Chapter 110
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 110
Chapter Title: Mascot Unit (1)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Alright, everyone, pay attention."
The Magical Girls' gazes converged on the ranking officer standing up front.
"I'm Magical Second Lieutenant Park Yujin from the Mascot Unit, in charge of escorting you Magical Girls today. Nice to meet you."
The place we were currently at was the Mascot Unit.
Just as the name suggested, it was a unit dedicated to gathering and managing mascots. If I had to compare it to the military, it'd be something like a large-scale K-9 company.
Two questions popped into my head here.
"By the way, Sora, why do mascots live separately from Magical Girls if they're mascots?"
The first question.
Why on earth did mascots live apart?
To Magical Girls, mascots were special beings.
They were partners, comrades who leaned on each other to overcome hardships and trials, fighting side by side.
So, was it right to separate them?
Come to think of it, even though I lived among Magical Girls every day, the number of times I'd actually seen a mascot could be counted on one hand.
Once during the initial physical exam.
Once during the Magical major criminal arrest.
And most recently, once during the Magical invocation.
At best, just three times.
At this point, could I even say I was living with Magical Girls? Not that calling these lunatics Magical Girls was entirely accurate in the first place.
"Well, mascots don't really help much in combat. And from a Magical efficiency standpoint, it's better to manage them separately."
Sora's explanation made a certain degree of sense.
If they weren't helpful in battle, it was far better to keep them apart. Traveling together haphazardly would just create variables—mostly bad ones.
"So, living together is impossible?"
"They said you could go through the Magical checkout procedure, but it's a long and complicated process. Might as well just visit the mascots or have them come visit us instead."
"Checkout procedure? So they treat mascots like objects?"
"It wasn't always like that, but some Magical Girls dragged their mascots to places advertising 'child accompaniment Magical perks' and demanded benefits. That's how it solidified into treating them that way."
"Ah."
I could sort of picture it.
Before I got dragged to this otherworld, some people would book hotels registering 'one child' but bring pets instead, causing all sorts of issues.
This was probably the same context. The difference being that animals were treated as property from the start.
It felt a bit off that mascots, who had personalities unlike regular animals, were treated as property, but I couldn't say I didn't get it.
No way grad students had human rights, let alone some mascot.
"Then those Shooting Star Magical Girls must've gone through the full checkout procedure?"
"Ah, high-ranking officers are exempt."
Of course, rank came with privileges.
Not that it was strange. Even during my military service, some generals wandered around with their pet dogs, rules be damned.
Of course, I hated it. Those bastards made me suffer plenty.
Anyway.
Magical Girls were probably no different.
Military or Magical Girls, rank was law.
That resolved my question about why the Mascot Unit existed.
But.
"Sora."
"Yes, sunbae?"
One question remained unanswered.
"So, what's the deal with this animal education class and mascots?"
The ranking Magical Girl up front was explaining general animal facts, not anything mascot-related.
Characteristics of animals, precautions, and so on.
It had zero relevance to mascots, no matter how you sliced it.
"It's still useful info, right? And it's not totally unrelated anyway."
Les backed up Sora's opinion here.
"Hetero, Sora's right. I learned today that rabbits ovulate during pregnancy—it's this Magical dual-view impregnation combo thing."
"Sora, you really think this lecture's useful even after hearing that from this lunatic?"
"...Sorry."
Well, backing her up didn't mean it was in the right direction.
Anyway.
I just couldn't wrap my head around why we were suddenly getting animal trivia out of nowhere.
"If you see wild hedgehogs, they sometimes have fruit stuck on their spines."
Maybe that's why.
I started dozing off without realizing it.
"In that case, you there—the male Magical Girl. Let's do a quick Magical quiz."
At the voice calling me, I snapped awake.
"Ah, me? Sure."
"So, how do hedgehogs eat?"
How do they eat?
"Gut 'em and roast over fire, but they stink bad, so best avoid if you can."
"Uh... I meant the fruit stuck on the spines."
"Ah."
The ranking Magical Girl's face stiffened as she awkwardly wrapped up the explanation.
"Um, the answer is they don't eat it. Hedgehogs mainly eat insects, not fruit. It actually hinders their daily life, so if you see one with fruit on its spines, please help out."
That was unexpected.
I vaguely remembered reading that hedgehogs used their spines to steal cucumbers or fruit, but apparently that wasn't true.
"Um... uh... Siyul."
"Yeah?"
That's when Whitey spoke up.
"You really ate hedgehog?"
"Yeah. Tried it in the otherworld."
In the otherworld, I ate 'anything' to survive. Hedgehog was a given. Tasted awful, though.
Meanwhile, Whitey didn't grill me about mentioning the otherworld like before.
Instead, she looked a bit horrified.
"Then... dog meat too?"
"No way."
I shook my head vigorously.
This I could say for sure. No matter what I scarfed down to survive in the otherworld, dog meat was off-limits.
"Really? Surprising. Figured if you ate hedgehog, you'd eaten dog too."
"No Lineage or Hoyeon in the otherworld."
"Oh, that dog meat?"
There weren't even electronics in the otherworld—what dog meat? Not that I'd touch it here either.
Anyway.
"Alright, that's the end of Magical education."
After what felt like forever, the ranking Magical Girl's long-winded lecture finally wrapped up.
"Now, let's take a short Magical break."
Sighs of relief echoed around the room the moment she said it. Even these physically elite Magical Girls seemed mentally drained.
Meanwhile, our dorm crew started chatting about the animal lesson.
"Cuckoos are unforgivable. Flying 24,000 km from East Africa to lay eggs in another bird's nest in Korea, then flying back. Truly vile creatures."
"Taishi, think different. NTR is just behavior etched into their Magical genes. It's one of nature's Magical laws."
"Then Black guys from Africa NTR-ing is also a Magical natural rule?"
"Way you say it makes Black people sound genetically flawed."
It was conversation in name only—just nonsense.
Especially Whitey's comments.
Well, expected from Magical Girls, who were far from normal anyway.
"Hey, Hetero."
That's when quiet Les spoke up.
"What?"
"Didn't she say earlier you wrap the Magical smartwatch around animals' tongues to check heart rate?"
Something like that, yeah.
Animals' structures differ from humans, so you wrap it on the tongue for heart rate. I was half-asleep, but probably right.
"Think so. Why?"
"Wonder if it works on people the same way."
"Since it's just measuring heart rate, wrapping on the tongue should work fine."
Not like it'd fail completely.
Just more hassle than the wrist.
Didn't expect Les to be curious about this. She had some experimental spirit, huh.
"No, I mean on the clit."
"...Don't ask shit like that, please."
Correction. This bitch was just insane.
Couldn't let my guard down.
"Ha?! You done talking, bitch?!"
That's when Octopus's bellow rang out.
I turned to see what was up, and there she was, glaring daggers at Sora.
"You said NTR is a Magical law of nature? Spouting such Magical bullshit!"
Her eyes were bloodshot—she was pissed.
No clue why, though.
"So half-breed inferiors NTR-ing a girl's Magical base is also a natural Magical law?!"
And Sora didn't brush it off gently like usual?
Not this time.
She fired back point by point.
Like there was something she absolutely wouldn't yield on.
"I've never NTR-ed anyone. I just satisfied an instrument as a Magical performer."
Hell, Sora smirked openly at Taishi now.
"Honestly, aren't you embarrassed, Taishi? Playing with those pathetic fingers. That's grounds for losing your Magical performer license."
For some reason, I swear I heard a frivolous 'uwwwww' laugh.
Sora's Japanese, so maybe that's her style. She didn't actually say it, though.
"Still, thanks to you, I got some Magical boredom relief. Total Magical cho-lucky☆."
"Half-breed inferior, you really wanna die?!"
The air between Octopus and Sora turned hostile.
Tension crackled. Every breath felt like knives stabbing my lungs.
"C-Calm down, both of you!"
Even always-giggling Whitey was peeking nervously, trying to soothe them.
A powder keg on the verge of exploding.
Heavy silence enveloped us.
Then, a voice brimming with glee shattered it instantly.
"Heteroooo!!!"
The owner? Les.
Beaming innocently as she ran over from afar.
I'd only glanced at Sora and Octopus briefly, but in that time, Les had slipped away and come back.
"It worked!!!!!!"
Turns out she'd gone to test heart rate on genitals with the smartwatch. And it actually worked.
"Keep that shit to yourself, you fucking psycho!"
"Can't just keep it to me, Hetero!"
I didn't wanna know, but Les shoved the forbidden knowledge anyway. Really wanted to kill her.
But no time to stew in emotions.
"Everyone get a good rest? Time to head out now."
It was time to meet the mascots.