018 – The Goddess Won't Go Home
In the darkness, shadows gathered. What they were scheming was a truly terrifying conspiracy!
"The weapon we hid has been discovered."
"Fatal."
"To turn himself in, of all things. Crates was a fool."
"We'll have to postpone the grand undertaking. Stay quiet for a while."
"Everything for his sake…."
The suspiciously shady shadows began to scatter without so much as a greeting, as if it were a routine they knew well.
That's when someone spoke up.
"What about Section Chief Jo? That man will become an obstacle someday."
"How about we ambush him from behind?"
"Hold off. That guy's the kind who took down Magnus with his bare fists."
"His house is even filled with torture devices…."
"He's a true demon starved for blood and flesh…."
Everyone fell silent. They had no sharp ideas.
Right then, someone spoke.
"Here, we'll deploy a 'section chief.' I request permission to use it…."
"A s-section chief?!"
"Truly terrifying…."
The shadows began to tremble in fear. And with unanimous approval, they raised their hands.
"Alright, it's decided. Let's go grab some food!"
Today, let's learn about Hell Mint*^^
Unlike earthly mint, Hell Mint grows best when you trample it like this *^*
Think of the mint as your husband's mistress and stomp away *^*
By the way, the mint scent repels bugs, and it's delicious as tea *^*
Hell Mint. Truly an enviable plant.
But its lush size was a bit of an issue.
"To grow this, I'd need at least a balcony."
I glanced around, taking in the cramped single-room dorm at a glance. Hell Cacti were crammed everywhere, leaving little empty space.
Am I complaining? Not at all!
—Zzzing.
—Zzzing, zzzing.
The cacti made weird noises, but ever since I'd brought a ton home, no Hell Cockroaches had shown up. It was great.
I couldn't keep this goodness to myself, so I even recommended them to others. Especially to Orpheus, who lived in a multi-family dump turned trash heap—he needed it. But he freaked out.
"T-this terrifying torture device into my home? Section Chief Jo, you are truly ruthless! Utterly frightening!"
"How is this a torture device? Look, it even has pretty yellow flowers."
What's wrong with raising cacti? Water them well, and they bloom like this. Better than cohabiting with palm-sized roaches, right?
Anyway, a rare holiday that actually felt like one. I stretched languidly—then froze in shock.
—Joooji!!!
"...W-what the hell is that?"
My heart nearly stopped. After bringing in the cacti, things had been quiet for a while, but a Hell Cockroach appeared again.
This one was no ordinary pest. It wore thick golden chitin armor that ignored the sharp cactus spines, its body bigger than my face, wings whirring like a mini helicopter.
If the ones before were regular employee-level, this is at least section chief! My most hated gold color!
Bwoooong—!
It charged straight at my face like a real chopper. Probably lured by the sweet honey candy scent from the one in my hand. I wasn't even eating it for fun—it was just disposing of supplies. Damn it!
—Jooojiieeeek!!
Memories flashed by. They say facing death makes you serene—and that's exactly how I felt.
"Where do you think you're going."
Thwack—!
The section chief roach, inches from my nose, met someone's palm dead-on.
Chik—chikchik….
It crashed into the wall, twitched a few times, then slumped lifelessly to the floor. Probably dead.
I lived!
Relieved as I was… I had to stare at my sudden savior—and unwelcome guest—and ask:
"Lady Melinoë, what brings you to my humble abode…?"
My stomach twisted. The CEO's daughter was in my house. If anyone saw this, I'd be stuffed and mounted as a constellation for sure.
Oblivious to my panic, Lady Melinoë casually swept away the mangled section chief roach corpse with her elegant hand and declared proudly:
"I'm the vice president of this Happy World. I have the right to access and enter any facility or building here. Employee homes included. No key needed."
Shwoong, shwoong. She phased through the wall like it was nothing. Fitting for the goddess of ghosts—her body turned semi-transparent, slipping through barriers effortlessly.
Anyway, the goddess had invaded my home unannounced. And instead of explaining, she scolded me:
"Why are you still living here? I gave you a key. With the rebels out in the open, you need somewhere safer, Jo."
"Yes, the rebels."
The word "rebels" brought back recent events. The Crates embezzlement real estate scandal. I'd planned to claim it myself and get fired. But Crates confessed on his own, and weapons were found in the field. Rebel weapons.
What rebels?
Not that I'd say it aloud, but I found it bizarre that rebels even existed in this Happy World. What were they even up to?
The key point: The scandal turned Happy World upside down, but no full audit happened, and it fizzled out. Thanks to that, I got this rare holiday.
I'd been itching to job-hop lately, but honestly, the rest was sweet as honey.
If only the nightmare goddess hadn't shown up.
My gut burned. Good thing I skipped breakfast. If I'd eaten, I'd be puking right now.
Soon, she spoke:
"Come on, let's move. Pack your bags."
"Bags?"
"Time to relocate. Can't have you in a security sieve like this if the rebels might target you. If I were them, I'd go for top talent first."
Bit overkill, but moving to a bigger place? Tempting. I wanted more cacti, and that 'Hell Mint' from Helmes Net earlier—needed a veranda for that.
"Veranda included?"
"Spacious."
"Lead the way, Lady Melinoë!"
"Pfft, what are you on about? Pack first."
And so, I packed with the goddess. Rustle, rustle. On a fine day, packing bags with a beautiful woman. Kinda romantic.
"Rustle, rustle. Fussle, rustle. It's fine, ding ding ding ding—."
Was packing that fun? She was even humming.
Damn, she's cutely out of character. If she weren't the CEO's daughter….
If she were a normal woman, my heart would be pounding pink with tension. It was pounding now, hard to think straight—but the tension was dark black. Grotesque, even.
Crash!
"...Ahem, even a perfect goddess like me makes mistakes sometimes. Sorry, Jo. That wasn't a favorite dish, right?"
"No."
Crash!
"This one?"
"Nope."
Crash!
"Lady Melinoë, I'll handle packing. Just rest."
After packing, I followed her to the new place. On the outskirts of Happy World's downtown—cozy. One bathroom, kitchen-living room combo, two bedrooms. One for closet/desk, the other for bed. Perfect. Spacious veranda too. Room for cacti and Hell Mint. Even a section chief Hell Cockroach wouldn't dare invade. My perfect sanctuary.
"Short on basics. Let's hit the nearby store for stuff. Also, to compensate for the dishes I broke."
We went to a big mart, buying plates, cups, toothbrushes. She stared, then started advising:
"I like this pot—big capacity. Plates? These red ones. Extra toothbrush and cup. Bigger house means guests might stay."
Chance! Time to tank my score with her!
"Then, might as well get the priciest ones."
I grabbed the best stuff—shwing shwing—and she paid with a black card like it was nothing. Executive card, huh? First time seeing one up close.
Dusk fell. Figured she'd head home soon. But no sign of her leaving.
When's she going? Staying for dinner?
She plopped on the new sofa, flipped on the TV, browsing channels.
"Romance dramas. All romance dramas. Blame Business Renewal. Used to have serious historicals."
Lady Melinoë seemed displeased with the romance overload. She turned off the TV with a sigh.
"Why do people love romance stories so much? You too, Jo?"
"Eh, take it or leave it."
"Hmm, true. Someone like me has to care about employee romances and marriages. On that note, Jo—what's your type?"
……!
Exams have killer questions—literal man-slayers. I sensed this was one. Not just any killer, but Happy World's most ruthless chainsaw murderer question.
Nail this, and I could tank her favor massively.
Scrutinize. Bracing for blasphemy, I scanned her from head to toe.
Serious verdict:
"I like energetic women who laugh a lot and are athletic. Healthy tanned skin's ideal, blonde hair, blue eyes a bonus."
Total opposite of her. Saying it, my legs shook with tension.
Too roundabout a rejection?
I anxiously awaited her reaction—
"Sigh…."
Princess Melinoë shook her head.
"Jo, you really do like me, huh."
"Pardon?"
"All those traits you listed? Obviously me. Can't pretend I didn't hear such a direct confession."
Goddess. Did you hear my answer right?