Want to Become a Witch? (1)
Dust drifted through the Disciplinary Unit's broad hall, where thick stone walls and wooden pillars stood packed close together.
Boy soldiers gathered one by one into the hall and lined up, each of them wearing cheap armor that sat awkwardly on their frames. They were restless and disorderly, but the supervisory unit watching them from the front was sharp as a blade.
Burgor, the overall commander of the Disciplinary Unit, rolled his neck left and right and waited with calm patience while the boy soldiers found their places. From every corner came the sounds of weapons being handled, armor being adjusted, coughing, and conversation, all of it echoing through the hall. Given a little more time, those noises gradually died down.
In the quiet that followed, Burgor asked,
"You're ready, I take it?"
"Yes, sir!"
The thunderous reply rang through the hall.
We were in the final stages of preparation for Vivian's procession through Loktana. Some of the boy soldiers were full of anticipation at the thought of seeing their families for the first time in a long while. Willas, in particular, had barely slept the night before, fretting over what he would do if he couldn't find his younger siblings.
Burgor spoke.
"As you all know, a procession is scheduled for today. I hope every one of you can get through it without incident. I'm saying this out of an abundance of caution, but don't even think about running during the march. There's nothing easier than tracking down a boy soldier who flees from Loktana. And if we do find you—well, who knows. Lord Allen over there might have to take your head."
Attention swung briefly toward me. A few of them looked at me with fear in their eyes.
But if there was one thing they were mistaken about… I didn't want that either. These were people whose faces I'd come to know over months of living together. There was hardly an experience more unpleasant than cutting off their heads.
To the silent boy soldiers, Burgor continued.
"Even if you get lucky, shake our pursuit, and manage to run, you still won't be able to make a living in Loktana anymore, will you? From here to the next city is a long road, and even if you somehow solve that and arrive, scraping together a meal will be hard. Better to just stay in the Disciplinary Unit."
As if trying to lift the atmosphere that had settled over them, Burgor said,
"Besides, none of you have that long left until your release, right? Martin, how many years do you have left?"
Martin, standing beside me, answered at full volume.
"Five years remaining, sir!"
"Right. Only about five years left like that—just tough it out and leave. You know that once you finish your assigned sentence, the Rondore family offers new options. You can become a Rondore soldier, or if you have talent, even advance as a knight… isn't that so?"
"Yes, sir!"
Burgor nodded.
"Think of it as going to see your family's faces once. Coleman, open the door."
His adjutant Coleman nodded and opened the entrance to the Disciplinary Unit barracks. Cool, fresh air blew in.
Coleman shouted from outside the barracks.
"Form ranks and come out! Move!"
At the same time, Burgor also called out.
"Kailo Allen!"
Attention fixed on me once more. He said,
"You come this way."
I left the unit and headed in a different direction.
Honestly, I had never expected to get through today quietly. Just like when I first arrived in this land, I was going to be tormented. Vivian had even warned me, hadn't she—that she would make me suffer in the near future.
Maybe that was why Vivian had skipped breakfast this morning. Perhaps facing me today was simply too uncomfortable for her.
I followed Coleman toward where Vivian would be. The path was long. Because of today's procession, the atmosphere in the castle was different from usual. When the knights spotted me, they let their hostility show and fell silent; when they didn't notice me, they let their anticipation show instead.
The clash of metal, the heavy resonance of plate and chainmail, spread through Rondore Castle. Their gleaming armor shone with living silver light, and the sun of Rondore was set into it at every turn. The horses stood ready in silence, snorting as they waited for the moment to move forward.
Walking among them was a strange experience. The more I recalled that this was what Rondore had looked like just before battle with my father, the stranger it became. A faint revulsion, a faint loathing, stirred in my chest.
In the distance I could see Baelor. Wearing his helmet with the visor raised, he was issuing orders this way and that with a rigid expression. Around his neck hung six cords like a necklace—the mark every knight aspired to. The cords represented the number of dragons they had slain. Baelor had killed six.
The color of the cords carried meaning as well. They indicated the color of the dragons they had slain. Green, blue, red, and black, in that order, earned recognition—and the most coveted of all was the White Cord. White dragons could only be found in the cold highlands of the north. More vicious than ordinary dragons and twice as large, the honor of slaying one was beyond words. My father had killed one white dragon as well. Doing so had left a great scar across his face.
…In any case, it was a cord I felt I would need someday too. Only then would neither I nor Vivian be looked down upon.
The cords Baelor wore were two green, three red, and one black at the end. Whether it was the scheduled procession or those cords, my perception of him had shifted. I had thought of him as a knight who only knew how to talk and had no idea what loyalty meant. Now I thought of him as a knight whose mouth, at least, was worth something—and who still had no idea what loyalty meant.
The family's retainers were all present as well. Looking more carefully, I found Vivian standing in the gaps between those adults. Her small frame had been hidden by the crowd.
As I approached, people saw me and cleared a path. Vivian came forward. After sharing meals together over the past few days, we had reached a certain level of ease with each other.
"Why did you skip breakfast?"
I challenged her the moment I saw her. After so long trying to eat inside the Disciplinary Unit, the food hadn't sat right in my mouth.
Vivian ignored my question and said,
"Kailo Allen. Today I'm going to give you a chance at penance."
"…I haven't done anything wrong. What penance?"
She gave a slight shake of her head.
"We'll see if you can still say that after touring the territory. You've never looked closely, have you? At how people who lost their fathers—or their husbands—are living…"
"…I've seen roughly."
"This is a chance to see it up close. Look—and I'll make sure you can pay for your sins."
"Is treating me like this not enough already?"
I spread my arms and showed her what I looked like. Vivian glanced at my filthy, hole-riddled clothes and briefly closed her mouth. Her expression was ambiguous enough that for a moment I wondered if her heart had softened.
"…Anyway. You have one task today."
"…?"
"You're going to lead my horse like a coachman. For the entire procession."
"…"
I fell silent at her words. Vivian couldn't quite meet my eyes either.
Unlike my expectation that I'd merely take a few stones, she was trying to humiliate me in earnest. The eldest son of the Allen family, serving the head of Rondore like a servant and marching through the territory. Vivian meant to declare her own position and, at the same time, make mine known to everyone.
I understood… but still.
"…Did that idea come out of your own head?"
I asked her. Vivian hesitated for a moment, then drew a deep breath and glared at me sharply. Then she said, coldly,
"And if it did?"
I took another step closer to her.
"Then I think it might annoy me a little."
Vivian didn't back down.
"That's why I'm doing it."
Anger stirred faintly—but at the same time, a strange sense of relief. I preferred her like this, coming at me hard. Since the poisoning incident, she had clearly developed some steel. It was a good change.
On top of that, Vivian sent some kind of signal to the butler Pipin. Pipin disappeared somewhere and returned with a single helmet. A red helmet, shaped like a bear's head. The bear was our family's animal, and red was the color of Rondore.
"Wear this too. It's the least I can do for you—so you don't get hit by stones."
"…You call this consideration? Wearing this thing is even more humiliating."
"Wear it. From now on, this is the only helmet you'll have in this land. Even when you march out to hunt monsters, you'll have to wear this."
"…"
"You didn't start confusing our relationship just because we shared a few meals, did you?"
I stared at Vivian steadily.
Thinking about it, this was our relationship. Just because I had decided on my own to protect her didn't mean she would start feeling goodwill toward me. I was the strange one. She was normal. So there was no point burning emotion over it here.
"I'm not confused."
I answered.
A few retainers let out thin smirks at the way I was being treated. At the same time, I could feel Vivian's prestige rise, if only by a fraction. Should I take that as a good thing too?
Either way, I clicked my tongue. Then, just as Vivian wanted, I pulled the helmet over my head. While I was putting it on, her expression seemed to twist for a moment. It didn't matter.
Once the helmet was on, I leaned toward her. And I whispered so that only she could hear.
"Go ahead. Torment me more. It's nothing."
The procession proceeded in grand style.
Baelor at the very front cleared the path and led the march, followed by Vivian and the retainers of Rondore. Behind them came the Disciplinary Unit and the remaining knight orders.
The First Knight Order was leading another spectacle of its own: the head of a red dragon. Robert Rondore, Vivian's uncle, had sent it to be used in the procession.
"That's a drake!"
"I heard Lord Robert Rondore slew it…!"
"As expected of Lord Robert!"
Looking at the massive head of the dead dragon with its tongue lolling out, the people grew excited and cheered. But Vivian could not bring herself to feel that happy about it. The one who had sent the gift was her uncle, and the one receiving the cheers was that same uncle, who was not even in this land. As many people cheered Robert's name as cheered Vivian's.
Of course, she had known it would turn out this way. She had known from the moment he sent something so burdensome as a "gift" for the procession. But she couldn't hide the dragon's head in a warehouse either. That would have been spitting squarely on Robert Rondore's goodwill.
And so, at the very front of the procession, cheers for Robert and astonishment at the red dragon's head filled the air. In the middle of the procession, applause elevating Vivian Rondore mixed with resentment, condemnation, and mockery directed at Kailo Allen. At the rear, the clamor of the Disciplinary Unit's boy soldiers reuniting with their families continued.
Vivian exhaled and forced down her tension. Every time people's gazes gathered on her, she felt her shoulders grow heavier. She was looking directly at the faces and circumstances of the people she was responsible for.
She was still young. She had never imagined she would sit in the seat of the family head. But the war with the Allen family had taken everything, and she had no choice but to lead so much.
Walking through the territory, she saw a great deal. Kailo Allen was probably seeing the same things. Even among the cheering crowds, there were things that stood out: children reduced to skin and bone; boys and girls who spat and glared this way with delinquent eyes; old women weeping; houses that had collapsed…
"…You're looking, aren't you?"
Vivian asked Kailo Allen.
"This is our responsibility. I have to take responsibility for these people, and you bear responsibility for things ending up this way."
The red bear-head helmet looked up at her for a moment, then turned forward again as if snorting.
Whish—
Thud!
From somewhere, a piece of spoiled fruit flew and struck Kailo Allen's body. It was an attack executed with extreme care so as not to hit Vivian. But Kailo Allen walked on as if it didn't concern him at all.
Feeling oddly guilty, Vivian said to him,
"Don't feel wronged. Being resented is only natural for you. I completely understand how the people of the territory feel. If I'd had something to throw, I would have thrown it at you too."
Kailo shook his head with a sigh. He said,
"You… get a grip."
"What?"
"Revenge against me is fine, but if you can't seize power, you can't do anything."
He pointed ahead.
"Why did you bring that dragon's head? Robert Rondore this, Robert Rondore that—you're completely buried."
"…"
"Wasn't this your procession? Looking at it now, the main characters seem to be Robert Rondore and me."
Vivian frowned and said,
"…If I ignored Uncle's goodwill, our relationship could completely fall apart. I can't give him even the slightest pretext for conflict."
Thud!
Hit by another piece of fruit, Kailo said flatly,
"Pathetic. The way you look."
Vivian answered, incredulous.
"And the way you look is fine?"
"…"
Kailo Allen stopped dead in his tracks. Naturally, the entire procession halted with him. He turned around. Through the eye slits of the bear helmet, Vivian met Kailo's black eyes.
"You're right. Between the two of us, we must look the most pathetic here."
"…"
Having said that, Kailo started walking again. The self-mocking tone of his whisper lodged strangely in Vivian's heart as well.
Thud! Thud!
Half-rotted fruit kept flying into Kailo Allen's body. She couldn't take her eyes off the way he took the hits without being affected at all. Suddenly realizing she had been staring at him for far too long, Vivian lifted her head.
After circling the territory for a while, Kailo's clothes were covered in stains. Vivian said,
"Kailo Allen. How do you feel after touring the territory?"
"Nothing much."
"…You still don't seem to understand. I'm asking how it feels to see people suffering because of your family."
"…"
Kailo Allen did not answer. Vivian could tell he was feeling something inside. His head kept pausing among the gaunt children and the weeping old women.
Vivian felt the same frustration. Every time she realized these were people she had to care for, reality felt so overwhelming that she took it out on Kailo. But she hated watching Kailo Allen say nothing and pretend it didn't affect him. She wanted to draw a reaction out of him somehow. She was tormenting him, and he was so indifferent that she couldn't even begin to guess how hard it was for him. If he felt the same things, the same way she did, it would ease her heart a little.
"Kailo Allen. You want to go home, don't you?"
So she threw the question at him. Only then did Kailo Allen's head turn to look at her.
"I have no intention of letting you go… but honestly, for it to be fair, I should at least tell you how you can pay for your sins."
"Go on."
"You've been looking all day, haven't you? You're still looking. At Loktana's situation."
Vivian swept her gaze over the people once, then said provocatively,
"If you can earn the forgiveness of every citizen of Loktana… then I'll send you away. Then I'll let you go."
In other words, she would not let him go for any other reason. Because it was impossible.
"…Really?"
But Kailo Allen asked again as if he had found hope in that impossibility. Now it was Vivian who was left speechless.
"…"
Kailo's voice was startlingly earnest. Hope that he could accomplish that impossible thing was woven into it. She couldn't tell whether it was bluster or belief.
Vivian had only meant to mock him, but his serious reaction threw her off balance.
"You think that's possible?"
Thud!
Even as she spoke, another piece of spoiled food struck Kailo's body. There was no reason the attitude of people venting their rage like this would change with time.
Worried she might have planted false hope, Vivian said,
"Get a grip. Can't you see that it's impossible?"
For an instant she even felt a flash of unpleasantness. She had the sense she had touched something she shouldn't have.
"Unless the families they lost come back, there is no path for you to be forgiven."
"…We'll see about that."
Kailo answered.
"I told you—watch how strong I am. If I can't even get over an obstacle like that, what am I good for?"
"…"
As if stamping a seal, Kailo Allen shot back,
"You just keep your promise. You said it. If I get forgiven by all these people, you'll let me go."
"…"
"You're not going to be a coward and change your mind when the time comes, are you?"
There was always a strange force in Kailo Allen's words. The things he said carried a strong sense that they would become reality. Perhaps that belief felt stronger because he was someone who always kept what he said.
But not this time. There was no more need to show consideration to a fool who couldn't understand even when given a hint.
"I won't change my mind. I'll let you go."
So Vivian said to Kailo Allen. Whatever else might happen, this much would never come to pass. Vivian knew it for certain.
Even if a day came when every person watching this procession grew to love him, it would be the same. There was exactly one being who would not forgive him to the very end.
Vivian herself.
The day she forgave Kailo Allen—forgave the Allen family—would never come. The harder life became, the greater her hatred for him would grow.
"…It's a vow, then."
Kailo confirmed.
"I swear. If you can be forgiven by everyone, I'll let you go."
Vivian answered as well. In the voice that spoke those words, there was not the slightest tremor, not the slightest doubt.