Why Are You My Subject
These were the blueprints for tools that could let me bend the world to my will.
And it had just handed them over with a cheerful, 'Oh my, you got a phone? Wonderful~ Go on, make them~'?
Nothing in this world comes free. That's my personal philosophy.
I should've been suspicious, no question. But I didn't exactly have options.
Right now, I was thoroughly, unambiguously fucked.
My instincts and experience from ten years as a hunter were screaming it at me.
If I got caught looking like this, the government agents would kill me on sight. No trial, no mercy.
My best guess? The source of that Grimoire was the bug they'd shoved down my throat.
Whether that was the truth or not didn't matter.
To the officials, it would be the version that made sense.
Rather than keep even one person alive on the off chance, they'd rip out the possibility at the root.
That's how the world worked ever since the Towers appeared and international politics went to hell.
"Guess I've got no choice."
Congratulations, nation. One impending calamity, coming right up.
"First rule: survive now, worry later."
The more complicated the problem, the more important it is to think simple.
"Status window. Tell me what materials I've got left."
To craft the Grimoire, you must use Predation on a magic stone of any grade.
"A magic stone?"
Leave it to me to get lucky while being unlucky.
"Oh, hey. There's exactly one."
It was the cheapest of the cheap, something I'd picked up for weapon refinement — but hey, even a bottom-shopper can dream.
"Now where did I put it..."
I dug through my studio apartment, buried under layers upon layers of silk thread, until I found the magic stone.
"Ah."
No idea why it was there of all places, but the stone was perched atop a pillar of woven thread — well out of reach even if I stretched on my tiptoes.
"What a waste of time."
My pride took a small hit, but that's what humans have tools for.
I dragged a nearby chair over—
"Ugh! It's tied down tight."
Or tried to. The thing was snagged on the silk threads and refused to budge, no matter what I did.
"Nnngghhaaa!"
Spite got the better of me, and I hauled on it with everything I had.
It's a chair, for god's sake. Just come quietly.
"Whoa—"
The chair finally gave way.
Along with my body, courtesy of momentum.
CRASH!
"Owww..."
That hurt. A lot.
How much weight had I lost?
My old body used to hold its own against your average adult male. Now I felt weaker than the girls my apparent age.
At this rate, I'd never climb the Tower.
"Absolutely not."
Quitting the hunter life was never an option.
I live to be recognized as a hunter. That's the whole point.
Just thinking about it made the Grimoire feel that much more precious.
I climbed onto the chair, picked up the magic stone, and took a bite.
"Mmm. Grape candy."
Do all purple things just taste the same?
Crunch, crunch.
They said magic stones were ridiculously hard even at the lowest grade, yet my jaw and teeth chewed right through. They must have been enhanced beyond all reason.
With this mouth of ruin, maybe I could bite through and swallow anything?
Should I try ambush-biting as a combat technique someday?
I got so lost in these random thoughts that the magic stone was soon nibbled down to nothing.
"So that's all the materials? What's next?"
I tapped the ever-helpful status window.
All Grimoire materials are prepared. Use Thread Spitting to create the fabric, then apply the Tailoring skill.
"Like this?"
Predation to take it in.
Thread Spitting to process it.
Tailoring to finish.
The Nue Queen name is earning its keep. This is easy.
I raised both index fingers.
Fwoosh.
Black and purple threads spouted from every fingertip, spraying out fast enough to gather into a pair of decent-sized bundles.
"So how does Tailoring work?"
Mix the two thread bundles together until they intertwine.
That's elementary school art class level.
Actually, kids these days are so sharp it's probably kindergarten level by now.
But no sooner had the thought crossed my mind than I gathered the threads in my fern-frond-sized hands, exactly as the status window instructed.
Ziiing!
The threads blazed with a blinding light, as if on the verge of evolution, and reshaped themselves.
"Did that work? This isn't what I pictured. I thought it'd be a book."
What sat in front of me was a sleek phone with a white casing.
I powered it on. Aside from an app called Grimoire and a few others I didn't recognize, it was identical to the phone I'd been using.
"An e-book is still a book, I guess."
EENUQ? What the hell is an Enuk?
Tower Teleport is a pretty self-explanatory name, though.
I had a mountain of questions, but I was in far too much of a hurry — I was just about to tap the Grimoire app when...
A wisp of black light rose from the phone, and the figure of a woman unfurled upward from it like smoke.
And when her form finally finished materializing—
"..."
She was quietly kneeling before me.
Her outfit — mage? Witch?
Something out of a dark witch's wardrobe, cut to flaunt every last inch of her voluptuous, dangerously curvaceous figure.
And that thing on her outfit — is that a mushroom?
The moment I finished sizing her up, tension shot through me.
This woman is strong. My instincts are telling me so, loud and clear.
Especially that staff of hers — the one that keeps writhing on its own.
I had a feeling that taking a hit from it would end very, very badly for me.
"Shall I speak... your tongue?"
The face above it all was beautiful in the way of a pale porcelain doll — utterly devoid of killing intent.
But that unreadable expression was somehow more ominous because of it.
The woman bowed even lower. I instinctively stumbled back a step.
"O great and sovereign Queen. I, Enuk, Your Majesty's eternal court magus, swear my fealty."
Court magus? There's no palace. What kind of 'court magus' works out of a studio apartment?
Enuk — that matches the app name on the phone.
Is she seriously a phone fairy?
While I hesitated, unsure how to react, Enuk stayed on her knees, warily studying my face.
"So, um... Enuk?"
The words were barely out of my mouth before she dropped her head and prostrated herself even flatter.
"For Your Majesty to address me with such a title is unbecoming! I beg you — call me by my name, Enuk, or simply your faithful servant!"
"Uh. Sure."
She was really going all-in on the self-promotion, huh.
Only after a brief silence did a critically important realization strike me.
I'm not wearing any clothes right now, am I?
"Actually, could you hold on while I go put something on?"
"Ah..."
Enuk raised her head at last.
For the briefest of instants, her eyes swept over my body.
Her lips trembled, ever so slightly.
Peach-toned color bloomed across skin that had been pale to the point of whiteness.
BANG!
Enuk smashed her forehead against the floor in a full bow, hard enough to crack her skull.
"Forgive the unpardonable discourtesy of beholding Your Majesty's sacred body without permission!"
Why are YOU the one freaking out?
I'm the girl here, aren't I?
I was a little embarrassed myself, honestly, but her reaction was so over-the-top that I couldn't even manage a proper retort.
"Don't beat yourself up. The clothes thing is on me. I'll go change and be right back."
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
These two are way too enthusiastic for how they look.
"This is as good as it gets."
Obviously there were no women's or children's clothes in my apartment. Why would there be?
So I put my suit back on — the one thing I had any familiarity with. Naturally, it didn't fit.
No pants. The shirt wrapped around me like a cloak covering everything it could, making this a full-scale case of Missing Bottoms.
Forget fashion; I prioritized function.
It's workshop-made gear, you see. Tough and light.
Still better than nothing, right?
I'm not an exhibitionist.
"Truly worthy of Your Majesty. Radiantly beautiful. The cloak about your shoulders and that gown of purest white — it is like beholding a masterpiece."
That's not a cloak. It IS a shirt.
Even the world's most shameless suck-up couldn't match this.
"How about you introduce yourself properly?"
"Of course. I am Enuk, witch of the winter worm and court magus. Through Your Majesty's great deed, I have awakened from my long slumber. Grant me the honor of pledging my loyalty at Your Majesty's feet."
Her big, sparkling eyes looked up at me — a look that didn't match her decadent, bewitching presence at all.
"Well. Okay, then."
She didn't seem to bear me any ill will, so I gave a noncommittal answer — and Enuk wrapped both her hands around my small white one, treasuring it.
Mwah.
She pressed a soft kiss to the back of it.
"You... did you just kiss my hand?"
"A brief oath of fealty. Ordinarily, Your Majesty would kiss my cheek, or I would kiss Your Majesty's ches—"
"Stop right there."
Do not upload garbage data into my brain.
Enuk straightened her posture with a smile, composed and proper once more.
"Before that, though — let's get a few things straight."
Long story short, she was some kind of fairy that had come packaged inside the Grimoire I made.
Notable quirks: she worships me as her Queen, considers herself a court magus, has a mushroom growing out of her body, and is a die-hard bootlicker. That about covers it?
Her speech sounded like something out of a fantasy romance novel, so I figured I should check her common sense. If she was at the level of some medieval peasant, we'd have problems.
"Enuk."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
What was that slang word again...
I'd only lived thirty years, so I didn't really know what the kids were saying these days either.
Then my eyes drifted to the red mushroom adorning her hat.
"Do you happen to know what 'gold farming' means?"
"Gold... farming, you say?"
Ah. She probably won't know something like that.
Looking at the mushroom had made me think of it without meaning to.
Just as I was about to change the question—
The phone and Enuk's eyes flooded with shimmering gold at the same time.
"It is gaming slang for converting items or currency earned in online games into real-world money."
?
"Why do you know that?"
Enuk pointed at the phone.
"The Grimoire and I are connected, Your Majesty. I may acquire knowledge through it — and perform certain of its functions in your stead."
She really is a phone fairy. This'll be useful.
"Do you also happen to know what situation I'm in?"
Does she know I turned into a woman?
The instant I finished asking, Enuk's eyes glowed yellow — then stopped.
"...My apologies. I could not find it. Instead, I discovered posts written on the website Your Majesty frequents. I shall now interpret Your Majesty's grand will from a post titled, 'I'm so depressed I turned into bread.'"
"No. Don't."
How did you stalk my hunter gallery? You're so competent it's terrifying.
She doesn't know I used to be a man, right?
Better to keep that to myself for now.
That Enuk woman — her eyes had a quietly unhinged glint to them.
I was terrified of the fallout if she couldn't accept that the Queen she'd worshipped was actually a man.
Maybe I'd tell her once I trusted her a little more?
"That's not the important thing right now. The thing is, I'm being hunted. If they catch me, I'm dead."
"To dare lay hands on Your Majesty...! Who has violated the dignity of the great and sovereign Queen? Give me only the order, and I shall visit upon those insolent worms a plague crueler than death itself."
"No, no — we are not doing that..."
Look at her, ready to spread plagues on command.
If I had a few more of her lying around, could I actually qualify as a national disaster?
If Enuk lost her temper and killed government agents, that would be a genuine catastrophe.
Because after that, the truly terrifying Executors and Trackers would come hunting us for real.
However strong Enuk was, if they watched us around the clock, twenty-four hours a day, there'd be no escape.
At a few careless words from me, Enuk had thrown herself prostrate on the floor again.
"It seems this unworthy servant failed to grasp Your Majesty's intentions. I beg your forgiveness."
"You don't need to apologize for everything. I'm fine, so get up."
At least for now, she seemed to treat my commands as her highest priority.
More to the point — Enuk had to have searched up how terrifying government agents were by now, and she was still talking big. Was she actually strong?
It'd be great if she could use magic like her outfit suggested.
If she was anything like that rare mage class, my life on the run would get a whole lot easier.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I pulled up a NutTube video to ask her about it.
It was a video from Hyeonja — Korea's one and only S-Rank mage.
"Can you do anything like this?"
"......"
Enuk stared at the video in deep concentration.
I wasn't expecting much.
It was a jaw-droppingly large-scale video of Hyeonja halting a collapsing building by growing a colossal tree.
Even a quarter of that would be an enormous help.
Only after the video ended did Enuk respond.
"...Is this man a fraud? Or an apprentice?"
"What?"
My mind went blank, and I just gaped at her.
She was calling Hyeonja a fraud or an apprentice?
"Magic is, by its nature, the art of drawing power through a medium. A true mage must become the medium itself — yet this man does nothing but scramble to borrow power from without."
Well, yeah — he borrows the power of the Tower and his equipment. That's how it works.
But the way Enuk said it, it sounded as though she could cast the real thing.
"This is the crude method used by novices in the kingdom. To style oneself a Sage with such skill — the name of a fool would suit him better."
She meant it.
Contempt was plain in her narrowed, pitying eyes.
"Were it I, I could unmake or create a collapse a hundred times that tree's scale with a mere gesture."
Unbelievable.
What on earth did I just summon?
The sheer scale of it left me speechless.
And that was when it happened.
Ding-dong!
Han Bina, are you present? This is an official government operation. Due to the ongoing emergency, we are initiating emergency measures. You are hereby notified that if the premises are not opened within five minutes, forced entry will be executed. Any damage to the property and resulting losses will be charged in full—
"Hold on — we checked, and there's a hole in the window. It's packed full of something like thread inside. That's not a normal state of affairs. Stay sharp."
"Haah... I only hope this stays within our jurisdiction."
The thing I'd been dreading was finally here.
