Chapter 72
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 72
Chapter Title: Is This a Country?
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"Ahem!"
Cheonwi let out a fake cough, already feeling like his nose might start gushing blood just from the mental image. Tira's firm, bronze skin paired with a white fox tail plugged into her rear? That was straight-up cheating.
"Hah, resorting to beast cosplay? How childish."
The Sword Empress sneered coldly and raised her hand.
"All night long. No time limit."
Her words sent a ripple through the gathered crowd. No time limit meant she was declaring war, ready to grind down both stamina and willpower. The Sword Empress licked her lips with a red tongue and added in a low voice,
"And... we'll include bondage as an option. Of course, I'll be the one tied up. Master just needs to hold the whip. I'm fully prepared to scream through the night and satisfy your sadistic urges. Blood's fine too."
The banquet hall instantly shifted into hardcore territory. This woman meant business. Pure madness.
"2 hours of wine service!"
"3 hours of cosplay!"
"Unlimited service!"
Bids skyrocketed like mad. Hearing each other's offers, they upped the ante with even more provocative and outrageous conditions, refusing to lose.
"I'll do full-body hair removal!"
"I'll let you write your name on my ass!"
"I'll take Master's toes!"
The auction had lost all reason. In a frenzy of beauties throwing dignity and decorum out the window, even Cheonwi's mind started to blur.
That was when it happened.
"Pfft."
A short burst of laughter cut through the chaos.
It was quiet, but it stabbed into everyone's ears with unnatural clarity.
All eyes snapped to the center seat. It was Yeonhwa. She set down her teacup gracefully, as if the whole farce was amusing.
"How cute you all are. Such valiant efforts."
Yeonhwa flicked open her fan with a rustle, covering her mouth. But her eyes peeking over it weren't smiling at all. Pure arrogance.
"Trying to satisfy him with just your bodies? You think Cheonwi's some dog in heat, chasing nothing but physical pleasure?"
"What did you say?"
Tira growled. Yeonhwa ignored her and looked straight at Cheonwi.
"Cheonwi."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"I've heard the imperial finances are tight these days. Even the budget for that new weapon you're developing got cut, right? No matter how much money you have, that's tough to fix."
"Ah, yes... that's true."
"I'll handle it."
Yeonhwa crooked a single finger.
"The full annual budget for the Inner Palace Ladies. And the key to the imperial secret funds vault. I'll offer that as my bid for this Friday."
"......!!"
Silence blanketed the banquet hall.
The full Inner Palace budget. That was an astronomical sum equivalent to one year's taxes from an entire nation. And the secret funds vault key? This wasn't just money—it was handing over control of the empire's economy.
Just as Cheonwi's eyes started turning into dollar signs, Yeonhwa drove the nail home.
"Use that money for whatever research you want, whatever equipment you need, whatever army you dream of building... Do it all. I just need to sleep by your side Friday night. How's that? Is there a more perfect deal?"
An overwhelming display of wealth (power).
This was the dignity of the "principal wife." On a whole different level from concubines throwing their bodies at him.
The crowd buzzed. Her skill at crushing them with cash was no joke. The Snowflower Princess shrank back, head bowed, and even the Sword Empress bit her lip in frustration.
But Tira was different.
She slammed the table with a bang! and shot to her feet.
"Don't make me laugh! Money isn't everything!"
Tira's rage-filled shout exploded out.
"Night work is all about stamina in the end! You can't fill a bed with cash! What are you gonna do with that pregnant, waddling body of yours? Cheonwi's not a stone Buddha—he won't get any fun out of some woman just breathing next to him all night!"
It was a direct hit at Yeonhwa's sore spot—no, her most powerful weapon and greatest weakness at once: her "pregnancy."
For a split second, Yeonhwa's eyebrow twitched. Her fanning hand stopped.
She slowly turned her head to stare at Tira. Her gaze was so icy, the room temperature seemed to drop.
"You barbarian bitch... daring to mention my child?"
Yeonhwa's voice was low and calm, but laced with lethal venom.
"Fine, my body's heavy right now. Nothing too intense. But listen."
Yeonhwa twisted her red lips into a sultry smile.
"Shut your mouth. Even with just my mouth, I can do better than you."
"......!"
"......!"
At the shocking declaration, Cheonwi dropped the eraser.
Iron Blood's jaw dropped, and Snowflower covered her ears, her face beet red. Words unbecoming of the noble Empress.
"Wh-what... mouth...?"
Even Tira stammered in shock. Yeonhwa leisurely crossed her legs and pressed on.
"What? Don't believe me? One flick of my tongue, and Cheonwi won't last three minutes before he's in paradise. It's not the same as you savages just shaking your hips like idiots. That's why the uneducated lack depth..."
"You, you slutty fox!"
Tira's face flushed crimson, like it might explode. This went beyond pride—it was a vulgar insult to her "technique" as a woman.
The Friday auction devolved into total chaos. Yeonhwa's overwhelming wealth and boundary-pushing taunts put Friday on indefinite hold. No one could match her momentum (or her mouth).
The sparks naturally flew to other days.
If they couldn't claim Friday, they had to stake their claim elsewhere.
"Then I'll take Wednesday."
The Sword Empress swiftly shifted tactics.
"Midweek, when you're most exhausted. Isn't 'family day' supposed to be for heading home early to spend with loved ones? As your pet, I'll lick away Master's fatigue. You can just sit on the sofa."
"What nonsense! Wednesday is field training day!"
Iron Blood jumped in.
"Wednesday's 'naked swimming' training! Gotta temper mind and body with nude swims!"
"Um... excuse me..."
Then, a mosquito-like voice from the corner. Snowflower Princess. She timidly raised her hand, gauging the mood.
"I... I won't be greedy... Just Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday mornings... even if just a little..."
"You're the worst one!"
Tira yelled.
"Chipping away bit by bit every day? That's the scariest! You don't notice your clothes getting soaked in a drizzle, and next thing you know, types like you are glued to his side!"
"N-no! I just get cold... I need a little of big brother's yang energy..."
"Shut up! You're on Tuesday duty tomorrow! Monopoly violation!"
Iron Blood pointed accusingly at Snowflower.
"And with that body of yours, no chance. Cheonwi likes glamour. Flat as a board front and back—you can't even show your face!"
"M-mine are big too! Relatively small, sure, but I hold my own anywhere!"
Snowflower sniffled, clutching her chest.
"Keep dreaming. Look at my ass first!"
Tira turned and thrust out her hips. Her maid skirt flipped up, baring her bouncy rear.
"This is prime natural apple hips! Touch it, and your hand bounces right off! Nothing like you softies!"
"Hmph, size isn't everything. Shape matters. My breasts are perfect teardrops."
The Sword Empress thrust out her deep cleavage through her outfit and fired back.
"Vulgar! All of you are vulgar!"
"Lose the gut first!"
"This is muscle!"
No hair-pulling, but a verbal brawl erupted.
"My ass is bouncier," "My tits are bigger," "My grip's the tightest"... and so on.
The imperial banquet hall turned into a den hotter than any red-light district, filled with primal insults and dirty talk.
Cheonwi stood at the blackboard, staring blankly at the scene.
He'd enjoyed the attention at first, but now his head was starting to throb.
'Is this a country...? No, is this a harem...'
He sensed the game he'd started had spiraled way out of control. These women were like eight-ton trucks with busted brakes.
The war of words turned emotional, and emotions foreshadowed physical clashes.
"If talk won't settle it, we'll fight for it! That's the soldier's way!"
Iron Blood finally snapped and drew her sword from her waist.
Shring!
Chilling sword ki filled the hall.
"Duel! Winner takes all days!"
"Fine by me!"
Tira whipped out her lash like she'd been waiting.
Crack!
The whip sliced the air with a sonic boom.
"Loser stays away from Cheonwi for a week... no, a month! No sniffing around!"
"Heh, blood? I welcome it."
The Sword Empress drew a dagger from her bosom, radiating killing intent. Even pregnant Yeonhwa signaled her escorts, readying for battle.
"Daring to draw weapons before the Empress? I'll charge you all with treason!"
"Kyaa! Big brother!"
Snowflower screamed and crawled under the table.
Boom! Clang!
Iron Blood's sword ki clashed with Tira's whip. The shockwave sliced a nearby marble table like tofu.
"My black tiger oil massage is the best!"
"In your dreams! Cheonwi's mine!"
The hall's furnishings began shattering.
Centuries-old porcelain exploded, gold-embroidered curtains shredded like rags by Tira's whip. Food flew everywhere, turning the buffet into a garbage dump.
"You crazy bitches... my wine!"
"Move it!"
Cheonwi pressed his forehead.
His blood pressure spiked.
He appreciated the affection, but this crossed the line.
His house (the palace) was getting wrecked.
"Ha... these women..."
Cheonwi's eyebrow twitched.
He held back, again and again. They were his women, after all, driven mad by love for him.
But when Iron Blood's sword ki grazed his hair and chipped the blackboard corner,
Cheonwi's patience hit zero.
"......"
Cheonwi quietly drew a deep breath. He gathered surging inner energy from his dantian into his right hand. His palm glowed red-hot.
Words wouldn't reach them anymore.
Even street mutts stop barking when you swing a stick. How much more these fierce beasts of the realm?
Cheonwi slammed his palm down on the remaining blackboard.
KABOOOM!!!