Get Lost If You Can't Even Bake - 1

Looks like this year is going to be a good one. Yeah—I've been worked like a dog so far. I'm owed a peaceful year for once. If Enen has any conscience left, it's high time he blessed an invasive species like me.

I'm happy. Whether backlogged blessings finally exploded all at once or pure dumb luck simply decided to pile on, good fortune has been pouring in one after another. If no one had been nearby, I might have flipped cartwheels north, south, east, and west while roaring with joy. Hell, I'd have roared in all eight directions if I felt like it.

And that was why Later looked especially handsome to me today.

My Number Three.

The way I looked at Later warmed all on its own. Until now I'd counted him as one of the two great peaks of annoyance, right alongside Ryutis, but I never expected him to pull something this praiseworthy. As expected of a mage—the very symbol of intellect.

Honestly, when he slipped into the empty clubroom, I wondered what was going on. My first thought was worry—maybe he'd come to make some outrageous request, or to turn himself in after causing some incident. No matter how I turned it over, there was no reason for Later to seek me out first.

"I'll handle the mages myself. I can ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hardly go around bothering an already-busy advisor, can I?"

The moment I heard those words, worry flipped into pure joy. The prince of a magic superpower offering to rein in the mages? Wasn't that him pinpointing exactly the part that annoyed me and volunteering to take it over?

"And if you have the time, Advisor, there's something I'd like to ask of you—"

"Don't worry. If it's something I can't grant, I'll ask the Demon Duke on your behalf."

Of course a royal wasn't a charity worker; he wouldn't move without reason. He was helping because he wanted something from me, and luckily what Later wanted was something I could give. At a time like this, what a mage wanted was obvious.

So I gave him a firm answer before he'd even finished speaking. If you help me properly, I'll give you what you want.

"Thank you, Advisor."

With that cool deal sealed, Later bowed his head. Thank me? I was the one who should be thanking him.

Back in the Imperial Capital I'd fretted over how I'd even survive the year. The moment I arrived at the Academy, the manpower I'd desperately needed started lining up one after another—and not just any manpower, but outstanding talent without a single flaw.

Later, especially, was a slave—no, manpower—that had rolled in completely out of nowhere. Unlike Ainter, who had to fulfill his duties as imperial family, or Erich, who helped because we were family, Later had offered his hand of his own free will. Sure, it was the product of cold calculation, but so what? With personal gain on the line, he'd work even harder.

The best.

Watching Later leave the clubroom, I quietly closed my eyes. Nothing came to mind but that one word: the best.

I might be the Demon Duke's prospective partner, but as an inspector I couldn't get too close to the students. That distance would have made smooth control difficult. With Later, a student, cooperating, the distance problem vanished. On top of that he carried the authority of a royal, so things would go even more smoothly.

Of course, given the mages' insane mania and drive, even a royal couldn't control them perfectly—but that was enough. If Later filtered them first, only a tiny handful would remain, and I could manage that much with ease.

Thank you...

I pictured Later's face again—the true embodiment of reason in this age. I'm really grateful. I'll make sure you get an hour of one-on-one training with the Demon Duke every day.

By the time you graduate from the Academy, you'll be the greatest mage in Uben.

Contrary to my worries before the opening ceremony, the Academy was peaceful. Whether the principal's speech had pricked the freshmen's consciences or their common sense and manners were simply solid, either way, the Academy remained calm.

What's more, with Villar managing the foreign students and Later reining in the mages, how could any trouble arise? In an emergency I could even deploy Ainter and Erich—a lineup so stacked it made my chest swell with grandeur all on its own. Was this what it felt like to secure the Five Tiger Generals and play as Liu Bei's army?

"Without Sir Villar, even two of me wouldn't have been enough."

So, filled with gratitude, I invited Villar to the clubroom. I could look after the other three every club period, but not Villar. Conveniently, the Demon Duke was also out for class, so the timing for an invitation was perfect.

"You flatter me. Even without me, the Academy would have cared for the students splendidly."

"Haha, as an imperial citizen, those words are music to my ears. The principal will be delighted."

At Villar's composed response I smiled faintly and poured him tea. Honestly, the fact that Villar had taken on the foreign students had been my and the principal's decision, so it had weighed on me. Thankfully, he didn't seem to hold a grudge over a decision made in his absence.

He had probably judged that division of roles and cooperation were essential if they were going to overcome this insane admissions rush. To be honest, without Villar taking the foreign students there would have been no solution. For me or the principal to handle them directly... we were imperial citizens, after all...

"Still, the truth is that Sir Villar's help made things much easier. When you've cooperated this thoroughly even in foreign affairs, how could I possibly skimp on my thanks?"

Then I handed him the box I'd set down to the left of my chair. Gratitude that was only words never shone as brightly as tangible goods exchanged.

"It's a small token of my appreciation. For a knight, no treasure is more precious than the body."

Villar, who had worked himself to the bone alongside me last year, and who would keep grinding for two more years to come. As fellow sufferers in the trenches, it would be a lie to say I didn't feel a pang of sympathy and kinship.

That was why I had prepared a precious gift he couldn't get anywhere else.

"It's a potion made by the Demon Duke. Ordinary wounds will heal at once, and regular consumption will be good for your health."

At those words Villar's eyes went wide. Even for someone as unconnected to magic as Villar, the Demon Duke's reputation was impossible not to know. And for a knight who put his body through the wringer, high-quality potions were treasures beyond compare. A potion made by the Demon Duke stood above any other.

"If it's someone my little one is indebted to, I ought to put my full effort into making it."

And the Demon Duke had put special effort into making them, too.

Granted, it wasn't the forty-year holdout longevity potion I was currently taking—but potions didn't have lifespan-extending effects in the first place.

"I prepared some for Dame Perosa as well, so please accept them."

"Thank you. I never expected to receive something so precious."

Villar had hesitated for a moment, perhaps afraid of looking mercenary if he accepted too readily—but the moment he heard I'd included some for his precious daughter, his hands moved at once. As a father, a child's health always came before pride.

"The gift I prepared is so shabby I'm embarrassed."

At his slightly awkward words I lowered my gaze a little. More precisely, toward the carefully wrapped box resting to the right of my chair.

Apparently the sense of kinship toward Villar wasn't one-sided; he had prepared a gift for me as well. When he handed it over the moment he entered the clubroom, saying it was a present, I'd been moved. So my Academy assignment years hadn't been completely wasted after all—

"It's a gift for you and your lovers, Inspector. Made by a fairly renowned artisan even in Armein, so I trust you'll like it."

I couldn't lift my head when he said he'd never expected me to prepare six pairs—but then again, I'd never expected that steadfast knight to go out and buy bracelets. Unexpected gifts from unexpected people always hit harder.

"Shabby? We simply exchanged things the other couldn't obtain. What's shabby about that?"

Armein jewelry I could never get my hands on; special Demon Duke potions Villar could never obtain. It was nothing more than a heartwarming exchange of things the other lacked. Why quibble over shabby or excessive?

"Hearing you say that puts my mind at ease."

I returned the faint smile Villar offered me.

If only half the people in the world had even half of Villar's character, life would be bliss.

I think I'm developing species self-hatred. These blind, rabid dogs...

But I could understand perfectly well how they'd turned into rabid dogs, so I stopped just short of full-blown self-hatred. If I hadn't been a member of the Baking Club, if I hadn't struck a deal with the Advisor, I would have been one of those rabid dogs myself.

As expected, it isn't easy.

I pressed a hand to my forehead and let out a small sigh. I'd steeled myself for this from the moment I proposed the deal to the Advisor, but I never expected it to be this annoying and irritating.

Regrettably, royal authority alone couldn't stop every mage whose eyes had flipped with mania. These were people who had gathered from every corner of the continent with the Demon Duke as their sole target. They were far too extreme and brimming with madness to be held back by mere authority. Only after mixing authority with subtle persuasion and light pressure had I managed any results—and even those weren't perfect.

Stubborn bastards.

Even after I blocked them with desperate thoroughness, some mages remained unyielding. There were already people who had openly filled out Baking Club application forms, and talk of those who would submit the moment the club application period opened.

"Brother Later?"

As I sat blankly in the chair, Tanian's voice reached me.

"Tanian."

I wanted to at least wave a hand, but I had no strength for it, so I only tilted my head. It might have been rude, but Tanian focused not on the rudeness itself but on the state that forced me into it.

"What's wrong? You look drained."

"Going to cast a holy spell for me?"

"Gladly."

Tanian let out a soft laugh at my words, rested ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a hand on my head, and recited a short prayer.

Thanks to that, vitality rose in my body, and my hazy mind felt clearer. I never thought he'd actually do it.

"Is it because of the club issue?"

At the question that suggested he already knew everything, I quietly nodded. That I'd become the gatekeeper protecting the Baking Club wasn't exactly a secret.

"You're ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠working hard. It almost makes me feel guilty that Brother Later is the only one suffering."

"I volunteered for it, so it can't be helped."

Right. I'd brought this on myself. The fact that it was hard work was exactly why I could put it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠up as a condition of the deal. If it had been easy and convenient, the Advisor would have handled it lightly himself.

And strictly speaking, I wasn't the only one suffering. Once I started clamping down with fire in my eyes, some of the mages began approaching the other club members. Rather than a hopeless path, they'd found one with even a sliver of possibility. A thoroughly mage-like method.

"What about you, then? Are you all right?"

And Tanian was one of those members, one of those possibilities, so he would be suffering in real time as well.

"I actually came to talk about that."

At that, Tanian smiled deeply and opened his mouth.

"One of the students who enrolled this year from the Holy Kingdom is planning to found a new Baking Club."

?

"How about directing those who wish to join the Baking Club over to the new one?"

"...A new Baking Club?"

The mind that had just cleared was starting to cloud over again. What on earth was he talking about?

But Tanian paid my reaction no mind and continued with an even deeper smile.

"Isn't it strange for people who know nothing about baking to join a Baking Club? So it's a small club created in the sense of telling them to go practice first before formally joining."

Wait—weren't we the same, joining the Baking Club without knowing a thing about baking?

"You can't create a duplicate club, though...?"

Still, I brought up the fundamental question first. With a Baking Club already existing, a new Baking Club would—

"Ah, officially it's a club for comparing the Old and New Testaments and discussing the social conditions of those eras."

"A discussion club?"

"Yes. We simply make simple desserts to accompany the discussions."

At those words, I could only nod.

Since blocking them is impossible, just shove them somewhere else.

...A method I never could have imagined.