019 – My Favorite Idol #1
“Jo Iseo, you really do like me, don't you.”
...Eh...!?
I couldn't keep up with the conversation at all. A truly divine level of dialogue.
I'd deliberately described an ideal type that was the complete opposite of Melinoë, so how on earth did she arrive at that conclusion?
There must've been some algorithm at play that even a mere mortal like me couldn't comprehend.
“Jo Iseo, I know full well that you keep challenging yourself with tough tasks and craving promotions all because of me. But I'm a goddess, and you're a mortal. We can never be together easily.”
“...Y-yes...!?”
“If you want to stand on the same level as me, you'll have to aim for at least an executive position.”
My vision swam dizzily.
For someone like me who just wanted to get fired or transferred, telling me to strive for an executive seat?
“Of course, for a mortal body to become an executive is unprecedented—practically impossible. You'd have to clash with that annoying Zagreus over shares, and there's a high chance you'd even have to face off against the CEO.”
Clash with Prince Zagreus, the real power player in this Soul Society, or even the terrifying CEO whose name alone struck fear?
Our princess seemed to be under a ridiculous misunderstanding.
I had to clear it up fast!
“Um, Melinoë. I'm sorry, but I—.”
I don't like you, Melinoë—
My lips, which I'd been about to part to say that, suddenly glued together and refused to move.
You know those moments in life when your instincts hit extra hard? Like a survival instinct screaming a warning.
What happens if I, who's spent a night with a goddess, say I don't like her?
Dare to toy with and insult a goddess's heart? Brutally. Murdered. Dismembered. Want to spend eternity like that?
I'll be killed! Horribly, pathetically slaughtered!
No, if I just died, that'd be lucky.
My soul would suffer eternal punishment here in Tartarus.
Punishments too horrific to even imagine.
She might lock me away forever in a solitary cell crawling with hell cockroaches.
At that thought, my body broke out in cold sweat, soaking even my underwear. I half-suspected I was awake in a nightmare.
Not entirely wrong, either.
Welcome to Happy World.
But the Greeks have a saying: There's a time for everything.
Even in the most hopeless moments, opportunity comes when the time is right. Even if the sky falls, there's a way out.
“Melinoë, the truth is, from the moment I first met you, I fell head over heels at first sight. Please have pity on this foolish man who's fallen into an impossible love...”
“...I knew it.”
Saying I didn't like the goddess felt riskier than riding this wave and pretending I did.
For now, keep the momentum going, then show nothing but disappointing sides from here on out. Maybe she'd say, “Jo Iseo, so that's all you amount to? You're fired.”
Not bad for a plan I'd just cooked up.
“I don't blame you, Jo Iseo. I'm a flawless goddess without a single weakness, after all. Falling for me is only natural. Like bees loving honey.”
“...I see.”
“But, Jo Iseo, keep your feelings for me a secret from everyone. Some executives might not take kindly to a mortal eyeing a spot next to a goddess.”
“Indeed. I agree. Wise goddess, your thoughts run as deep and vast as Happy World itself.”
“I won't give you any special treatment, either. Don't feel slighted. As Happy World's executive VP, I have a duty to handle things fairly and justly.”
“You're absolutely right. You're aiming for the CEO seat, after all. If it came out that you were favoring one lowly employee, it'd stir up all sorts of scandals.”
Right now, it felt like the god of opportunity was flashing me his bald forehead.
I had to seize it.
“Please, treat me at the company like I don't exist. Act like you don't even know me. Just these fleeting moments of talking with you are enough to last me a lifetime!”
Ugh—.
I teared up like I was truly moved and grateful.
The finishing touch.
Melinoë's pomegranate-red eyes trembled at the sight.
“Even so, ignoring a devout follower who yearns for me so desperately wouldn't befit a mature goddess.”
“No, please ignore me.”
“So, here's a little hint. Business Renewal happened too abruptly. Lots of gaps. Zagreus's handling wasn't thorough. Sink your teeth into that man. Plenty of scraps will fall.”
With that, Goddess Melinoë patted my shoulder.
“And no more eating stuff like that special honey candy from now on. I'll toss it on my way out. That's why manager-level cockroaches show up—with this junk in the house.”
# # #
“Jo Iseo, why's your face so pale? You look like a dead man! I'm a dead soul by nature, but you—you're still in your prime, aren't you? Come on, smile!”
Clack-clack.
It was Bones Manager, entering my office and chattering his teeth to pump me up.
As if that'd make me smile.
“Must be woman trouble, huh.”
“Pardon?”
“You're at that age, aren't you? Got promoted to manager, moved to a bigger place. Ribs start to ache, and suddenly you crave romance.”
I didn't particularly crave romance, but woman trouble? Spot on.
Bones Manager must've earned his position fair and square in this Happy World.
“Maybe Mrs. Kshalri, Crates's wife?”
“Whaaat...!?”
“I've heard reports you frequent her flower shop.”
I did go to Kshalri's flower shop often.
To buy hell cacti and hell mint.
But did I see her romantically? Absolutely not.
I'm not shameless enough to chase another man's wife.
Of course, she's beautiful, resilient, and has a great personality.
“......”
Sudden rage boiling toward Crates?
Next time I see him, I'll sock him one.
“Back in my youth, women trailed after me in droves. Hiya, those were the days. Cherish your time, Jo Iseo. Oh, right—this is your promotion gift.”
Bones Manager's blue eye sockets glowed wistfully as he slipped out.
The promotion gift he left: a fountain pen, looking quite vintage and expensive.
Aha!
A brilliant idea struck.
Why not squeeze promotion gifts out of everyone around? Won't that tank my reputation?
Ahem.
I cleared my throat entering the main office.
“For my promotion to manager, I'd like a little something from everyone. Depending on what you show, I could be your angel... or devil. Ahem.”
A subtle-yet-blatant bribe demand.
Everyone exchanged awkward glances.
“I've been wondering when to give it to you.”
“As expected of Jo Iseo, skyrocketing to manager! Sharp instincts!”
“Congrats on the promotion! Was gonna surprise you at the party!”
“Take it! Take it! Hero who saved us from the Audit Team!”
Whoosh—.
Suddenly, gifts piled up before me like they'd been waiting.
I was the one flustered now.
“So many gifts for a manager promotion!”
“Damn, now I want a promotion too!”
“Let's work harder! More!”
“No more overtime, so hustle during regular hours!”
Far from disappointed, the staff were overly motivated.
The exact opposite of what I'd hoped. Panicking, I thought fast.
Ignore their gifts here? Mood sours, my rep plummets.
“No gifts. Take them back.”
“Jo Iseo Manager! Such integrity!”
“Hiya, I, Marquius, acknowledge you!”
“That's how you earn top employee status.”
“Even more respectable!”
No energy left to get mad.
Time to escape.
“Jo Iseo Manager's off to snag more work!”
“Even inventing tasks to rack up merits!”
“Promotion maniac!”
“Why's he so hardworking!?”
“Rumor has it he's chasing a woman from Mel—”
Outside the office, the weather was great today.
Thanks to Sisyphus overzealously rolling his boulder, making the fake sun sparkle.
How'd it come to this?
My feet carried me instinctively to my sanctuary.
The flower shop Happy Flower, blooming with tiny flowers.
Crates, fiddling with blooms inside, spotted me and freaked.
“Gah, J-Jo Iseo Manager...! Here to surveil me again?”
Crates? As if I'd come for you.
“I'm here for cacti.”
Soon, Mrs. Kshalri appeared amid the flowers, beaming.
“Oh my, Manager! Cacti's all sold out today. What to do? Our hell cacti's been so popular lately... hehe.”
“Pardon? Hell cactus is popular?”
Memory boost, vitality recovery, love luck surge—
Elysium's elite women can't get enough...!?
Especially rare as a collectible: cacti blooming yellow flowers...
Calls to rename it 'Happy Cactus'...
# # #
Popular group E&S, gearing up for a show at Elysium's grandest stadium.
Producer Arachne, in charge of the event, was deep in distress.
“Why! Why can't you sing!? Eurydol! You're the main vocalist! Executives—the higher-ups—are coming to watch in person! You have to, no matter what! Sing till you drop dead! We're already dead, but still!”
Soul Society executives were impossibly picky.
But impress them, and success was guaranteed.
Arachne had poured her heart—and cash—into this stadium gig, even securing their attendance.
Yet days before, main vocalist Eurydol threw a fit.
“I need flowers. Beautiful flowers. Rare and delicate ones. Paradoxical—lovely, yet with sharp thorns you can't approach carelessly.”
“These won't do? Roses! Barely imported from the surface! Pretty with thorns, right?”
“No. No spark—just doesn't stab.”
Artists were as finicky as executives in their way.
They prized inspiration, and Eurydol was the moodiest sort.
Damn, her vocals are killer, can't replace her. Without Eurydol, E&S wouldn't be here...
A vocal strike now? Disgruntled executives might dump her into horrific Happy World.
After clawing my way to Elysium! My new apartment!
Arachne scoured everywhere for rare, thorny-delicate flowers.
Then she spotted the paper.
Especially rare as a collectible: cacti blooming yellow flowers...
“Cactus... thorns... flowers...!? Hey, shopkeep. Where do I get this yellow-flower cactus?”
“None left. Sold out. Limited stock, and Jo Iseo Manager bought most. Try him.”
“...Jo Iseo Manager? Who's that?”
“Hotshot in Happy World lately. But beware—terrifying rumors swirl.”
A horrific, fearsome man?
Arachne feared executive wrath more, so off to Happy World she went.
Nail this, and schmoozing execs is easy. Jo Iseo Manager, you want brownie points too, right? Persuasion's a breeze!
Arriving at Jo Iseo Manager's place, the entrance bristled with 'torture tools,' making her gulp.
“Who is it?”
“Eek!”