048. Restaurant-Hunting Mukbang
048. Restaurant-Hunting Mukbang
Three fox tails dropped to the floor.
I was the first to notice, and the Fox Woman only realized it a beat later.
"...Huh?"
The color drained from the Fox Woman's face.
"M-my tails..."
Maybe her muscles had seized up.
She went rigid on the spot.
She didn't so much as twitch, as if she'd been bound in invisible chains.
Only her eyes trembled faintly.
Naturally, the camera caught the whole scene.
I snuck a glance at the chat, and sure enough, most of the messages were mocking the Fox Woman.
【Hottie Licker】─Lol look at her face. She's so fucking flustered. Lick.
【Qkrnfl892】─That's a gumiho, right? (Not a gumiho) lololol
【Yoho】─Gasp...
【Plum Tree】─It was cosplay. Figures.
【Reformed Guburi】─You fucking Yukmiho bitch lolol your tail glue job was a mess.
【Dick Lover】─Isn't she crying?
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─But don't you stick cosplay tails up your asshole? Did her sphincter give out?
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! You attach tails to your clothes! Why would you stick 'em up your stinky asshole?
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─You're into scat yourself, don't act like you're not nn sniff sniff.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya... This bastard wasn't doing a bit...
【Se-hun Defense Force】─Looks like that fox was cosplaying after all. She did make the tails pretty well, though. I couldn't even tell.
【Drift AI】─I will speak. I estimate the remaining tails are also fake.
【Min-ji】─Of course they're fake. Drift, you don't seem to get what cosplay is~
The Fox Woman came to her senses a step too late.
Face burning crimson, she started scooping up the tails.
But the situation only got worse.
Thud.
【BigGirl】─Huh? Another one fell...
Another of the Fox Woman's tails had dropped to the floor.
Now she'd been reduced to a Three-Tailed Fox with only three tails left.
"Uh-huh?"
With a ridiculous sound, the Fox Woman looked back and forth between the tail she was holding and the new one that had fallen behind her.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! She's degenerating in real time! Lolol
【Plum Tree】─lolol Just yank off the rest. The ears too.
【Se-hun Defense Force】─The remaining tails and the ears on her head look real, though.
The Defense Force had a point.
Because at the very least, the fox ears and the tails still attached looked genuine, not fake.
Right now, the Fox Woman was flailing her tail and ears around wildly, completely at a loss.
No way you could move like that unless they were connected to your nerves.
‘...Now I was actually starting to feel sorry for her.’
Tears welled up in the Fox Woman's eyes.
She seemed deeply humiliated.
The trembling in her hands got so bad she couldn't even pick the tails up properly.
‘Jeez. I'd at least help her pick them up.’
I decided to be generous and help gather the tails.
***
Clutching the tails to her chest, the Fox Woman bowed her head in thanks.
"Thank you..."
"Yeah. Now please go back to your seat."
"Okay..."
With her fox ears drooping,
she trudged back toward her table, then suddenly stopped walking.
She turned around and started heading straight toward me again.
Why was she coming back?
I stared at the Fox Woman with that thought in mind.
She stopped in front of me, hung her head low like she was embarrassed, and spoke.
"...Um, I'm really grateful you picked up my tails just now. So, to return the favor, how about I eat with you and recommend some dishes?"
This was a lunatic beyond anything I'd imagined.
I hadn't expected her to still not give up.
【Hottie Licker】─Wow. She's persistent, the crazy bitch. lol
【Reformed Guburi】─Seriously makes me want to throw a cunt punch.
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─Haahk!
【Reformed Guburi】─?
【Dick Lover】─What is she doing? If she was gonna pull this, she could've at least switched up her line. Never met a man in her life or what?
【Yoho】─Clearly never been in a relationship.
【Min-ji】─Men hate women who cling like that.;-;
【Drift AI】─I will speak. I recommend cracking that fox's skull open. I estimate there is no brain inside.
【Plum Tree】─lololol
【Se-hun Defense Force】─Se-hun. Just call a staff member and have her banned from approaching you.
The viewers were sending chats that sounded genuinely irritated.
I politely made it clear I was refusing, one more time.
"I told you I want to eat alone. Just go back to your seat."
"...Then why did you pick up my tails?"
"Excuse me?"
"Y-you helped me because you have at least some interest in me, right? If not, why would you help me and make me misunderstand?"
I was utterly speechless.
What kind of thought process led to a conclusion like that?
It was so absurd I couldn't even come up with a rebuttal.
‘Fuck. I shouldn't go around being nice to just anyone.’
Anyway, with a bitch like this, profanity was the cure.
She obviously wasn't going to back off if I was polite.
I was just about to unleash a spectacular torrent of abuse and chase her off when—
"That about enough?"
A woman strode over and grabbed the Fox Woman by the scruff of the neck.
It was the plate-armor woman who'd been sitting at the right-hand table.
"He said he's not interested."
"What? Who the hell are you to butt in?"
The armor woman heaved a sigh.
Then she roughly yanked the Fox Woman aside and flung her to the floor.
"Aahk!"
"Stop spoiling the atmosphere and go back to your seat. If you don't want to get hurt."
"W-why, you—!"
Lying flat on the floor, the Fox Woman glared at the armor woman with murder in her eyes.
She was biting her lip hard enough to draw blood.
It felt like a huge commotion was about to break out.
"What are you glaring at?"
The armor woman lowered her voice.
Her expression grew even more menacing.
Averting her gaze, the Fox Woman muttered.
"...If we'd lived in the same world, you'd be a bitch who couldn't even look me in the eye."
"The fuck are you on about. A Fox Tribe member puffing herself up."
"Fox Tribe? I'm not that, I'm a yokai."
"A yokai, what's that now? Anyway, if you're so confident, call an employee, get permission, and we'll fight it out."
"...I'll let you off just this once."
"I said get permission and let's fight."
"I said I'm letting you off."
"No need to let me off anything, so let's fight."
"We yokai exist to protect humans, so I can't. Count yourself lucky."
Maybe she'd gotten scared.
The Fox Woman was the first to tuck her tails and back down, and the situation fizzled out anticlimactically.
【Reformed Guburi】─That bitch chickened out. Lolol
【Hottie Licker】─"Let you off" tff lol so fucking pathetic. Ptui.
【Dick Lover】─Her trying to save face is kind of cute, honestly.
【Yoho】─It's not cute.
【Plum Tree】─Lolol yokai protecting humans? This bitch has never met a yokai.
【Se-hun Defense Force】─nn You never know, there might be a world where yokai protect humans. Worlds are diverse. For reference, the world I went to didn't even have the term yokai.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya. Defense Force, you're still running the isekai-person bit?
【Se-hun Defense Force】─lol You don't have to believe it.
After checking the chat for a moment,
I politely thanked the armor woman.
"Thank you for helping me."
"It's nothing. I only did what was right. A handsome young man like you is in a tough spot—how could I, as a woman, just turn away?"
"Ah, yeah..."
"Then I'll return to my table now. If that fox starts pestering you again, I'll chase her off, so please enjoy your meal."
With that, the armor woman went back to her seat.
【Qkrnfl892】─Oh. Kinda cool?
【Yoho】─I thought she'd use helping as an excuse to ask to join you, but that was unexpected.
【Hottie Licker】─fr lol I thought she only helped to hit on you. She was just a nice person. Lick.
【Reformed Guburi】─Wakyapya! Acting all sweet because there's a man around!
【Bubblegum Collector】─? Don't steal my bit. -_-
【Reformed Guburi】─K.
【Gyejipsa】─W a k ya pya1
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─But after this, she'll probably try to strike up a conversation naturally and then casually suggest joining you.
【Dick Lover】─Yeah, feels like she's testing the waters.
【Plum Tree】─Plausible.
【★Hun's World】─Shut the fuck up, you retards. Saying all kinds of crap about someone who helped.
【BigGirl】─?? Why are you talking in chat?
【Se-hun Defense Force】─Seems like he's conscious of the stares. Lol
【★Hun's World】─Because of that incident, all the other customers' eyes are on me now. They were already glancing over here constantly, and now they're openly staring.
【Reformed Guburi】─Getting eye-raped?
【Yoho】─Gasp!
【Qkrnfl892】─Curse at them and tell them to stop staring. You're good at cursing.
【★Hun's World】─nn I was eye-raping other customers earlier myself, so I can't.
【Yoho】─Gasp...
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─Oh fuck yeah, rape me too!
【Plum Tree】─Chat screenshot.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! Getting eye-raped by a guy is basically a reward, isn't it?
【Reformed Guburi】─fr Especially if it's a Gye Bastard-hun-class guy, you'd squirt yourself.
【Min-ji】─That is true~
【Hottie Licker】─If it's Se-hun, it's fine. But if an ugly guy runs his eyes all over my body, it feels gross. Ptui.
【Reformed Guburi】─Nobody's looking at you anyway, dumbass. Lol
I was ignoring the other customers' stares as much as possible and chatting with my viewers when—
"Table 10, your order is ready."
A bunny-boy staff member approached my table holding a large platter.
"...Already?"
Something was off.
My order had definitely been taken last.
The other customers' tables were still completely empty, so it made no sense for my food to come out first.
‘Was my dish the fastest one to cook?’
Or maybe food meant for another table had been brought to mine by mistake.
Just in case, I decided to ask the staff member.
I'd simply asked them to bring whatever sold best, so I wasn't a hundred percent sure this was actually mine.
"Is this the dish I ordered?"
"Yes, that's correct! As you requested, we prepared our restaurant's best-selling dish!"
At least it hadn't been brought by mistake.
"Ah. But I ordered last..."
"Gentleman first!"
The reason the food had come out fast was simpler than I'd thought.
It was just because I was a man, so they'd given me special treatment.
‘Come on. You could've just brought it out in order... Now I felt self-conscious for no reason.’
I shot a glance at the other tables.
Fortunately, nobody seemed unhappy.
The mood was that nobody cared at all.
"Then enjoy your meal!"
"...Thank you."
The bunny boy set the food down and hopped back toward the kitchen.
I looked at the 'elongated green lumps' sitting on the table, then shifted my gaze to the chat.
【Reformed Guburi】─Fucking hell, what is that?
【Plum Tree】─Wow, insane. My appetite just cratered.
【Qkrnfl892】─Are they playing a prank with the food?
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya... Is that stuff even edible?
【Hottie Licker】─Ptui ptui fuck!
【Yoho】─Is it alive? It keeps wriggling? Maybe it's like sannakji.
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─Not sannakji, that's octopus-sized.
【Dick Lover】─Looks like sannakji got irradiated, mutated, and grew huge.
【Min-ji】─Looks like a tentacle monster~...
【Se-hun Defense Force】─Huh? One's trying to escape the plate! Catch it!
I looked back down at the table.
"..."
Things that looked like intestines, drenched in green seasoning, were squirming on the plate.
This was going to be interesting.