Maman and the Erlking

"Assistant, are you ready in there?"

"It's just a visit. What is there to prepare?"

Yesterday I had spent the whole day running, and still Teacher Noh caught me and dragged me through a tour of the special examination room. My future was guaranteed, she said. She would keep me and research me for the rest of her life, she said. This was the same Teacher Noh who, after throwing her fit, cracked a can of beer and slept on the laboratory floor.

I am never going under that woman.

"Think it over. How many men in research posts do you suppose exist in the whole world right now? Assistant, you'd be the first."

"Mm... and the pay? The benefits?"

"Oh, money? Don't worry about it. This place is loaded. And you're a man~ The state's going to spoil you rotten."

Not a word of it was easy to believe. All that support, just because a man decided to do something? The common sense I knew didn't match this place, and little by little I was starting to wonder about the world outside.

"And I'll give you Teacher Ryuah."

These days, whenever a crack opened, Teacher Noh swung Teacher Ryuah like a weapon.

"That... I'll think about it."

"You'll come, right? I'm telling Teacher Ryuah. Hm? You really are joining our team, got it?"

We sat in the counseling room trading that idle nonsense. The desk was the same one as the day I first arrived. The only difference was the support staff this time, pressed flat against the wall—or so I assumed. As a rule, I had heard, a visit brought support-team personnel in to prepare for the worst. The manual had been rewritten after an incident a few years back: a female relative with a dependency disorder had locked the door and forced herself on him.

Knock. Knock.

"Sounds like she's here. I'll be right outside, so relax."

Teacher Noh opened the door and stepped out, and from the hall came a brief exchange of greetings. A moment later the door opened again, and a woman I took for my mother stepped carefully inside.

Bewitching.

The white of her hair caught my eye first. Strands like silk spun straight out of winter's pure snow spilled softly over her shoulders. Beneath long lashes, her gaze moved slowly—the unhurried poise of an older woman, nothing less. The beauty mark set beneath the eye I met kept drawing me back to her look, and lent it a strange, sultry heat.

Sway.

A sound I was certain could not have been real. With every step she closed, the full breasts hidden in her clothes swayed: curves so abundant the cloth pulled taut, and against them a waist drawn narrow. A ripe, heavy lushness only a mature woman gives off. The air about her was abundant and soft, like fruit at the height of its ripeness.

In a word—

Maman.

"My boy..."

Unlike her looks, she called me in a voice thick with aegyo. As if she could not hold in her joy at seeing her son after so long, the woman before me spread both arms toward where I sat and leaned her upper body down. With the motion the taut neckline loosened and fell open, and those heavy breasts gathered forward, baring a deep cleft. The moment the flesh, swelling full beneath the slender line of her neck, came into view, my eyes slipped down the curves before I knew it.

It was only a mother's tender gesture, welcoming her son. So why did it look so dangerous?

For an instant I nearly sprang into the arms of an ideal maman. I held the line.

"Physical contact is prohibited in the visitation room."

"Okaaay..."

The beautiful woman sat, left with no other choice.

"Um... Mother. 'Seo Do-hwa'... that is you, isn't it...?"

—tremble, tremble, tremble—

The moment the words ended, a fine tremor rose from the chair beneath me. No—was it the chair shaking, or my body? It felt as if my body were answering, on its own, to a memory I had forgotten.

What is this? Why am I like this?

The shaking grew worse. My fingertips went numb, and my throat cinched itself shut. However I tried to breathe, my lungs felt hollow, and my heart hammered like mad.

Fear the body felt. And yet my mind was perfectly clear.

Thud.

I struck my own chest to stop the trembling. Everyone around me looked startled. I forced the fit down, and said it to myself.

Right now, I am you, and you are me.

The tension eased by degrees, and when my breath came back I spoke to the woman in front of me again.

"Hoo... You are my mother, right?"

At that one line, Mother's face blanched even whiter. She covered her mouth and looked at me with eyes that seemed ready to cry at any moment.

"Inkyu... you're not running, even with a woman right in front of you...?"

A short silence settled over the counseling room.

All but one person.

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

"So the memories don't come back, even seeing family... Ahem."

All but Teacher Noh.

The first conversation with Mother was warm and easy. Unlike that cold first impression, she smiled softly and told me this and that. This body was not so different from the me I knew, and the foods I liked, the hobbies—all of it matched. Only the fear of women. That alone set the present me apart from who I had been.

"Whoa... I really filed a report on you? To that extent?"

"Mm. Even so, I was so sorry back then."

The whole story behind the domestic-violence report was, in truth, nothing. She had seen her son come out of his room and, glad of it, taken him by the shoulder, and on the spot I had reported her for violence. The me of now found that hard to understand, but when I remembered the reaction this body had just shown, I couldn't simply laugh it off. To the original owner of this body, even that touch must have been a terror he could not endure.

Man, I was a total disgrace of a son, wasn't I?

Maman, then from now on I'll be a good son!

"Um, Mom."

"Mom...?"

"Ah, is Mother better? I can't quite remember what I used to call you..."

"Hm? No, Mom is right! Call me Mom~!"

A faint blush had risen, and Mom's words came out in a rush.

What is this? This gap moe?

I think I'm about to develop a serious mother complex...

Ah... snap out of it.

A mother and son aren't like that.

"Um, would it be all right if I went home?"

At that one sentence, everything in the room stopped.

The five members of the support team, who had been gazing fondly on the warm talk between mother and son. Teacher Noh, writing something down outside the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠door. And the Maman right in front of me.

What is that.

For an instant the cold winter behind Maman passed, and the warm light of spring came leaking through. At first I thought I had seen it wrong.

Ah. Mother. So you really were Mother.

Like the Holy Mother cradling the infant Jesus, a merciful halo poured out from behind her.

A mother's unconditional love, nothing less.

At the corner of Mom's eye, where she was forcing a smile, a small tear gathered and shone.

I made up my mind.

This was not where I belonged. The place where my family was waiting. The home where the original me was supposed to be.

I'm going back...!

Just as I finally understood where I was meant to be, something else began to sound in my ear.

Oh... this is...

A piano, fast and urgent. Someone was coming.

Beyond the counseling-room window, Teacher Noh was glaring at me. Her dark-crimson rage shimmered, the look of a woman who had just lost prey she had barely gotten her hands on.

Bang!

In the end the Erlking, unable to hold it in, flung the door open and came through.

"No."

"No what?"

"The discharge."

Teacher Noh's voice was flat and final. Nothing like the person who, before the visit, had rattled off nonsense about assistants and handing over Teacher Ryuah.

"There was a clear panic response just now. Self-harming behavior followed it, too."

Self-harm. All I had done was strike my chest once, and the thing had gotten entirely too big.

"Teacher, that was by my own will..."

"Inkyu. A sound mind doesn't mean the body is sound."

Teacher Noh narrowed her eyes at me.

"Memory loss. Changes in personality and in patterns of behavior, on top of that. Inkyu, do you really think your condition right now is normal?"

Reactions that were nothing like a man of this world were already more than enough to raise suspicion. And besides.

"A report came in from that house, so yes, it's a problem."

At those words, Mom's shoulders flinched. The woman who had looked ready to pull me into her arms at any moment bowed her head and clutched only the hem of her skirt.

"...You're right."

The voice leaked out with no strength in it.

"I was careless. I was just so glad Inkyu had come outside... I put my hands on him without permission."

She seemed to mean the one time she had taken him by the shoulder.

"Seeing his face today is enough."

Do-hwa gave a bitter smile.

"I've confirmed he's all right, and he looks healthier than before... so this alone is fine."

Contrary to the words, her eyes were full of tears that looked ready to fall at any second.

"If Inkyu is afraid of me, I'll wait. Until it's all right for us to meet again."

Mom turned her back on me.

In that moment a strange ache spread through one side of my chest, and an emotion I could not explain surged up. Not fear—guilt, toward family who had waited a long time outside the door. Maybe this, too, was not mine, but a feeling the previous Inkyu had left behind.

I stood and followed after Mom, and carefully took her hand.

Grab.

"...Huh?"

The moment our hands met, those amber-brown eyes shook wide. As if a strange sensation born at her fingertips had raced through her whole body at once, Mom's body flinched, and her slender knees nearly folded, strengthless. But she did not fall. As if afraid that the slightest pressure would make me draw away again, she even held her breath and entrusted her hand to mine. I felt the fingers go rigid inside my grip.

At the same time my heart began to pound hard again.

Run.

Dangerous.

Let go of that hand. Right now.

A fear that was not mine screamed inside me, but even so, I did not let go.

"It's still trembling a little."

After steadying my breath, I looked at Teacher Noh without releasing Do-hwa's hand.

"My body being afraid, and my wanting to go home—those are two different things."

Warmth spread, little by little, from our joined hands.

"Isn't there some way, Teacher Noh?"

Teacher Noh looked back and forth between our clasped hands with a displeased face. Then, with a deep sigh, she drew out a fresh set of papers.

"We'll process it as a conditional discharge."

"What are the conditions?"

"A health report every day. Visits to the Center twice a week. Immediate return if an abnormal reaction occurs."

Teacher Noh turned the pages one by one.

"And during the adjustment period, a Dedicated Male Protector designated by the Center will accompany the household. At the protector's judgment, outings and physical contact can be restricted as well."

Accompany the household?

Don't tell me Teacher Noh was following us all the way home.

I looked at her with an uneasy heart, and the corner of Teacher Noh's mouth climbed in a wicked little hook.

"Teacher Ryuah, come in."

Teacher Ryuah, who had been waiting outside, leaned her face in as if she had been waiting for exactly this. The same gentle smile as always. And yet, for some reason, one hand held an enormous travel bag.

No way.

She must have packed in a hurry. The bag wasn't even properly closed, and Ryuah's clothes spilled from the gap: black lace underwear, peach-colored stockings, the thin straps of a garter belt. And a nightgown so sheer it was embarrassing to call it cloth.

Teacher Ryuah? You are coming as the protector, right?

"Hello, Mother."

Teacher Ryuah bent neatly at the waist.

"Honey... no, I mean—I am Ryuah. I've been assigned as Inkyu's temporary Dedicated Male Protector."

Do-hwa's eyes traveled slowly to the travel bag.

"...Until when is 'temporary'?"

"Until Inkyu is judged safe to live together with a woman."

"Live together?"

The two women's gazes met in the empty air. On one side, a mother who had gotten her son back. On the other, a protector who had already finished preparing to follow the man she had barely gotten her hands on. Both of them were clearly smiling. And yet, strangely, the air in the room had grown far colder than a moment ago.

Watching them, Teacher Noh nodded in satisfaction.

"See? You should've just come under me."

That one small line from Teacher Noh.

Ah.

So that was why?

Under white, cold fluorescent lights, only two people sit in the narrow interrogation room: the investigator, and Seo Do-hwa.

"Regarding this incident, there doesn't seem to be anything that would pose a serious problem."

"Is there any news about my son...?"

She has kept a sleepless vigil through the night, sick with worry for him.

"I was only told that he's still asleep. For the details, you'll want to contact the Men's Protection Center."

"Yes... thank you."

"Get home safe~"

The investigation into the domestic-violence report finished, Seo Do-hwa comes out of the police station. Right now, crushed under severe depression and stress, she does not even have the will to live.

"I'm sorry... my boy..."

She sniffles on the way home. In one hand she carries a shopping basket. Five bottles of soju, and a single can of beer.

"I'm going to drink and die... I want to see my son... I'm sorry... waaah... my boy..."

She comes home and tosses her outdoor clothes aside without care. As if speaking for her sunken heart, every light in the house is off, drawing the place down into darkness.

Squelch. Squelch. Squelch.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. · · ·"

Seo Do-hwa lies on the floor, frantically masturbating out an apology. She has been at it so long the whole floor is soaked. She must not come. This is not an act for pleasure. It is penance, offered up to the son who has yet to wake. But every time his beloved face rises ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in her mind, her body climaxes however it pleases.

"Nn... ah... ♥ I came again... I'm sorry, son... I'll start over from the beginning... ♥"

A state of cleanliness that can no longer be called a house. A space where trash and stench are stirred together. From somewhere, the sound of someone sobbing.

"You said you'd marry Mom. I'd be happy just glimpsing your face now and then, so why did you leave my side..."

".........Why!"

She mutters it at a photograph of her son as a child.

"The son I bore through pain. My own child. I won't give you to anyone. I'll kill them all!"

"The Men's Protection Center. As if I know what they'll do to him in that den of sows!"

"No... no, that's not it... Inkyu didn't leave. Those bitches must have sweet-talked him into it..."

Grrind.

The sound of teeth grinding, choked with spite.

"Absolutely not... my baby... come back to Mommy, won't you?"

"Hmm-hmm~ mm-hm~♬"

Do-hwa hums as she cleans the house. Only a little while ago she heard from the Men's Protection Center that her son had requested a visit, and with that she has returned to the shape of a mother.

"Perfect~ perfect~"

The den, which had been sinking under darkness, has transformed once more into something bright and lovely. Warm. Overflowing with love.

"Hmm... which outfit would be good...?"

"Still, it's been a while since I've seen my son, so something a little flashy?"

"No, maybe I'll go with a cozy impression~"

· · · · ·

Whatever thought has just passed through her, the light slowly drains from eyes that had been dripping honey.

"No."

I ought to put those sow-bitches in their place before they start.

Creeeak...

She opens the door ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of the dressing room and goes all the way to the back.

"A mother—but like a lover."

You know the feeling.