A Mad World
"Pfft. *Cough*... What... What do you mean by that?"
As I looked around and feigned ignorance, he tilted his head in a manner befitting a man known for being eccentric.
With a look on his face that practically said, Do you really not know? he spoke again.
"I mean exactly what I said. My daughter went to Hanam University, so I know."
Wait, he has a daughter?
"You... have a daughter, Senior?"
"Yes. One son and three daughters."
Four kids?!
"I... I see. But Senior...?"
"Hmm?"
I glanced around at our surroundings.
At the table diagonal to ours, a man was pretending to pour water, tilting the pitcher without actually letting any water flow.
At the table next to me, someone was pretending to look at their phone while stealing glances at us.
Even the middle-aged waitress over there...
"Oops! I'm so sorry, dear. Let me bring you a fresh side dish."
She was paying so much attention to us that she had dropped the side dish she was serving.
I deliberately lowered my voice and whispered, "Um... everyone is staring at us. Could you keep your voice down a bit...?"
"Huh? Ah..."
Only after I spoke did Lead Researcher Lee Do-hyun look around.
Unlike me, he stared back at everyone so blatantly that the onlookers felt self-conscious and quickly returned to their own conversations, restoring the noisy atmosphere of the spicy pork restaurant.
Well, he's helpful in times like this, at least... He really was an unpredictable man.
"So... um... what happened with your daughter, Senior?"
"Ah, are you talking about that thing during the first orientation?"
"Yes... yes..."
He took a sip of water and casually tossed out a sentence.
"She did it with our youngest."
"Excuse me?"
What?
Unable to process it, I asked back blankly. "I mean, um... what did you say?"
"The assignment. She did it with our youngest."
What on earth was he talking about? The words made sense, but I couldn't comprehend the meaning.
"So... your youngest child and your daughter did the assignment I'm thinking of together?"
"Yes. That's right."
"Then... the youngest must be a boy."
"Correct."
"And... your daughter?"
"My eldest daughter."
My mind went blank.
He's saying this so casually?
"A-Are you really okay with that, Senior?"
"Hmm?"
"It's just... it doesn't make sense by my standards."
"Well... is there a problem? They said they like each other. Of course, the atmosphere at home became quite tense after that happened."
"Pardon? What do you mean by that?"
Lee Do-hyun took a gulp of water, perhaps feeling thirsty.
He set the glass down with a thud and began to speak calmly.
"My third and eldest daughters fought."
"You mean... your eldest daughter and your third daughter?"
"Yeah. The third one threw a huge fit, crying and screaming. She accused her older sister of suddenly seducing him."
What in the world...?
My brain couldn't process this.
As I stared at him with a dumbfounded expression, he continued the conversation as if nothing were wrong.
"It's been about two years since then, and things are still cold between them. Actually, it might have gotten worse."
"I... I see."
"Yeah..."
Lee Do-hyun sighed, looking deeply troubled.
Right. I'm not the crazy one here, am I?
No matter how eccentric he was, even Lee Do-hyun had to sigh in a situation like this.
His daughters fighting over his only son. I would sigh too. No, I'd probably faint right in front of them. Dramatically, at that.
However, it seemed I had severely underestimated Lee Do-hyun, the man called eccentric in this screw-loose world.
"Those damn kids. Even when their father comes home from work, they don't even greet me properly because they're too busy fighting over their little brother."
My jaw dropped as I thought, That's what you're upset about?!
If he were a normal person, shouldn't he be worried about the ruined family dynamic first, rather than focusing on their lack of manners?
"U-Uh..."
"Even if a father's authority has hit rock bottom these days... isn't this a bit much?"
"I... I suppose so. Yes. Such... an absurd situation shouldn't happen."
As I stood there in shock, unable to say anything, Lee Do-hyun let out a chuckle.
"My daughters were hurling all kinds of insults at each other right in front of me."
"W-What kind of insults?"
He pondered for a moment, then began to recount the shocking conversation.
"The eldest called the third one flat-chested, saying if she had a baby with the youngest, the poor kid would starve to death."
"A-And?"
"The third one fought back, calling her a crazy old hag who was throwing a fit just to fuck a guy five years younger than her."
"..."
"Sigh. I raised them wrong. Spitting out such vulgar language right in front of their father."
"..."
Your daughters are fighting to fuck your son, and your only issue is that they used bad language?!
This was far beyond the limits of my common sense. I turned my head and sent a silent SOS.
Kim Tae-yang. Save me.
But the clueless guy next to me, acting as if the spicy pork in front of him was the greatest thing on earth, had already finished half his rice. He picked up a green pepper and started spouting useless dirty jokes.
"Oh, Senior Lee. Isn't this one incredibly sturdy? Look at the firmness... the elasticity is just killer."
"Hmm... seeing that reminds me of the testicular necrosis syndrome inhibitor project we're working on."
"Right? Come to think of it... it's amazing that even with science so advanced, diseases like that still exist..."
"Medicine is a profound field. That's why we must work harder."
I thought he was just talking nonsense. But then...
Wait.
The flow of the conversation had naturally shifted. The ambient noise of the restaurant returned to normal.
Surprised by the change, I slowly looked around and locked eyes with Kim Tae-yang. His gaze carried a clear message, as if to say he had successfully received my distress signal.
Did that work?
Do you even need to ask...?
You're the absolute best!
When I subtly gave him a thumbs-up, Kim Tae-yang returned the gesture. I was deeply moved.
He didn't marry a woman eight years younger than him for nothing!
Touched by my reliable ally's distraction, I thoroughly enjoyed the spicy pork before it could get cold and finished my lunch.
"Whew... that was a good meal."
"Thanks for the meal, Senior. What kind of coffee would you like?"
"Hmm? No, it's fine. I have some business to attend to. You two go ahead."
Lee Do-hyun, who had been checking his phone toward the end of the meal, hurriedly left as if he had urgent business.
Since he had paid for our lunch, I had wanted to buy him coffee, but...
Where is he going in such a rush?
Watching him walk away, we headed to a nearby cafe.
"Hey, Tae-yang. What are you getting?"
"Hmm. Ice Americano."
"Two iced Americanos, please."
The two drinks were prepared in an instant. Receiving them from the smiling female android in front of us, we headed to the seats inside.
Once we settled into a suitable spot, our previous conversation resumed.
"Hey, Tae-yang. Am I the weird one, or is Senior Lee?"
"Huh? About what?"
"I mean... is it normal for family members to do that kind of stuff so casually?"
"Ah. That?"
Hearing that, Kim Tae-yang adjusted his posture. I pulled my chair a bit closer as well.
Kim Tae-yang quietly scanned the surroundings before speaking to me.
"I'll tell you if you tell me what happened with your daughter yesterday first."
"Oh, come on."
He had set such a serious mood that I thought I'd finally get the sensible answer I wanted, but I was wrong.
Wearing a sly grin, Kim Tae-yang spoke as if eagerly anticipating my response.
"I mean, dude, how could I not be curious? The legendary Park Seong-chan sent his daughter to Hanam University!"
"Just what kind of image do I have at the institute?"
When I stared at him in disbelief, Kim Tae-yang shot back with equal disbelief. "You really don't know?"
"Of course I don't know, that's why I'm asking!"
"Sigh. Those poor people."
"What? Who's poor?"
"Never mind."
Kim Tae-yang sighed and continued.
"Dude, you never make dirty jokes, you're well-groomed, and your behavior is flawless. Your hobbies are cooking and working out. You have a great body, you're a Senior Researcher at the National Pleasure Research Institute, and you're single. Where else in the world would you find a guy like that these days?"
"Why?"
Isn't that just normal?
I mean, sure, in this world, things might be different, but just because everyone else does it doesn't mean I have to follow suit. And is there really no one else like me?
Even looking at the guy right in front of me, he only makes dirty jokes when it's just us guys... I'd never seen him actually act on them otherwise.
"Why?? No... never mind. I guess you live like that because that's how you react."
"No, seriously, why? You're the same way."
"That's why I got married. But did you know? Even now, there are plenty of women who say they like me."
"What?"
"Every now and then, girls come up to me saying they don't even care if they're not the primary wife, they just want my love."
"..."
What kind of bizarre nonsense was that?
So even though he clearly has a wife... they cling to him, begging for love?
When I stood speechless with a bewildered expression, Kim Tae-yang smirked. "Hey, you think I'm lying, don't you?"
Kim Tae-yang showed me his phone screen. Looking at it, I realized it was the truth.
"Wow... I mean, I shouldn't speak ill of strangers, but do they have no conscience?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, seriously. Going after a taken man? Are they out of their minds?"
"It happens."
"What?"
As my jaw dropped, Kim Tae-yang responded as if it were no big deal.
"I'm part of the Pure Love Faction, so I don't accept them, but for the Harem Faction, it's not a problem at all."
"The Harem... Faction?"
"Yeah. Oh, and did you see the birth gender ratio recently? They said it's 1 to 8 now. The male ratio is steadily declining."
"Not the birth rate... but the birth gender ratio? Is there really such a thing?"
Kim Tae-yang scrolled through his phone and showed me a graph. It plotted males versus females; as the years progressed, the line representing females soared toward the sky, while the line for males plummeted as if it were going to crash through the bottom of the screen.
"Yeah. That's the main reason society became so sexually open in the first place. The male ratio is shrinking. Haven't you noticed anything weird?"
"Huh?"
"Just look at our institute. We have a lot of employees, right?"
"Y-Yes?"
"But isn't it strange? The only guys are Lead Researcher Lee Do-hyun, you, me, and barely anyone else, right?"
Now that I think about it, he's right. Our institute had very few men. Almost everyone was female.
"You're right. Now that I think about it, it really is like that."
"Exactly. That's why women acting like that isn't a problem. In fact, it's normal."
"Hmm... I didn't know."
"Yeah. So nowadays, women who belong to the Pure Love Faction and live with just one man are actually envied."
Have I been living too out of touch with the world...?
Come to think of it, I hadn't had time to pay attention to anything else. In the early days after my transmigration, I was busy adapting to this world and controlling my body. Once I finally adjusted, I met A-yeong. And raising A-yeong meant I was constantly busy with parenting and work. Living in such a hectic rush, I had suddenly hit my thirties and ended up where I was today.
"Sigh... I guess I've been living under a rock."
"Well... I get it. You raised an adopted daughter all by yourself. That's why I congratulated you when I heard you sent her to Hanam University."
Huh? But he congratulated me because she went to Hanam University? That meant... he knew what Hanam University was.
"Wait... so you knew what Hanam University was all along?"
I glared at Kim Tae-yang with resentment. He replied with a look of utter disbelief.
"Huh? Isn't that obvious? How could someone who doesn't even know about Hanam University get into this institute? It's harder to get in here than you think."
It was that hard to get in here? I had no idea.
No wonder... when I transmigrated, I had so much knowledge... At first, it had been a struggle just to internalize information I didn't actually know.
I scratched the back of my head, pretending I had known but temporarily forgotten. "Ah. Ah, right. Of course."
"Well... there is a male quota, but most guys aren't that interested in studying anyway."
*Slurp.*
Kim Tae-yang looked down at his nearly empty coffee cup and spoke to me.
"So... how did it go? Did things go well with your daughter?"
"W-Well..."
How the hell am I supposed to tell him that I got an erection from French kissing my daughter? There was absolutely no way I could say that.
As I hurriedly grabbed my empty cup and tried to stand up, Kim Tae-yang grabbed my wrist and forced me back into the chair.
"Don't even think about running away. I'm definitely hearing the story today."
—- Junior researcher Yun Seo-yeon, letting out a sigh.
