A New Year's Wish
Shiki, it’s almost New Year’s. Shall we go to Hatsumode together?
The moment I picked up the phone, the words that left my mouth were strangely out of place. For some, they might have sounded rude. I was simply too distracted to worry about manners.
In truth, it was almost New Year’s. I had been buzzing with excitement, researching everything I needed for Hatsumode with Shiki.
First, I found clothes. Shiki always wore kimono, so I wanted to try one too—just to feel the right fit.
Wearing matching outfits with each other was an incredibly thrilling idea for a high-school boy like me.
I went to the department store and asked the clerk who had once recommended Shiki’s red leather jacket.
The jacket was one Shiki wore constantly. Before vacation, he wore it every single day. I had jokingly asked if he bought several copies just to rotate them, and to my surprise, he confirmed it.
Buying me clothes and he still wearing the exact same ones every day?
My reaction… well, I’ll let that sink in.
Anyway, the clerk recognized me. Maybe it was because I was taller than most Japanese people, or perhaps because of my strange request for a coat that would suit a kimono.
“What are you buying today?”
“A kimono, please.”
“…Congratulations! Next time, you’ll come together?”
“Huh?”
“Huh?”
The clerk probably thought I was already dating Shiki. I quickly explained I was buying a men’s kimono, and the clerk showed clear disappointment. But as a professional, she recovered with a smile and brought out various options.
“Since it’s almost New Year, many people are shopping right now~ This navy blue really suits men like you…”
I half-listened to her explanation and let the other half drift away, while my eyes wandered over the clothes. My fashion sense was as bad as Shiki’s and Mikiya’s—I only wore things they approved of.
“Who are you going to Hatsumode with~?”
The clerk asked with a friendly smile. I was about to say I was going with a girl I knew, but then remembered I hadn’t actually made plans with Shiki. I had been so excited about going together that I forgot to tell her.
“I’m done for…”
“Excuse me?”
“What day is today?”
“December 29th.”
By rough calculation, I had barely any time left. It was too late. I kept thinking, “No way,” but I also had to consider the worst-case scenario that Shiki might already have made plans with someone else.
“Thank you. I’ll take this one. Have a happy New Year!”
“Customer? Customer?”
I snatched the kimono from the clerk’s hand and paid on the spot, then ran home as fast as I could.
When I arrived, the moon had already slipped behind the mountain. It was too late to call. I was still breathing hard from the sprint and could barely catch my breath. Every ringtone made my heart race.
Ding.
The phone was picked up. For a split second, the world seemed to brighten. I held the phone with joy and made my offer, but the voice that answered was not the woman I knew—it belonged to a deep-voiced man in his thirties.
“Miss is still sleeping.”
Akitaka. Shiki’s personal butler, I had heard. We were barely more than acquaintances, having only met faces. Moreover, his presence felt ghostly, and it made me uneasy. I knew he was kind, but awkwardness was unavoidable.
I resented the old me who had spoken so casually, assuming the person on the other end was definitely Shiki. Back then, I hadn’t considered that by now most people would be asleep.
Ah, whatever. I opened my eyes wide and took a deep breath. My heart was still pounding, but I felt my tense body begin to relax.
Not Shiki. I would ask my questions. I had to gather as much information as possible so I could call her by tomorrow at the latest.
“Does the Ryougi family perform its own New Year’s prayers?”
The family was so grand that I thought it was natural for them to host their own events.
The reply came instantly.
“No, Miss dislikes that sort of thing, so she has gone alone every year.”
Another reason the butler made me uncomfortable was because he seemed to like me. As someone who had rarely received kindness, I couldn’t guess why a thirty-year-old manservant would show me any favor.
“Then, when Shiki wakes up, could you ask if she’ll go with me?”
“Please wait a moment.”
About fifteen seconds passed with no sound from the phone. Then I heard something clinking.
“Hello?”
The voice that answered was female. It belonged to someone I knew well. The slight drowsiness in her tone told me she had only just woken up.
I cleared my throat, took a bottle of water from the fridge, and drank. I finally closed my eyes and spoke.
“Good evening, Shiki. Good night.”
“It doesn’t seem like a good reason to wake someone who was sleeping.”
“Did I disappoint you?”
No answer came. After a moment of silence, Shiki spoke first.
“...What is it?”
“Since it’s New Year’s, I called to ask if you’d like to go to Hatsumode together.”
“...”
“You’ve always gone alone before, so I thought maybe going with you would be nice.”
“Sure.”
Eh? I asked without thinking.
“I said sure.”
I blinked twice. That was easy? I had expected at least a polite refusal.
In school I saw Shiki every day, and she never reacted much when I approached. I figured our relationship was ambiguous, completely separate from the feelings I had for her.
Moreover, the incident from before vacation—the rooftop rush and confession—was still so vivid in my dreams that it left me kicking off my blanket. Because I never received an answer and had to endure the vacation period, a distance still lingered between us.
“So, Akagawa, you weren’t even thinking of going with me, yet you called?”
“That’s not true! Thank you!”
The brisk reply made a tiny sound come from the other end. It was so soft I couldn’t tell if it was laughter or the rustle of leaves in the wind.
Shiki made plans to meet at the shrine at eleven o’clock and hung up. For a long time afterward, a mix of joy and nervousness refused to leave me.
I could clearly picture myself feeling exactly like this if we ever met alone. And if we met alone, it would be a real date. Oh god. My confidence was completely gone.
I slapped my cheeks hard enough to make a sound. My face stung. Pain was a good way to wake the mind. I would worry about tomorrow when tomorrow came.
///////////////////
The weather was so cold that every breath I took came out as white vapor. I had no choice but to wear the kimono over my jacket. The jacket reached all the way down to my legs, unlike Shiki’s red jacket that ended neatly at the waist.
“You look great today! Shiki.”
“Akagawa looks a bit odd.”
I laughed awkwardly. My body was never as perfect as Shiki’s, so any strange outfit showed immediately. I could never pull off the weird fashion of wearing a jacket over a kimono like she did.
Shiki was wearing a yellow-orange kimono today, and she still wore her red jacket properly. It looked cold enough that people who passed by glanced at us once or twice.
“Shall we go?”
The person involved didn’t seem to care at all. Maybe she could walk around in pajamas during winter. I had once entertained the thought.
I followed behind Shiki, who walked half a step ahead. The shrine was located far from the city, and it was smaller than the size of Mifune City should have demanded. It was an isolated shrine, one that only locals knew.
That was also its charm. The few visitors meant I could wander freely, and the absence of the crowded underground-train atmosphere was nice.
I dropped a coin and clapped my hands. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, then prayed. There were many New Year’s prayers, but none were as famous as the one performed right now on the first of January as we crossed into the new year.
“What did you wish for, Shiki?”
I bought a coffee from the vending machine and handed it to her. Shiki took a sip and asked me to answer first.
“Me? I just want to keep seeing Shiki. How’s that?”
“Creepy.”
Shiki’s impression was plain. The lack of roundabout speech was both her strength and weakness.
“Then it’s my turn to answer.”
Instead of replying, Shiki turned her head to the side. When I turned to face her, she turned away again. The childish feeling made me smile.
“Will you answer next time?”
“...I’ll think about it.”
The reason I had to live until next year had increased. It wasn’t that I wanted to die early.
We finished the prayer and checked the fortune papers. Each of us held a sheet and unfolded it at once.
“A curse.”
“Ah… I drew a curse. What about you, Shiki?”
Shiki’s paper showed “Great Curse” in large letters. It was impressive that she had drawn the only one of its kind.
“Oh… fortunes are just fortunes, right? Not that important?”
“Not at all. I don’t care. They’re just scraps of paper.”
The tone was a little sharp. Sensing my mood from the way I mentioned “Shiki,” I realized I was not pleased.
What could cheer me up? While I was pondering, a white snowflake drifted in front of my eyes. Snow began to fall from the sky. The snow that sprinkled down like salt was weak, and it did not accumulate—it vanished as soon as it touched the ground.
“Here, Shiki.”
I reached out to her. Shiki, who had been sitting on the bench, took my hand and stood up. I brushed the snow from her shoulders. The physical contact felt surprisingly natural. She herself didn’t seem to mind.
I crumpled the fortune papers—one with “Great Curse” in Shiki’s hand and one with “Curse” in mine—and tossed them far into the distance. The papers flew away on the wind.
A sense of relief washed over me. These things only made people unhappy for no reason. I looked back at Shiki, who had been watching my every move.
Looking at Shiki’s expressionless face, people felt both beauty and fear at the same time.
Her appearance was like a painting, and it seemed to draw an invisible line between herself and others.
Everyone else had already left. She disliked people. She didn’t hate them, but she felt little need to get close.
I had once been the same. But now all I felt was beauty. Even if Shiki kicked a cat, it would still look beautiful to me. Had I gone mad?
“Why?”
Well, it was fine to go mad. I had crossed too many boundaries to go back now.
“Then, Shiki, I wish you a good year this year too.”
“...I wish the same for you.”
Hearing Shiki’s shy reply made me smile brightly.
This was still the first day of the year, and there were still months left until February.