If You Can't Enjoy It, Go Insane #2

Happy World was pretty vast. With all sorts of souls living there, it was packed with all kinds of places and facilities.

Speaking of the bustling Nix Street, it was so crowded and noisy it bordered on chaotic.

"Selling Earth goods! Freshly shipped from the surface by Hermes Merchant House!"

"Come on, anyone wanting to contact loved ones on Earth! 100 gold for a chance!"

"Selling Nymphendo 2 Switch! Buy now before the great CEO hikes tariffs on surface items!"

The Hermes Merchant House, which mainly dealt in Earth products, was located right on Nix Street.

"Branch manager? You around?"

"Aigoo, Joey! Long time no see. I've been hearing all about you around Happy World lately."

The Happy World branch manager, a skeleton, clacked his teeth—clack clack—while rubbing his bony palms together.

He looked like a low-level skeleton mook from a game, but even in this barren underworld, he had a reputation as a shrewd merchant with real savvy.

"How's Bones doing?"

"Manager Bones is doing too well. That's the problem."

"Clack clack clack! Is that right? Man, I miss him! Bones and Keleton—we golden generation recruits. Somehow I got pushed off the promotion track and ended up starting my own business!"

"Ahem, Mr. Keleton, about this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠new communication service to the surface... Could I use it too? There's someone I want to reach out to. My mom."

It seemed like a newly added product. My heart raced with rare anticipation.

"Of course you can. But Joey, you know it's one-way only, right? It just projects your image briefly into her dreams—"

"How much?"

Tap tap. The branch manager tapped the signboard with his bony fingers.

100 gold was easily worth several years of my salary. Unfortunately, I'd blown most of my cash on hell cacti and flower fields, so I could only smack my lips in regret.

Mr. Keleton rubbed his palms slyly and made a subtle pitch.

"The reason we can even contact the surface like this is all thanks to Sisyphus Energy hitting all-time highs with surplus power. I hear that's all because of you, Joey. True?"

"Coincidence."

"Haha, so humble! Since we'll be counting on you for more in the future, how about a little service? Calls might be tough, but viewing is possible."

"Oh? Sounds good."

And that's how I ended up peering into that bizarre well. A treasure called the Well of Darkness.

"Gaze into that pitch-black water, and it'll project the person you want to see. Focus your wish in your heart."

Neat trick. As I thought of Mom and peered in—

—Professor, you already covered all my medical bills, and now you're even getting me a job. I'm truly grateful. Luckily, I'm confident in my housekeeping skills.

—Haha! Iseo's like a son to me, so his mom must be family too. With him working abroad and out of touch, it's the least I can do to look after her.

Mom and the professor? Looked like she'd taken a housekeeping job at his place. I'd done all the odd jobs as a grad student—now it was her turn? Still, hearing he'd covered her bills and cared for her until full recovery was a relief. She seemed to be doing well.

—Ma'am, how about a movie after work?

—Oh, Professor, you have a wife! Hohoho—

Wait, what the hell? Why was the professor hitting on my mom?

Squelch.

My mind must've wandered because the images in the well faded.

"Gah! Show me those two again—now!"

Ooze.

My desperate wish reached it, and the well showed someone else.

—Probably just business talk with a female employee...

—But if he's got ulterior motives toward another woman...

It was Melinoë in meditation pose on a chair. Why her all of a sudden?

—Who's there? Daring to disturb my meditation.

Her eyes snapped open, glaring right at me. I flinched hard, and Mr. Keleton hurriedly slammed the lid shut.

"Aigoo! Joey, spying on execs is dangerous! Know Actaeon? Peeped on a goddess bathing and turned into a stag! You'd be next!"

"No, I didn't mean to—"

"Ah, must've been a glitch! Thought stable power would fix that. Sorry about that."

And my peeping session ended like that.

'Next thing you know, the professor's my new stepdad!'

One more reason to escape Happy World ASAP and return to the surface. To do that, I needed to piss off that horned devil.

"Kept you waiting?"

Astarote from the Audit Team crossed her arms and shot me a warning glare as I exited the shop.

"Personal errands in the market during work hours? Leaving your Audit Team escort to do it? Ballsy guy."

"You logging the demerits properly?"

"Obviously."

Good, good. Right on track.

"But why are you wandering alone, Ms. Astarote? I heard Audit Team staff usually go in threes, like the Furies."

I'd wondered while strolling the market.

She snorted.

"I prefer solo."

###

'Slacking off openly during work hours. Didn't expect Section Chief Joey to be this lazy. Was the "Happy World Devil" rumor exaggerated?'

Astarote slashed her internal score of Section Chief Joey.

Disappointing fit the bill.

She'd figured a "devil" would be cold and solitary like her. But he just seemed ordinary.

Then, while scouting the market like a foodie, he stopped at a shop.

"Heaven Company Happy World Branch...? Didn't know this place existed."

"Huh?"

Astarote was shocked. Heaven Company—her old HQ before being dispatched here. Like going back to her roots.

"When did this open? When?!"

"Let's check it out."

Slide. Joey stepped through the automatic door.

Astarote started to follow, nostalgic haze clouding her mind, but—flinch—snapped out of it.

"I'm not going in. On duty."

"Too bad. Looks like fun stuff. What's this Tree of Knowledge Tanghulu? What happens if you eat it?"

"...What? Tree of—ahem. Not interested. On duty."

Tree of Knowledge Tanghulu. That sweet-tart forbidden flavor made her mouth water just imagining it. Devilishly tempting! She'd hit it up after work.

But a problem.

Business Hours: 9:00~18:00

Her shifts were always 9 to 19. The shop closed before she clocked out.

Confirming this, she asked a clerk sweeping the entrance.

"Sundays? Open ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Sundays?"

"Miss, you must not know, but us Heaven Company folks rest Sundays. Closing time's strict too. Ahh, life's better here with 'time' introduced."

Happy World originally lacked time concepts, but Joey's achievements brought it everywhere. Hence the 18:00 close.

'What?! Then I can never go! Joey, did you bring in time with Cronus just to torture me...?!'

No.

'Even asking me to make time today—he foresaw this! Knew Audit and regular staff don't mix..., but this cruel?!'

Astarote couldn't think otherwise.

Worse, Joey tempted her softly.

"Heard you're dispatched from Heaven Company, Ms. Astarote. Tough living away from home? 'Business Renewal' forced ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you to leave it all behind—we're alike there."

"S...so?"

"I'll pretend I didn't see, so why not try one tanghulu? Rare chance for hometown flavors. Come on in."

"Hmph, I'll eat after work. Got plenty of time tonight!"

"Really? Audit Team clocks out at 19, but this closes at 18. Timing issue."

'This bastard—knows my schedule! Competent, alright!'

She pegged Joey as seduction pro. Worthy of the "devil" moniker.

"Not eating!"

###

Had a blast. Tried the weird tanghulu too.

Thought "Tree of Knowledge" sounded fancy, but it just tasted like apple.

Anyway, demerits must be piling up.

"......"

Astarote looked pissed since earlier. Probably mad at my blatant slacking, as a by-the-book auditor.

Then—

"Huh? Team leader."

"T-Team leader?"

"No way. Still work hours—strict Team Leader wouldn't be here..."

As we left the market, some women froze. Astarote recognized them.

"Huh? You guys took today off. What're you doing here?"

"Uh, we... um..."

"Makaria's birthday today."

"Planned to meet here after work..."

"Hey, shh, not that..."

What? Sudden awkward vibe.

The apparent Audit Team women looked tense too.

Then someone spoke.

"...It's my birthday today. Wanna join, Team Leader?"

Crisis. Astarote blurted,

"Pass. Busy tonight. Appointments. Work to do. Go ahead without me—eat up. Just don't be late tomorrow!"

"Really?"

"Team Leader, bummer!"

"Next time for sure."

Whoosh. They vanished.

I recalled Astarote claiming post-work free time.

But she couldn't say it.

'Audit Team supposed to go in threes, but she's solo. Most team invited to party, she's not. Is she...'

Getting bullied? Outsider dispatch, weird horns, maybe uptight personality.

'Feeling like the odd one out. Hits close to home.'

Sentimental after seeing Mom in the well, homesick. I offered her my bag of tanghulu.

"Bought too many. Can't finish. Can't toss 'em. Dump some on your way, Ms. Astarote."

Next morning back home, shocking news blared in the Happy World paper.

Cold sweat dripped. I'd thought the apple taste was oddly spot-on...

It was real apple!? Total shock twist.

"Joey! That scary Audit Team lady's back!"

Marquius freaked. I turned—Astarote approached and poked my chest.

"Didn't expect you'd saddle me with a debt like this. Section Chief Joey, devilishly clever—fits your "Happy World Devil" rep. But I don't do debts."

"Debt? No clue what you mean, don't wanna know! Even if real, no need to repay!"

"Lying without batting an eye. Devilish indeed? Heh heh heh! Fine! If you ever get fired from Happy World, I'll take you to Heaven Company. Manager position minimum. Sign this contract!"

"M-M-Manager position...!?"

Manager Bones fainted.