114 – Master Detective Joey #1
Whenever I checked the news from the surface world, it was always packed with incidents and accidents. Someone committing corruption. Oil prices skyrocketing. Another country breaching borders. Not a single day passed peacefully.
Soul Society was no different. Even without me lifting a finger, disasters exploded left and right.
"Extra! Extra! Hooooaaa!"
"Hoeno-i, give me a paper too."
"Ten coopers...! Extra! Ex-traaaa! Hooooaaa!"
No matter how many times I saw her, I just couldn't get used to the nymph newspaper delivery girl, Hoeno-i.
Anyway. Flip.
I unfolded the paper, and the huge headlines dominated every page—no need to search for them.
Soul Society was always bursting with incidents, but this one felt different in severity.
Goddess Artemis, who had been staying as a guest in the underworld, vanished on her way back to the surface? It was unprecedented, something even myths had never recorded.
One wrong move, and we could face all-out war with the Heavenly Council over protection and management responsibilities. If we didn't solve it fast, the gears of misfortune might spin out of control.
So what the hell am I supposed to do about it?
For some reason, I ended up as the on-site commander for Goddess Artemis's disappearance.
Apparently because she left a message with some cactus kimchi. Honestly, I had no clue what the kimchi had to do with anything, or why it made me the commander.
But that's how social life works—sloppy and arbitrary. That's how gaps form. And problems arise.
"This is my chance."
All the big-shot executives couldn't find a shred of evidence beyond the half-eaten cactus kimchi. What could a puny human like me do? The investigation would stall, I'd take the blame, they'd swap me out for a more competent commander. Deputy Joey demoted! Perfect opportunity all around.
Still, there was one thing that worried me purely out of concern.
The Artemis I'd met was a pretty powerful goddess in her own right. If she really got ambushed and kidnapped like the media speculated? That meant some group or individual in Soul Society was stirring up chaos on that level.
Tartarus guys, maybe?
That was the obvious suspect. As I pondered, a drunk Aktaion stumbled out of Happy Snack House, trembling all over and wailing in heartbroken grief.
"Kweeeee! Goddess Artemis kidnapped by vile thugs! How could such a horrific thing happen! I won't forgive them!"
Aktaion was the guy cursed by Goddess Artemis into a deer, who'd craved revenge ever since. Weird that he wasn't gloating over the crescent moon goddess's disappearance.
"Didn't you swear revenge on her just the other day?"
Crowzer voiced my exact question. Aktaion chugged makgeolli, then slammed the brass bowl on the table.
"Just yesterday, she apologized, admitted her mistake, and even blessed me with holy water! So now I have no choice but to become her follower!"
If a world-star celebrity spit-blessed you, it'd be brag-worthy. A goddess? Anti-fan turning fan made sense.
"So, my brother Joey, any progress on the investigation?"
Crowzer asked. I felt the snack shop crowd's eyes on me.
Progress? "Nothing yet."
"Whoa! This is bad! If we don't act, war with the heavens! Brother, peace hangs on your skills! You've probably got it all figured out already! Krk hahahaha!"
Back home, I turned on the TV—every channel covering the "Goddess Disappearance."
Wild speculation everywhere.
Beep. I shut off the TV.
Everyone yapping and expecting miracles on their own terms.
"Whatever. Not my problem if they end up disappointed."
I flopped onto the sofa. 7 p.m. Normally, Melinoë would drop by and we'd cook dinner together. But she'd been radio silent for days, absorbing shares.
Finally, some alone time. How long had it been? This peace felt... lonely?
Lately, my body had gotten too used to chaos and misfortune. Peace felt alien now.
Wonder if Melinoë's okay, honestly.
Artemis treated her like a little sister, and vice versa. A sister's disappearance—even unprepared—must hurt. Could mess up her share absorption meditation, trigger some butterfly effect blocking my firing.
No choice. Time to do some legwork.
Not that I'm worried about Melinoë or Artemis. Purely self-preservation, cold and calculated.
Using people as means for my goals—even a disappearance. No one more selfish than me. Narcissus couldn't hold a candle. And they praise me, make me deputy? Soul Society's too dumb—gotta escape ASAP.
Crunch crunch. I headed to the riverbank where Artemis's last traces were found.
Shattered boat debris on the gravel, skeleton guards controlling the area saluted sharply.
"Deputy Joey, sir!"
"Ongoing investigation and search!"
"Yeah, thanks for the late-night work. Any special reports?"
"Yes! Caught a trespasser!"
"No ID or affiliation. Prime suspect candidate—"
Whoosh! I headed to the tent with the captive.
A nymph raged behind iron bars.
"This Melinoi demands release... norat!"
"Quiet, you trespasser nymph!"
"State your affiliation and ID!"
"Why are you at a restricted crime scene? Speak!"
"What's this special honey candy? A weapon?!"
"This Melinoi is no suspicious nymph... norat! But can't reveal affiliation or ID... norat! Because this Melinoi aims for CEO solely on personal merit... norat!"
"What? Aiming for Chairman's seat?! Threatening to attack him, you?!"
"Lock this nymph up tight!"
"Eek!"
Wobble. Legs go weak from shock? True.
"...Ah..."
Trespasser prime suspect? Big letdown. Melinoi popped out.
Unbelievable! I'm losing it!
"Release her. That nymph's cleared. I, Deputy Joey, Chairman's secretary and lead investigator, vouch for her."
"Ahh! Joeynoi came... norat!"
What the hell? Skeletons, hesitant but silenced by my guarantee, unlocked the cage.
Melinoi burst out like a zoo monkey recaptured after escape, furious.
"As expected of the honorary nymph liberator Joeynoi... norat! So happy...! Time for the nymph dance of joy and freedom... norat!"
Thump thump. Dum dit dum.
She danced to a bizarre rhythm. My vision darkened.
"My bad. Lock her up again."
"Hieeek!"
"So, Melinoi, what were you doing at the riverbank? Restricted to non-personnel."
Is she the real culprit? The thought flashed as she crammed convenience store roll cake into her mouth and shook her head.
"Sthoo naa!"
"Finish eating first."
"Investigating... norat! Because Goddess Artemis is close to this Melinoi... one of the few...! Gave piggyback rides, super nymph-friendly and kind... norat!"
Tears welled in Melinoi's eyes. She'd rushed here hearing the news.
"This Melinoi aims to be a bold businesswoman like her someday...! So this Melinoi must find her personally... norat!"
"Any progress?"
Just asking without hope. But Melinoi grinned slyly, muhuhu.
"Exactly... norat! This Melinoi found key evidence pointing to the culprit... norat! Behold... norat! The crucial clue everyone overlooked... norat!"
Key clue? Ominous name. Looked—caterpillar in her hand.
Some larva.
"Night butterfly larva... norat! Absorbs moonlight to pupate and spread beautiful wings... norat! And one was nearby... norat!"
Common riverbug as key clue? Flicker of hope snuffed.
Melinoi chattered more.
"Artemis's message! Left moon-symbol bugs nearby to solve the puzzle... norat! Meaning... 'Moon Council'... norat!"
"Council?"
"Heard moon goddesses meet regularly to set directions... norat! Maybe Artemis telling us to ask them... norat!"
Skeptical. Still, I added "night butterfly larva" and "Moon Council" to the report.
Not convinced it was decisive, but no harm either way.
"Then it's time to meet this Melinoi's master... norat!"
Her master? News to me. Had to be intriguing.