Joey Vice Chairman and the 13 Labors #2
“Joey, you're home awfully late today.”
Melinoë was waiting for me at the front door again. My heart sank.
It had been a fortnight since our contractual romance began, but I still couldn't get used to her waiting for me to get off work.
“Joey, why are you staring at me like that?”
She must have noticed I had something to say. As expected of the goddess of ghosts—her intuition was downright supernatural.
Should I ask her? Or just hold it in?
It might come off as rude. Common sense said to swallow impolite questions, but was this the time to care about that?
In the end, I spat out the words I'd been mumbling under my breath.
“Have you ever heard about the '13 Labors' that the Molru Noi imposed?”
“You're talking about those rumors floating around. They say that whoever completes all 13 Labors will trigger something unprecedented. Who knew you'd be interested in such tales, Joey.”
Melinoë's eyes narrowed into thin slits.
“It's just childish nonsense. There are rumors of 13 labors, but no one knows what they actually are—except maybe the final 13th one.”
“The last labor... you're talking about the Fantastic Nymph, right?”
“Yes. The tale of the 'mysterious nymph' whose true identity no one can uncover. Even I, NEO, the executive in charge of all nymphs, have no idea if she even exists.”
Her fingers weren't twitching at all as she said it. She really seemed clueless.
I think I know, though.
What if I grabbed Melinoë by the side right now—would that count as capturing the Fantastic Nymph?
I had that irreverent thought as I punched in the code for the door lock.
“Joey, let's go for a walk today.”
Suddenly? Actually, perfect timing. Better to stroll outside with this wildcard than let her into the house.
And so, Melinoë and I headed out for a walk.
The riverbank of the Asphodel Plain was sparsely populated, comfortably cool, with stars shining bright—ideal for an evening stroll.
“Joey, I heard you got tickets from the new sister in the Welfare Team. Vouchers for a lovers' resort, right?”
As we walked leisurely along the river, Melinoë brought up the tickets.
How did she even know about my Earth trip vouchers? Her face was full of displeasure, though.
“Joey, I'm bound here by ancient promises and chains, unable to leave Soul Society. But you're not—so go to Earth alone if you want.”
They say when you get a girlfriend, moments like this come up.
She says it's fine—but really, it's not.
She says go ahead—but you absolutely shouldn't.
This is one of those times.
Melinoë said I could go alone, but if I actually did and came back to Soul Society, who knows what hell I'd face.
I might end up in a terrifying situation.
“Of course, you couldn't leave me behind and depart Soul Society. For someone with a perfect goddess like me as a lover, abandoning my side is harder than a nymph quitting special honey candy.”
“That's...”
“But it's just for a day, isn't it? You're from Earth, Joey, and you must miss the real stars and sun up there sometimes. So don't worry about me—go.”
Her fingers were fidgeting like mad as she spoke.
What could I say here to survive wisely?
Then it happened.
Shoooo...
A meteor shower rained down from Soul Society's night sky.
“Joey, I heard the forecast said there'd be a meteor shower tonight. I wanted to show it to you.”
“To me?”
So that's why she suggested the walk.
Melinoë looked up, her eyes flickering like a campfire laden with kindling, distant and wistful.
“Beautiful. My immortal life as a goddess will go on eternally, beautifully, like those stars. But this scene... I don't think I'll ever forget it, no matter how much time passes.”
I'd feel the same. Wherever I ended up, today's walk with the goddess would be unforgettable.
Rustle...
Suddenly, the bushes stirred, and small creatures approached Melinoë—squirrels, spiders, tiny beasts.
They climbed onto her shoulders or perched on her head.
She frowned, seemingly flustered.
“Why are these things acting up? Shoo!”
As she flailed to chase them off, I recalled tales of nymphs.
Nature spirits like nymphs bond quickly with small animals—bees, sparrows, you name it.
Maybe Melinoë, possibly the Fantastic Nymph, had that trait too.
But I couldn't say it's because you're a nymph on pain of death.
So I told a white lie.
“Maybe the animals can sense you're a beautiful goddess.”
“Exactly.”
...Exactly my ass.
Melinoë had her fun side if you looked closely.
Beep beep.
Her terminal chimed.
“Emergency executive meeting. Joey, I think I have to head back.”
Whoosh.
She summoned a ghost cloud and flew off into the distance.
The executives took their seats in the conference room, faces grim, dark, and deadly serious.
With the dour-faced Chairman at the head, Prince Zagreus stood and led the meeting.
“You all know why I've called you. Tartarus is on the move. Their location is probably here—.”
Thwack.
Zagreus pointed at the Soul Society map on the table. The executives groaned at the word Monster Pen under his fingertip.
“No way.”
“Worst-case scenario.”
Wooo-ooo-ooo.
Sirens blared through headquarters.
Disaster alerts pinged on the executives' terminals.
The mega-monster Hydra had escaped the Monster Pen.
Letting it roam free would send the underworld's stock prices crashing like waves.
So Zagreus made a big offer.
“To the executive who captures Hydra and locks it back up, I'll give 10% of my 55% stake. The situation's urgent, and it's worth that much.”
“That's about 5.5%.”
“The prince is going all out.”
The executives were impressed, but no one stepped up.
“Hydra venom hurts like hell.”
“We're immortals, so we won't die, but still.”
“Megaera hates Hydra!”
Hydra's poison was agony, so even immortal executives dreaded it. Like shoving a honey-coated hand into a furious wasp nest.
As they eyed each other warily, someone raised a hand.
Swish.
Princess Melinoë.
“I'll handle the Hydra.”
Zagreus's 5.5% stake—a golden chance for her.
Plus, the Monster Pen is close to Joey's house.
Leaving it unchecked might destroy his home.
If it hit residential areas, casualties and damage would be massive.
“No time to waste. I'll go.”
But then, shocking news.
“Prince! Hydra's veered off the expected path—skipping Happy World's residential area and heading to the Asphodel Plain riverbank!”
The rampaging Hydra changed course to a sparsely populated spot?
What the hell?
As everyone marveled at the luck, on-site Manager Marquius reported via terminal.
“Hell cacti! Hydra's fleeing from the hell cacti! Happy World's residential zones are planted full of them!”
The mega-monster fleeing hell cacti?
Just as executives hated Hydra venom, Hydra loathed cactus spines.
“Vice Chairman Joey, did you foresee this and plant hell cacti all over Happy World's homes?!”
Marquius was awestruck by one employee's foresight.
But Melinoë's hair stood on end.
Joey's at the Asphodel riverbank right now...
I've heard stories of people picking up birds on park walks.
But I bet no one's ever picked up a giant snake with nine heads.
Hissssss...!
The massive water serpent Hydra appeared out of nowhere.
When even heroes and gods feared mega-monsters showed up before me, my vision went black.
I was just walking—why me?
Should've gone home instead of walking with Melinoë!
Hiss hiss...!
Then my bracelet started chattering.
Why did it feel even more ominous than facing the nine-headed beast?
Hydra confirmed it, bellowing with all its mouths.
Hissssss...!
With that, Hydra bowed all nine heads before me.
Like it was politely greeting me.
I couldn't process the situation.
Then Manager Marquius from the Safety Team came panting from afar and saw it all.
“Holy crap, you didn't just beat Hydra—you fully subjugated it! I thought I was unflappable by now, but you keep surprising me in new ways!”
Soon, pink-haired twin-tailed goddess Nixdoty appeared on the plain, joining Marquius in the fuss.
“Vice Chairman Joey! Hydra says it's super impressed by your fluent snake tongue! It wants you to hear its sob story. Promises solid compensation!”
“Holy crap, Joey. Ghost language wasn't enough—you studied snake speech too? This Marquius officially acknowledges you! Your skills are insane!”
“Ooh, hiss...”
Hissssss...!
“Gasp! Vice Chairman Joey accepted Hydra's quest! That pronunciation was spot-on snake—no flaws! I fancy myself good at snake language, but even I can't match that!”