Revenge Match 3
I'm dead serious. Devil, Demon King, I don't care. Put one large pepperoni pizza from Atonement Slice right in front of me, and I'll sign the contract on the spot.
Just one glimpse of that cheese stretching out, and I'll die happy. That's my dying wish.
With the milk wave hitting, cheese supplies are dried up, right? The boss dipped out, and the world's screwing me over. Selling my soul. No negotiations. Cool trades welcome.
In the dusty pit of the abandoned house, a warm, freshly baked heat emanated from the box in my hand.
"...Where did that come from?"
Isha's eyes wavered. She was clearly suffering from an unimaginable hunger right now.
The price of using her title Noble Saintess. Her body, having poured out massive holy power, now craved calories like mad just to stay alive.
I opened the pizza box.
"Where else? Our shop."
"Liar. You've been here the whole time. And the shop's closed."
"Asked Adel to save some cheese for me."
I tapped the subspatial pocket.
"Got a tricky problem I unraveled fighting that elder last time. That genius applied it to punch a bidirectional subspatial tunnel through."
Subspace is basically a warehouse. Personal use only—put stuff in, take it out. But genius mage Adel used my hint to link our main base, far away, to my pocket like a delivery wormhole.
Unfortunately, high-purity mana stones limited her to just one.
"Who says genius for nothing. Her obsession with food birthed some insane applications."
I lifted a steaming slice. The cheese stretched artistically, and the smoky pepperoni aroma crushed the musty ruin smell in an instant.
Gulp.
Even Saintess Isha's nobility and her 100-day training vow knelt before that red ham slice right now.
"So, not gonna eat?"
"...W-who said I'm not?"
Isha snapped fiercely, but her eyes stayed glued to the pizza.
"Just... this whole situation is ridiculous, that's all."
She knew it too. Head back to the Holy Church like this, and waiting was Priest Yohan's nagging and 'special recovery green porridge.'
-Lady Saintess, right after using your title, you need fluid foods that won't burden your stomach.
-Ah. Of course I didn't eat anything. Better to fight another monster than that bland, fishy slop.
Plus, outside was chaos from the milk and cheese shortages. Lee Han's hot pizza joint shut down, ingredients scarce.
But here, in this ruin, fresh pizza right in front of her.
This was a chance. God's last supper before 100 days of hellish seclusion training.
"Here. Cheese hardens if it cools. Dig in."
I held a slice toward her. Isha pulled wet wipes from subspace, cleaning her hands meticulously. The woman unflappable in battle was reverent before pizza.
She gingerly grabbed the crust tip. Her red eyes sparkled with anticipation.
Nom.
"...Hngh."
A deep, thick moan escaped her small lips, like her depleted soul was refilling.
"...!"
Isha's eyes widened in shock. She clapped a hand over her mouth, glaring at me.
I pretended to gaze at distant mountains.
"Nice wind out there."
"...Lee Han."
"Didn't hear a thing. Ears might be off—too much light exposure."
"Trying to blackmail me with that again...?"
Isha glared, voice quivering. Remembering the 'euhh' incident at the soup joint last time.
"Hey, I'm not that guy. Customer secrets die with me—code of honor."
I chewed my slice. Isha bit her lip in frustration but didn't drop hers. She chewed aggressively, savoring it.
The box emptied in seconds. She elegantly wiped her mouth, donning her saintess mask again. Belly full, her expression softened.
"From today... the Holy Church steps back. Recall the heavenly net. Pull forces off you. Promise kept."
"Thanks. Breathing room at last."
"Don't get ideas. Official pursuit stops only. Bounties and warrants stay. Hunters and bounty hunters will still chase you."
"Got it. Better that way. Too quiet's boring. Gotta have tension to keep me sharp."
Truth was, that's what I wanted. Holy Church backs off, those lurkers eyeing chances move in.
Then they come to me—no hassle.
Random item boxes, obviously.
"You're such a freak."
Isha shook her head, then added solemnly.
"...As promised, 100 days of training."
"Good. You're the saintess—no doubting you."
"To the end...! Whatever. Fine."
Isha turned to leave. I tossed a small vial from my pocket.
"Catch."
Thud.
She snatched it reflexively. Transparent bottle with oddly mixed purple-red pills.
"What's this?"
"Mandrake pills."
Isha's eyes widened.
"From the Holy Church warehouse...?"
"Yeah. Concentrated and refined. One a day for 100 days. Best for training—clears mana circuits like nothing."
"......"
Isha stared blankly at the vial. She dimly grasped why I stole the mandrakes.
That these were made for her.
"You took them... to make this?"
Her voice trembled faintly.
"Don't flatter yourself. Leftovers from mine. Big hands, made too many."
I waved it off.
"No wild fantasies. Stronger foes make escapes fun. See you in 100 days—should be more exciting then."
"...You never yield an inch."
Isha let out a hollow laugh but gripped the vial tight. She tucked it safely away, nodding at me.
"Thanks. I'll repay this debt... with skill in 100 days."
"See ya, Saintess."
Isha vanished in light beyond the barrier. I tidied the empty box, muttering.
"Alright, time to head home."
Seoul, Seongbuk-dong Mansion.
New hideout. I stepped from the taxi before the massive iron gates.
Per my note, Adel and the crew should've taken it over.
"Quiet."
Normally, Red Skulls yelling in the yard or Adel's explosions. But dead silence.
...?
Trait: Intuition (Rank: A) detects a strange sense of incongruity.
No killing intent. Just artificial quiet.
'Crew prepping another surprise party?'
Last time at the abandoned factory—birthday bash. Adel flung cake at my face, missed. Predictable.
Heard I'm back, planned an event.
Creeeak.
Dark living room. Lights off.
"I'm home."
I announced, stepping in.
"......"
No response. No fireworks, cheers.
I walked to the center. Spotted something on the floor.
"...Adel?"
Purple hair splayed. Face-down, surrounded by dark red puddle.
That's... blood.
"Adel!"
I rushed, flipping her limp body. Pale face.
"Hey! Wake up! Adel!"
Then—
"Now! Grab him!"
Familiar voice from shadows. Kim Sil-jang burst from behind the sofa, binding my arms.
"Boss! Sorry! Sister's orders!"
"What?"
Simultaneously, Dokki leaped from upstairs railing, huge something in hand.
"Nailed it this time!!!"
Dokki held a massive 5-tier cream cake.
'Right, like Adel said—play along this time.'
"Let go!"
Fake struggle for their fun.
Dragon Slayer's power activates... but stops.
Using power here snaps Kim Sil-jang's arms. I desperately relaxed.
Splat!!!!
Huge cake smashed. Not my face—Kim Sil-jang's.
"?"
"?"
"?"
We all stared, question marks floating.
"Lee Han. Why didn't you dodge?"
Adel rose from the cream-splattered floor.
"Why? You said no dodging last time."
She dipped a finger in the red puddle, licked.
Slurp.
"Mmm... Aimed assuming you'd dodge... plan failed."
"......"
Adel wiped ketchup from her mouth, looking up.
"Anyway, surprise~ Scared ya? Huh? Didja?"
I clenched fists. Veins bulged on forehead.
"You guys......"
"N-no! Boss! Calm down! Adel sis made us...!"
Dokki backed away. Cake-smeared Kim Sil-jang flailed on floor.
"W-wait! Lee Han! No violence! We were welcoming... Kyaa!"
I grabbed Adel's cheeks, stretching.
"That was... you trying to... I was really scared!"
"Ow! Owwie! Hurts!"
Adel thrashed. Lights flicked on; hidden crew popped confetti.
Pop! Pop!
"Boss! Welcome back safe!"
"Boss! You're here!"
Chaos in living room. Ketchup-soaked genius mage, cake monster elite aide, grinning thugs. Black Rose smirking faintly.
I burst laughing at the sight.
"Ha... can't rein you idiots in."
Back from brutal battlefield. Still noisy, chaotic, messy hideout.
Mine.
"Yeah. I'm home."
I released Adel's cheeks, arms wide.
"Time for a booze party!"