Runaway Ninja vs. Yakuza (2)
Fortunately, Muka sang just one song and vanished like the wind.
Encore! If she'd pulled that crap I really would've lost it.
After a solid rest I got up, finished my preparations, and headed straight for the lord's residence with the rest of the party.
Diana was still too young for real combat, so I left her on house-guard duty.
"I'm Joanna Goldon, lord of Goldon. Thank you all so much for coming."
The lord looked to be in her early thirties. I'd heard she was the sole survivor of the Goldon baronial family's civil war, yet she was dressed more like a librarian than a territorial ruler. Dark circles half as bad as Orphe's told me she'd been through hell.
"This is Sir Tren, Goldon's only knight. He commands the troops and serves as my personal escort."
The young man standing beside her like a wooden post gave a short bow. He lacked the distinctive presence of the Iron Crayfish knights or Aileen; clearly a rookie.
"Even briefly, might I hear your introductions? I would like to know the names of those who have come to protect Goldon."
Group-project self-introduction time had begun.
"Free knight Leonard. I came here seeking my final battlefield."
The old man who stepped forward first wore gleaming copper armor that made him look like one of those space fleet admirals you sometimes saw on Earth's subways. Naturally he had to emphasize the "final battlefield" part—clueless old fart. How was that any different from saying we were all going to die?
"I-I see. Thank you, Sir Leonard."
The lord's face darkened in an instant.
"Wandering swordsman Robin. My companions and I have come to defend Goldon."
"You have my deepest thanks, Mr. Robin."
Orphe was about to step up next when a woman in battered armor and helmet beat her to it.
"Adventurer Sayleen. I came here to eliminate criminals. No other reason."
Yakuza Slayer?!?!
For a second I thought I'd shouted it out loud. That was how ridiculously happy I was. Her eyes were hidden by the helmet, but I was certain they burned with pure hatred for the yakuza.
So it wasn't Orphe—Sayleen was the Yakuza Slayer? I felt a tiny bit betrayed. Annoyed for no good reason, I shot Orphe a sideways glare.
"W-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You lied to me."
"Huh?"
I pretended to be disappointed and turned away. Flustered Orphe checked the others' faces, then began her own introduction.
"Adventurer Orphe. I..."
After that I got sleepy and her voice faded out. I only snapped back to reality once the thug family finished their turn.
"Ahem. Everyone, look this way. These are the key figures of the bandit horde threatening Goldon."
Tren spread what looked like wanted posters across the central table of the lord's office. The rookie knight muttered to himself, eyes rolling, then planted a finger on one poster.
"This one's name is 'Vicious' Delbanas. Once a rising star of the Fire Weasel Knight Order, she was expelled for being too savage. Now she leads a band of horse-thieves and is gathering every nearby outlaw to take Goldon."
A vicious-looking woman with an eyepatch over her right eye. Even in a drawing, pure yakuza malice dripped off her. Killing this bitch alone wouldn't be the end of it.
"The second-in-command is 'Strategist' Smith. Former vice-captain of the Gazan Mercenary Corps, apparently."
A completely unremarkable glasses-wearer. Exactly the type of half-smart bastard who always sides with the yakuza and bleeds the common folk dry.
"And this piece of shit is... 'Dog Butcher' Dorn. The band's enforcer. His hobby is beheading people and hanging the heads in the streets. Excellent fighter, extremely dangerous."
A muscular man gripping a battle-axe. Tren ground his teeth at the picture—personal grudge, maybe. Honestly I didn't care what had happened.
Tren kept talking, but the rest didn't sound important, so I spent the time sneaking glances at Sayleen. I needed an opening to talk to her.
"...Those are the dangerous ones."
"I see. I have a question."
Leonard, who had been listening quietly, turned to Tren.
"How many of them are there?"
"...Two hundred fifty. We believe it could be more."
Agwi and Koju dropped to the floor in pure shock.
"What the fuck!"
"We're all dead!"
"Quiet!"
Smack!
They were too loud, so I put them to sleep for a bit.
"Hic?!"
The startled lord made a weird little noise. Bookworm unused to violence, I guess. Well, she'd better get used to it—consider this a demonstration. If you want to be a noblesse-oblige human, you have to get strong.
"Haa... How many combat-ready troops do we have inside the territory?"
Sayleen sighed. Honestly I was curious too. The soldiers I'd seen on the way in hadn't looked numerous. Maybe a hundred?
"...About sixty. Twenty professionally trained, forty volunteers."
Every face in the room hardened. Unicorn clapped both hands over her mouth like she'd just learned virgins were extinct. Being a thug herself, she probably wasn't one either.
Looks like the only answer is a surround-and-annihilate formation.
"So my fate is sealed at last."
Leonard smiled bitterly.
If you're gonna die, die alone, you idiot.
"My lady. This is no mere bandit hunt—this is war."
The reliable Yakuza Slayer began speaking calmly.
"Even uneducated bandits can swing a club. With the castle gate already smashed, a siege will be difficult. We need conscription."
Conscription? Suddenly Gukgeon's face flashed before my eyes. Even as a cover identity, spending two years as a problem soldier is no joke.
"C-conscription? You're saying we throw completely ignorant people into the jaws of death?"
"We can't just leave them to die in ignorance either. And fighting on the battlefield isn't the only way to help. We can have them fell trees, make posts, and reinforce the gate."
The lord knew every word was true; she only sighed without answering.
"That part is my specialty. If my lady is willing, I will help with everything I have."
Finally Leonard said something useful.
"Once the gate is finished, even teaching them to throw rocks will make each one worth a man."
"...Very well. We'll start by rebuilding the gate."
"No! The tree spirit! Nooo!"
A boy's wail rang through Goldon.
Scritch-scritch.
But the young men's merciless sawing never stopped. For peace and safety, adults sometimes have to crush a child's innocence themselves. Paradise is still far away.
"Heave! Ho!"
Thud!
The boy's lime-orange tree toppled.
"Uuuuh... uuuuh... Kyaaaaah! Kyaaaaaaah!"
A bleak world without even a Portuga to soothe him. Unable to bear the wounded pterosaur's cries any longer, a man scooped the boy up and carried him off.
"One more tree and we'll have enough for the gate."
"There's another one over there. Let's use that."
Leonard and Sayleen exchanged remarks while watching the people work. Honestly I was just resting, so it was pure bliss. For some reason I felt zero motivation for simple labor like that. If that tree had been an ancient yokai I would've been the first one charging in.
"How do you plan to train them?"
"I'll teach the healthy young ones how to handle spears. No idea how many weapons the territory still has."
"Sir Tren is coming this way. Let's ask him."
I had no clue what they were talking about. I just played with the thugs. Orphe was listening hard, so it was fine.
"Boss, we're really sorry. We committed a capital crime. Please let us go... my fiancée is waiting..."
"I'm an only son of three generations."
"My grandmother is on her deathbed."
"My mother's very sick."
Every excuse I'd ever heard during group-project presentations.
"They'll all be proud of you. Fight with pride. Or die by my hand."
I shook my head firmly.
"I'm going on recon. Stick close to Orphe. Later."
According to Tren there were spies inside Goldon. First order of business: chop those bastards up with Helicopter Sword Style.
Sayleen looked way too busy to approach, so I needed something else to kill time.
"Barkeep, one beer."
I entered the only tavern that still had any signs of life and sat down. With every able-bodied person pulled into the castle construction, the place was dead quiet.
Shit, how do normal humans even do reconnaissance?
Runaway Ninja Shin Nobin could just barge into any house and tear it apart. But right now I was wandering swordsman Robin—I couldn't move like that. So I sat in the tavern like in the movies, watching people. All I saw were tired-looking aunties and uncles.
I pricked up my ears hoping for suspicious talk.
"Diaper prices have gone way up."
"Is Goldon going to be okay like this?"
"Kids these days, I tell you..."
"The old days were better. Now even if you want to leave, you can't."
Nothing but completely ordinary conversation.
"..."
In the end I sat there zoning out for five whole hours before heading home.
Orphe was scribbling furiously on paper, and the thug family was receiving basic training from Leonard. The mood felt a little weird, but whatever.
On Earth there's a four-character idiom called "flashing lantern." It means the protagonist appears at the end.
I'll pull the weight of a hundred men as a runaway ninja, so it's fine.
Thinking that, I simply waited for dinner.