Chapter 103
The Count's Secret Maid - Chapter 103
Translation: godsn
Yet shadows lingered upon his face.
"Do you understand what I mean?"
"...... My apologies. I'm not certain I do."
"It means the things I wish to remember are gradually fading. Whether I desire it or not, time keeps flowing forward."
"......"
"Because I can't feel certain."
His forced smile looked truly uncertain. That made me wonder—what could these "things I wish to remember" be that he'd speak so earnestly? I wanted to ask what exactly he wished to remember. But I only parted my lips slightly, ultimately unable to voice the question.
Nothing hurts quite like chasing after the past.
"Yes...... I need it."
"......"
"I need certainty."
He murmured the word "certainty" as if rolling it around his tongue. His deadened eyes flashed vividly for an instant. But soon, as if it had been my imagination, his opened eyes returned to their original lightless state.
"That was unnecessary talk."
Abruptly, he concluded the conversation. His now-clear expression was as blunt as usual.
"They say curiosity killed the cat. Don't wander about carelessly. Understood?"
"...... I'll keep that in mind."
I was stunned by his suddenly frosty demeanor. As if I'd been dreaming. I bowed my head again.
I waited for Vincent to leave first. Having said his piece, I thought he'd immediately rise and depart. Yet he remained motionless. I couldn't guess his thoughts, but his silence unsettled me.
Suddenly, Vincent stepped closer. His breath brushed against my hair. I lowered my head even further. A shaft of light from the window pooled on the floor. Our shadows merged and wavered together.
My eyes, reflecting this sight, trembled uncontrollably.
"There's one more thing I'm curious about."
"P-please, speak."
"How did you and Alicia end up here?"
An unexpected name flowed from his lips. This time, I couldn't conceal my surprise.
Never once had I considered Alicia's words important. She'd boasted of seducing Vincent, but anyone could see it was absurd. No matter how popular Alicia was among men for her pretty face, the other party was a noble. I'd dismissed it as ridiculous gossip.
So why was he asking about Alicia?
When Alicia's name clearly left Vincent's lips, I couldn't regain my composure. How does he know her? Did she say something to him? My mind flooded with questions, yet no proper words emerged. Barely gathering my whitening thoughts, I managed one sentence:
'......
You know my younger sister?'
'I saw her often when visiting Joelli. We spoke several times.'
It made sense that Alicia, attending to Joelli, would encounter him. But remembering her name suggested more than casual conversation. It implied... they'd grown closer. That couldn't be.
Suddenly, I recalled what I'd seen in Joelli's room.
'Has your sister ever done this sort of thing?'
'Why do you ask?'
'Just... curious.'
'Well... We were separated for some time.'
My mood plummeted. I wanted to flee. I didn't want to discuss Alicia with him. I couldn't possibly answer properly.
'Being sisters doesn't mean you know everything about each other.'
'You must not be close, then.'
Since he was right, I didn't respond. I smiled bitterly and lowered my gaze. Though I shouldn't openly avoid his eyes, I couldn't face him now. Perhaps sensing my discomfort, he added nothing further and left.
What in the world is happening?
As I sat on the bed in a daze, the door opened and Alicia entered, humming. I grabbed her arm and pulled her down beside me.
"What are you doing!"
Alicia irritably shook off my grip on her arm.
"How did you get close to that man?"
"What? What man?"
"The master of this house."
At that, Alicia's scrunched-up expression smoothed over as she casually replied, "Oh, that?" She twirled a strand of her hair around her finger, exuding an air of ease. Yes, ease. A composure I had never seen on her before.
"I asked how it happened."
"'How it happened'? We just happened to talk a few times, and I must have left a good impression."
"Don't lie to me."
"What lie are you talking about?! You're the one who won't even tell me how you know that Christopher guy!"
"Answer my question first! How did you two get close?!"
"Ugh, that's all?! Why do you keep asking?!"
Alicia, who had been turning away in annoyance, suddenly whipped her head back to look at me.
"Did Lord Vincent say something?"
The abrupt question made me hesitate. Alicia's face gradually stiffened. Why was she making that face? Her eerily still expression, as if she'd stopped breathing, was unsettling.
"Sister."
Huh? I was taken aback by the unexpected term of address when Alicia suddenly seized my arm and pulled her face uncomfortably close.
"Why—why are you like this?"
"What did Lord Vincent say?"
Her eyes fixed on me, brimming with agitation. The tables had turned. Her grip on my arm tightened as she demanded to know what had been said.
I didn't answer. I winced in pain and tried to twist free, but Alicia stubbornly held on, yanking me closer.
"Let go, it hurts!"
"What did he say?! Did you two talk alone?!"
"I said it hurts!"
"Then tell me! What did you two talk about?!"
She acted as if she wouldn't let go until I answered, so I had no choice but to speak.
"He just asked if you'd ever done something like this before!"
"That's all?! What did you say?!"
"I said I didn't know! That's everything!"
So let go already! I thrashed my whole body, and only then did Alicia release me. I stumbled back, rubbing my sore forearm. Red marks were already forming from how hard she'd gripped me. Staring at them in shock, I looked back at Alicia—her gaze was still locked onto me.
"Really, that's all?"
"What the hell... What exactly was I supposed to hear?"
"Why would he ask that..."
Ignoring my question, Alicia muttered to herself. Just moments ago, she had been relentless, but now I might as well not exist. Still mumbling, she suddenly clapped her hands together with a bright laugh.
"Lord Vincent must be interested in me!"
"What?"
"Oh my god! I'm so happy!"
She wiggled excitedly, throwing her head back with a giggle. Staring blankly at her bizarre behavior, I muttered,
"Have you lost your mind?"
Had she finally gone insane?
She had to be. There was no other explanation. One moment she was irritable, the next feigning composure, then stiffening up, and now laughing? She had always been unpredictable, but this was beyond comprehension.
I looked at her as if she were a madwoman. Unfazed, Alicia suddenly strode toward me again.
"Did he ask anything else about me? Huh? What else did he say?"
"Nothing besides that."
"Ugh, come on! Why are you hiding it?! What did he say?!"
"I told you, nothing!"
Seeing no hope for a coherent conversation, I stood up. Alicia immediately tailed me, badgering me relentlessly. What exactly did he say, what did he say, did he say I was pretty, huh? Huh? I dodged her, pacing around the room before finally flopping onto the bed and yanking the sheets over my head. Alicia shook my shoulders insistently.
"Hey! Tell me and then sleep!"
"I don't know!"
I shouldn't have said anything in the first place.
Ethan was sprawled on his bed again today. I stood in front of it, staring blankly at him before calling out, "Lord Ethan." Immediately, he retorted that I should just leave the meal anywhere and go. Clearly, it was an automatic response from being woken up every time for meals.
Ethan still had a habit of skipping meals as if it were second nature. He'd skip breakfast, and even lunch, so bringing meals to his room had become routine by now. Even then, it took coaxing just to get him to half-heartedly eat in bed.
Today, too, I tried hard to wake him before he skipped lunch. Reluctantly, Ethan sat up, his hair tousled, and I placed the utensils in his hands. He scowled as he spooned the soup.
"Why are you so fixated on making me eat?"
"Because I'm worried."
"Missing a few meals won't kill me."
"Well, that's true, but..."
I watched as Ethan, eyes closed, fumbled with the spoon, unsure whether it was reaching his mouth or his nose, before continuing.
"You remind me of the master from before."
At my words, Ethan's hand froze.
Perhaps because he had been holed up in his room, skipping meals and only sleeping, I kept seeing Vincent's shadow in Ethan.
Vincent had been the same—locked away in his room, refusing meals, only sleeping. Unlike Vincent, Ethan at least ate dinner, even if he skipped breakfast and lunch, and occasionally went outside, but that didn't stop me from worrying.
I never brought up Vincent to Ethan. What good would it do to tell him that while he remembered me, he didn't recognize me?
And my answer to whether I missed him was still "No." Remembering and missing were two different things.
I didn't want things to grow any more awkward between Ethan and me over this. Though Ethan had brought up the bet, it seemed more like lip service—he didn't actually care much. Resting seemed to be his priority.
"I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll make sure to eat properly from now on, so don't worry."
Ethan smiled apologetically. That wasn't what I'd meant to hear. Feeling awkward, I rubbed the back of my neck.
After finishing my duties with Ethan's meal, I ran into Johnny on my way to see Robert. Unlike usual, he hesitated and eyed me cautiously. Ever since I cried in front of him last time, he'd been subtly checking on me. Thanks to that, I couldn't forget the fact that I'd bawled my eyes out.
"If you've got nothing to say, move along."
"No, it's just... I was wondering if you've been having a hard time lately."
What was he even saying? I ignored the unnecessary comment.
Leaving Johnny behind, I reached Robert's room. The moment I opened the door, a tiny figure darted out and clung to my waist. It was Robert. The nanny, who had followed behind, greeted me with an awkward smile.
"Welcome back. Did Sir Christopher eat well?"
"Yes. But..."
I glanced down at the small head latched onto my waist. The way his legs dangled made it seem like he wanted to be picked up. When I bent down to lift him, he burrowed into my arms.
But for some reason, his face looked gloomy, and just as I was about to wonder why, the nanny, sensing my confusion, added,
"He's been upset lately because you haven't been coming around much."
"...What?"
I had been a little scarce recently, but honestly, I was taken aback. Had Robert and I really been that close?
"Stupid."
Ah, I think the nanny misunderstood.
"Don't you like Robert anymore?"
My heart dropped at Robert's words. I hadn't expected him to think that.
"Of course not. I don't dislike you."
"Then why don't you come see Robert?"
He was a child sensitive to loneliness. No matter what our relationship had been, when someone he saw every day suddenly stopped appearing, he must have felt abandoned. A pang of guilt hit me, and I patted his small back.
"Lord Ethan... I mean, I'll come more often from now on."
"Okay. Stupid."
I wish he'd at least fix that nickname.
As if reading my thoughts, the kind nanny intervened.
"Young Master, you should call her Ann."
"No!"
Damn this brat.