Permission to Retire
Stepping down as a patron.
Ordinarily, it might not have been such a great matter. Having several patrons was common enough. But for me to resign as Princess Roana’s patron carried enormous weight. She seemed to grasp the significance as well; her face drained of color.
“Y-you’re… you’re serious?”
Among the emperor’s children, Roana was the only one born not to the empress but to a low-ranking concubine. The lowliest of the princesses, without any solid base of support—the sole reason she had come this far was me. Even the increase in her patrons had less to do with her own future than with people seeking any means of drawing close to me.
“No. Don’t do this. Wh-what made you so angry? Did someone look down on you? Did someone belittle you for being a commoner? No—wait. Did someone dismiss the War Hero as a braggart?”
She stammered as she tried to cling to me, still fixating only on my background as she guessed at the cause. To think I had once worked to place this woman on the throne as empress. No—perhaps I was the one who had made her this way. It was so absurd I wanted to laugh at my past self.
Without a word I pointed at several spots on the floor—the belongings she had knocked from my bag in her attempt to stop me, now scattered across the room.
“Is it because they’re dirty? I’ll buy you new ones.”
I was truly speechless. Not the slightest apology, not even a gesture of picking them up again. She had no idea what those discarded belongings meant to me. Among them were clothes and tools gifted by comrades who had lived and died under this roof. The memories of brothers-in-arms who had shed blood with me were woven into every piece. To me they were treasures more precious than money, irreplaceable mementos. And what? Just buy new ones?
“That won’t be necessary. It’s already too late to take anything back.”
I was exhausted by a woman who would not even ask what it meant. Leaving Roana trembling violently at my unyielding resolve, I saw Metis standing quietly in a corner of the room, head bowed.
“Sorry you had to see that.”
To show such a scene to my subordinate. As a superior I was thoroughly disqualified. I moved to leave in silence when Roana suddenly blocked my path.
“Do you think this makes any sense? We’re going to my father right now.”
With her slender hands she seized my arm and dragged me roughly along.
“Fine. You can stop being my patron. I can’t ride on Beren’s coattails forever either. But don’t say you’re retiring.”
Tears even began to show as she realized my words were a weighty decision that could not be easily reversed.
“I know you’ve had too much work lately. The responsibility must be crushing. Even without war, people from every direction keep calling for you. Why not take a leave of absence? Rest a little and your mind will come back around.”
She seemed desperate for me at least to drop the talk of retirement, and she must have judged that the emperor would talk me out of it.
“Very well.”
“Father! What are you saying?!”
A cry of pure desperation, almost a scream. Roana had clung to my arm all the way into the emperor’s presence for fear I might flee. The words that came from there struck her like a bolt from the blue.
“General Beren wishes to retire from imperial service, does he not? He has rendered more than enough service to the nation. Allowing him to rest is hardly a bad thing.”
The emperor propped his chin on his hand in annoyance and waved a dismissive hand.
“Father!”
Even Roana’s urgent cry earned only another lazy wave.
“As it happens, strange rumors have been circulating through the palace of late, and they have put me in a foul mood.”
The emperor glanced at me. Rumors involving me, apparently—ones that could sour the emperor’s temper. Thinking carefully, I recalled hearing something around this time through Metis. That the War Hero coveted the throne, or some such nonsense…
“Surely Your Majesty doesn’t truly believe that?”
Roana cut him off as if the idea were not even worth considering.
“Who can say? A position like this—ambition can seize a man quite suddenly.”
The emperor’s brows furrowed, deepening the wrinkles.
“Besides, there is no longer any real need for war. Most nations have already signaled their submission to our empire.”
He no longer bothered to hide his displeasure.
“And when I walk the palace halls, it sometimes seems people prefer the War Hero Beren to me…”
“Father!”
Roana finally lost her temper.
“This man has protected me since I was a child! I can handle things well enough that such a thing would never happen!”
She was speaking in my defense. But I too felt my loyalty toward the emperor cooling rapidly. Had the emperor of the past actually believed that absurd rumor? Then why had I fought all this time, earning the title of War Hero? That title meant nothing to me. As a child I had simply fought to survive. As I grew older, for the friends and soldiers who trusted and followed me. I would not deny that a desire for power and glory had also taken root in one corner of my heart. But never once had my loyalty wavered. It was not those below who had wavered, but those above.
I looked at the suspicion filling the emperor’s eyes. Discarding the hunting dog once the rabbits are caught—was that it? A War Hero grown too powerful was nothing but a threat. Perhaps the absence of any helping hand when I was dying had been due to the emperor’s influence. The empire’s affection for me had already long since cooled, but thanks to the emperor even my final lingering attachment vanished.
“I understand.”
“I’ll take care of the loose ends myself. You need only pack what you need and leave.”
A consideration that was no consideration at all. I bowed my head and turned away. This time even Roana could not stop me. She lacked the power to defy an imperial command. It was the moment she plummeted from potential heir to power into mere prey.
“Aaaaaaah!!!”
Leaving behind Roana, who could not seize me and could only scream herself hoarse, I returned to my room.
Word that the emperor had granted my retirement spread swiftly. Those who had even a passing acquaintance with me came to pay their respects.
“This is an outrage!”
Among them were those who refused to accept my retirement. General Krasis, who had fought beside me across the northern battlefields, stormed into the room and slammed his fist down on a nearby table with a crash.
“Even His Majesty the Emperor cannot behave with such ingratitude!”
The table bore a clear imprint of the blow, and the general—true to the fiery temperament of a northerner—could not contain his rage.
“How much blood have we spilled?! Was it not all sacrificed for the sake of the nation?! And now the general who stands as our representative is retiring?!”
He pounded his chest in frustration; the metal of his armor rang with a sharp, clanging sound.
“Dozens of generals are ready to retire with him as things stand! This simply cannot be allowed!”
“Please calm yourself. I chose this of my own will.”
“A man who was perfectly fine until a few days ago does not suddenly start talking about retirement!”
I barely managed to soothe the general, who was raising a ruckus about lodging an official protest, and send him away. Then the nobles of the inner palace came swarming in a pack.
“We beg your pardon, but might you reconsider your retirement?”
When the Minister of the Imperial Household bowed politely, the dozen or so nobles behind him bowed as one. I had left all palace affairs entirely in Metis’s hands. When I glanced at him beside me, he shook his head as if to say there was nothing to be done this time. I had never wanted to get entangled in political matters for fear of the sparks flying my way.
“His Majesty has already decided. I must abide by that decision as well.”
“If Lord Beren withdraws like this, we anticipate grave difficulties in implementing palace policy.”
I knew well that of the empire’s three pillars, I alone had stood firmly on the empire’s side, and that many policies had been pushed through under my name. Most of them had been rammed through on the strength of the War Hero’s reputation alone.
“Will His Majesty not handle everything himself?”
Yet our emperor, rather than realizing the politics currently in place, had granted my retirement out of baseless fear.
“It is blasphemous to say so, but His Majesty is advanced in years and his judgment is occasionally clouded…”
“Hold your tongue!”
When one of the nobles behind him ventured a veiled criticism of the emperor, the Minister of the Imperial Household flared in anger. The noble hastily retracted his words.
“In any case, we would be most grateful if you would reconsider once more.”
Judging that further speech would only expose their shame, they withdrew. It seemed my retirement would create considerable difficulties here as well.
“Not my problem anymore.”
An empire stripped of the renown and name I had cast aside. I was curious to see how it would change from now on. After the storm had passed and the room fell quiet again, I had packed everything and thought all that remained was to go home.
“Are you truly retiring?”
A voice like soft raindrops. So she had come after all. I had tried to forget her, to leave her out of my memory, but in the end she had sought me out first. When I turned, a woman in ordinary commoner’s clothes leaned against the doorframe. Yet anyone who knew her identity could never dismiss her. A being revered by all. It was Sera, the Saintess.
I stopped Metis, who was hastily preparing to offer formal greetings, and told him to leave us. Once we were alone, a silence utterly different from the earlier clamor settled over the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me beforehand? We don’t keep secrets from each other.”
She was the first to speak, sounding hurt. Is that so. In this past timeline, it was still like that. But I already knew. Her love for me had already begun to cool after I returned from the north. It had become almost laughable that we had once promised to marry.
I met the Saintess’s gaze. Even in simple clothes, her appearance shone with a beauty that seemed blessed by the gods, yet that light no longer reached me as brilliantly as before. Still, since she had shown the courtesy of coming this far, I ought to show her the courtesy due in return.
“Sera. I am breaking off our engagement.”