050. Restaurant-Hunting Mukbang
050. Restaurant-Hunting Mukbang
Originally, I'd planned to eat only about three bowls.
But the food was so damn good that I lost control.
"...I should probably stop now."
【Reformed Guburi】─You really fucking housed that green poop.
【Yoho】─Hehe. You ate so heartily, it was a joy to watch.
【Qkrnfl892】─First time I've ever felt sorry for the food. Lol.
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─For real, the food looked like it was getting reverse-raped. Jealous.
【Hottie Licker】─Do you always eat that much?
"I don't normally eat like this."
【Plum Tree】─If he ate like that every day, he couldn't keep that body.
【Dick Lover】─I'm confident I'd still love our Se-hun even if he got chubby.
【BigGirl】─Unrequited love. Yikes.
【Min-ji】─If you don't normally eat that much, it must mean the food was really good!
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya. So it really was delicious after all.
【Gyejipsa】─Pya!
"That's what I've been telling you from the start. It's delicious. Fucking unbelievable, you people don't believe a word I say."
【Reformed Guburi】─Lol, I believed you.
【Yoho】─I believed you. Heh.
【Hottie Licker】─Me too, lol. Lick!
"Crazy bitches."
What a bunch of shameless assholes.
They'd been raising hell about not believing me just a moment ago.
"Anyway, I should get up soon."
【Plum Tree】─Already? You're not going to try anything else on the menu?
【Reformed Guburi】─For real, you just fucking housed nothing but green poop and now you're leaving.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! What a waste of cola!
【Gyejipsa】─Wa kyapya!
"Trying every other dish on the menu would be a bit much. Overeating late at night is bad for you. If I'd been drinking, I might've ordered some simple snacks, but I can't drink right now."
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─Why can't you drink?
"Because I drove here. You dumb bitch."
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─Aha.
【Qkrnfl892】─Lol, try using your brain before you type.
【Reformed Guburi】─Looking at that Reverse-Rape bastard, I think their intelligence is seriously fucking low.
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─I'm a little slow. Sorry.
【Reformed Guburi】─If you're stupid, just shut the hell up. Lol.
"Guburi. Being slow isn't a crime, don't you think that's a bit harsh?"
【Reformed Guburi】─??
【Hottie Licker】─For real, you're a dumbass yourself.
【Yoho】─I guess it's self-hatred.
【Dick Lover】─Guburi crossed a line.
【Reformed Guburi】─Oh, fuck off.
"You, take some time to reflect. Gyejipsa, Chat Mute Guburi."
【Reformed Guburi】─You fucker! You called me a dumbass too!
【Gyejipsa】─Hahaha!
『User 'Reformed Guburi' has been chat-restricted. Time remaining: 00:05:00』
I delivered righteous judgment upon Guburi,
and offered some words of comfort to Maniac.
"Maniac. Don't get too down. It's possible to be a little slow."
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─? You called me a dumbass earlier, too.
"Gyejipsa. Chat Mute Maniac."
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─???
【Gyejipsa】─Reformed Guburi, shut it.
『User 'Reverse-Rape Maniac' has been chat-restricted. Time remaining: 00:05:00』
"I went to the trouble of comforting you, and you're running your mouth with unnecessary crap. Looking to die?"
【Dick Lover】─Yikes.
【Yoho】─Gasp.
【Qkrnfl892】─He just fucking went into tyrant mode out of nowhere. Lol.
【BigGirl】─Why did that one get a Chat Mute...?
【Plum Tree】─As expected, our Se-hun is a man I'll never understand, no matter how much I watch...
【Hottie Licker】─Being incomprehensible is part of his charm. Lick.
【Drift AI】─I pose a question. I state that no matter how much I analyze it, I cannot determine the criteria for the chat restriction.
The viewers were questioning me again.
It seemed they thought I was just handing out Chat Mutes without a second thought.
"Guys, you seem to be misunderstanding something. I have strict and proper criteria when I give out Chat Mutes. It's not like I do it arbitrarily, based on my mood, without a reason."
【Hottie Licker】─There were criteria?
【Min-ji】─What's the criteria?
【Dick Lover】─Let's hear what it is. Lol.
【Drift AI】─I am curious. I demand you speak at once.
"Anyway, I should get up now. Gotta get back before it gets dark."
【Yoho】─??
【Hottie Licker】─What's the damn criteria, fuck!
【Qkrnfl892】─His skill at changing the subject is top-notch.
【Drift AI】─I speak. I state that the reason for the chat restriction did not exist.
"Gyejipsa. Chat Mute Drift."
【Gyejipsa】─Hahaha!
【Drift AI】─Moving.
【Drift AI】─I speak. I state that I cannot accept a chat restriction without reason.
"Oh, really? Hmm... I was planning to keep the stream on until I got home, but because of Drift, I'll just end it now."
【Drift AI】─I speak. I state that I always welcome chat restrictions.
And so, I gave Drift a Chat Mute, too.
"Should've done that from the start. Annoying the hell out of me."
【Hottie Licker】─Lick...
【Yoho】─Hehe...
For the record, it wasn't a lie that I had criteria for chat restricting people.
After keeping a close eye on the chat window,
if I saw a message that crossed a line, I'd assign my own penalty points. Once those points piled up enough, I'd drop a Chat Mute on them.
By launching a surprise attack at the most unexpected moment.
‘There was no particular need to tell them that.’
I didn't want the viewers to know about the penalty points.
Because they might start walking on eggshells and self-moderating the intensity of their chat.
‘If that happened, the chat would get boring.’
I avoided that outcome, so I simply kept my mouth shut.
Muting people out of the blue was also intended to prevent them from figuring out exactly which comment had gotten them in trouble.
All to make sure they wouldn't have to think twice when typing in chat.
‘But wait, what chat did Guburi send that even made me give them so many penalty points?’
And as for me,
I also didn't know exactly which chat had caused the trouble.
I only remembered the fact that I'd given out penalty points.
‘...I dunno. They must've posted something that crossed the line, so I gave them points.’
Anyway.
I wasn't a tyrant; I was administering Chat Mutes in an extremely rational manner.
【Qkrnfl892】─Tyrant bastard.
"Gyejipsa. Chat Mute Eight-Nine-Two."
Probably.
***
As soon as I stood up from my seat, sighs of lament came from most of the tables.
"Oh."
"Ohh..."
I looked around and saw that the other customers were openly staring at me.
Everyone except for two people.
"Kreuh. That guy's popular. Though I don't see the appeal myself. He's too tall and has no beard."
A shorty with a beard was downing liquor and muttering softly.
Apparently, that shorty's type was short, bearded men.
"Hmum. I don't get it. How can anyone be interested in a kid like that? Are they a bunch of criminals?"
A pointy-eared woman sitting at the next table over shook her head, eyeing the other customers with contempt.
Either way, apart from those two, everyone else couldn't tear their eyes away from me.
With regret written all over their faces.
The armored woman at the table to my right was no exception.
"Um... Are you leaving already...?"
The armored woman spoke carefully.
"Yes. I want to get back before it gets too late."
"Ah..."
The armored woman's expression, too, was filled with disappointment.
But she only moved her lips slightly and didn't say anything more.
It felt like she was holding herself back, worried that talking any further would make me uncomfortable.
‘I thought she wasn't that interested in me... I figured she was just pretending not to be.’
I bowed my head slightly to the armored woman in farewell, then moved my feet toward the exit.
And then my eyes met the Fox Woman's.
‘...What was with that wistful look on her face?’
The Fox Woman's expression was quite a sight.
She looked like the tragic heroine of a romance, sending her lover away.
I decided to just ignore her, too.
"He's really going."
"It's been so long since a man was here, it made the drinks taste better..."
"Leaving already? Come on. Stay just a little longer."
"Should've worked up the courage to at least talk to him."
"Follow... going..."
I heard regretful So-ri everywhere, but I paid it no real mind and slipped out of the hall.
***
When I stepped into the corridor, the bunny girl employee at the counter pricked up her ears and greeted me.
"Oh? You're leaving already! So, how was the meal? To your liking?"
"Yes. It was even more delicious than I expected."
"I'm so glad you liked it!"
After a little small talk.
I asked if I could purchase the necklace, and the employee smiled brightly, telling me I could just take it.
Of course, she mentioned it wasn't an item they normally gave out for free.
She said that the cola I'd brought had turned out to be far more valuable than I'd imagined, so this was a special service.
Just as I was about to take the necklace and leave the restaurant, the employee abruptly handed me one more item.
"Ah! And please take this, too!"
"Excuse me?"
The item she handed me was a blue orb.
It was roughly the size of a baseball.
"When that orb turns red, it's a signal that our restaurant has opened in your world!"
The employee gave me a brief explanation of the orb.
She added that they didn't normally give this to just any customer, either.
It looked like the cola really had been that valuable.
"Then please come visit us again next time!"
"Thank you. Goodbye."
I took the necklace and the orb, then left the restaurant.
***
A little while after Gye Se-hun left the restaurant.
A blue-skinned woman slipped out of the hall and entered the corridor with the counter.
"Follow... going..."
Hearing that So-ri,
the employee, who had been leaning over the counter with closed eyes, flinched in surprise and raised her head.
"Huh? Customer? This area isn't connected to the entrance to your wor—..."
The bunny girl employee couldn't finish her sentence.
Because the customer who'd seemed to have taken a wrong turn toward the exit was now nowhere to be seen.
"Huh? Where did she go? Did she go back into the hall?"
The employee looked around, turning her head.
And then she stared hard at the door connecting to the hall.
"...The corridor structures are all different, so she probably realized straight away that this wasn't the right place and went back in."
Wearing an expression that said she couldn't be bothered, the employee slumped back over the counter, trying to get some sleep again.
***
The blue woman who had crossed over into the world where Gye Se-hun lived.
With her crotch soaked damp,
she was walking along the road, flaring her nostrils.
"Follow... going... breed..."
Fortunately, not a single car encountered her.
This was because the road was a quiet, secluded one with almost no traffic.
Had a male driver encountered her, he would have been assaulted on the spot. This was because the blue woman's world was a nonsensical place where the ratio of women to men reached 4000 to 1.
In a way, it was only natural that she'd lost her reason and was desperately craving a man's seed.
"Sniff sniff..."
It was right when the blue woman was tracking Gye Se-hun's scent and walking along the road.
"That restaurant Se-hun visited should definitely be around here... Huh? Hello!"
A woman with a petite frame who looked no taller than 150 cm stepped in front of her and greeted her.
"I saw you on the broadcast earlier! The camera caught you for just a second! What a coincidence meeting you here!"
"..."
"But are you really a person from another world? It's just cosplay, right? And that Wandering Restaurant or whatever is just a concept restaurant?"
"..."
"Ah, sorry! I just asked on the off chance; I hope I didn't upset you? Well, if you were a real otherworlder, it wouldn't make sense for you to be here right now."
"..."
"Hehe. If someone talks to you, you should at least respond! How embarrassing!"
"Get lost..."
"Huh? Are you a foreigner?"
The woman blocking her path must have been an annoyance.
The blue woman's expression twisted into an ugly grimace as six tentacles sprouted from her back.
Upon seeing this, the small woman's eyes grew wide.
"Whoa! What the heck!? You're really not human? You were actually an otherworlder! Ah, you're not a modified human, right? I'll be disappointed if you are."
The small woman wasn't scared at all.
Rather, she smiled innocently and was overjoyed.
"Oh? But I've never heard of a modified human like that! Probability that you're an otherworlder goes up again!"
"..."
"Hehe. This is really amazing. So, yokai are real, too? When I stopped by the abandoned house Se-hun explored yesterday, there was nothing there, so I just thought people were doing a concept and making stuff up!"
The small woman, rummaging through her pockets, pulled out a cell phone.
"The world's still full of things I don't know. I'm so glad I killed those researchers when I was young and secured my freedom!"
Click, click.
She began photographing the blue woman's appearance.
"I've gotta post this on the Streamer Gallery! Not that anyone's going to believe it; they'll just say it's edited..."
That was when it happened.
Shwooook— Thunk!
"...Huh?"
The blue woman's tentacle flew forth with terrifying speed and pierced through the small woman's stomach.
The small woman stared blankly down at her own belly.
"..."
The small woman raised her head back up.
Every trace of laughter had already vanished from her face.
She stared at the blue woman, expressionless, and asked in a frosty So-ri.
"Why are you attacking me?"
***
On a desolate road where cars rarely passed.
In front of a lump of blue meat that had been mauled to gruesome pieces, a woman in a black suit was on the phone with someone.
"Reporting. Test Subject A-33 encountered an unidentified lifeform. After an engagement lasting about three minutes, she dispatched the lifeform. She has now left the scene and is currently purchasing beer and condoms at a convenience store."
［Understood... No, wait! Unidentified lifeform? All of a sudden?］
"Yes. A bizarre lifeform with blue skin abruptly appeared by the roadside."
［...Could it be a biological weapon made by another country's lab?］
"It seems likely. For now, I will retrieve the corpse and bring it to the lab."
［Understood. Are there any other notable events?］
"One more thing. Test Subject A-33 left a strange message on the ground, written in the lifeform's blood, before departing."
［No, if she needs something, tell her to just send a damn text... Honestly, what an eccentric bitch. So, what did she write?］
The woman in the black suit shifted her gaze to the phrase written on the ground.
"...It appears to be a message she just left as a joke. There's no need to pay it any mind."
And then she averted her gaze once more.
Naturally thinking that this message had been left as a joke.
<Wakyapya! Otherworlders really do exist!>