whine. Sometimes he tries to write it all off as being cute, which makes him even more infuriating. He's adorable, but… you get what I'm trying to say, right?"
—Woof!
"Right. At least you understand. That helps."
Venting to Happy about An-gae turned out to be even more effective than I'd expected. I'd figured it would be like talking to a wall, but strangely enough, this guy really did seem to understand every word.
I should have started doing this ages ago.
Of course, I knew An-gae would be listening in on this conversation. The presence that had once warned me to be curious about nothing might well be watching now, too.
So what? What do you want me to do about it?
But I wasn't being curious right now. I was just gossiping.
More boldly than anyone.
At this point, shouldn't it count as fore-talk instead of back-talk?
Either way, the important thing was that I hadn't crossed the line they had demanded of me. I hadn't asked anyone to look into anything, and I hadn't searched for anything myself.
If they call me out over this, that would be genuinely petty.
Pursing my lips, I stroked Happy's head.
"Thank you for listening to me, Happy."
—Huff, huff.
My fingers slid past his damp nose and smoothed over the solid ridge of his forehead. He let out a low, contented rumble.
Meanwhile, I stole a glance at the clock on the wall.
Wow, an hour's already gone by.
No wonder my mouth tasted sweet. I'd done a lot of talking.
Once I'd started, all the words I'd kept bottled up came pouring out, and I simply couldn't stop.
And yet, after chatting away for a full hour, I wasn't tired at all. If anything, I felt refreshed—even though nothing had been resolved, and I still had no idea what to do.
I could feel an astonishing weight of anxiety settling inside me.
I'm no different from anyone else, am I.
It hit me, once again, that humans are social animals—fragile creatures that can only survive through constant contact with others. Was it strange that finding out I was merely human felt like a comfort?
—Woof!
"…Fine. I'll pet you again."
Honestly. Not even a moment to think deeply.
The instant my hand stopped moving, Happy had barked in protest. He rubbed his face against my hand, demanding I keep going, and I broke into a smile.
"Your fur's gotten so soft."
Guess all that brushing really did work. I'd only started doing it because talking at a dog standing stiffly at attention felt a little awkward, but compared to an hour ago, his coat was noticeably smoother.
Like golden silk.
With sunlight streaming in through the doorway, Happy—who was sprawled across my lap—seemed to glitter.
"Yeonjae! It's almost snack time for Happy—can I take him?"
Just then, the owner peeked out from the far end of the yard.
"Of course. Go on, Happy. Time for your snack."
—Woof!
Happy sprang to his feet and bolted toward the owner, running so fast that dirt went flying from the yard in every direction.
Not even a backward glance. That rascal.
"Did you have a good time, sir?"
Once the owner and Happy had disappeared, Jinbae came over.
"Yes. Thank you for stepping away. Happy and I really got to know each other because of it."
"I'm glad to hear it."
When I nodded, Jinbae smiled.
"If there's anything else you need, just say the word. Don't hold back."
His voice was as warm and gentle as ever. I looked into those mild eyes, and then abruptly asked,
"Hyung, has it ever been hard for you, working as my manager? Have you ever hated me, or resented me?"
"That's out of nowhere."
"It's just… I was reading the script, and I kept thinking of you."
Especially when I thought of Shin.
Like most pets, Shin had to spend his days alone in the house while Do Yoo-young was at school. A life of quietly waiting until his owner came home. Seeing him so blindly, unconditionally devoted—as if he existed solely for his owner's sake—I couldn't help thinking of Jinbae.
After all, here was someone who cherished me even more than he cherished himself.
How was that possible? A part of me genuinely wondered.
"Honestly, from Shin's perspective, swapping bodies with Do Yoo-young isn't such a bad situation, is it? His original body had clear limits."
"That's true."
"He can eat all kinds of food he never could as a dog, move freely without any restrictions…"
And above all, he no longer had to simply wait—waiting for a cold owner who might never come home.
Despite all the benefits that came to mind with even a moment's thought, Shin says to Do Yoo-young with a bright, open face:
Let's find a way to change back together.
"Honestly, if I were him, I think I'd have felt tempted. A little voice saying, why not just stay like this?"
But the script showed no trace of any such emotion. The fact that Shin never once considered stealing Do Yoo-young's body for himself struck me as utterly fascinating.
And at the same time, I thought of Jinbae again.
Had he truly never once wanted what I had?
It's not like hyung never tried acting.
That amateur film from his club days had been his first and last, but who knows what might have happened if he'd kept at it after that. I might have met him not as my manager, but as a fellow actor.
"If I were you, I think I'd feel wronged. The attention and awards I've earned from acting—I could only get them because you helped. And yet all the spotlight lands on me."
Needless to say, without Jinbae's help, I could never have loved acting this much or thrown myself into it like this.
He really is an incredible, remarkable person.
I worried that being hidden in the shadow of being "my manager" might wear on him. Anyone human would inevitably feel those things.
But the moment Jinbae heard my words, the corners of his mouth lifted.
"You really do… only ever think about other people. Why on earth are you worrying about that? Do you think I'd leave?"
"Losing you scares me too, but it's just… I kept thinking you might not be happy. I'm happy because you're here, so if you aren't, that's just so unfair."
"Haha!"
I didn't think I'd said anything that funny.
I shot a sideways glare at Jinbae, who was laughing with evident delight.
"I said that completely seriously."
"I'm sorry. You were just too cute."
"Just answer the question already."
"Don't worry. I swear, in all this time, I've never once felt a single complaint. Being a manager suits me perfectly—and more than anything, I genuinely love my actor."
"Really? It's never been hard, not even a little?"
At my question, Jinbae thought for a long moment before answering.
"That I can't solve everything for you. Every time I run up against that limit, it does torment me."
"Even that answer is so perfectly manager-like."
At that, Jinbae let out a soft burst of laughter. Then he replied in a voice full of mischief.
"Shin probably isn't all that different from me, you know."
"What do you mean?"
"If the way Shin feels about Do Yoo-young is anything like the way I feel about you—then all Shin wants is for Do Yoo-young to be happy and healthy. There's nothing else he'd wish for."
"…"
Jinbae said it lightly, but the words landed on me with crushing weight.
I held my breath for a moment.
How can a person be like this?
However little greed he had, you're supposed to come first for yourself, aren't you? Even if we felt like family and cherished each other, I was, in the end, just someone else to him.
I was hesitating over what to say when Jinbae asked,
"What do you think, sir?"
"Sorry?"
"Do you think someone like Do Yoo-young counts as happy?"
In the eyes looking at me, a calm laughter was rippling like waves. I gazed at that gentle swell for a moment.
"He wouldn't see himself that way, but objectively? Probably. It's a happy ending, so he should be even happier by the finale. And above all… Do Yoo-young has Shin."
"I see."
Jinbae nodded, then quickly added,
"Then you must count as happy too, sir. Because you have me."
I looked at him for a moment, then nodded.
"Yes. I am happy."
"That's a relief. That's all I need."
Jinbae laughed and said my words had made him happy in turn. Then he murmured, quietly,
"Shin will feel the same. If Do Yoo-young is happy, then Shin will surely be happy too."
"…You think so?"
"Yes. I do."
How strange.
Counting only the hours I'd poured into practicing to play Do Yoo-young and Shin perfectly, well over a month had passed. During that time, they'd sometimes felt like strangers, sometimes like close friends.
But they had never, not once, felt this tender.
I let out a slow, hollow laugh.
"Isn't your manager going a bit too far?"
"I'm sorry?"
Jinbae looked bewildered.
"It's my first shoot tomorrow. You're supposed to let me be nervous. What am I supposed to do if you go and melt me like this?"
I grumbled that if I slept in tomorrow because he'd relaxed me too much, he'd have to answer for it. It was an absurd bit of sulking, but Jinbae simply smiled and replied,
"That's all right. I'll just wake you up."
He really never misses a beat.
In a small act of rebellion, I knocked my forehead lightly against his shoulder. His low chuckle followed.
And so, warmer than anyone else could have made it, I greeted the first shoot of my second film.
"Yeonjae, you're ready, right?"
"Yes. I'm ready."
At my answer, the director smiled and said it was a pleasure to work with me.
"We'll shoot up to just before the cut where Shin throws himself at Do Yoo-young. Camera team, double-check your blocking~. Lighting team, same as in rehearsal, please."
"Got it!"
"All right then—let's begin the first shoot of Shin Yoo-young, next year's first ten-million-admission film!"
When the director boomed the words, the staff chuckled.
"We'll be rolling shortly!"
"Everyone, please switch your phones to silent!"
The bustle gradually died down, and before I knew it, silence had settled over the set. The staff, Jinbae, Happy—all of them were looking at me.
With every camera and every pair of eyes fixed on me, I quietly closed mine.
And I called Do Yoo-young to mind.
You, who never managed to root yourself anywhere and simply drifted. True to your own name—Yoo-young, swimming adrift—you must think of yourself right now as a loner bobbing aimlessly from place to place.
It wasn't exactly the right thing to say on the verge of making that feeling my own, but still…
You're going to be all right.
I know how your story ends. I know just how happy you're going to become.
"Camera, standby—"
So you don't have to be afraid and alone anymore. All the emotions that are coming for you…
"Action!"
I'll feel them right there with you.