Starting Over - 3
Today is my last day of work.
Last.
A word that makes my chest swell. My last day of work—my heart is racing just thinking about it.
Of course, it isn’t the last day of my working life, merely the final commute before the break. If it truly were the last day of my life, I’d have the confidence to crawl on all fours from the mansion all the way to the Ministry of Finance headquarters.
So please, just accept my retirement. I’ll do whatever you ask.
“I wonder if I could retire in my forties too.”
I muttered, recalling the previous Count Horfelt, but the Deputy Head beside me quietly averted his gaze. Yeah, I know it’s impossible for me either.
He stayed silent because he couldn’t bring himself to crush his Department Head’s hopes. I’m grateful, but that considerate silence stings more than a blunt denial ever could.
“If the Department Head wants to retire in his forties, dying seems like the only option.”
“Shut it.”
Compared to ungrateful people, the Deputy Head is a goddess.
The First Department Head’s sudden jab made irritation and reluctant agreement surge at once. Damn it, I can’t even argue back.
“You always say mean things only to me. That’s so unfair.”
She pouted and whined, and my hand shot out on instinct.
Mean things? Me, to you? Grab any passerby and ask them. Who threw the first provocation?
“I hope you meet a subordinate just like yourself.”
“I already have one just like that.”
“Has the continent gone to ruin?”
The Third Department Head’s casual addition drew a sigh from me. As if the original First Department Head weren’t enough to drive me crazy—there’s a little First Department Head too?
When I shot her a look full of contempt, the First Department Head, whose lips I was pinching, flailed and slapped at my arm. Fine, go ahead and talk.
“If there were more of me, the Audit Department would be so much brighter and better! Making a gloomy department pretty is something worth praising!”
Without hesitation I grabbed her lips again. I can’t tell whether this girl took medicine she shouldn’t have, or failed to take medicine she should have.
Brighter, my ass.
If the “brightness” the First Department Head is talking about consists of the blood that comes out during interrogations and the tears streaming down my face as I clutch the back of my neck, then I’d rather stay gloomy forever.
I finally released the First Department Head’s lips when the Deputy Head handed me the last document. Once I approve this, I can say goodbye to paperwork for a few months.
“Department Head? Did you cut your finger?”
“My finger?”
At the Third Department Head’s words I looked down and saw my thumb turning red.
What the hell is this? I didn’t even feel a cut.
“Hiiing…”
At the First Department Head’s watery voice, every gaze in the office snapped to her at once.
Against her pale face the red stood out vividly. Her lips and the area around them were stained crimson.
“Hey, are you hurt?”
Had I failed to control my strength and caused a disaster? Had the First Department Head’s lips become lip/s?
I hurriedly approached her, and she clutched her lips, on the verge of tears. No, for real?
“…Injury from assault would mean suspension, wouldn’t it?”
“Fortunately there are no more documents to approve. Feel free to go deal with it.”
The low voices of the Third Department Head and Deputy Head nearly made me lose my mind. In the hearts of my two subordinates, my suspension was already confirmed.
This is awkward. I’ve never failed to control my strength before. If she’s tearing up this much, it must really be torn properly—
“I went through all the trouble of putting on makeup, and now it’s all smeared.”
Ah.
Relief and emptiness washed over me at once. Why did she have to do something she never normally does?
“What, you put on makeup? Nothing looks different.”
“I did!”
At the Third Department Head’s comment the First Department Head screeched.
Sorry. Honestly, I didn’t notice either. If I had, I would have grabbed somewhere else instead of her lips.
With the Department Head off work, I returned to the First Department office. No point staying in the Department Head’s office when he isn’t even there.
Heh…
I absently touched my lips. The Department Head had scolded me about putting on makeup for work, but his tone had been strangely gentle. As expected, showing tears makes him soft.
“It’s weirder this way. Just come as you usually do.”
The Department Head, grumbling as he wiped the smeared makeup off me himself. Doesn’t that mean my bare face is pretty enough without makeup? Honestly, Department Head, you’re so bad at being honest.
Feeling proud, I kept nodding and saying I understood. I’d only put on makeup to look good for the Department Head, so if bare face is his preference, I should match that.
Penelia was right.
The Department Head really does seem more generous and relaxed than before. His actions and words are a little more plentiful than usual.
—Master, it seems the Department Head has made progress in his relationship with Lady Margeta.
“Really? The Department Head?”
My recent communication with Penelia. At the time she had given me truly important news.
Lady Margeta, who had suffered the most from the Department Head’s iron walls. There had been progress in the Department Head’s relationship with that very Lady Margeta.
—Lady Margeta is calling Master… the Department Head by his name now.
“Just speak however’s comfortable. It’s only us, after all.”
The fact that the Department Head had even permitted her to use his name was surprising. Actually, the more surprising part was that Penelia still insisted on calling him Master no matter what.
In any case it was welcome news. The Department Head growing more lenient toward Lady Margeta meant he was slowly unraveling the knot in his heart.
Of course there wouldn’t be any sudden drastic change right away. But the fact that he was unraveling that knot—that was the most important thing.
He’s on the market now.
This was the Department Head who had never been able to forget Lady Hecate. Because he couldn’t forget her, he had pushed everything else away.
And now he has stopped pushing? It’s as good as a signal that he is letting go of his lingering attachment to Lady Hecate and moving forward.
A listing no one had been able to bid on has finally gone up for auction. Now, as long as I can bid with everything I have, I can stay by the Department Head’s side.
Finally.
The chance has finally come. The wall I could never climb is disappearing.
Until now I hadn’t even dared to try. I knew how precious the Six Swords were to the Department Head, and how deeply he had loved Lady Hecate among them.
Knowing that so clearly, I couldn’t find the courage to approach him. Lady Margeta at least didn’t know the Department Head already had a first love; if I, who did know, had carelessly drawn close, I would only have earned his anger.
If I forced it and ended up losing even our close superior-subordinate relationship, that would be a disaster. This relationship is far too precious for that.
Thank you, my lady.
I had been afraid of losing what I already had, but now the situation has changed. Standing at the center of that change is Lady Margeta. As expected, red-haired people are all good people. I liked her hair color from the start.
So I can gladly yield the first spot. Mm, I have that much generosity. Second place is plenty for me.
It’s a shame he’s going to the Academy, though.
Right after receiving the good news the Department Head is leaving, but it’s still all right. At the Academy the only competitor is Lady Margeta, with no one else around.
Since I can’t prevent Lady Margeta from becoming first anyway, her being at the Academy is fine. If anything, if she had stayed in the Imperial Capital she might have charmed someone else.
So I’ll wait for winter break. I don’t know if he’ll come back to the Imperial Capital even then, but if he doesn’t, I’ll prepare myself to go to the Academy.
I have plenty of chance too. I’m the Department Head’s closest subordinate. Ever since Penelia went to the Ministry of Special Affairs, no one has been closer than me.
“The Audit Department’s work is hard enough as it is. At least among ourselves we should be comfortable.”
The day I first met the Department Head as Department Head and section chief. The day the other section chiefs and I had just been promoted and were full of tension.
The Department Head’s first words wrapped my chest in warmth. At first I wondered why the youngest-ever Department Head was so soft, but to us, worn out by the sudden internal and external purges, those words had been exactly what we needed.
“Is the Audit Department just for show? Did we make a department so everyone could sit around playing poker? If you can’t handle it alone, say so.”
“If it’s urgent, just do it. I’ll write the disciplinary report later.”
“Which bastard dared to mess with my people!”
And the Department Head wasn’t merely warm. He always stood at the very front of the Audit Department, leading and encouraging us.
So I made up my mind. I would become the comfortable relationship he wanted. I would become a truly comfortable subordinate for him.
“Damn it, I was way too soft on you lot back then.”
He’s not honest, so he sometimes says things like that, but the Department Head truly regarded me and the other section chiefs as people he could relax around.
He casually throws around lines like “I hope you meet subordinates like yourselves,” “Where did all these freaks gather from,” and “I wish you’d all just disappear,” yet whenever help is needed he gives it without holding back.
I’ve watched the Department Head for far more than a day or two. If he truly disliked us he would have fired us long ago.
Yes, so the Department Head and I have a comfortable relationship. A close one.
Now I need to get even closer.
The Department Head’s warmth and, at the same time, his firmness. His cool-headedness and, at the same time, his gentleness.
For two years I watched him and fretted alone. Penelia had similar feelings, but she was the type who was satisfied simply being at the Department Head’s side.
I’m truly lucky. I had been worried I might still be unmarried past thirty.
This is the best.
I lightly ran my tongue over the lips the Department Head had touched.
Well, for something he just “touched,” there was a little too much force, but so what. As long as I like it, that’s enough.
When I came home from work, the Fourth Department Head was there to greet me.
“You’ve worked hard, Master.”
“Ah, thank you.”
I told her she didn’t have to do this, but she insisted she couldn’t neglect her duties and kept at it stubbornly. It would be fine if she took it a little easier.
Suddenly the First Department Head, who had been unusually lively today, came to mind. No, she was always lively, but today she had felt even more unhinged than usual.
How did those two become friends?
They really are too different. The First Department Head, the incarnation of liveliness and madness, and the Fourth Department Head, who seems like silence and solemnity given human form. Aside from having eyes, nose, and a mouth, they have nothing in common. Still, the fact that they somehow became close is amazing.
If they’d mixed half and half…
It would have been nice if the First Department Head were a little less lively and the Fourth Department Head a little less solemn.
I’m seriously worried. Both of them have such strong personalities—will either of them ever manage a normal marriage?
I hope they find good partners.
The Fourth Department Head, whom I practically raised myself, goes without saying. I’ve developed both fondness and exasperation for the First Department Head too, so I desperately hope she meets someone good.
Yet there’s not even a hint of that. Please, someone, anyone, show up.