Eye-Opening
"I'm gonna hit the restroom real quick?"
"Sure. Go ahead."
In the end, after stuffing the book into her bag by force, I walked out of the bookstore with the study guides and workbooks in hand.
While she headed for the restroom, a good idea struck me.
Should I grab some waffles now?
Honestly, I wanted some myself. Maybe it was because I'd eaten breakfast a little early, but I was starting to feel hungry. We were going to study at the café anyway, and once we went in, we probably wouldn't come back out until we were done. Filling my stomach a little beforehand didn't seem like a bad idea.
The bookstore was on the first floor, and there was a waffle shop two buildings over. I hurried over and was standing in front of the place before she could return.
"One fresh cream chocolate and one apple cinnamon, please."
"Coming right up~"
Fortunately, the earlier line must have cleared out, because I was able to order right away. Watching the owner cook the waffles with quick, practiced hands, I found myself wondering why I was going this far.
Forcing a novel on her. Hauling waffles over. Of course I wanted to eat them, and of course it felt weird eating alone — but that wasn't the only reason I was doing any of this.
...It's because I identify with Nam Yu-ri, isn't it.
Cheap self-satisfaction. Maybe that was all it was.
Her life only differed slightly in direction from mine — the grain of it was the same. A life of sacrificing herself solely for her parents and her family. Suppressing every desire and instinct a child was supposed to have. Enduring things she hated, shouldering responsibilities she never asked for. Watching it, I simply couldn't stand it.
At least while she was with me, I wanted her to do at least one thing she actually wanted. ...Even if all I could manage was buying her a single waffle. Still, she couldn't even eat a dessert she loved that much by herself. You could tell just by looking at her.
Even in the original novel, she found expressing desire awkward — just like me. Suppressing herself had become so habitual that the very act of wanting something had turned into a sin.
...So I force-fed her like this. Otherwise she would never say out loud that she wanted to eat something, no matter how much she craved it.
It might look like I was doing it for her sake. But it was nothing more than self-satisfaction. And so what?
I decided to live this life for myself, didn't I.
This life, I wouldn't walk on eggshells. I wouldn't live for anyone else. I would only do what I wanted and become what I wanted to become. In that sense, even this act had meaning for me. I was simply doing what I wanted. Whether it was pity or over-identification with a girl who reminded me of my younger self — I was doing it because I wanted to. That was reason enough.
Nam Yu-ri might not like it, though.
Of course, if she made it clear she hated it, I'd stop. I didn't want to ruin her mood either.
"Here are your waffles~"
"Thank you."
I headed back to the bookstore with two waffles that had come out in no time. Being a street stall in a busy district, they were ready so fast that Nam Yu-ri still wasn't there when I arrived. She still hadn't come out of the restroom.
Standing around with a waffle in each hand, I waited a little while until she walked out slowly.
"Sorry I'm a little late. There were a lot of people inside, so I had to wait."
She said it apologetically. Apparently there had been a line for the women's restroom. Unlike the men's, the women's took forever when the stalls were full.
"Don't worry about it. Here, take this."
"Huh? Is this... a waffle?"
I told her it was fine and held one out to her.
"Which do you like better, chocolate or apple cinnamon?"
"Uh... if I had to pick, apple, but—"
"Then this one's yours. Here."
When I handed her the waffle, she looked up at me with round, troubled eyes.
"No, but I don't need to eat... Didn't you buy these for yourself?"
"Turns out the two-pack was way cheaper. Felt weird eating alone, so I got one for you too."
"Is it okay to just buy me things like this? You bought me a book earlier, and now waffles..."
"I heard you're not supposed to skimp on money you spend on friends."
Who said that? Hyeok-jin hyung did. Technically, he'd said not to skimp on money spent on dates, not friends. But this wasn't a date, so whatever.
"...Ugh. I'm really not supposed to eat this..."
She muttered in a voice barely loud enough for me to catch. Then she stared at the luscious waffle and swallowed hard. I drove the nail in so she couldn't escape.
"If you don't want it, just throw it away. Guess I was being a busybody buying it for nothing."
"Huh? N-No, that's not it. I'll eat it. Thank you."
She was as polite and considerate of other people's kindness and gazes as she was of her responsibilities and roles. It might have seemed a little ruthless, but I knew saying it that way left her no choice but to eat.
I took a big bite of my waffle first and said to her,
"Alright, let's go. To the café."
"Okay."
Sweet chocolate and fresh cream spread through my mouth. A taste that made you happy. And she took a bite of her waffle beside me, too.
"Mmm~ What is this? Oh my god! This is insanely good. Woo-hyun."
"Yeah? Glad to hear it."
She grinned with the happiest reaction in the world. Watching Nam Yu-ri devour her waffle in a hurry, a warm smile came to my face on its own.
Yeah. That's life, my friend.
I felt a bit like a bad person luring a kid with sweets — but if it made her happy, wasn't that okay?
"Alright, that wraps up the makeup session!"
"You worked hard. Seriously."
"You too, Woo-hyun. Getting dragged out on a weekend because of me."
"It's fine, it's fine. Let's drop that already."
Nam Yu-ri let out a quiet sigh of relief inside. It felt like a huge boulder had finally been lifted from her heart.
The makeup class had gone well somehow. The environment was a bit noisier than usual, so she might not have focused perfectly — but the time was more relaxed and the atmosphere freer than usual. She thought they'd finished the lesson well, asking questions more actively and mixing in some small talk along the way.
It's all thanks to Woo-hyun keeping up so well.
He'd made time he didn't have to, just for her. And he'd followed the lesson with such passion — as a mentor, she couldn't be more grateful. Moreover, as the concepts piled up, his growth rate was terrifyingly steep. Honestly, if he kept accumulating time like this, she sincerely believed it wouldn't take as long as expected for him to reach the top of the school.
"Heading out now?"
"Yeah. I should go. If I get home too late, my parents will worry."
"Ah, right. Go on ahead then."
"Thanks for today, Woo-hyun. See you at school tomorrow."
"Yeah."
She left the café and parted ways with him. She felt a small wave of regret ripple through her heart, but she held it down.
...Honestly, today had been fun.
Of course they'd met for studying. But she never had the luxury of spending time with someone even for a purpose like this. So the short time she'd spent with him had been enjoyable. Hearing that her clothes suited her, walking together and looking around the streets. Picking out books at the bookstore and getting recommendations. Eating waffles together.
Is this what hanging out with a friend is like?
Experiencing in reality what she'd only ever imagined was even more fun. Aside from playing with the other kids at kindergarten when she was little, this was the first time she'd ever met someone privately just to hang out. Every little ordinary act felt novel to her.
Woo-hyun. The more I see him, the better a guy he is.
And Seon Woo-hyun. The way her evaluation of him kept soaring day by day was only natural. Buying her a book as a friend, and probably bringing the waffle because he wanted some and then handing one to her — she knew he'd done it because he'd noticed she wanted one.
Quick on the uptake. Kind. Looks rough on the outside, but he's incredibly delicate inside.
And Nam Yu-ri didn't particularly dislike those actions of his. Some people might find them burdensome. Plenty of kids found her intimidating — student council president, school president, and top-tier looks. She looked perfect from the outside, after all.
But just like Si-a, Woo-hyun treated her without any reservation, as if none of that mattered. Moreover, unlike her, he was honest and true to his desires. He might have been an object of longing for her as well. Because she could never live like that.
...But playtime was over now. The fun day was ending, and it was time to return to her colorless daily life. Work and study, pain and effort. A cycle of repeating those until exhaustion — that was Nam Yu-ri's life. Only then could she earn her parents' recognition. Only then could she be a mayor's daughter she wasn't ashamed of.
Her bright expression sank, and she headed home.
"Oh my. Miss, you're back? Have you had dinner?"
"Ah, no, not yet. If you could prepare something, I'll wash up and come down."
She stepped into a house quiet to the point of weariness. She politely greeted the housekeeper and went upstairs. After showering in the bathroom attached to her room and changing into clean clothes, she composed herself and sat on the edge of her bed.
"...Dinner probably isn't ready yet. Did I wash up too fast?"
She knew the average time it took the housekeeper to cook. At this hour, she was surely just starting. A brief stretch of free time. Normally she'd use it to memorize English vocabulary. But somehow, without realizing it, her gaze drifted to the bag she'd taken out today.
"...The book Woo-hyun bought me. Should I read just a little?"
It was the first gift she'd ever received from a friend. She was happy, and a little excited too. It was leftover scrap time anyway, and she'd have to study again after dinner. Reading just a tiny bit should be fine, right?
...Just a little. Just for a moment.
Maybe because she'd been out on an outing today, something in her had come loose differently from usual. Perhaps that was why. She made a choice she would never have made under normal circumstances.
And then.
"Hnnngh... hic... hwaaah... What do I do... You can't do that... What about Natsuhi..."
That day, she learned for the first time that a person could cry from reading a novel.