Honest Intentions

I frowned, wondering why he was suddenly bringing this up again.

"You like honest people. That's why I'm telling you. I still want to benefit from your fame, sure — but lately I've also found myself wanting to watch you act up close."

"I see."

It was information I couldn't have cared less about.

I was nodding along without any feeling when I froze — because of what came next, spoken quietly.

"You're the kind of person who wonders what someone's intentions are the moment they get close to you."

"……"

"So am I. That's how I saw through you at a glance."

Seo Jio flashed a grin.

"The reason I was upfront about my intentions with you from the start is that you seemed like someone who values honesty."

"……That's right. I do like honest people."

"Yeah. But you turned me down anyway. I'm sorry I couldn't accept that and spent a whole week pestering you. I'm sorry I'm still being a nuisance like this, too. But I don't regret saying I wanted to use your fame. If I hadn't, we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now."

The voice that flowed out was steady. Firm.

When I quietly met his gaze, Seo Jio looked right back at me.

"Of course, I know it's ugly. Announcing to someone's face that you're going to use them — obviously that's ugly. I'm sorry for that too. But what can I do? I'm an ugly person."

It was fascinating.

Confidence and self-loathing seeped out of Seo Jio's tone all at once.

And underneath it, I could feel him flailing, struggling to survive by any means he could.

What could he possibly be so desperate about?

So I asked.

"Are you this honest with everyone?"

"Nope. Only with you."

Seo Jio smiled with his eyes.

"So even if I'm ugly, can't you look the other way? Can't you stay by my side?"

I stared at those eyes curving into thin crescents for a moment.

Then I opened my mouth, slowly.

"Yeah. No."

"……"

After a beat of stunned silence, the guy's face crumpled instantly into something close to tears.

"Why? Because you think I'm ugly?"

"I've never once thought you were ugly."

Though I'd never thought you were particularly pleasant, either.

When I shrugged, Seo Jio started whining, asking what the problem was then. The expression and voice were dripping with aegyo.

"Then why not?"

"I don't want to be used just because I'm famous."

"……Huh?"

"I didn't use to care. But now I hate it. It's not okay."

The well-crafted smile collapsed in an instant.

"……"

Seo Jio wore the face of someone who'd just taken a blow square to the jaw.

"What you said is true. I think people always have a purpose when they approach other people, too."

Noh Bihyeok had said the same thing. That I no longer had any reason to talk to people.

My head understood it, roughly. But it still didn't land in my heart.

Until I met the Fog, no one had ever spoken to me without a reason.

But thanks to Director Yoon, I had learned one thing for certain.

'It's okay even if you're not okay.'

'……'

'You don't have to be in a good place to finish the work.'

You didn't have to be okay.

So I told Seo Jio, who was still staring at me with a dumbfounded expression:

"If you're going to use me, then I'll just get something out of you in return. If we both profit that way, neither of us loses. That used to be fine with me. But not anymore."

"……"

Though I hated to admit it, this guy and I were quite alike.

I thought we only had similar tastes. Turns out we think the same way, too.

What was the difference between me using Director Yoon as a long-term chess piece and him trying to use my fame? If both sides were satisfied with what they got in return, what was the problem?

I was still confused. I didn't know what I wanted to do, or what the right thing to do was.

But judging only by this moment, one thing was crystal clear: being used to my face did not feel okay.

So I threw out only the part I was sure of.

"From now on, don't say 'I'm using you' or whatever out loud in front of people. No matter how honest you are, that's going too far. Do that much, and I'll give you what you want — within reason."

"Okay…."

Seo Jio nodded blankly.

I added one more thing.

"And don't pull what you pulled earlier."

"Huh?"

"Apologizing with that pitiful face while trying to get what you want at the same time. That's textbook gaslighting."

When I told him to stop exploiting his looks for no reason, Seo Jio blinked.

"……Was that a compliment? That I'm good-looking?"

Tsk. The guy can't even read the room.

I sighed and, in the end, rapped him ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hard on the head with my knuckles.

Rubbing his forehead and complaining it hurt, he was still laughing.

"Haha. Okay, fine, I get it. I'll do as you say. You must have been annoyed, so thanks for talking it out calmly instead of getting angry."

"……Why on earth do you want to be famous that badly?"

If you just wanted to be famous, you could become a streamer or something. You'd have a decent shot at it, honestly.

At my words, Seo Jio burst out laughing again. What was with him, cracking up every five minutes?

"I don't just want to be famous. I want to be famous as an actor. Just being famous isn't enough, but I don't want to only act, either. My goal is to be a popular actor."

But why, though?

The guy read the question blooming across my face and smiled.

"It's heavy stuff, so I've never told anyone… but since I want you to think well of me, I'll make an exception and tell you."

"No, you really don't have to—"

"My mom walked out on us when I was twelve. To become an actress."

"……"

Damn it.

This is way too personal.

I knew that hearing a story like this would only give me a headache later.

But I couldn't very well tell him to stop — not when I'd been the one to say I wasn't curious.

"I can understand it, sort of. When I grabbed her at the end, trying to stop her, she said exactly one thing to me."

"……What did she say?"

How could anyone say that to a kid making a face like his?

"She said, 'Jio. I want to be an actress more than I want to be your mother.'"

"……"

Seo Jio's face was full of laughter.

"I saw it coming, but it went worse than I expected. These days she doesn't even go to auditions anymore — from what I can tell, she's basically given up. That's why I have to become a popular actor. I want to make her regret it."

"……"

"If we ever meet again, I'm going to tell her — I made it before you did."

Seo Jio, smiling as he said it, looked for all the world like he was about to cry.

This is a difficult spot.

After hesitating forever over what to say, I just raised my hand instead.

"…?"

When I patted him on the back, one of his eyebrows shot up.

"Then good luck."

"……"

The corner of his mouth twitched, froze — and then lifted.

The smile that spread across his face, soft and unguarded, wasn't a bad one.

Right up until he opened his mouth again.

"You really are just like a cat. Now that I look, even your face is— Ah!"

Tsk. I knuckled him on the head again, harder this time.

Just keep your mouth shut.

Fortunately, the other kids' interest in me died down before long.

Part of it was that Baek Seojin had barked everyone into line so thoroughly, and part of it was that my indifferent responses made the whole thing boring.

Most ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of all, public opinion had been neatly cleaned up.

Our agency really does know how to do its job.

Back before I met the Fog, when rumors swirled, I'd been famous enough that denying anything would have just been covering my eyes and pretending not to see.

'Looking back, I guess I was an outcast — but thanks to my fans, I'm so happy now that I don't even have time to think about it.' That single sentence had become my official image.

The endless stream of content my agency supplied had cemented it firmly in the public mind.

And as public opinion settled, the kids at school quieted down along with it.

Whenever that happened, Seo Jio's words would sometimes drift back to me.

He really is funny, I'll give him that.

It wasn't an unpleasant thing, knowing there was someone out there who thought the way I did.

He seemed twisted somewhere deep down — but then, so was I.

Keeping things at this comfortable distance doesn't seem so bad.

The same went for Baek Seojin.

Her rocky relationship with Noh Bihyeok was a sticking point, but she was far too good a person to be reduced to a few exchanged words in the school hallway and nothing more.

Which was why, when Baek Seojin said what she said, I was genuinely blindsided.

"Guys. I'm transferring schools."

"……"

At the sudden bombshell, the spoons of everyone at the table — me, Noh Bihyeok, Seo Jio — stopped mid-air.

The person who'd dropped it looked surprisingly calm.

"Is this because of what we talked about before?"

At Seo Jio's question, Baek Seojin gave a small snort of a laugh.

"No? I'm not about to transfer because of a bunch of kids whispering that I hang out with you two. If they're jealous, they can come talk to us themselves. The pathetic ones are beneath my notice."

If those kids ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had genuinely made life hard for Baek Seojin, she would have ground her teeth and refused to transfer out of sheer pride.

"Then what is it?"

When I asked carefully, Baek Seojin shrugged.

"Acting doesn't feel like my path."

"That thought just came to you now?"

"I only joined this program in the first place without thinking much. Everyone kept going on about how pretty I was, saying I should be a celebrity. Singing was out of the question… so I figured, why not try acting instead?"

Her voice as she said it sounded relieved. Unburdened.

Like someone who had already made up her mind.

"But once I got here and actually watched you all, I felt so immature. Haeun's already studying hard to become a doctor. And Noh Bihyeok — you really do live earnestly, you know."

"Uh… thanks…?"

Noh Bihyeok, suddenly complimented by the girl who usually only needled him, answered in a daze.

Baek Seojin paid him no mind and kept going.

"Every time I watched you and Seo Jio act, my chest felt tight. I don't want to practice acting that desperately…. These days, taking care of myself is more fun. Doing makeup, shopping for clothes. Ugh, now that I've said it out loud I sound even more pathet—"

"Seojin. Stop."

Self-loathing was bleeding into her voice, so I cut in quickly.

"We're at the age where feeling this kind of confusion is normal. You're supposed to keep trying things and running into walls so you can figure out what you actually want. They say if you don't wander enough now, the blow hits much harder once you're an ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠adult. The fact that you're struggling with this is natural — it's actually a good sign."

"Yeonjae. You're just reciting that straight out of a book."

"……"

How did she know? My words caught in my throat.

When I fell silent, Noh Bihyeok snickered and picked up the slack.

"Where would our Yeonjae ever go, right~? But honestly, I get what he's saying too. I'm only fine because my dream's been set since I was little. How many kids our age actually know what they want to do? I texted my friends from elementary school, and apparently their lives are just school, eat, sleep."

"I have my own circumstances, that's why I'm working this hard. If my dream weren't already decided, there'd be no need to start sprinting this early."

I nodded along immediately to Seo Jio's words.

"That's right, Seojin. Life is long. We're only at the starting line — if you run without ever stopping to think, you might just lose your direction."

"Yeonjae. Enough with the book quotes…."

Why am I the only one getting called out?

I almost jutted my lip out in a pout, but it felt far too Fog-like, so I swallowed it right back down.

Once I shut up, the rest of them chattered away among themselves.

"So you're going to a regular middle school?"

"Yep. And it's not even a big deal — it's right next door. Let's meet up often, whenever our schedules line up. Seo Jio, I'm going to come hang out at your place a lot."

"Mm…. You really don't have to."

"It's not like I'm going to see you anyway. I'm going to play with your little siblings."

At that, Noh Bihyeok raised an eyebrow.

"Seo Jio has siblings? I thought he was an only child."

"He has younger siblings. A girl and a boy. Twins, actually. They just turned two, I think? They're adorable. You should come visit sometime too, Noh Bihyeok."

"Whoa, two years old? That's a real baby. I love babies. When can I come?"

"Oh, then how about this weekend?"

Next to Noh Bihyeok, who was nodding along with a bright face, Seo Jio muttered gloomily.

"Guys. I have plans this weekend…."

"Like I said, we're not going to see you. I'll clear it with your father in advance."

"Why do you keep contacting my dad? It's because of you that he keeps calling you his daughter-in-law."

"Well, I do intend to marry into the family. Not you, though — your little sister."

"……Didn't you just say she's two?"

At Noh Bihyeok's laugh-so-awkward-it-hurt remark, Baek Seojin yelped, "Retract! Retract!"

And at the same moment, all four of us burst out laughing.

The warm midsummer sunlight streaming through the cafeteria windows wrapped around the four of us.

It was the same lunch menu as always, but today it somehow tasted better than usual — or so it seemed.

And at the same time, a strange, wistful feeling crept in — the kind I suspected I would never feel again.

A few days later, I was up before dawn and on my way in a car.

Today was finally the day — the day of my second commercial shoot.