Joey Vice Chairman and the 13 Labors #3
In the midst of the major incident where the Hydra that escaped from Happy World's Monster Pen appeared by the riverside of Asphodel Plain, even Lady Melinoë, who had attended the emergency executive meeting, returned to the riverbank.
"Joey, are you hurt anywhere?"
Lady Melinoë circled around me, checking my condition. It had been so long since someone worried about my body that I felt unexpectedly touched.
"You're not hurt at all. To block the rampaging Hydra that escaped from the Monster Pen all by yourself without shedding a single drop of sweat."
"No, if we're talking sweat, I must have shed at least one drop. And it wasn't me who stopped the Hydra's advance—"
I didn't even get a chance to say it wasn't me. Safety Management Team Chief Marquius and Nixdoty, Prince Zagreus's first wife, were making a huge fuss.
"Princess! Vice Chairman Joey completely subdued that water serpent, which is tricky even for great heroes and executives! Hiya, I saw it with my own eyes—it gave me chills!"
"Puhehe! It's thanks to the serpent's tongue! That's why learning multiple languages is helpful!"
The truth was, it was a massive disaster caused by the "Serpent Voodoo" hanging on the bracelet in Lady Melinoë's hair. The bracelet started chatting with the Hydra on its own, hissing away?
But no one believed me.
"The bracelet speaks serpent language? Puhehe, as if! Vice Chairman Joey, you're such a prankster. Hassan used to say weird stuff like that too!"
Even Nixdoty, who had cast the "Serpent Voodoo" on me herself, wouldn't believe it... I felt so wronged.
This was all because of that Hydra that escaped the Monster Pen on its own.
Whoosh—!
In frustration, I glared fiercely at the water serpent. Marquius freaked out.
"To overwhelm that monstrous Hydra with just a glare—it's terrifying to even look at! Hiya, Joey! I, Marquius, truly acknowledge you!"
"Joey's competence isn't news from just yesterday or today. He has clear reasons and goals to aim even higher. Taking down a Hydra without lifting a finger is only natural."
Lady Melinoë said this with a strangely proud look, as if she had accomplished something great. She puffed out her chest and snorted—making me feel embarrassed for no reason.
"So, why is this thing still here?"
I tried to cool down the overheated "Joey Praise Fest" by changing the subject.
Lady Melinoë shrugged.
"Joey, you've probably noticed, but this is the work of those Tartarus bastards. They caused trouble at the Monster Pen to release the caged beasts and stir up chaos."
Those guys are real scum. If Tartarus had stayed quiet, I wouldn't have racked up this achievement.
Thinking back, every time I got tangled with the rebels, nothing good came of it.
"Then I'll take this Hydra back to the Monster Pen. Joey, thanks to you stepping up, we wrapped this up smoothly. I even got some Divine Shares from Zagreus."
Lady Melinoë reached into the air. Ghost souls popped out from all directions.
—Hooo, hooo…!
—Hoooouuu…!
The round, fluffy ghosts wrapped around the Hydra's body. The Hydra let out a pitiful wail.
—Sheeeek—!
Dragging it back to the Monster Pen like this would end the incident. But on second thought, letting it end here wouldn't compensate for the damage I'd suffered because of this Hydra.
"Lady Melinoë. Hold on a second."
"Yes?"
"Leave the water serpent to me. Locking it up like this won't solve the root problem. If the rebels target the Monster Pen again, the Hydra will just escape once more."
"Joey, are you saying we need to find and fix the reason the Hydra wants to escape? Even I, the perfect goddess, haven't reached that far."
Why does a caged animal try to escape?
'Obviously because it's caged.'
Any creature deprived of freedom naturally yearns to break into the wider world. No one knows that burning desire better than I do.
In other words, the root issue is that longing for freedom—and no one can solve it without setting the Hydra free.
"Lady Melinoë, how about releasing the Hydra into the wild, depending on the circumstances?"
"No way. The Hydra is a Grade-1 monster dangerous even to executives. If it roams Soul Society as a wild beast, incidents are inevitable."
Releasing the Hydra is absolutely impossible. Perfect. If time passes like this, I'll end up as the guy who boasted without the ability to solve it.
—Shhhht…!
Then the Hydra's nine heads cried out loudly. Tears welled up in their beady eyes.
Nixdoty was shocked.
"Vice Chairman Joey! The Hydra says it can't understand your words, but it gets that you're sincerely trying to help it gain freedom!"
"What?"
"So, to not trouble you, it's willing to return to its cage in the Monster Pen on its own!"
What? What kind of nonsense—
At this point, I suspected Nixdoty was just making stuff up. But sure enough, the Hydra slithered toward the valley where the Monster Pen was.
It was a hair-raising sight.
"Don't go! Is this really okay? Spending your life caged, eating only the feed you're given—can you really accept that fate? Speak your true heart! Say you want to live!"
I scolded the cowardly serpent. One of its long necks turned toward me.
Shaaak—!
Something shot from the serpent's mouth in an instant. Poison? Maybe I'd been too rude to the mythical monster, and it spat venom at me.
"Joey, danger!"
Lady Melinoë jumped in front of me. I was shocked.
The Hydra's poison was agonizing even to gods.
"Lady Melinoë! Are you okay?!"
To think she'd block the poison with her own body for me. I felt panicked, sorry, and tense.
"I'm fine. It's not poison. This is… what is it? A transparent, round orb."
What the Hydra spat out was a glass orb the size of a soccer ball. Mysterious, but beautifully iridescent.
###
"Many visitors have flocked to the Monster Pen to see the escaped 'Hydra'."
"Sympathy for the freedom-longing Hydra is spreading, and the headquarters Welfare Team has promised improvements to its breeding environment."
"Meanwhile, the Monster Lover Association advocates for the natural release of monsters—"
The day after the massive serpent's escape, people swarmed the Monster Pen, home to all sorts of mythical beasts from Greek legends. In truth, the Monster Pen was basically Soul Society's zoo.
"Mhehehe, taste the special candy our nymphs prepared~!"
"This Carnoy doesn't get it, but eating this 'weird candy' often might evolve the Hydra into a Lurker...! Though this Carnoy has no idea what a Lurker is...!"
On the news, the Hydra munched fruits and candies tossed its way with its many mouths, smiling cheekily.
—Shhht.
I still didn't understand serpent language, but it was clear the thing had chosen to be a well-fed serpent over a freedom-starved Socrates.
Gutless snake. I won't end up like the Hydra.
No matter how sweet and shiny the honey and gold coins Soul Society offers, I'll never give up my longing for the surface.
Knock knock knock.
As I prepared for work, someone knocked on our door.
'Lady Melinoë, maybe?' No, unlikely. She'd gone into secluded training for days to absorb the 5.5% Divine Shares from Prince Zagreus.
Then who?
"It's me."
—Kyang…!
It was Lord Moros. And his hellhound pup too.
"Lord Moros, what brings you to our home so early?"
"I came about the Hydra incident yesterday. I heard you received a glass orb from it. Can you show it to me?"
"Of course."
I showed him the sparkling glass orb. Lord Moros's purple eyes flickered strangely as he sighed.
"I suspected as much. This belongs to my sisters, the Fates, the Moirai. They went missing yesterday. No reports yet, but it'll spread soon."
The goddesses of fate missing? If true, that's a massive incident.
"Joey, you've probably figured it out, but it's the Tartarus bastards. They attacked the Monster Pen, released the Hydra to draw attention, and kidnapped my sisters in the chaos."
"Lord Moros, I've heard the Moirai can control fate. If they fall into rebel hands, isn't that incredibly dangerous?"
"Indeed. But fortune favors us. With their most precious crystal orb here, my sisters are powerless without it—like ordinary women."
This orb was that important? I'd better keep last night's bowling game with it a lifelong secret.
"I don't know why it was with the Hydra, but Joey, it's good you—who understands women's hearts and serpent tongues—convinced and sweet-talked it."
"Women's hearts?"
"Yes, the Hydra's female."
...What does the Hydra's gender have to do with me? Of course, I wasn't foolish enough to say that to the god of doom.
Misinterpreting my silence as agreement, Lord Moros continued.
"Vice Chairman Joey, I came to entrust you with a task. You're aiming for an executive position with all your heart. This will greatly help. However!"
He put on a solemn expression.
"This involves executives, so the rewards will be substantial. But it could also be extremely perilous. Frankly, the risks are several times higher."
"So, what do you need me to do?"
"Go to the Monster Pen starting today. You already know what to do without me saying more."
...I have no idea what to do?
This might actually work out. I'll go to the Monster Pen and do absolutely nothing!