The Calamity-Class Dragon’s Ramen Mukbang
The run-down residential area on the outskirts of Guro-gu, Seoul, was a neighborhood where redevelopment had been abandoned long ago. Half-rusted streetlights. Cracked alleyway floors. The exterior walls of villas riddled with fissures. And at night, the neighborhood would echo with the shouts of drunken men. To be honest, it wasn't a very nice place to live.
“……I’m back.”
I let out a quiet sigh and began to climb the narrow stairs of the villa. It was an old, four-story walk-up. Naturally, there was no elevator. Thud. Thud. At that moment, Cardia, who was inside the Subspace Pocket, asked a question.
“Master.”
“Why?”
“This building…….” She hesitated for a moment before asking with genuine concern. “Is it not going to collapse?”
“…….” I was momentarily speechless, my mind flashing to the cracked exterior walls of the building. “It won’t collapse. At least, not easily.”
“Is that truly the case?”
“Yeah. Really.” I didn't have much confidence in that, though. “Old, dilapidated buildings are just like that.”
Cardia remained silent for a while before muttering in a very small voice.
“I shall have to take Master to a safer nest.”
A moment later, I stopped in front of the door to Room 403, located at the very end of the fourth floor. Click. As I turned the old key, the door opened. Creeeeeak. A loud, groaning sound greeted me. I took off my shoes and stepped inside. A small living room and a narrow kitchen. It was a bit larger than a studio apartment, but it wasn't exactly spacious either. I let out a light breath and spoke toward her.
“You can come out now.”
Whoosh! A red flame flared up from the Subspace Pocket. The next moment, Cardia’s elegant form appeared in the room. Red hair and glowing, mesmerizing crimson eyes. And a violent presence, with breasts and hips so voluptuous they seemed ready to burst. Her presence was in stark contrast to the humble scenery of the house.
Soon, Cardia began to slowly look around the house. Then, she opened her mouth in a voice filled with reverence.
“Is this truly……Master’s hideout?”
“……It’s not really a hideout, just a home.”
“I see.” Cardia continued seriously. “So this is the sanctuary filled with Master’s scent.”
“What’s with the ‘sanctuary’ talk?”
She slowly walked toward the center of the living room. As she stopped in the middle, her eyes grew moist.
“To be able to share a space with Master……this maiden is simply overwhelmed with emotion!”
“…….” Wait. No way.
Before I could stop her, Cardia suddenly knelt down.
“Huh?”
The next moment—mwah. She kissed the dust-covered floor.
“W-what are you doing?!”
I panicked and pulled her up. Squish! Her massive breasts, feeling like giant water balloons, pressed against my body, delivering a dizzying shock. Cardia looked at me with a surprised face and asked.
“Why do you react so, Master?”
“Why are you kissing the floor!”
“It is an act of reverence toward Master’s dwelling.”
“You’re going to eat dust before anything else!”
“It is fine.”
“I’m not fine with it!”
I hurriedly dragged her toward the bedroom. After sitting her down on the bed, I caught my breath.
“Stay here for a moment.”
“…….” Cardia sat demurely on the bed. The sight of her long red hair flowing down onto the bed felt completely surreal. A Calamity-class dragon living in my house. Who would believe this?
I spoke to her as she sat there with such perfect posture.
“Rest comfortably here. I’ll go prepare dinner.”
Cardia’s crimson eyes twinkled. Then, her pupils were dyed with a rapturous light.
“Y-you will do it yourself, for this maiden?”
“Yeah.”
“Master will?”
“There’s no one else here, is there?”
Cardia clutched her massive chest with an emotional expression.
“How truly benevolent…….”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“This maiden is so happy right now, I feel as though my heart might burst.”
At that moment, a status window popped up.
The Crimson Lotus Dragon Cardia’s happiness has increased.
Obsession has increased.
Feeling cold sweat run down my spine, I hurriedly fled to the kitchen. The moment I arrived, I realized I was facing a realistic problem.
‘……It’s empty.’
Ramen, eggs, kimchi. That was it.
“Ha.”
I had obtained 50 top-grade magic stones as a reward for clearing the Nightmare difficulty, yet all I had in the fridge was ramen. Just then, I felt a presence behind me. When I turned around, Cardia had already approached the kitchen.
“Why did you follow me?”
“To watch Master.”
“I told you to rest.”
“A place without Master is no fun at all.”
I was momentarily speechless at her natural response. ‘Well, ramen it is, then.’ Thinking of her being hungry, I put water on to boil.
Bubble, bubble. While the water boiled, Cardia stuck right behind me. The sensation of her destructive bust pressing against my back was enough to make my lower half ache.
“Ca……Cardia?”
“Yes, Master?”
“Y-you’re too close right now.”
“Does this maiden being close displease you?”
“N-no, it’s not that.”
I threw the noodles and soup base into the boiling water one after another. Her sparkling crimson eyes were watching the process.
“Wow……!”
“……?”
“Master’s movements are truly mysterious and profound!”
“I’m just boiling ramen.”
Cardia shook her head seriously. “No. This is truly the movement of a perfect master craftsman.”
“I’m just used to it because I cook it a lot.”
“And you are even humble……!” Sniffle.
“I’m telling you, it’s not like that!”
Eventually, I burst into laughter. It was really nothing special, so why was this dragon so impressed? I couldn't even stop her because I could feel her sincerity. Then, I suddenly felt a warmth in one corner of my heart. ‘Is this what it feels like to live with someone?’ The moment that thought crossed my mind, an emotional lump rose to my throat. I tried to clear my throat and pointed to the table.
“J-just sit there for a moment. It’ll be ready soon.”
Cardia nodded obediently and sat in the dining chair. Her back was straight, and her hands were placed neatly on her knees. She kept glancing at me from the corner of her eye.
‘…….’ ‘My god.’
Isn’t she too cute? The being who was slaughtering monsters just a moment ago was now like a puppy waiting for food. No, she was much more dangerous than that. At the very least, a puppy wouldn’t burn the house down with its own abilities.
A moment later, I placed the finished ramen in front of her.
“Oh…….” Cardia’s crimson eyes sparkled.
“Is this the delicacy of the human world……!”
“It’s not a delicacy, just ramen.”
“The name is also truly magnificent!”
“No, it isn’t.”
I laughed and handed her the chopsticks. “First, let me show you how to use these.”
Cardia took the chopsticks. “……Are you referring to these two sticks?”
“Yeah. You’re supposed to use them as a pair.”
“Humans use quite difficult tools.”
“It gets easier once you get used to it.”
I demonstrated how to use the chopsticks. Meanwhile, Cardia followed along with a very serious face. Tremble, tremble. The noodles kept falling.
“Ugh……it is harder than I thought.”
“Take it slow.”
I laughed and gently held her hand. “……!”
“Like this, put some strength in your fingers.”
“……!”
“And move this side.”
Cardia’s face gradually turned red. As I continued to explain, I realized belatedly that the hand I was holding was surprisingly soft and delicate.
“Ca……Cardia?”
“B-b-because M-m-master is holding my h-hand…….”
“…….”
“My heart is beating strangely and wildly!”
Cardia’s happiness circuit was running wild. “Hehehe……Master is holding my hand…….”
“O-okay! Let’s eat the ramen!”
Cardia, seemingly coming to her senses, flinched and carefully picked up the noodles with her chopsticks. This time, she succeeded.
“I-is this how I should do it?”
“Yeah. Well done.”
I chuckled and patted her head. In an instant, Cardia’s crimson eyes curved at a dangerous angle.
“Hehehe! This maiden is so happy!”
‘My heart is in danger.’ But she’s so cute.
“T-then, try it.”
Cardia slowly brought the noodles to her mouth. Slurp. The next moment, her crimson eyes went wide.
“……!”
I flinched for a second. ‘Ah, is it not to her taste?’ Ramen might not be great for a Calamity-class dragon’s palate. I asked cautiously.
“H-how is it?”
A moment of silence passed. Her crimson eyes, trembling, turned back toward me.
“Master.”
“Yeah?”
“Do humans eat things like this every day?”
“Not every day, but we eat it often.”
Cardia’s expression was filled with shock.
“O-often?”
“Yeah.”
“You mean to say you eat this mysterious food that produces such a divine taste?”
“……Divine taste?”
Cardia stared at the ramen with a dazed face for a while. And the next moment—
Slurrrrrrrrrrp!!
A storm of eating began.
“It is delicious……!” Slurp! “It is so delicious……!” Slurrrrrrp! “The human world was heaven after all……!”