An Enemy at the Table
Vivian could not understand herself.
Even the meal laid out with more care than usual could not draw her hand to it. Her fingers would freeze midair and falter, hovering uselessly.
Of course, she had always been a stranger to the word appetite. In that regard, nothing had changed from past to present.
But Vivian had always understood that eating was essential.
That was why, even in the days when she had no appetite at all, she had forced food into her mouth bite by bite.
Today, however, knowing that changed nothing. She could not move.
The dread that poison might be mixed in again left her palms feeling damp with sweat.
She had been lucky last time.
But next time? Was there any guarantee she would survive another attempt?
It was not that she clung desperately to life—but neither was she free of all attachment to it.
The dizziness and agony of being poisoned were experiences she never wanted to live through again.
"Haa."
Vivian finally set down her utensils.
It seemed she truly would not be able to continue the meal today.
Even now the food filled her with a revulsion as if insects had crawled into it, and her stomach churned with rising nausea.
Her body was rejecting the food outright. This was not something willpower could overcome.
"…Clear it all awa—"
—Creak!
At that moment, someone sat down beside her.
At first she thought it might be a maid and flinched in surprise, but she knew who it was before she even lifted her head.
The thick scent of dust, and a faint trace of blood.
It was Kailo Allen's scent.
Sure enough, he was sitting right beside her.
Still growing, he now stood about three finger-joints taller than Vivian.
"You're not going to eat, are you?"
Kailo Allen asked without so much as meeting her eyes.
Vivian looked at him with an expression that mixed surprise and displeasure.
"…What?"
"You're not going to eat, right? You just told the maids to clear it away."
"…"
When Vivian gave no answer, Kailo Allen finally turned his gaze to meet hers.
His expression seemed to ask why she wasn't answering.
She couldn't speak because she was too stunned.
Had she ever imagined someone would sit down beside her?
For the past half year—or longer still—Vivian had never shared a table with anyone.
But Kailo Allen shattered that routine with startling speed. And in a form that was enormously irritating.
Kailo Allen rolled up his sleeves as he spoke.
"If you're going to throw it out anyway, I'll eat it."
He seized a golden-roasted duck leg in a firm grip and tore into it with gusto.
Muttering to himself as he did:
"…How long has it been since I had duck."
"…"
Vivian did not think Kailo was a fool.
He surely knew why she could not eat.
The poisoning attempt had been only a few days ago, and the castle was still in an uproar over it.
Every vassal watched her carefully, smothering her in overprotection.
But Kailo—who had actually helped her—acted as if nothing had happened.
As if he had forgotten that day entirely.
It was so outrageous that Vivian asked,
"You… don't you know why I'm like this?"
"Why does that matter?"
"That duck might also have…"
Before she could finish saying poison in it, Kailo Allen bit into the duck leg.
The meat was so rich with fat that juices ran from his mouth.
"Ah, shit…" he muttered, hurriedly wiping his lips, seeming not to hear a word Vivian said.
In moments he had stripped the duck leg to the bone and kept right on eating.
As he had said, it had clearly been a long time since he'd had meat; his face was full of pure happiness.
Two or three more bites, and even that large duck leg vanished except for the bone.
Yet Kailo Allen did not stop.
Without even fully swallowing the meat, he greedily reached out again.
Next was the breast.
Bones piled up steadily in front of him.
There did not seem to be poison in the meat. If there had been, there was no way he would show no reaction after eating like that.
As she watched him blankly, Kailo grew annoyed instead.
"Go about your business."
"Huh?"
"Why are you still sitting here."
"…"
Vivian let out a hollow laugh.
Did he think she wasn't eating simply because she didn't feel like it?
What gave him the right to be so brazen while stealing her food?
"I don't understand."
But it was Kailo who treated her like a fool first.
"Whether you eat poison or starve to death, isn't it the same? From where I'm standing, starving looks harder."
"You've never eaten poison, so…"
"If you're scared of poison, just have the maids behind you taste it first."
The maids swallowed hard at Kailo's suggestion.
Clear terror rose on their faces.
"…"
It was not that Vivian had never considered the method Kailo proposed. But carrying it out felt far too selfish, and her conscience would not allow it. It was not something a person should do.
A house head who forced her vassals to sacrifice themselves for her could never be a proper house head.
Kailo had probably just said it offhand. From what she could tell, he was not the type to shove his own burdens onto others either.
So she knew full well that the advice just now had only been meant to provoke her.
"Whatever. Do what you want. Fine by me if I eat it all. Been a while since I got to binge."
Kailo kept right on with his provocations.
His hands, glistening with duck grease, seized a soft piece of bread.
He tore into it freely and stuffed it into his mouth.
"…"
…What is this?
Vivian thought.
Watching him quietly, she kept growing more and more irritated.
As he said, it was food she had been about to discard, and it should not have mattered if Kailo ate it… yet she kept thinking the food was going to waste.
"S-stop eating."
Without realizing it, Vivian spoke.
—He froze.
"…"
Kailo also went still for a moment at those words.
His black eyes turned toward Vivian.
Vivian herself was startled by the words that had left her mouth.
But it seemed her opinion had been properly conveyed.
"…"
"…"
…However, Kailo chewed his food as if nothing had happened.
The food diminished with every moment.
Fruit, bread, vegetables, meat, drinks…
As if a beggar had taken residence in his stomach, Kailo absorbed the food without rest.
"S-stop wolfing down my food…!"
Vivian shouted again. This time with a harsher tone.
Honestly, it was not that she hated the food disappearing—it was that the food was filling Kailo's stomach that rankled her.
And with him provoking her on top of it, she was even more annoyed.
"How is this your food? You were going to clear it away."
Kailo's jaw did not rest. He smacked his lips and swallowed the food in the most aggravating way possible.
"I-I never said to clear it away…?"
"Then hurry up and eat, too."
Kailo replied, with an expression that said what kind of woman is this.
"…"
Vivian looked down at the table again.
There was no food left on it that Kailo's hands had not touched.
Which also meant there was no poisoned food.
Suddenly, even as anger rose in her… Vivian found Kailo remarkable.
Did he have no fear at all?
How could he act like that knowing it might be poisoned?
Had he decided that if he was going to die, he would die with a full stomach?
"…"
As she wrestled with her thoughts over the food, she realized the surroundings had gone quiet.
Kailo was now glancing sideways at Vivian.
"Ahem."
When their eyes met, he went right back to greedily chewing his food as if nothing were wrong.
Watching him eat without a scrap of manners, she could almost understand why people called northerners barbarians.
But on the other hand, his hearty appetite put her at ease.
The way he ate so messily, yet so deliciously… faintly stimulated her own appetite.
Where earlier her stomach had churned, now she felt none of that.
Compared to before, the table that was now half a mess felt less repulsive.
Even as her thoughts continued, the food kept dwindling.
Which also meant Kailo Allen's happiness was growing.
She eventually reached out as if pushed.
—Swoosh.
She took hold of the remaining duck leg.
Sounds of the maids being startled again reached her ears.
Just as Kailo had done, Vivian gripped the duck leg and tore into it.
The food, glistening with oil, looked rather appetizing this time.
She could not even remember how long it had been since she had thought such a thing.
Leaving the fork and knife aside, she brought the leg to her mouth the way Kailo had.
Picking up a fork and knife would only remind her of that day and make her feel sick.
So for now, she was acting like Kailo.
Vivian drew a deep breath.
She tried not to think about the time she had swallowed poison.
Steeling herself, she tore off a small bit from the tip of the duck leg and ate it.
"What kind of eating is that."
Kailo clicked his tongue and frowned.
As if he had seen something utterly disgusting.
"In our lands, if you nibble like that, you only get cursed at."
"…"
Irritated by those words, she took a bigger bite of the meat next.
The fragrant aroma of roasted duck filled her mouth.
Only then did Kailo nod.
"Yeah. That's how you eat."
"…"
It was a trivial thing, but she was surprised that his acknowledgment did not feel bad.
How long had it been since someone praised her?
The fact that even her emotions seemed to stir slightly at this made her realize how broken she had become.
Wanting to hide this embarrassing feeling, she chewed the food more diligently.
Vivian chewed and swallowed as if competing with him.
Now that Kailo had tested the food first and cleared away her anxiety, it was certainly easier to get the food down than before.
For a long while, a wordless meal continued between them.
It was a strange feeling.
She disliked eating with Kailo—but a meal that was not alone seemed to awaken emotions she had forgotten.
Kailo, having filled his stomach to capacity, downed a glass of water and finished his meal.
Empty dishes lay scattered across the table.
Vivian had also filled her stomach in her own way.
Busy moving her hands so Kailo would not snatch her food, she found her belly full before she knew it.
Kailo wiped the grease from his hands with a prepared cloth and said casually,
"Let's do this from now on."
"What?"
"I'll come at every mealtime, so prepare my food too."
At the aversion that proposal inspired, Vivian furrowed her brow.
"You want us to eat together from now on?"
But Kailo answered as if it were obvious.
"It's better for both of us this way. You get someone to taste the food first, I get to eat something delicious. We use each other."
Thinking about it, his proposal was not entirely absurd.
Until now, Vivian had been far too exposed to the danger of poison. There was no one who shared her table, and no one who wanted to.
If Kailo could do that for her, it would be like gaining another safeguard.
"…I don't want to."
But what came from Vivian's mouth was habitual hostility.
Even knowing that reason and justification both sided with Kailo, her emotions would not allow it.
"Going to keep starving?"
"…"
And she had no way to refute Kailo's words either.
Unable to do this or that, she bit down hard on her lip.
But the one who made the final decision was Kailo Allen.
He stood from his seat and ordered the maids waiting behind Vivian.
"You heard. From now on, when you prepare meals, prepare mine too."
"…"
Vivian could not tell them to ignore his words.
And so the maids nodded to Kailo as well.
Having filled his stomach, Kailo left without lingering. As he exited the hall, it almost seemed she could hear him belching with a grunt.
"Haa…"
Once he was gone, Vivian slowly lowered her head and rested her forehead against the table.
Her red hair spilled down.
Only after he left did she realize she had been slightly tense in his presence.
Vivian could not believe the silent acceptance she had just given.
To agree to eat with that Kailo Allen from now on.
No matter how justified it was, it made no sense.
Yet she could vaguely sense why she had done it.
Wanting safety was the biggest reason—but there were others as well.
He had already been involved in so many things that his presence felt natural.
They were no longer so awkward that they would push each other away as before.
A kind of bond had formed while fighting the adults around them.
That was why, even knowing that the Allen family was the root of all this, she maintained a strange distance with Kailo Allen.
Because he was the only one who understood her hardship.
Every time living became hard, her hatred for the Allen family only deepened.
The wounds and pain she had received from them continued to weigh heavily on Vivian.
But paradoxically, in her suffering, Vivian kept getting entangled with Kailo Allen.
As if putting on airs, or pretending to be strong… they kept lingering in front of each other, sharing their pain.
"…This can't be."
Unable to suppress her emotions, Vivian closed her eyes in pain and whispered.
She knew all too well that this should not be.
The Allen family was her enemy. Everyone she had loved had died at the hands of the Allen family.
But despite that hatred, she was growing closer and closer to Kailo.
This should not be—yet it was hard to deny that his presence was becoming comforting.
Was that why?
Regarding the prospect of eating with Kailo going forward, Vivian felt this way.
She hated it. Because she would probably fight with him.
She was afraid. Because he would keep poking at her weaknesses and provoking her.
She was disgusted. Because the fact of eating with her enemy did not sit well with her.
…And lastly, just a little, she found herself thinking it might not be as terrible as expected. In that she would not have to eat alone anymore.
These complex emotions threw her into confusion.