011 – Black-Haired Nymph #2
Now that we'd hired a new employee, it was time to send the rest of the applicants packing. As I was dismissing the crowd, someone suddenly shot to their feet and shouted.
"Section Chief Joey, how could you pass over all these stellar candidates and hire the one nymph who looks the most useless? There has to be a good reason—one everyone can accept!"
A good reason? As if. I picked her precisely because she seemed the least cut out for the job, just like you said.
Now the rumors would spread about how idiotic my judgment was, and all the hype around me would pop like a bubble pierced by a needle.
"I, Magnus, came all the way from distant Elysium because of your reputation, Section Chief Joey. I can't just slink away after this insult!"
Crack, crackle-crack-.
A hulking brute rivaling Sisyphus in size rolled his shoulders and flexed his muscles.
"I'll show you my strength and claim that job! The world might abandon me, but I won't let it!"
Was he about to go on a rampage? Soon the other applicants were chiming in with "Hear, hear!" and "We ain't leaving like this!"—tempers flaring all around.
The atmosphere screamed imminent riot, but that only made me happy. If things erupted here, maybe I'd take the blame and finally get fired.
"Joey, that big guy's Magnus, the famous mercenary. They say he could arm-wrestle Hercules and hold out for a few seconds. Impressive stuff."
Marquius, my colleague, shifted his hand to the dagger at his waist.
"Sure, he's nothing to you, the 'Demon of Happy World,' but he'd make a perfect warm-up for me. Sit tight. Time to boost my performance review."
Marquius's eyes sparkled like a thief spotting gold.
That's when the nymph I'd least expected it from started trembling with rage.
"Useless-looking nymph...? I absolutely won't tolerate anyone insulting this Melinoi...!"
She clenched her tiny fist. Then the bizarre nymph Melinoi charged at the scowling brute.
"Then taste a smidge of my fist...!"
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-.
"Aaagh~"
Crack-crunch—! Boom-crash—!
It was a surreal sight. Her fist, no bigger than a soap bubble, hit the ground and spiderwebbed cracks across the earth. The massive man crumpled like a rag doll shredded by a furious beast.
"Damn, Magnus!"
"She took down Magnus that easily? What the hell is that nymph?"
What is she? Beats me! But the real problem was how everyone's gaze shifted toward the bizarre nymph Melinoi after that display.
"Self-proclaimed disciple of Hercules, the mercenary king Magnus—and she flattened him without breaking a sweat...!?"
"Did... did Section Chief Joey spot that nymph's power and hire her on purpose!?"
"What insight... Gives me chills...."
"Joey, that newbie you picked? She's the real deal. Your eye for talent is light-years beyond a mere mortal like me!"
"Stop...."
"Huh? What'd you say, Joey?"
"I said stop...."
"Stop what?"
"Bring back that guy! Hire him!"
Of course, it was a futile, hollow cry. I'd already sworn on the Styx to hire only this suspicious nymph—and that oath was unbreakable.
# # #
I brought the newly hired nymph Melinoi into the office. Everyone dropped what they were doing to gawk at the child-sized figure.
"Huh? A nymph?"
"Section Chief Joey hired a nymph as the new hire?"
"That 'nymph preference' in the posting—wasn't that just a joke?"
"A nymph, seriously."
They all looked stunned in various ways. Even Crates, the ace of Team 1, leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, clearly unconvinced.
"Nymphs are supposed to be naive and bubbly, right? Can she really handle something as strict as Penalty Execution?"
Spoken like the ace of Team 1, Crates. Preach!
And he said it loud enough for everyone to hear.
"I won't name names, but... wasn't jumping to section chief after just two years a stretch?"
Perfect—ice-cold logic. This hire would prove how utterly incompetent Section Chief Joey was at managing talent. A total disaster.
I'll use this nymph to rack up failures galore.
Could someone this tiny and weird survive in Penalty Execution, managing brutal inmates like Sisyphus or Cronus? Sure, she'd flattened that brute Magnus, but our jobs weren't all about raw power.
Thwack!
Then Crates strode over with a stack of documents and shoved them into Melinoi's hands.
"These are ten years of budget records we need to review before the internal audit. There's a discrepancy somewhere, and it's driving us nuts. But a nymph specially hired by the great Section Chief Joey should spot it in no time, right? You have one hour."
Crates's eyes locked on me, as if saying, If your pick can't handle this, your management skills are in question too.
"On page 972, line 22—the entry for Charon's ferry fees is wrong...! It's two gold coins per crossing, so twenty rides should cost forty...! But it's listed as forty-two...!"
"What? You found it already? In, like, five minutes!?"
Crates reeled in shock. Nymph Melinoi puffed out her chest proudly.
"Bring more...! This Melinoi aims to climb all the way to CEO of Soul Society someday...! I can handle any task...!"
"Grr... Coincidence! Pure luck! Try these!"
Crates dumped another massive pile. But in under an hour, nymph Melinoi pinpointed every error perfectly.
"This is easier than licking cold honey...!"
"This is ridiculous...!!! Only top execs can process work this fast. And this nymph looks half their size...!?"
Crates collapsed into his chair, shell-shocked. And honestly? So did I.
Why is this random pick so damn competent?
"Section Chief Joey's eye for talent is unreal. No wonder even Cronus acknowledged you!"
"I wasn't thrilled about your two-year promotion, but this? Gotta respect it."
"People headed upward just operate on another level!"
No! The office staff's opinion of me was skyrocketing!
Clutching at straws, I glared at Crates. Team 1's ace. You'd set this madness straight, right?
But he caught my eye and shuddered like he was terrified.
"W-why are you staring like that? I... uh... gotta go smoke."
What? You don't even smoke! Even you, Crates, whom I trusted!
Not over yet. I shoved my entire workload at Melinoi—miscellaneous tasks from my promotion, HR files, major new projects. All of it.
Utterly irresponsible. Dumping it on a first-day newbie. The others could call me out anytime.
But—
"Muhuhu, all done...! Added my personal notes too...!"
She'd finished in an hour what would've taken me three—and annotated it helpfully. Had to be sloppy, right? With that hopeful delusion, I scrutinized it for any flaw to tear into.
...Flawless. New project directions and budgets measured precisely.
No room to nitpick. Even I couldn't fabricate complaints against perfection like this.
"Muhuhu...! This Melinoi studied kingship from childhood...! These tasks are easier than licking cold honey...! Which means I'm qualified for even greater things...!"
Despair crashed over me. A screw-up hire excelling like this? My performance review would soar.
What now? Simple.
"Melinoi, I get you're good. But organizations have hierarchy. No matter how skilled, newbies start small."
"......?"
"Everyone begins with the basics. So, Melinoi—for now, you're on General Affairs. Cleaning, supplies sorting. That kind of thing."
"Sorting and cleaning are trivial...!"
"Trivial? Small tasks are the foundation of everything important."
Stick this overachieving nymph somewhere quiet where she couldn't shine. Cleaning and organizing had a low ceiling, even if perfect.
We arrived at the supply warehouse—cobwebs and dust everywhere from neglect.
"Joey."
"Joey!"
And hell cockroaches galore.
"Section Chief Joey, what's that...?"
Nymph Melinoi eyed a box in the corner, her red eyes gleaming like rubies.
It was a candy box labeled Honey Candy.
"Oh, that?"
New execs had heard a nymph was coming and stocked up on nymph-favorite honey candy—then dumped it here. Exec Princess Melinoë hated being treated like a nymph.
"Honey candy. Want some? Eat it."
"The trend of nymphs loving honey candy is ancient history...! This Melinoi doesn't like it at all...! I'll throw it out...!"
Melinoi hoisted the box and vanished.
Ten minutes later, no sign of her. Worried, I wandered nearby.
"So tasty...!"
Chomp-chomp-chomp-chomp-!
In a dim corner by the warehouse, nymph Melinoi tore into the box, cramming fistfuls of round candies into her mouth. I'd seen that internet meme of a cat devouring bread—her puffed cheeks and greedy grab matched it perfectly.
Said she'd toss it, but she's shoving it all in her face. 'Toss it in her mouth,' huh.
Nymphs really did love honey candy. Come to think of it, I'd written about that in my thesis.
Suddenly curious: Why'd I choose nymphs for my first paper again...?
"Joey, what are you doing here?"
"Gah!"
I nearly jumped. Princess Melinoë, red laurel crown on her head, had snuck up beside me.
"What are you doing?"
What was I doing? Training the newbie. But oddly, Melinoi was gone. Where'd she vanish to so fast? This warehouse had hazards; wandering could get her hurt.
"Princess Melinoë, seen a nymph? Red eyes, black hair like yours—but pint-sized, up to my waist. Name's Melinoi."
Flinch!
Princess Melinoë shuddered like an icicle pressed to her throat.
"Nope."
She haughtily shook her head, but her lips glistened with golden syrup—like she'd snuck candy.
"And what brings you here, Princess Melinoë?"