Chapter 109
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 109
Chapter Title: Interlude - A Trivial Fairy Tale
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Detention barracks.
The proper term was Magical Guardhouse.
This was the punishment I'd been handed.
The reason was just as I'd expected: engaging in a Magical duel.
Still, the duration wasn't all that long. The real issue was that the captain and battalion commander had known about it and let it slide, so my punishment ended up being light.
"Oh, and the inferior Retriever made it out on leave without a hitch, so no need to worry."
"Good to hear. Thanks for the update."
Whitey had managed to head out on leave without any issues. That was a huge relief.
I'd been fully prepared to kick up another fuss if she hadn't, but thankfully, it hadn't come to that.
Guardhouse, though... Honestly, I was pretty surprised.
There was no such thing back during my own military days, but apparently Magical Girls had a full-fledged one.
"Wasn't the guardhouse abolished under international accords? Replaced with character education instead?"
"That's ancient history now. I vaguely heard they brought back Magical Guardhouses because regular Magical character education couldn't handle it all."
"Ah, got it."
Makes sense. The world's already gone to hell once—clinging to accords at this point would be weird anyway. No guarantee that character education would even work on lunatics.
"Hetero, isn't the Magical Guardhouse better than you thought?"
"Yeah, fair point."
Lez was right.
It was called a guardhouse, but it was basically just an isolation room.
The food was decent enough, and as long as you stayed quiet, there were no real restrictions. You could sleep as much as you wanted or read the books laid out nearby.
And in my case, unlike the old-school guardhouses, time served here didn't extend my overall duty period.
A Magical MP had quietly tipped me off on the first day.
It was basically a show punishment.
The White Magical Girl must have pulled some strings for me.
I was grateful she'd gone out of her way even for this.
"Layman, if you need Magical temple fare, just say the word. There's an Arhat among the Magical MPs, so this girl could put in a quiet request."
"Cool, any chance of meat? Food's great otherwise, but the side dishes are a bit light."
"Ah, only Magical temple food is an option. According to Magical Buddhist doctrine, meat makes people savage."
"What the hell is that?"
"Seeing the layman have such a Magical overreaction just proves avoiding meat is the right path."
Plus, even if you couldn't step outside the bars, visits like this were completely unrestricted. Content aside for a moment.
But it wasn't just me getting this treatment.
"You came...!"
[Partner...?]
In the Magical Guardhouse across from mine was Dickhead, and her mascot—a mint-green turtle—had come to visit.
Dickhead had gotten the exact same punishment as me: guardhouse time.
I only learned that after arriving here.
Though her punishment was way harsher.
Visits were fair game since someone had shown up, but otherwise, Dickhead sat in seiza, eyes blankly open, unable to do anything else.
Even the slightest fidget?
The surrounding Magical MPs called her out immediately.
And the duration was insanely long. She hadn't been shipped off to prison, at least, but she'd be stuck in this stifling routine for quite a while.
Totally different handling from mine.
"Octopus, did that bitch rack up a ton of grudges? The Magical MPs were being extra shitty to her."
"Of course. Layman, you went straight from Magical Capital Hospital to here, so you wouldn't know, but there were a flood of Magical complaints filed against her."
On top of the duel, it came out that she'd viciously tormented other Magical Girls, or so I heard.
This is why people should live as nicely as I do.
The difference between trash-tier like Dickhead and A-rank like me.
And Dickhead's condition wasn't normal either.
Her damaged parts weren't fully healed like mine, yet here she was in the guardhouse.
She still had some anaphylactic reaction going—face still puffy, if not as bad as before.
"Shouldn't they wait till treatment's done?"
"No issue. She can take Magical antibiotics right here in the Magical Guardhouse."
I got it, though.
The Magical Capital Hospital had probably finished stabilizing her. The rest was up to her own recovery.
No reason to keep her there anymore.
"She wrote a Magical affidavit saying she wanted to shorten her time, that's why."
Might as well cut guardhouse days even a little. Staying at the hospital wouldn't shave any off anyway.
Meanwhile, Dickhead's mascot wailed at the sight of her partner suffering in discomfort.
[Partner!!! No!!!]
It was a bizarre scene.
A dickhead visiting Dickhead.
[What the hell happened!!! Why are you in the Magical Guardhouse instead of going on leave!!!]
Dickhead's mascot shed tears like it couldn't believe its eyes.
[Waaahhh!!! No matter how I think about it, this is wrong!]
Then it burst into sobs and started protesting to the surrounding Magical MPs.
[No way! Why does my partner have to be in the Magical Guardhouse! Let her out! Right now!]
The Magical MPs stayed stone-faced, but the mascot didn't care a bit.
[Did you even check properly?! What did our partner do to deserve the Magical Guardhouse!!!]
It just kept protesting.
As if that was only natural.
[Our partner did nothing wrong! Nothing!]
Dickhead's mascot had a point.
They say Magical Girls and their mascots tend to resemble each other, and its stubborn nonsense was spot-on Dickhead.
Anyway.
Being cooped up in the guardhouse like that messed with my sense of time a bit. I'd zone out, snap to, and the day would already be over.
[Like I said yesterday, our partner did nothing wrong! Hey, what's your Magical rank and serial number! I'm filing a formal Magical complaint!]
And so a day passed.
[Magical injury? That's because the other side deserved a beating! It's Magical provocation! Perfect Magical self-defense! At worst, mutual Magical assault!]
Another day passed.
[Can you even call yourselves Magical Girls for locking up such an innocent one by force?!]
Yet another day.
[If you're gonna keep ignoring me, just throw me in the Magical Guardhouse with my partner!!! Huh?! I'll never accept this, not even if I die!!!]
One more day.
[Let me out! Let me out! Please let me out!!!]
Then, one day, out of nowhere.
"Your Magical confinement period is over."
"Ah, really?"
The moment to end my guardhouse stint had arrived.
A strange time—long yet short, short yet long.
Seeing it end felt oddly surreal.
Back at the barracks, Whitey had just returned from leave.
"Siyul, thank you! Seriously, thank you! Used the card just fine!"
"Good. Did the captain give it back?"
"Yep! Got all the money back too!"
What a relief.
No need to worry about cleaning up a body.
Of course, I wasn't letting it slide easy. When the chance came, I'd settle this properly.
"I'll pay you back for what I used during surgery!"
Whitey beamed innocently and tried handing over the money, but I stopped her for a sec.
"Yeah? How much was it?"
"Roughly this much?"
A lot for surgery costs.
Must've been major surgery.
But pocket change compared to my funds.
"Nah. Didn't use much. Keep it."
No real intention of taking it. Not an amount that'd hurt if gone.
"B-but Siyul..."
"If it really bugs you, buy me something tasty later. You can afford it now, right?"
"Something tasty... Yeah! Got it!"
And so the back-and-forth between me and Whitey ended with her eyes misty and smiling.
Soon after, Sora returned too.
The moment she got back from leave, she apologized to me before even saying hi.
"Sunbae, um... sorry. For yelling at you back then."
She must've felt really bad about snapping during that visit.
I let it slide without issue, of course.
No reason to make a fuss anyway.
"It's fine. No big deal. Don't sweat it."
"Still... I shouldn't have gotten mad, and there wasn't even a reason to..."
"All's well that ends well."
Some might say this:
Like how true nature shows in extreme situations, didn't Sora reveal hers back then?
But no.
When people are pushed to the brink, their true nature emerges?
Nope. They just become desperate.
Sora was no different—just desperate.
That's why I didn't hold it against her. Honestly, she'd suffered more as family than I had as an outsider.
"Surgery go okay?"
"Thanks to you! Really grateful!"
"Good to hear."
That said, there was a subtle shift: Whitey and Sora both seemed a bit softer toward me now.
A little gentler, maybe?
Hard to pin down. Whatever—good's good.
Anyway.
The incident from Whitey's leave had its twists and turns, but it wrapped up neatly enough.
Not even funny as an ending, honestly.
The high-stakes fight resolved in an unexpected way, and there'd never been a real problem to begin with. If I'd just left it alone, it'd have sorted itself out.
We'd taken the long way around a perfectly fine road.
A trivial ending fit for a trivial fight.
That was it.
And yet.
This trivial ending for a trivial fight felt oddly satisfying.
Overlapping with the clichéd fairy tale closer: they all lived happily ever after.
So.
"Not bad."
It wasn't half bad.