Chapter 7
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 7
Chapter Title: 3-Minute Curry
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She was ready to be tamed. The haughty empress kneeling at his feet, fidgeting under his touch. It was the ultimate thrill, igniting his desire to conquer.
About an hour had passed since Yeonhwa, sweating profusely, clumsily massaged his feet with her unskilled hands.
"Enough."
Cheonwi suddenly grabbed her wrist.
"I can't stand watching this anymore. It seems Your Majesty has never gotten a drop of water on your hands your whole life."
"...S-sorry. I've never done this before..."
Yeonhwa apologized in a subdued voice. Cheonwi chuckled and rose from his seat. He slipped his hands under her armpits and effortlessly lifted her onto the veranda.
"Wh-what?"
Her view flipped in an instant. Now Yeonhwa sat on the veranda while Cheonwi stood below her. But the atmosphere was completely different from before. Cheonwi's upward gaze felt far more intimidating than her downward one.
"Let me show you how it's done. This is what a massage is."
Cheonwi gently lifted the hem of Yeonhwa's skirt. Her white socked foot came into view. Yeonhwa startled and tried to pull away, but his grip was as unyielding as rock.
"Stay still. I'm providing a service here."
With practiced ease, Cheonwi removed her sock. A small, delicate foot emerged. Her toes wriggled in the cool night air.
Cheonwi enveloped her foot with his large hand. As the warm, rough male heat touched her, Yeonhwa's body stiffened.
"Relax."
Cheonwi's thumb pressed firmly into the center of her sole, right on the Yongquan Acupoint.
"Hngh!"
A moan escaped Yeonhwa's lips unbidden. It wasn't mere acupressure. A subtle stream of qi flowed from his fingertip, piercing her blocked meridian with force.
A sharp electric jolt shot from her sole, racing up her calf and surging into her inner thigh in a flash.
"Ah, it hurts... no, it's weird...!"
"Your channels are completely blocked. Too much stress. Releasing this will help you sleep better and improve your skin."
Cheonwi spoke calmly as he pressed his finger deeper.
He circled his thumb around her ankle bone, stimulating the area. It was a cluster of nerves linked to a woman's erogenous zones—a secret vital point known only to martial arts masters.
"Hnnng...! Th-there...!"
Yeonhwa's back arched like a bow. Pleasure curled her toes. Pain, relief, and a strange new sensation she'd never felt before rattled her brain.
Cheonwi's touch was relentless. He stroked up the arch of her foot, delved between her toes, dismantling every knotted muscle and nerve.
"Haah, ngh, stop, stop...!"
Yeonhwa clawed at the veranda floor. She wanted to tell him to stop, but moans kept spilling from her lips instead. A hot fire rose deep within her. Sensations suppressed for a year burst forth like a dam breaking under his hands.
Cheonwi looked up at Yeonhwa's sweat-drenched, flushed face with a sly grin.
"Does it hurt? Should I stop?"
"N-no... don't stop... no, stop... hngh!"
Contradictory words. Cheonwi smiled in satisfaction and infused his inner energy for the finishing blow—a thrilling sweep from her heel up her Achilles tendon.
Yeonhwa's body trembled as if electrocuted. Her vision flashed white. Limp, she slumped forward onto Cheonwi's shoulder.
Ragged breaths filled the veranda.
"Haa... haa... ha..."
Yeonhwa panted, sweat-matted hair sticking to her cheek. Her legs were utterly powerless. Her mind was hazy. Shame had evaporated, leaving only languid bliss and fulfillment.
Cheonwi indifferently wiped the oil from her foot with his sleeve. A perfectly natural motion, like an owner tending to a pet.
Yeonhwa gazed down at him with half-lidded eyes.
She was the empress, he a eunuch. Yet in this moment, Cheonwi was clearly the one in control. And the scary part? She didn't hate it. No, she craved it.
Pain vanished under this man's touch.
She felt no loneliness with him by her side.
Doing as he said felt good.
Yeonhwa instinctively knew she was being slowly, surely tamed by Cheonwi.
"...You."
Yeonhwa finally spoke, her voice husky.
"What in the world are you...? How does a mere eunuch know such techniques...?"
Cheonwi looked up, meeting her eyes. His fathomless black gaze seemed to pull her in.
"If I told you, could you handle it?"
His voice dropped low, carrying a dangerous allure. Yeonhwa swallowed hard. She wanted to know, but sensed it would change everything irreversibly.
Cheonwi chuckled without waiting for an answer. He carefully placed her cleaned foot back on the veranda and brought his lips to her ear.
Hot breath tickled her earlobe.
"Next time, I'll loosen up somewhere other than your feet. Look forward to it."
Yeonhwa's shoulders twitched. The lewd implications of "somewhere else" flushed her face anew. But she couldn't refuse. Her body had already memorized his touch.
Cheonwi stepped back, casually picking up the teapot from the corner of the veranda as if nothing had happened.
"You've sweated a lot, so you need to replenish fluids."
He poured tea into a cup, smoothly changing the subject. His skill at dissipating the thick tension was masterful.
Yeonhwa stared blankly before accepting the cup with both hands. Warmth seeped into her palms.
Her relaxed body and mind settled calmly. Now, at last, they could have a proper conversation.
Cheonwi propped his chin on his hand, staring intently at Yeonhwa.
"By the way, Your Majesty, about His Majesty the Emperor."
His playful gaze turned serious.
"How's the bedroom chemistry?"
"Pfft!"
Yeonhwa nearly spat out her tea. She barely covered her mouth, but a few drops trickled down her chin. She glared at the man in disbelief.
What had this insolent fool just said?
"B-bedroom... chemistry?"
The word was too embarrassing to even utter. Even the senior maids had blushed and skirted around it during her empress training. Yet this eunuch asked as casually as the weather.
"Your voice is too loud, Your Majesty. Someone might think I'm harassing you."
Cheonwi snickered, still propping his chin. She wanted to snap that he was harassing her, but she was too busy cooling her burning face.
"Such indecency...! To discuss His Majesty's private nights—what gall! You'd need ten heads for the crime."
"This is the Cold Palace—no one's listening. And inquiring about a patient's condition is standard procedure."
"How is this procedure?!"
"Your body is too tense."
Cheonwi circled his finger around the rim of his teacup.
"A woman's body is like a flower—it needs proper moisture, sunlight, and love to bloom fully. But Your Majesty's body? It's like... dry kindling. Not just from stress."
Cheonwi's eyes narrowed.
"Be honest. No need to play coy between us."
He leaned forward and whispered,
"His Majesty—is he a 3-Minute Curry? Done in three minutes flat?"
"...!"
Yeonhwa's eyes shook like an earthquake. She didn't know what "3-Minute Curry" meant, but the "three minutes" that followed hit painfully accurate.
Her silence was affirmation.
Yeonhwa let out a deep sigh. The tension eased by the foot massage returned to weigh on her shoulders. She fiddled with her teacup, her expression bitter.
"...You're a demon."
"I read faces a bit."
"His Majesty..."
Yeonhwa chose her words carefully. Exposing the emperor's flaws felt wrong, but strangely, she felt disarmed around Cheonwi. He'd massaged her feet, after all—what was the point of pretense now?
"His Majesty was always busy. Even in the bedroom, he was exhausted."
Moisture welled in her voice.
"Foreplay? Consideration? None of that. It was just duty—undress, insert, done. He never asked if I hurt or felt good."
Her wedding night held only pain. The emperor had been rough, clumsy, selfish. Satisfied, he'd rolled over and snored. Left alone, Yeonhwa clutched her aching core and sobbed quietly.
"I know no joy as a woman. Consummation is merely painful duty for producing heirs."
Cheonwi's face twisted oddly at her confession. He clicked his tongue.
"Tsk, what a guy—treating a treasure like a rock."
Cheonwi genuinely pitied the emperor. Wasting Yeonhwa, a peerless beauty, on a mere three minutes—and without care. By modern standards, it was grounds for divorce, maybe even criminal charges.
"Alright. Diagnosis complete."
Cheonwi slapped the table, flipping the mood.
"Your Majesty, special tutoring starts now."
"T-tutoring?"
"This won't do. I'll have to resuscitate your deadened senses with CPR."
Cheonwi pulled out a brush and paper from his robes—stationery from who-knows-where. With swift strokes, he began drawing on the paper.
Swish swish.
It was a nude sketch of a woman. Detailed yet subtly erotic. Yeonhwa gasped and tried to cover her eyes, but Cheonwi caught her hand.
"Look. This isn't pornography—it's a medical text."
Cheonwi feigned sternness, mimicking adjusting nonexistent glasses with his index finger. Like a professor at the podium.
"Harmony of yin and yang isn't just shoving a stick into a hole."
"Y-your words are so vulgar!"
"Reality was viler, wasn't it? Anyway, the key is preheating the 'flow of qi.'"
Cheonwi pointed to spots on the drawing with his brush tip.
"Even in martial arts, you circulate qi first, right? Pouring inner energy raw leads to qi deviation. Bedding's the same. Without proper warmup—'foreplay'—a woman's body only feels pain."
He translated modern sex knowledge into wulin terms and expounded.
"A woman's body hides countless acupoints. Only when they open does 'yin qi' surge, the jade gate unlocks, and true union is achieved."
Yeonhwa listened, entranced. It was all new to her. Truths of man-woman relations her mother and maids never taught.
"It wasn't your fault you felt nothing, Your Majesty. The rider... er, driver handling the horse was incompetent."
Yeonhwa blushed at the metaphor. Calling the emperor a poor rider. But she couldn't deny it.
"Your Majesty, sex isn't labor—it's 'science' and 'art.'"
Cheonwi's eyes gleamed.
"And I'm an authority in the field."
He set down the brush and stood. He picked up a rouge dish from the vanity—left by Baek Noble Consort.
Opening the lid revealed solid red pigment. He dipped his index finger generously.
"Theory's boring, so straight to practice."