The Ugly Running Form
The next day.
I headed back to the multipurpose room to try clustering again.
As always, Nam Yu-ri was already there.
When I opened the door after seeing the lights on outside, she turned from the whiteboard and greeted me.
"Seon Woo-hyun-ssi, hi."
"…Hello."
Her voice sounded completely drained.
Her face was so sleepy. A faint dark circle under her eyes, lips parted in a tiny yawn that made her look endearingly cute.
I let out a soft sigh without realizing it. It was exactly the same as last week.
…Did she pull an all-nighter studying again?
It was strange that someone could change so completely in an instant, but I couldn’t stop the worry from bubbling up.
I figured I should at least make up an excuse today so I could get her to sleep around thirty minutes before the lesson ended.
"You look exhausted."
"…Yeah. A little. Haa-um."
It wasn’t the big, booming yawn the guys used. This was tiny and adorable.
I felt a twinge of jealousy. Cute girls could be this cute even about something so minor.
She seemed embarrassed, cheeks turning the slightest pink as she showed me this side.
"Did you study until late again yesterday? Or did you have academy assignments and student-council work?"
I asked, thinking we could chat lightly before class started.
But the moment the question left my mouth, her expression shifted just a little.
What? Was it not that?
She always overworked, so I’d answered casually about things like that before.
Today her reaction was different.
"…That’s…"
She looked like someone who’d committed a crime she could never undo.
I watched her carefully, then she let her head drop and gave up.
And soon, as if accepting it, she confessed.
"…Actually, I didn’t study at all yesterday."
"What? Then why are you so sleepy now?"
My unexpected answer left me stunned.
She answered.
"I read the novel you got me, Woo-hyun."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I got so into it I didn’t eat properly or sleep at all… What am I supposed to do? This isn’t right, is it?"
She actually read it?
She’d threatened to cut me off if I didn’t, but half of it had been a joke.
Because buying her novels was just a formality.
If Nam Yu-ri didn’t like the story, I could’ve just tossed it in a corner without her ever opening it.
…Honestly, I was happy.
In a way, it meant she treasured the gift I’d given her.
"It must have been fun."
"…I never knew novels could make people cry and laugh like that."
She looked like she’d just had a culture shock.
Recalling yesterday, she told me.
"When I first opened the first page, I thought I’d just read a little and stop…"
"Yeah."
"Then I realized after thirty minutes. I’d eat and come back, read a bit more, then study…"
"And then?"
"I woke up and it was 3 a.m. I feel so sorry for Natsuhi. Woo-hyun, please… save Natsuhi…"
She was totally immersed.
The novel I’d recommended was a slightly melancholic Japanese story with a touch of fantasy, about a girl with a terminal illness.
The protagonist was a girl named Natsuhi.
"Natsuhi is pitiful, I’ll give you that."
"Pitiful is all you’re going to say? She has to live. How can you just kill her there?"
Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, face sad as she looked at me.
Where had the cynical girl who said she wouldn’t read it because novels never came up on exams gone?
I was strangely pleased she’d enjoyed the story more than I had.
…Right. Because in the novel’s setting, Nam Yu-ri had lived without watching even one movie that everyone else did.
It was probably why she didn’t fit in with her peers despite her beauty.
She only understood stories that gave emotions.
"The teacher said novels don’t come up on exams, so you wouldn’t read them. Hah."
"Eh? That’s… because I hadn’t read novels before, so I thought they were boring…"
Her shy reaction was adorable when I hit the nail on the head.
"Is that so?"
"Video games are addictive, and they’re too overwhelming, so I never played them."
"…"
"Books are something I’ve always read, so they’re familiar. I thought it would be easy to carry one around."
You’re already a full-blown novel addict, aren’t you, friend?
Of course I didn’t say it out loud.
"Yeah. That’s nice. It has a feeling, too."
Her parents probably didn’t push reading hard either.
Upper-class families always recommended it, after all.
Unless she couldn’t control herself and it interfered with studies.
"…So, anyway. Woo-hyun."
"Hm?"
"If you have more stories with a similar theme, can you recommend them? I just want one more."
Her sparkling eyes made me laugh.
She really became a novel addict.
"Then try ‘If I Could Return to You That Day.’ It’s really good. And…"
…Good. I was going to get a good novel friend now.
Even though she’d said one, I knew once she started, she’d never stop.
Watching her nod along and scribble down the titles I suggested, I thought maybe she could step just a little outside her own world.
***
The morning run had been going on for quite some time now.
I had made my own route that passed through the city and then headed to the Yeonseongcheon walking path.
I’d never exercised this consistently before.
Thinking back, I’d played badminton occasionally, but not every day.
Now, skipping nothing on weekdays and taking a full run on weekends, I was probably at the longest streak I’d ever had.
'The effects are good, and the satisfaction is huge.'
Why hadn’t I ever done this before?
Running like this and feeling regret? It felt really good.
At first it was hard and I just panted.
Now I was used to it. After exercising I’d come home, eat, shower, and feel like I was in heaven.
Plus, it seemed to be trimming some fat. People around me who knew I exercised were starting to notice.
And most of all, I was finally putting in effort for myself every single day.
The sense of efficacy and achievement that came with it was enormous.
But.
"Hi. You’re here again today."
"…Yeah. Hello."
Human greed had no end.
The more your stamina grew, the more distant goals seemed.
In other words, you wanted to do better.
Especially if you were running with someone every day.
"Haah… haah…"
She ran right beside me with breathing so steady you could barely hear it.
Meeting up with Seo Da-eun near Yeonseongcheon had become my daily routine.
I hadn’t planned to meet her.
We just went to the same school, so our morning running times happened to overlap.
But after weeks together, I started to feel restless if I didn’t see her in the morning.
"How far are you planning to go today?"
"Hm. About an hour?"
"Nice."
Because of the constant contact or the foolishness I’d shown her at the very beginning, she no longer treated me with caution.
She started chatting casually.
But it wasn’t really important.
After ten or twenty minutes of running together, the gap between us gradually widened.
"Huff… huff…"
Sweat poured down my face.
My breathing was ragged, but she looked completely fine.
She kept going with the relaxed faces of grandmas and grandpas out for a neighborhood stroll.
Weirdly, at first we’d started at the same pace, but once my speed dropped, hers didn’t.
'She’s gonna zoom ahead again.'
It stung, somehow.
Seo Da-eun was on the track team.
Of course I couldn’t beat her physically.
Beating a runner in a running race was like a cook beating a cook.
But the part that really bothered me wasn’t the simple excuse of “she’s faster, she’s out of breath.”
It was that she looked like she wasn’t even trying, while I looked like I was suffering.
At first I dismissed it as a physical difference.
But the longer it went on, the more convinced I became.
'Was it really just the gap in stamina?'
We were pretty different heights.
When I took one step, she had to take two or three.
There was definitely a difference in physical strength between men and women.
Yet she ran so lightly that I still couldn’t catch up.
Was there some secret way I didn’t know?
I couldn’t stop the thought.
When the distance grew and her back came into view again, after days of hesitation I decided to ask.
If I didn’t know, I could learn.
There was a running expert right in front of me; I didn’t need to rack my brain alone.
"Huff… huff… Seo Da-eun!"
When I called her name, she slowed to a stop at a steady pace.
She turned back with a slightly shy expression.
I stopped beside her, caught my breath, and asked.
"Haah… haah… Hey."
"Yeah. What?"
"I’ve wanted to ask for days."
"Yeah?"
"Why can’t I catch you after about twenty minutes? Is it just stamina?"
I asked honestly, lowering my pride.
Seo Da-eun blinked in surprise.
Then a small smile curved her lips.
"…You’re curious about that?"
"Yeah. I’m dying to know. I don’t want to beat you, I just feel weird that I can’t run at all."
"What to do. Should I tell you or not?"
Seo Da-eun laughed, taunting me.
Her ruthless personality toward people’s feelings remained unchanged.
But the way she looked at me was strangely heartwarming.
It felt like the warm eyes of a parent watching a child who had just learned to walk.
I noticed it without meaning to.
"Please. Tell me. I’ll buy you something at school during breaks."
I asked desperately.
She smiled cutely, eyes crinkling.
The beauty mark under her eye made it even more dangerous.
"Wait, it’s a joke. It’s not hard, I’ll tell you. You’re really curious, right?"
"Yeah."
"But don’t get hurt. I’ll be brutally honest. I’ve been thinking about it while watching you run for over a month."
Of course.
She had probably known I had a problem with running.
She just hadn’t said anything because it seemed like scolding.
Experts were always sensitive about advice.
"Whatever you want. Just tell me how to fix it."
But I was a man.
I’d heard far worse than harsh words.
I’d been scolded at work more times than I could count.
If it had been any other woman, I would’ve been hurt by a couple of words from Seo Da-eun.
"Okay. If you say it like that, I’ll tell you everything."
"Yeah. So what?"
"Basically…"
"Basically?"
She paused, then glanced at my eyes.
"…Seon Woo-hyun, your running form is ugly. Really ugly."
It hurt. Why did it hurt? I knew the answer already.
The fact that struck my chest without a trace of emotion from Seo Da-eun made my heart sting.