141 – Joey Noi, Ushering in a New Era! #3
Looking back now, Professor Zeusoo was a total gourmet. Thanks to that, I got to tag along and try all sorts of delicacies. That's when I learned the clear difference between true delicacies and exotic oddities.
A delicacy is something hard to come by on the regular, but insanely delicious. An exotic oddity? Same deal on the rarity, but with a weird twist that sets it apart.
"Iseo-ya, Jo Iseo. Try this. Frog ramen—boiled right in. They say it's killer for guys. You can't even find it these days!"
"Ugh, ughhh!"
"Check this out—scorpion skewers."
"Ughhhh!"
I tried every exotic oddity under the sun. Some were so vile they made me gag without warning. I don't even want to reminisce.
And that's exactly why I'd come looking for Hedone.
Hedone's so clumsy at everything, they call her the Surplus Goddess. Of course she can't cook worth a damn.
Feed Melinoi one of her monstrosities? She'd hurl up everything she'd swallowed—including that share certificate.
My brilliant brain never ceases to amaze even me.
From what I'd heard, hell cockroaches seal away their smarts most of the time, only unleashing full genius in crises. Maybe I had a bit of that too.
Joey, the man who shines brightest in the clutch.
Okay, comparing myself to a cockroach was a stretch, but whatever.
Swoosh.
Hedone bent at the waist and hips to meet Melinoi's gaze.
"So, who's this little cutie? She looks kinda familiar. Gives off the same vibe as you, Section Chief Joey. Don't tell me she's some secret kid you hid away…!?"
"Watch your mouth—what kinda scandalous talk is that? It's Melinoi. You know, Melinoe? The one who got picked as general affairs manager at Happy World for a hot minute."
"There was a guy like that?"
Hedone tilted her head, puzzled.
Everyone forgetting Melinoi, failing to recognize her—it'd happened plenty of times before. Still, tension prickled in that moment.
It reminded me of when even her mentor Hecate had brushed her off with an "I don't know you." Everything shattered back then—total chaos.
What if the same uproar erupted now—
"Who's this big lunkhead…! What an utterly displeasing mug…! This Melinoi dreams of becoming the perfect businesswoman, the perfect goddess…! Standing next to a surplus goddess like you might infect me with your uselessness…!"
"Listen to her go! She's hilarious. Who's the surplus goddess? I've crushed that princess of yours perfectly before!"
"Don't lie…!"
"Lie? Who's lying? A goofy nymph like you is nothing but a punching bag to me! Want proof? Like this—clench the fist and—"
Hedone balled her fist. It rocketed toward Melinoi's head like lightning!
Thonk.
"Eek…!"
Melinoi clutched her head and crumpled, tears welling up. I panicked.
"Hey! Hedone! What the hell—you can't just hit a nymph!"
"But she made that punchable face!"
"Melinoi, you okay?"
This was bad. A knuckle-rap to the princess's head? Same as striking Melinoe herself.
"Didn't you hear 'even flowers shouldn't strike a nymph'? I can't forgive this…! Taste the fist of nymphly grudge…!"
But Melinoi was tougher than she looked. She sprang up from her crouch, fists clenched, and pummeled Hedone wildly.
"Nymph Skill: Barrage Punch…!"
Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat!
"Meli-meli-meli-meli-meli—!"
"Aaaah~"
The weird part? Hedone, who always dominated human-form Melinoe, wailed and toppled like she'd been smashed by cotton candy marshmallows.
Was the pint-sized weirdo version too much for her?
Anyway, that wasn't the point.
"Hold up, everyone's way too heated. Calm down. Everyone, just chill."
I pried Melinoi off first. Time was short for me.
###
"This is mitchuri roast. This is mitchuri fry. And this is starflower latte—"
Hedone piled mystery bird meat on the table. It looked decent enough, but the taste—
"This Melinoi, a nymph who's sampled every delicacy under the sun with the pickiest palate…! It's decent enough to stomach…! I forgive you for bonking my head earlier…!"
Why was Hedone's cooking actually good? Melinoi went from fuming hedgehog—spiked up after an apology gift—to totally mellowed out.
Disarming an enraged nymph with flavor? Incredible.
Hedone, you useless hack…!
I didn't want tasty, healthy grub! Dopamine bomb, my ass—where were the MSG overloads, the mala-mint-choco-capsaicin horrors?
Total letdown.
"Hedone, I'm disappointed in you."
"…Huh!? Why…!?"
I grabbed Melinoi and bolted from Hedone's place.
Whose brilliant idea was showing Melinoi to her anyway? Every time I tangled with Hedone, it ended in disaster.
She was so incompetent, even a simple "screw up and get fired" plan kept failing.
Of course her schemes tanked.
But I'm different.
The man who pushes one step further in crisis. In failure.
That's me.
The spot I dragged Melinoi's hand to? The health spa "Mountain and Moon."
The lady there—
"Ooh, shit…! Weird nymph detected…!"
The crown princess consort of Soul Society, goddess of the lunar month—
And the forgiveness-and-reconciliation goddess who graciously accepted Prince Zagreus's polygamy.
Nixdoty.
She snatched Melinoi up the second she spotted her, spinning her through wild airplane rides.
"Heehee! What a bizarre nymph! Toss this one in a stew for nymph broth… nymph tonic… nymph hand-wash elixir… nymph shampoo rinse… nymph foot soak…."
As you can see, Nixdoty ran the spa, brewing and juicing everything imaginable for sale. The ingredients? Grotesque across the board.
How did she dodge food hygiene laws? Her hubby was safety team boss Prince Zagreus—must've scared off the skeleton inspectors.
Worked in my favor, anyway.
"Lady Nixdoty, got anything super bitter, impossible to stomach? Like a juice that'd make her puke on sight but good for the body?"
"Puhehe, got it! Something super rare! Trying to feed her something this pricey and precious? Section Chief Jo, you must treasure this nymph buddy big time!"
Nixdoty seemed to misunderstand. To an outsider, yeah—it looked like doting with expensive tonics.
Melinoi, who'd been bracing for a boil-in-the-pot fate, lit up with sparkling eyes.
"Section Chief Joey treasures this Melinoi that much…? This Melinoi, a nymph who rarely sheds tears… is so moved, they're flowing now…!"
Drip-drip.
Actual tears streamed from her ruby eyes like jewels.
"This Melinoi was so sad, no one ever welcomed her…! Being treated with such care moves me deeply…!"
Ugh.
Guilt stabbed. Here I was, using everyone ruthlessly just to save my own skin.
Then Nixdoty yelled.
"Ooh, shit…! Nymph tears…! This precious stuff…!"
She whipped out a beaker and caught Melinoi's tears mid-fall.
Talk about killing the mood. Though in a guilt-trip like this, it kinda helped—
Made me question Prince Zagreus's taste in women, big time.
Soon Nixdoty dumped a bunch into a massive jar and boiled it furiously.
Bubble-bubble-bubble.
The color? Boiling lava.
"A handful of searing fangs. A scoop of grotesque shrieks."
—Squeeee!—
—Grrrbl-grrrbl—!
—Kill me! Kill me!
The plunging ingredients were no joke either. The finished elixir? Pitch-black tar.
Like boiled asphalt. Thick, scorching.
"Ta-da! Special elixir for the weird nymph—down the hatch!"
"…Eek! It reeks of nymph-hating vibes from the broth…!"
Melinoi shivered, eyeing the mystery sludge in the bowl. The stench and look were rare even for Happy World.
"But since Section Chief Joey specially requested this elixir for this Melinoi… I'll… shut my eyes and chug…!"
Grimacing hard, Melinoi grabbed the steaming earthenware pot.
And gulped-gulp-gulped it down—
"……."
Nothing? Shockingly uneventful?
She'd swallowed enough to make your gut roil from the smell alone. No reaction? I clung to hope.
Then Melinoi's sour face suddenly brightened.
"Muhuhu, this Melinoi…! Felt bloated like I'd scarfed forbidden grub, but suddenly so comfy…! All that overeating's gone…!"
She perked up, refreshed.
"Ooh shit…! Works great! Share Digestion Aid! Lately, even hotshots like Hades find absorbing shares a chore—been tinkering with a killer digestive!"
Turns out Nixdoty's elixir was just a digestion aid.
No way—!
Thud.
I slumped to the floor.
No choice now—one last shot.
Melinoi absorbed the shares. Not me.
Her deeds somehow got credited to me, sure.
But shares she absorbed would belong to Melinoe proper, right? Low odds of miracle shares pinging in my body.
Yeah, this wasn't about misconceptions—it'd resolve if no shares showed in my blood.
No share components in my body!
That thought cheered me right up. Maybe I was overthinking.
I coasted through the last 40 hours easy. Packed my stuff. Just had to ditch the company and head topside.
To prove my failure, I drew blood.
Everyone packed the shareholders' meeting room, awaiting results.
Then Night Goddess Nix burst in, bellowing.
"Chairman! Confirmed—Section Chief Joey's blood shows normal absorption of the miracle shares!"
"Ack!"
Why the hell…!?
But protests drowned in the fireworks of noise erupting everywhere.
"I-Impossible!"
"Absorbing shares in a human body!"
"No one can stop him now! The rampaging new era!"