Are You Impotent or Something?
Time passed, and we naturally stopped bringing up what happened that day. The moment when Shin Yujin had clung to me because of her trauma and I had taken her hand in mine.
It wasn’t quite at the level of a dark past, but mentioning it felt awkward—like it would drag up how serious we’d both been in that instant.
Besides that, there was one other thing that kept bothering me.
It was the relentless meddling from Kim Yerim and Hojin. A whole month had passed since we told them we wanted to get to know each other better first, so maybe their obnoxious behavior was inevitable. Still, I hadn’t expected them to ask every single time we were in the same class or doing something together. For the record, Shin Yujin was apparently getting the exact same barrage of questions from Kim Yerim.
“You said that a month ago. How long are you planning to keep ‘getting to know each other’?”
Just a month ago, that line would’ve let us dodge the topic. Now? Not a chance. The way both Kim Yerim and Hojin kept digging for answers made them look exactly like the nosy couple they were. They matched so well that even after they got married, they stayed exactly like this.
“We did sleep over, but we literally just slept. Yujin didn’t want to be alone.”
“…Dude, are you impotent or something?”
They’d officially lost their minds. From their perspective, two people who clearly liked each other had spent the night in the same house without anything happening. It was probably weird to them. Still, calling me impotent? That was going too far.
“Honestly, it’s a perfectly reasonable suspicion.”
I ignored Hojin’s ridiculous comment and walked out of the lecture hall. As usual, I ran into Shin Yujin. And of course, Kim Yerim was right beside her. Sure enough, the moment that cursed couple saw each other, they practically sprinted over, hugging and smooching like the world was ending. Watching that crap while single made me want to turn them into porcupines with a spear.
“Really? I don’t have any afternoon classes either.”
“Wait, for real? Then let’s go to your place for lunch!”
“Sounds good. I’ll cook something delicious for you.”
“And then…”
Kim Yerim hesitated for a second before whispering something into Hojin’s ear. Whatever she said made him flash a sleazy grin before kissing her on the cheek. I didn’t need to hear it to know exactly what she’d whispered. Damn couple.
“Oppa, maybe they’re already dating and just keeping it a secret from us?”
“Oh, that could be it.”
“No, we’re really not dating yet.”
“Hmm, I wonder when these two are finally gonna start dating.”
“Right? I wish they’d hurry up already.”
Sorry to disappoint, but the picture you two are hoping for is never going to happen. Not even if the sky splits in two.
“It’s so sad that you don’t understand the happiness of being in a couple.”
With that final jab from Kim Yerim, the two of them slowly disappeared from our sight. That last line of hers was really something. If I’d been even a little closer to her, I would’ve planted a fist right on top of her head and split it open. It was the moment I truly realized just how vicious she could be.
“Ah, the couple’s finally gone.”
“Even though she’s my friend, I really want to give her a noogie right now.”
Shin Yujin stood there, clenching her fist as she spoke. Her words and actions were nothing a twenty-year-old Shin Yujin would ever do. It created such a strong sense of dissonance that it almost felt unfamiliar.
“I matched my schedule with Yerim, so I don’t have anything this afternoon either.”
“I matched mine with Hojin, so I’m free too.”
“Let’s just go home. There’s nothing to do anyway.”
“Yeah. I should make some lunch when I get back.”
“Don’t eat ramen.”
“It’s too much hassle to cook.”
After that short exchange, we parted ways. Before heading home, I stopped by downtown to buy a book to read. Even though it was fourteen years ago, I hadn’t wandered around the city much back then, so everything felt surprisingly new. Most of the shops had that nostalgic old-school vibe, and since it was my first time exploring the streets alone, there was plenty to look at.
While walking around, my eyes landed on a stationery store that sold all kinds of cute items, including dolls. Among the countless products, one thing in particular caught my attention.
It was a small panda keychain doll hugging a stalk of bamboo.
The reason it stood out was simple. It was Shin Yujin’s favorite doll back when we were in college. She used to say it was her one and only character and would buy every single variation—different sizes, different designs—and decorate her room with them.
“Yes!! It’s my absolute favorite.”
“Want me to buy you one?”
“Wait, really?!”
“Yeah. Our Yujin likes it, so of course I should get it for you.”
“Thank you, oppa!!”
Come to think of it, that had happened too. Every time I saw a panda doll, it reminded me of her, so I’d buy one and give it to her as a gift. Thanks to that, her room ended up packed with way more panda dolls than usual.
I stopped reminiscing and was about to head home when…
For some reason, the exact panda keychain doll I’d just seen was now in my hand. I had no memory of paying for it, and I definitely didn’t remember picking it up. So why the hell was this panda doll in my grasp?
Since it was already in my hand, there was nothing I could do about it. I carried the panda doll home with me. I was just about to boil some ramen when—
-Beep!! Beep!! Beep!! Beep-beep-beep!!
The electronic door lock suddenly clicked open. No one knew my passcode, so I was completely thrown off—until Shin Yujin opened the front door and walked in.
“I already know the passcode, so why would I ring the bell?”
“I thought you were a burglar.”
“Even if a burglar came, they’d probably leave cursing after realizing there’s nothing worth stealing.”
“Why are you here?”
“To make you lunch.”
Only after hearing her did I notice the grocery bag in her hand. What kind of mood swing was this? Why had she suddenly shown up at my place to cook lunch?
“Why do you always have to phrase things like an asshole? Ever think about the person who’s taking care of you?”
“You suddenly break into my house saying you’ll make lunch. Who wouldn’t react like this?”
“Oh, is that so? I was going to make your favorite tteokgalbi, but I guess I’ll just head back home.”
“I’m sorry. This lowly one failed to understand Lady Shin Yujin’s noble intentions.”
Not only was it food made by Shin Yujin herself, but the menu was my absolute favorite—tteokgalbi. There was no reason in the world to refuse.
“I already said I was sorry. I just didn’t expect you to go this far.”
“There’s one thing that’s really weird about this. I clearly only have bad feelings toward you, yet I still feel the urge to take care of you.”
“Do you like me?”
“Fuck off. Don’t cross the line.”
The moment I heard her drop a genuine, heartfelt curse for the first time, I quietly buried any hopeful thoughts. In fourteen years, I could count on one hand the number of times I’d heard Shin Yujin curse like that. I never imagined I’d hear it now.
“Yes ma’am, understood. I misspoke.”
“Sit down. I’ll make it right away.”
“Call me if you need help.”
“I’m not such a terrible cook that I need help from someone who’s hopeless in the kitchen.”
“…That’s the second time today I’ve been called impotent.”
“Huh? Who else called you that? Hojin oppa?”
I told her everything that had happened in the lecture hall after class. After listening to the whole story, Shin Yujin…
She burst into loud laughter that echoed through the entire apartment, mocking me with genuine enthusiasm.
“That’s the third time now. Fuck.”
“It’s fine. I already confirmed you’re not impotent.”
“Huh? When did you—?”
“Don’t you remember? A month ago.”
“…You crazy bitch!!”
“What? It’s true. You got so fucking hard—”
Without thinking, I covered my crotch with both hands and glared at her fiercely. I had never once seen this version of Shin Yujin making jokes like this, so I was completely thrown. In all the data I’d accumulated over fourteen years, there had never been a Shin Yujin like this.
“I’ll say exactly what you just said. Don’t cross the line.”
“Ah, sorry. Even I can tell I went way over the line there.”
“Just give me the food already. I’m starving.”
“You crazy bastard. Wait a minute. I’m making it now.”
After that somewhat interesting conversation, Shin Yujin headed to the kitchen and started preparing lunch. She had come over to cook for me many times before, but something about it felt different this time. Even though the scene looked similar to how things were fourteen years ago, it didn’t feel exactly the same. That much hadn’t changed.