060 – Snake Voodoo #1
In front of an office door with a bizarre and suspicious title attached, I hesitated countless times.
Should I just bolt back to the surface?
Of course, no matter how many simulations I ran in my head, I always got blocked at the Entry-Exit Control Office. The promising employee's escape. All the goodwill heading my way could flip to resentment in an instant. In a Greek mythology world, what happens if you piss off the gods? I couldn't even fathom the horrific curses and fateful karma I'd shoulder. And the gods around me were the notoriously terrifying ones from the underworld. The nightmare goddess Melinoë was the prime example.
Hoo...
I stood in front of that nightmare goddess's office, agonizing over it endlessly.
Creak—
Then the door swung open on its own. My eyes met Melinoë's as she sat primly in her office chair.
"Don't just stand there—come in. Feeling shy now, Jo Iseo? You have your cute side after all. We've even shared a bed in the same house."
...That's exactly why I don't want to go in. I'd shoved that one-night memory into the deepest corner of my mind!
"Then, if you'll excuse me."
Step, step.
With no other choice, I cautiously entered the office. The door that had opened on its own now closed with a soft click. Automatic door? No. Probably Melinoë using her divine powers.
"Lady Melinoë, I heard you summoned me."
"You already know, but I've reaped huge benefits from this Moros and Hell Cockroach incident. I unraveled the Night Voodoo, you found the cockroach, and it prevented the case from blowing up."
She let out a soft fu-fu laugh.
"Moros transferred 2% of his Divine Shares to me, bringing my total to 17% of the world. Of course, it's still far from Zagreus's stake, but undeniable progress."
17% Miracle Shares. Considering the average executive held around 15%, Melinoë was solidly upper management now.
"Thus, it's only right to reward you, Jo Iseo, for your major contributions. Plus, now that you've been promoted to head office section chief, there are all sorts of precautions I need to brief you on."
"Precautions?"
"A head office mid-level manager's authority rivals that of most independent gods. So, there are more rules to follow and more things to watch out for."
'Independent gods' was a new term. Probably meant self-sustaining deities not affiliated with the massive headquarters. Gods of tiny streams or valleys. Even they wielded immense power incomparable to mortals. But at section chief level, you could stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them.
A mere mortal rivaling gods. What staggering authority. And now I had it. It made me so sad I could cry.
"I hear that at the Olympian Heavenly Council's section chief level on the surface, you can get the constellation service at your funeral. You've earned that right now, Jo Iseo."
"C-Constellation...!?"
I panicked. Me, turned into a constellation? That meant taxidermying my corpse as a memorial after death! It was my top-three most dreaded endings: No. 3!
"For mortals like you, becoming a constellation is the ultimate honor. Of course, Soul Society has no stars visible, so we don't offer that perk."
Phew. My indigestion vanished. Dodged the constellation taxidermy bullet.
As I sighed in relief, Melinoë flinched slightly.
"Of course! That doesn't mean our head office mid-managers get inferior benefits to the Heavenly Council's staff. We run a tailored tutoring system just for mortal employees."
Tutoring. In other words, a patron line.
"So section chiefs and up get a patron line."
"Bluntly put, yes."
There are 'Champions' in Greek myth—proxies who fight on behalf of gods. Perseus, who beheaded Medusa, was one. Backed by countless gods, he became a legendary hero.
In short, from section chief onward, you could institutionally receive such divine backing from executives. Terrifying news for me.
"Bragging about how great their backed mortal is? It's a petty hobby among executives. So they compete to snag competent mid-managers. You'll have it too."
Executives competing over me? I could already hear the shrimp's back cracking in the whales' fight.
"Of course, Jo Iseo, you'll choose me—your most cherished and loyal patron, Melinoë. So, as thanks, I've prepared this."
Shh.
Melinoë opened her palm. A bag of honey candy rustled into view.
"...A candy bag?"
Ahem! "What are you saying? I have no idea. Your real gift is this."
Princess Melinoë hurriedly opened her other hand. Inside was...
# # #
"Section Chief Jo! Come on in! The new backbone of our Audit Team!"
I dragged my heavy feet into the Audit Team office, and Alecto approached, slapping my back with her palm. Smack-smack.
Ow. Like getting spiked by a pro volleyball serve?
"Now that you're section chief, time to pick your line. As an Audit Team family member, you'll naturally follow our 'Night Faction' line. So, here's your token."
Alecto fiddled with the wings she'd been grooming all shift, then pluck—yanked out a feather and offered it.
"We Night Daughters don't give our feathers to just anyone. Consider it an honor."
Like an emperor bestowing a tiger tally.
"Lightning-fast promotions and a rock-solid line. Man, Narcissus here never envies others, but Jo Iseo—you're making me jealous. Wait, should I switch to formal speech now...?"
"Haha! At this rate, my deputy spot might be in jeopardy soon!"
The Audit Team buzzed with excitement. No jealousy for their rising star—just pure goodwill in their eyes.
"Take the feather quick, Section Chief Jo!"
"Section Chief Jo!"
Section chief. Who'd have thought I'd hear that nightmare title again. But I couldn't bring myself to grab the feather.
"Lady Alecto, I've already received a token from Lady Melinoë."
Shh.
I showed my wrist. Alecto gaped in shock.
"From that Melinoë? Impressive. That prickly princess bestowing a token on a mere employee? First time ever? Let me see—an armlet?"
As she said, a simple bracelet adorned my wrist. No frills. But eyeing the pitch-black cord, Alecto marveled more.
"That's Melinoë's hair! Wow, what a treasure! Her hair has insane voodoo effects. Natural for the goddess of nightmares and ghosts."
A bracelet from the goddess's own hair. Take it topside, and it'd pass as a holy relic no question.
"Melinoë meshes well with our 'Night Faction', so stacking my token on top is fine. She learned Night Voodoo from my mom ages ago."
Night Voodoo—sinister magic drawing from night and darkness.
So Melinoë knew that stuff.
"Here, like this."
Shh.
Alecto pressed her feather to my bracelet, adding a tiny feather charm. Night Voodoo too?
"Flash this feather in 'Night Faction' matters, and you'll get smoother cooperation. Though my siblings are a wild bunch—variables abound."
"Then take my gift too, Section Chief Jo!"
"Take mine, Narcissus's gift. Bet you'll like it best. My photo book isn't for just anyone."
"This is from my friend Hedone—she asked me to pass it!"
Rumble-rumble.
Gifts piled up on my desk again. Déjà vu. This was a nightmare. I'd thought my Happy World hell days ended with the head office transfer, but it lingered.
Beep-beep-beeeep.
Wooo-ooo-ooo!
Sudden blaring alarms and sirens. What? Commies invading? Felt like a civil defense drill.
First time, so I panicked a bit. Narcissus peered out the window and whistled.
"Already that time again? Been quiet the last few years, though."
"What's going on?"
I asked. Narcissus hemmed and hawed.
"Speak casually like always. Rank's higher, but I'm still a total noob in most areas."
"R-Really? First time since you started, Jo Iseo. These things pop up occasionally. Official memo incoming soon."
As he said, the memo hit our Hermes Net shortly after—from the Chairman himself.
"Each team, dispatch one employee to assemble and await orders in front of headquarters."
"Mandatory armament: weapons and protective gear."
Familiar vibe. Early in my Happy World days, we'd mobilized like this to exterminate Hell Cockroaches infesting the building basement.
Clap-clap.
Alecto clapped to rally us.
"Who from our department? Narcissus, you go? Barely escaped demotion—show some hustle, man."
"Ugh, obviously me!"
Whatever it was, dumping it on the expendable Narcissus screamed tedious, messy, tough job. Military rule: "One from each barracks to admin"—always a pain.
And then—a brilliant idea flashed.
No law saying I had to die.
"I'll go."
Didn't even know what it was. Perfect. Everyone fumbles their first time.
Then they'll laugh at me, right?
Mood? Berry good!
Narcissus teared up.
"Jo Iseo, you...! Knew you cherished your colleagues, but volunteering for the dirty, grueling work...?"
"Bones called you a merit-mad demon—I doubted it. Section Chief Jo, no one works as hardcore. Even this Hector's scared."
They fawned. I headed to the vast plaza before headquarters. Department reps trickled in. Affiliates too, in teams.
"Section Chief Jo!"
Crowzer waving. Headache incoming.
"Section Chief Jo, I'm scared! First subjugation squad for me. Musician like me's useless in combat... Guess I'll just trail behind you!"
Trailing me? This deadweight!
Actually, perfect.
Near ink, one turns black. Next to this black sheep, I'd blend right in. His deadweight aura might rub off.
"Ah! Section Chief Jo! Fancy meeting here!"
From afar, a yellow chick-like disaster bounded over. Hedone latched onto my arm.
"Stick by Section Chief Jo, and everything's solved! Oh yeah! Total fate!"
I grabbed my communicator, yelling.
"Narcissus! Swap with me! Doesn't feel right for a head office chief to charge the field!"
"A boss radiating authority to the team! This is head office chief...!? Too... too cool...!"
"Heh, Hedone's dead! First subjugation casualty of the year! This Crowzer saw it with his own eyes! That 'thing' must've voodoo'd her!"
"Damn! Casualty already? Charge! Charge!"
Rumble-rumble.
The crowd surged like a wave. Frail mortal like me? Swept away like sand.
"Gaaah!"
"As expected of Section Chief Jo! Roaring for Hedone's vengeance! Your grudge-filled cry tingles even this Crowzer!"
"Head office chief in the subjugation squad. This'll be a show."
"Tch, might not even get my turn."