Ruining the Princess's Inspection (1)
Lately, the ground trembles faintly amid booming rumbles more often than not. It's the noise from those "cars" Bella built, leaping into action. Complaints should be rolling in by now, but thanks to Tragodia's notorious reputation, not a single protest has surfaced.
The vehicles are named Bouncers. A hopelessly mismatched moniker for their hulking frames, but when the creator insists, there's no arguing.
"Vivaldi-nim, hang in there today too……! Hehe."
"……You too, Haru-ssi."
Haru plops a box of documents onto my desk with a thud as she speaks. Ever since production ramped up on the Bouncers, request processing has sped up dramatically. Naturally, the paperwork I have to handle has ballooned in proportion.
I snatch up a document, stifling a sigh to avoid tempting Marie into pawing at my wings.
"High official's heir inspection plan……? Who the hell came up with this……?"
I mutter under my breath, but Guild Master Veronica must have overheard—she flinches. She's usually swamped with external affairs, yet here she stands by the bulletin board, maybe picking up a request? Even she must find this ridiculous.
Labyrinth City isn't a playground, and neither are its adventurer guilds. Heir to some high official or not…
"Ah, that was Guild Master-nim's own idea."
"No wonder it struck me as such brilliant foresight!"
At Marie's words, I shoot up from my seat, deliberately raising my voice.
An inspection like this is a big deal. Building ties with Labyrinth City's guilds is crucial for securing high-grade magic stones. Our guild's already trading with the Kingdom of Jenoran, after all. Exposing kids to the on-site atmosphere early on could help build future partnerships.
I glance at Veronica, sweat beading on my brow. Her shoulders slump a bit more than before.
My goal is expulsion from the guild, sure…… but insulting the guild master to her face might end worse than that.
"Vivi~ Busy~?"
"Uh…… y-yeah…… super busy……."
Helen saunters past the reception desk toward me. A bad feeling stirs, and I avert my eyes.
"Wanna chat with Auntie for a sec?"
"I'm busy……?"
"Up you go~!"
"Eep……!"
Ignoring my protests, Helen plops into my chair, hoists me up, and parks me on her plush thighs. One hand strokes my hair, the other wraps around my lower belly. Humiliation and helplessness flush my face hot.
"Saw the thing about the high official's heir coming for an inspection?"
"Ah, yeah…… just now."
"It's imperial family from the Elaithe Empire."
"What?!"
The Elaithe Empire is the continent's superpower, but on bad terms with every other nation. They're gunning for world conquest, after all. The empire doesn't trade with Labyrinth City's guilds—the guilds have locked in deals with aligned countries, who band together to check the empire. Plus, the empire has its own Great Labyrinth rivaling this one, so no real need.
"Not just us. The imperial court requested tours at guilds across the board. Maybe they're desperate for more high-grade stones and probing for new trade partners."
"I-I see."
"No reason to turn it down, so Veronica accepted. She seems pretty hyped—Auntie here's planning to pitch in too. Which brings me to……."
"Eep……."
Helen's finger tickles my belly lightly. I feel like a good dog curled obediently in its owner's lap.
"When the imperial kid shows, how about you give the guild tour, Vivi?"
"What?!"
"You're from the Elaithe Empire, right? Wouldn't it feel more welcoming for the kid if you step up instead of Veronica or me?"
"K-Kali-nim's from the empire too, isn't she?"
"……You serious? You'd hand it to her?"
"J-Joking, of course."
"Knew it~"
No way they'd parade that skimpy-dressed, perpetually pissed-off woman before royalty. And thinking it over…… isn't this a golden opportunity?
"I'll handle the tour. Leave it to me."
"Thanks! With you on it, I can really relax~"
Helen beams, satisfied, sets me down, and heads off.
"Heh heh……."
I let slip a villainous chuckle, pure evil.
Relax while you can. Imperial or not, I have zero intention of treating them right. Sure, as an empire citizen, I can't be outright rude to royalty…… but flashing incompetence? Piece of cake.
Things have gone sideways so far, but I'm originally talentless! The guild master's probably eager to trade with the empire too. But if I make Tragodia look pathetic, it'll all crumble.
She won't tolerate that embarrassment—expulsion, incoming.
"Vivaldi-nim. Overheard unintentionally."
"Heard you're fronting for the imperial."
"May I, your secretary, assist with…… preparations?"
"E-Eh? N-No, don't……!"
The Marie clones close in with shady glints in their eyes. I fend them off desperately, but six arms pin me down for a one-sided makeover.
* * *
Third Princess of the Elaithe Empire, Vanessa Bielrain, lounged in the back seat of the imperial carriage. Her temple rested against the window as she gazed indifferently at the blurring scenery.
Her escort knight, seated beside her, ventured cautiously, "Your Highness. That'll ruin your carefully styled hair."
"……Whatever. Not like I need to impress them."
"Your Highness……."
"This is Mother's test. She'll score the child who breaks through rival nations' blockades to secure trade in Labyrinth City."
"All the more reason to mind your image, no?"
"Nah. This confirms it—I'm out of Mother's favor."
The guild she's headed to—Tragodia, was it? Top-tier fame among adventurers. But the more prestigious, the less they'd risk empire ties. Least promising spot, so here she is.
"Your Highness, please don't say that…"
"Sorry. If I flop, you're in a bind too."
The knight's status ties to her rank. This one's scheming for Vanessa on the throne, nothing more.
"I care not for that. Only Your Highness's—"
"When we arrive, play the haughty knight. Sneer at the adventurers' filth in their faces."
"……Your Highness, that might make them—"
"Might as well go all-in on this lost cause."
"We've arrived, Your Highness."
At the driver's words, the princess lifts her head from the window. Leaning while the maid opens the door would just be awkward.
Taking the maid's hand, Vanessa steps out and grimaces. Labyrinth City's stench hits different—stuffy, unpleasant, unlike the palace.
The city started as wasteland; no one bothers with upkeep. Expected.
"This is the Tragodia Adventurer's Guild…… right?"
"Yes, Your Highness."
The guild hall dwarfs expectations—bigger than most noble mansions. She'd imagined bandit dens till now. Maybe more dignified than thought.
"Third Princess of the Elaithe Empire, Vanessa Bielrain, at your service."
"……Huh?"
Someone emerges from the hall, bowing properly. Vanessa's eyes widen in shock. The women behind him bow in sync—all identical.
Shocking as the clones are, the real stunner is the man up front.
Wh-what the hell is that creature……?
Round face, smooth skin, petite build, lean frame. That pert ass nearly drew her hand instinctively. Sleek black hair tied low, exposing a flawless white neck—art. Those golden eyes, shadowed dark with fatigue. Cute face oozing decadent allure? Cheat.
"Whoa……."
"……Ahem, Your Highness?"
"Ah, a-ah! Th-thank you for the warm welcome. Might I have your name?"
Nearly drooling, Vanessa snaps back at the knight's nudge, blurting her line.
"Receptionist Vivaldi of Tragodia. Currently acting vice guild master. And……."
Vivaldi pauses, shyly scratching his cheek seductively. His fidgeting drives Vanessa wild.
"Th-the guild calls me Vivi…… I'm, uh, twenty."
Pop!
Vanessa swears something bursts in her head. Maybe steam's venting from her ears.