083 – The Onion's Too Spicy #1
Pandora Market always reminded me of those rundown old urban districts hit hard by low birth rates. The streets were as desolate as if some terrible plague had swept through, and here I was, all alone.
Creak—.
Every now and then, eyes from residents peering through the gaps between shuttered shop doors and signs would fix on me. But the moment I looked their way, they'd flinch like startled mice, averting their gazes and slamming the windows shut.
"Hard to believe this place was once the busiest hub in all of Soul Society."
Right up until the Business Renewal, Pandora Market had been the economic and distribution center of Soul Society. Word had it you could find anything here—no exceptions.
"So, where the hell am I supposed to go?"
I'd been appointed deputy chairman of this market's development division. There had to be a development headquarters somewhere around here. But the area was so neglected that huge swaths weren't even updated on the map app.
Straight ahead? Dead end. Turn right? Brick wall.
Squeak, creak—.
Happy Sundries.
As I wandered, my eyes caught an old, warped sign swaying on a building. A three-story structure with rundown shops on the first floor.
"......"
A woman sweeping the street in front of the shop locked eyes with me. Her face was wrapped in something like a turban, leaving only her eyes visible.
Probably married.
Honey-gold eyes that were utterly captivating. With eyes like that, she must have set countless men's hearts ablaze and gotten hitched. Definitely a married woman.
"Excuse m—"
"No thanks if you're peddling water purifiers or new device sign-ups."
Oof, shit—.
Didn't expect that sharp a shutdown. But a married woman putting up walls against strange men was only natural. Hiding her face like that with a hijab? She must have serious trust issues with guys.
"I'm Jo, the new deputy chairman assigned to develop this market. Do you know where the development headquarters is?"
"If you've got questions for me, buy something in my shop first. Nothing's free at Pandora Market."
Fair enough.
I stepped into the first-floor Happy Sundries. Shelves crammed with dried herbs, lizards, unidentified woods, cacti, you name it.
Bubble bubble bubble—.
Then I spotted a pot bubbling with fluorescent goo. What the hell was that? The moment curiosity hit me—tsk—a tongue-click sounded.
"I wouldn't poke around in there if I were you. That's hydra venom. Second deadliest poison in all of Soul Society."
Hydra venom? Didn't peg this place for handling that kind of stuff.
I recoiled in horror, and my eyes landed on a glass jar packed with yellow, round candies.
"What's this?"
"Honey candies made from honey ants' stash."
"Honey ants?"
"Sigh. Ask a million questions and then say you're not buying? Try it."
Sheesh, can't a customer ask? Talk about rude service. These days, Soul Society's retail was cutthroat—if clerks or owners weren't friendly, business tanked.
"Honey ants are ants that gather honey. They used to be everywhere across Soul Society, but hell cockroaches drove 'em out, so they're rare now. Honey's scarce too."
Reminded me ants and bees were cousins. Bees make honey; why not ants?
Nymphs love honey candies—would they dig these too? Melinoë's face flashed in my mind.
...Gah, why am I thinking of Lady Melinoë right now?
I was teetering on the edge of demotion and firing. The future was everything.
"Got anything nymphs would hate? Something you hang by the door to tank your favor with them."
I recalled the earlier chat between Chairman Hades and Lady Melinoë. She dreamed of becoming CEO but had protested my demotion—weighing her ambition against me. She liked me. That was the problem.
She had me pegged as some superstar employee. I needed to shatter that illusion and drop her favor.
"Stuff nymphs hate?"
Crinkle—.
Her golden eyes narrowed through the turban.
"Why would you want that?"
"Well..."
"Never mind. Everyone's got their reasons. Take this onion net. Just leave it home, and nymphs will bawl their eyes out and bolt."
The red mesh bag bulged with plump onions. So spicy my eyes watered just looking.
Perfect. Lady Melinoë would cry rivers. Favor plummeting.
Her golden eyes didn't even twitch. Impressive.
"These onions don't sting your eyes, ma'am?"
"My tears dried up ages ago. That'll be ten gold coins."
What? Ten gold? Highway robbery.
I fished out my coin pouch and dropped ten into her palm—clink clink—.
But she glared at the coins, stamped with Prince Zagreus's face.
"This money's weird."
"First time seeing new gold? Issued post-Business Renewal. Higher gold content than the old stuff."
That's when I noticed—no TV, no radio. Totally cut off. No wonder she didn't know new gold. I'd kinda clocked it when she didn't freak at my name like "Gasp! That Jo!"
Even better.
Mood lifted. I shelled out another ten for the honey ant candy jar.
"That should cover the info fee. So, how do I get to development HQ? Map app's outdated; navigation's a nightmare."
"Development HQ? No clue."
The sundries married lady shook her head. Ripped off.
"But if it's the laziest slob in the market, I know the spot. He blabbed about 'development something' when he first showed up."
"Ooh, where?"
"Third floor of this building."
Third floor.
I left the shop and climbed the rusted-handle stairs. Moldy stench like it hadn't been cleaned in years. Second floor empty—storage maybe.
Top floor: a sign reading "Market Development Hea—" The last bit of paint had flaked off.
This was it.
Paid twenty gold to find HQ right overhead. Smooth start.
Been a while since I was this unlucky. Thrilled, I knocked.
Knock knock knock—.
No answer.
Screech—.
Door wasn't locked. Inside: dusty office crammed with jars.
Snore—.
Feet on desk, a skeleton sprawled out snoring. Evoked Manager Bones or Manager Hector. Difference: lush red hair on the skull. And a cape.
"Are you the development HQ chairman, by chance?"
"Gyaaah!"
Crash!.
He jolted awake at my voice, tumbling off the desk.
###
The red-haired skeleton was indeed the development HQ chairman, as I'd guessed. He combed his locks in a mirror.
Brush brush brush—.
"So you're Jo, the new deputy chairman for Pandora Market development? Carving out a spot as vice head of Audit Team 1 before this?"
"Yes."
"No heads-up on a deputy coming. Not that HQ ever shares intel with trash like me. Tough break for you anyway."
"Me?"
"Vice head of Audit Team 1? Prime fast track. Whatever screw-up landed you here in this dump."
From HQ power player to deputy in a ghost town market. Blatant demotion.
"Your promotions, your glory—done. One rule here: keep food scraps outta the sewers so hell cockroaches don't swarm. That's it."
"Nothing else? Advice on duties ahead? Policies, directions?"
Gotta know to fail perfectly.
But the skeleton chairman paused mid-mirror, eyes on me.
Flicker—.
His red eyes blazed like an oil-soaked bonfire for a beat.
"Advice? Looks like you haven't clocked it yet, so here's my tip: abandon all hope once you're in. You're a banana peel in a trash can now. Like me!"
His tale mixed mockery of me with bitter self-pity.
"So you're saying no effort can save this trash heap of a place."
"Exactly! So roll with it like me. You saw it on the way: dead commerce. Dead merchants' spirits. This is a grave."
Office workers' graveyard?
I'd found it. My holy grail!
Joy so huge I nearly teared up.
Right then—
"Ahem! Heard big-nose screw-up Jo got shipped here?"
A bald guy barged in. Spotted me and burst out laughing—haha—.
"There you are! In this dusty dump! Jo, you dared reject me in that interview? Mocking me sealed your doom!"
"Sorry, who are you?"
"No way you forgot! I'm Manhwa Yongmun Gwideung, the one you bounced on interview day—."
"Jo! Jo, you really got demoted?"
Bang!.
Door flew open—another arrival. Crates, from my days in Happy World's Penalty Execution Dept.
"Even nymphs drown sometimes. Your downfall day was coming. Told ya not to rush the ladder."
"Audit Team 1's demoted vice head Jo here?"
Murmur murmur—.
My demotion news drawing crowds like it was headline drama.
"Line up! Line up! Want a word with Jo? Grab a number ticket here!"
"Jo! You in this wasteland? This Crowzer can't wrap his head around it!"
"Vice Head Jo! How'd you end up here...? But you're not vice head anymore, so what do I call you, Hedone...? Oppa...? Jo oppa!"
"This Carnoy doesn't get it, but there's some weird nymph vibe in this market...! More importantly, where's a restaurant? I'm starving...!"
Murmur murmur—.
Hordes flocking to gawk at me in Pandora Market.
"Ugh... coincidence! Pure luck! One-night wonder!"
As the skeleton chairman tore at his hair, I stood beside him, tears streaming too.
Too spicy.
The onions.