Chapter 93
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 93
Chapter Title: Magical Safety Education (2)
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The reaction was immediate.
When I tossed the unconscious Magical Captain magical girl into the fire, the flames died down a bit, unlike before.
"Kim Siyul, you fucking bastard!!!"
The Magical Captain magical girl spewed curses at me the instant she regained consciousness. That was immediate too.
Anyway.
It was exactly as taught in safety training.
Who would've thought it'd be this effective?
It really drove home the importance of safety education.
As I watched her thrash about with a satisfied smile,
Whitey suddenly spoke up.
"Hey."
"What."
"Why'd you suddenly throw the Magical Lieutenant into the fire?"
As expected of a dog like Whitey. No matter how much you teach her, there are limits. She was so dumb she couldn't fully grasp the lesson.
Well, nothing to be done about it.
Guess I'd have to explain it myself this time.
I'm the Hero, after all.
"Listen up. Earlier, the Captain said that if a fire breaks out, you should put it out early with water, right?"
"Yeah, I remember that."
"And humans are 70% water."
Rounded up, humans are basically water.
So the Captain is water too.
"That's why you throw the Captain into the fire."
"Aha!"
Once I explained, Whitey got it right away.
Teaching felt rewarding. No wonder the Magical Captain magical girl had been so enthusiastic earlier.
That's when Squiddy piped up.
"But even if it's 70% water by body size, that's not much, right?"
"Simple. If that's not enough, you just throw in a few more people."
That's why we needed a battalion commander.
What a shame.
Right then, the Captain convulsed and screamed. Completely engulfed in flames, she could barely move, let alone stand.
"You crazy fuck! That doesn't mean you throw people in!"
"I threw a human in. Not a person."
I smiled and continued.
"Besides, it wasn't random. I was just fulfilling the Captain's dream by following a poem from a famous comic book."
"What fucking Magical Poem!!!"
The Captain raised her voice.
I smiled even brighter.
"Don't live as a lieutenant. Die as a captain."
Die and get a one-rank promotion. Even trash like the Captain could finally wear captain's bars.
The moment her dream came true.
"What the hell are you saying, you dog bastard!!!!"
Well, the Captain herself didn't seem to get it.
Anyway.
The temporary fix was done, but the situation was still dire. The entrance was blocked by the fire shutter, and we hadn't fully extinguished the blaze.
At least the windows were open, so no immediate suffocation risk. But holding out like this was only a matter of time. Honestly, it felt hopeless.
"Alright, you two. Rock-paper-scissors. Loser goes in to put out the fire."
"Your brain broken, you dog fuck?"
"Why are you sitting it out? Wanna die?"
Right then, two puzzled voices came from the other side of the fire shutter.
"Sora, why's this closed?"
"Huh? It wasn't like this earlier."
It was Rez and Sora.
The moment Sora's voice hit, Whitey frantically cried for help.
"Sora! Help! Help!"
"Sis?! What's wrong?!"
"Magical gas explosion inside! We're trapped! Can't escape!"
"No way... There should be a magical emergency exit here... Nope. It's installed backward. The magical emergency exit is completely reversed."
Sora muttered to herself, sounding convinced, then spoke to Whitey again.
"Got it anyway! Hold on! Transform!"
She must've brought her magic wand. Sora transformed right outside the door.
Moments later, the fire shutter budged slightly. Sora peeked her head through the gap, probably checking the situation inside.
"Oh."
Sora judged quickly.
"I'll handle it right now!"
With that, Sora flung open the fire shutter and cast her spell.
"Be an ember."
⟨ Ember ⟩
Blue flames scattered, devouring the fire. Specifically, only the flames in a straight line from the lounge entrance to us.
A fierce heat wave blew through.
Enough to make me instinctively close my eyes for a moment.
Soon enough, the menacing flames that had been roaring moments ago were reduced to quiet blue embers.
"Targeting everything might cause too much magical backlash, so I did it this way!"
Flames still lingered around, but thanks to Sora, we at least had an escape route.
Surprisingly, Sora didn't cast the same spell on the burning Magical Captain magical girl. She seemed to hold back deliberately.
Makes sense. From what I saw, it looked like a spell that smothered with stronger flames.
Right then, Sora urged us urgently.
"This should be safe to exit now, right? Hurry, come out!"
At her words, we bolted out of the lounge.
Of course, we left the Magical Captain magical girl behind. She was burning herself up to become a captain—how could we dare stop her noble intent?
But Rez didn't.
The moment we exited, Rez headed toward the lounge instead.
Without even transforming.
"Hey, you crazy Rez bitch. Where you going?"
"Where else? To put out the fire. And save the Magical Captain."
Reckless.
Truly reckless.
Magical girls aren't invincible. Especially untransformed. She could end up like the Captain if she's not careful.
Yet Rez chose to advance.
"Rez, you sure about this?"
To my question, Rez just grinned without breaking stride.
"Of course."
The sight of Rez striding confidently toward the inferno...
"A woman who's always wet wouldn't fear a little fire, right?"
Was the back of a true magical girl.
In the end, the fire was completely extinguished.
The Magical Captain magical girl didn't become a captain either.
All thanks to Rez.
"Haa...! N-no more... pleaaase...!"
Well, her method of dousing was a bit crude.
Anyway.
Honestly, I'd always seen Rez as useless.
Her name fit perfectly: a no-use thing.
But after today, I changed my mind a bit.
Rez, who seemed utterly useless, proved otherwise.
She stopped the fire perfectly.
Literally, the water of no use.
In other words, using her "uselessness."
Today, Rez showed us a real magical girl.
This fire was entirely the Magical Captain magical girl's fault, but surprisingly, she faced no punishment.
Probably swept under the rug by the higher-ups since it happened during training.
Still, there were some changes.
The Magical PX reopened recently, but cigarettes were banned from sale. The incident started from smoking.
Of course, it didn't last.
About a week and change, tops.
Trading smuggled smokes at a premium became common, and some even rolled their own.
Plus, higher-ranking magical girls threatened to sell cigs themselves.
Banning cigarettes was impossible.
Never was, really.
Anyway.
Today, the magical girls were peaceful as ever.
Today, Sora went on leave.
"Sis, see you outside! I'll match the reservation!"
"Yeah! Sora! See you!"
Nothing surprising.
Leaves are meant to be taken when due, right?
Hmm, meeting up outside with Sora... They must've synced their leaves on purpose.
Which meant Whitey's leave wasn't far off either.
I wasn't the only one thinking that—Rez pointed it out right then.
"Hetero doggo, pumped for your leave soon?"
"Yeah! Hope leave day comes soon!"
Whitey nodded vigorously.
Confirmed my hunch.
"When was it again? Slipped my mind."
"Just a bit more waiting! It's this day!"
The date Whitey pointed to on the calendar was way sooner than I thought.
"Oh, right. Still a ways off, but it'll fly by waiting."
"Exactly! So happy!"
Well, no wonder she was reacting like that.
Leaves always bring excitement, don't they?
Seeing Whitey so purely joyful made me smile faintly without thinking.
Right then, Squiddy suddenly addressed me.
"Oh, even you like the inferior retriever's smile?"
"Huh?"
Similar thoughts, huh? Squiddy had a fresh smile on her face too.
That was unexpected.
Didn't she and Whitey completely clash?
"Squiddy, don't you dislike her?"
"Not exactly close, but her smile's so puppy-like, it warms the heart."
"Yeah, fair."
True enough.
Whitey's look right now was just like a dog hearing walkies time.
"But your magical girl name's Black Kitty, right? Cats hate dogs."
"I like all magical animals. Dogs included, naturally."
"Oh, yeah?"
Squiddy really was a devout Buddhist. Buddhism cherishes all animals except mosquitoes, even bodhisattva-style sometimes.
Her words cause misunderstandings, but this time, it's safe to see her as one.
"Favorite dog breed?"
"Magical Shepherd, obviously. If I had one, I'd name it 'Blondie.'"
"......"
But this bitch keeps misleading.
Can't let my guard down in conversations.
Anyway.
Days passed like that, but Whitey's behavior stayed the same.
Grinning dopily, then spacing out, mumbling quietly, bowing her head with clenched fists, then back to grinning.
From the day she told us about her leave...
To today, just days away.
So I didn't notice.
"Hey, your leave's in a few days? Lucky."
"No. Mine got canceled."
"What the fuck. Bullshit."
That Whitey's leave had been cut.