067 – Married Women's Hell #3

"I'm starting to feel like I'm going bald."

Hector, the department head. Over the past few days, he'd felt himself aging even more. Not that he had any hair to lose in the first place, being a skeleton and all.

"Bones, it's already been two days."

"What is it?"

"It's been two days since Section Chief Jo summoned the prince's second wife, Ms. Elfridi, for investigation. Bones, have you ever seen crowds gathering in front of headquarters? Elves, I mean."

"Well, I spend most of my day here by the lake, so... Foreign elves swarming in? That must be quite the sight."

The former Happy World department head, Bones, was perfectly content with his life as the lake's fishing grounds manager. He paid little attention to the happenings at Soul Society. As long as he could be with his wife and daughter, that was enough.

'Thanks to Jo.'

On the other hand, the reason Hector was racking his brains was also that same Jo.

"Bones, I'm jealous of you. Maybe ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I should just quit and enjoy a peaceful retirement too. Pressured from above, pushed from below—social life sure ain't easy."

"Hector, have a little more faith in Jo. As you know, if you trust and follow that man, he'll deliver astonishing results. I've never seen a sharper blade."

"The problem is it cuts my hand too, with no hilt to hold."

Hector stood up. Staring at the lake calmed his mind a bit. And so he returned to headquarters.

With the "Business Renewal" in full swing, elves who had infiltrated Soul Society everywhere were now gathered in one place, holding pickets and protesting.

As far as Hector knew, the prince's second wife, Elfridi, was a foreign species—an "elf sorceress." She'd met the prince back when he was adventuring on the surface like a human. Elves wielded the mysterious power of "magic," a tremendously useful ability that had allowed them to steadily expand their influence throughout Soul Society.

"Jo, any progress?"

Hector asked Jo as he emerged from the interrogation room. Jo's eyes were ringed with deep dark circles from two sleepless days. But his expression was brighter than ever.

"She's an impressive one. Clear signs of bribery and corruption, yet not a shred of evidence or even a minor clue. The wives' association truly is a terrifying organization."

A smile bloomed on Section Chief Jo's face like a flower. A man starting a hopelessly disadvantageous fight, and he was smiling.

'You're the scary one!'

Hector couldn't bring himself to say it aloud, so he just patted his back.

This unprecedented case of a surprise wives' association audit was giving Audit Team 1's executive, Alecto, a headache too.

"Jo, how about releasing the elf now? We might still pass it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠off ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠like nothing happened. The wives' association is a hornet's nest even our executives don't touch lightly!"

The scary thing about the wives' association was their tight-knit network of wives. Some were even executives' wives, so even the top brass hesitated to interfere. Of course, everyone knew it wasn't right for outsiders—non-employees—to control promotions and success at Soul Society. But no one knew where or how to start fixing it. And no one wanted to step up. That was why even the "CEO" had stayed silent. Especially after Zagreus the prince's second wife became vice president—they'd only grown more unstoppable. No one could halt their dominance. Or so everyone thought—until Section Chief Jo boldly stepped up.

"Someone had to do it. But why now, of all times?"

Alecto felt Jo had acted too rashly. If this failed, he'd be sidelined from promotions forever. She was an ancient goddess, but she couldn't fathom Jo's thoughts, and that terrified her.

"Section Chief Jo, could you get me some water? I've been cooperating with the investigation for two whole days—surely a glass of water is fine?"

Zagreus the prince's second wife was a stunningly beautiful married woman. Dignified and haughty, she reminded him of Lady Melinoë—but more mature and prickly.

"Here."

I handed her the water, and Elfridi downed it refreshingly. She slammed the cup down and spoke.

"So, mind asking something already? It's boring just sitting here. Ask me anything."

"……."

I didn't answer. Just buying time.

As our brief exchange showed, since bringing this elf wife to the interrogation room, I hadn't asked a single question. Why? Obviously, to fail this investigation. What could be more foolproof?

But two days of confinement had bored her, so the elf princess consort started talking first.

"Section Chief Jo, you're like me. An impurity that doesn't fit in Soul Society. I'm a foreign elf, and you're a living human."

"Hey, answer only what I ask."

"You're not asking anything. Shall I ask instead? How do you survive in this death-charged land? You don't seem to wield magic. How does an ordinary body endure Happy World's poison?"

"Nothing special."

"Vague answer. Keeping secrets? Fine, I have ways."

That's when I sensed something off. My body wouldn't move.

"Huh?"

"You resist death energy, but not hypnosis? When I set the cup down, you fell under my hypnosis spell."

What? Hypnosis magic? As if such bullshit magic existed!

"Now, you'll answer my questions honestly. Got it? Say, 'I love elves.'"

"Elves are so goo—nghghgh!"

I desperately fought my mouth moving on its own. If I succumbed, who knew what I'd spill.

"Oh? Resisting my hypnosis? Your subconscious ego must be incredibly strong. But how long? You're close to Melinoë, right? What's your relationship?"

"Nghghgh!"

This, I absolutely couldn't say! Never! NEVER!

That's when it happened.

"How dare you mess with my employee—you've revealed your foreign kind's true colors!"

The interrogation room door burst open, and in stormed Lady Melinoë in her black suit. Relief and shock hit me simultaneously—a bizarre sensation. Dodging a witch's mind-probing was good, but the nightmare goddess's arrival foreshadowed ominous futures.

"You're Hassan's sister? First time meeting since the wedding. But calling me foreign? Shouldn't it be 'sister-in-law'?"

"No compromise for harming my employee. Ghost parade!"

—Whoooosh...

—Whooooosh...

Ghost souls appeared from nowhere, lunging at the wicked hypnotist elf witch. Fluffy, round ghosts enveloped her instantly.

"What is this?! What're these squishy, fluffy things?! Get them off!"

Lady Melinoë's face was deadly serious. She clenched her fists.

"Forcing an Honorary Nymph like Jo to say he likes foreign elves? That's how you've expanded your influence—unclean methods. Unforgivable."

"What're you babbling?! Get these ghosts off!"

Thud thud thud thud thud—

Lady Melinoë ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠charged the elf witch, pummeling her with fists. I couldn't stop her in time.

"Aaaah!"

"Meli-meli-meli-meli!"

She looked less like a perfect, beautiful goddess and more like—

"What a huge scandal! Who'd have thought the wives' association would really disband? With Princess Melinoë clashing with Princess Consort Elfridi over it, even the chairman couldn't stay out."

The incident had ballooned so much that even the executives who'd turned a blind eye couldn't anymore. Thus, the wives' association held an emergency executive meeting and voted unanimously to disband.

"From now on, the new 'Married Women's Fellowship' will take its place. With Persephone herself managing it directly, no more issues like before."

"...I see."

"Don't you have a special bond with Persephone? You benefited most from the wives' association's dissolution and the new fellowship's founding."

Hector's eye sockets gleamed fiercely. His ribs rattled.

"Section Chief Jo, did you predict all this? I'm starting to fear you more and more. What are you really after...?"

"I'm scared of myself too."

"...Gasp!"

I brushed past the trembling Hector and exited the building. Seeking healing amid the cactus fields, alluring women approached. I instantly pegged them as married.

"You ladies from the wives' association...?"

"Section Chief Jo."

"Chief."

Their faces were gravely serious. Revenge for dismantling their group? I'd accept it gladly—when someone appeared. Andromache, Hector's wife.

"Section Chief Jo, thank you so much for disbanding the wives' association. We were... trapped in that organization for so long, forced into cruel comparisons and gossiping about others."

They bowed deeply to me.

"Thanks to you, Section Chief Jo... we can finally break free from those chains and ascend in peace. It's been ages since my heart felt this light..."

Hold on—

"Ascend? Isn't that a problem?"

What happens if you ascend from Soul Society? As I tensed, Andromache smiled brightly, her dark circles faded.

"Just a figure of speech. But you might have earned Zagreus the prince's enmity. Huge embarrassment for his second wife..."

That was actually good. Then, someone popped out with a whoosh.

"Don't worry about that! Elfridi's been nasty to people lately. Taking illegal bribes too! Puhehe! Self-inflicted, honestly! Even Hassan admits it!"

—Kyang kyang!

It was Nixdoty, Zagreus's first wife. She'd quelled the prince's anger via pillow talk.

Guh...

Tears welled up. Seeing me cry, the married women teared up too.

"Our 'Married Women's Fellowship' will officially support and sponsor you from now on!"

"Persephone herself will grant you the title "Guardian of Married Women"!"

"Hooray!"

"Fighting for deputy chief promotion too!"

Me, Jo. "Happy World's Demon". "Honorary Nymph". "Guardian of Married Women".

And still—trapped in hell, unable to escape.