The Imperial Inspector's Appetite

Imperial Inspector.

A loyal servant appointed directly by the Son of Heaven himself. As an official of the imperial supervisory bureau, he possessed the authority to wield terrifying power despite holding a modest formal rank.

The scribe standing before me had a face somewhat younger than his depiction in the original story, but he was undeniably the very same Imperial Inspector who had spent his days cleaning up the Imperial Princess's catastrophic wake.

The trouble was that because his charge was who she was, his actual existence had been reduced to that of a perennially suffering, overworked bureaucrat.

Could the Imperial Princess be somewhere nearby?

I had zero desire to become "Extra Kang," obliterated in the wake of her golden tempest. When the forecast predicts a natural disaster, the only proper response is to flee at maximum speed.

I hastily surveyed the room.

"Constable Kang, who are you looking for?" the Chief Constable asked, noticing my restless glances.

She wasn't here. Time to cast a subtle line.

"I thought I caught a glimpse of an astonishing beauty just now."

If she were lurking around or pulling off another wild antic, the Chief Constable might remain oblivious, but her designated Imperial Inspector would surely flinch.

"A beauty inside the yamen? Did someone invite courtesans for a banquet without telling me? No, that can't be right. Did you mistake someone else?"

Neither of them had the faintest clue.

"Ah, I've been rather fatigued lately. My eyes must be playing tricks on me."

Emergency Red Alert canceled. Downgraded to Yellow Alert.

"Tsk, tsk. You've been carrying quite a heavy burden lately. Understandable. I'll make this quick so you can rest, so follow me to my office."

I nodded, discreetly trailing behind while keeping my eyes fixed on the Imperial Inspector walking beside the Chief Constable.

In the original game, he didn't make his entrance until after the Imperial Princess ran away from the palace. Does that mean he hasn't been assigned to her yet?

Whether he was the Emperor's faithful retainer or already acquainted with the princess, he couldn't play babysitter until she actually broke out into the world. For now, he was simply an ordinary Imperial Inspector on official duty.

So why is he ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠posing as a scribe?

Judging by the Chief Constable's knowing demeanor, the inspector I had asked to be introduced to was almost certainly this man standing right in front of me. And the masquerade was clearly meant for my benefit.

Why would an imperial censor stoop to impersonating a lowly clerk just to meet me? Let us piece the puzzle together and deduce the motive.

Aha. Of course.

A faint, imperceptible smirk tugged at the corner of my lips. I happened to be in dire need of an Imperial Inspector's authority right now.

Play this right, and I could turn this entire situation to my advantage.

"T-The black iron ingot! Because of you bastards, the black iron ingot! Guh!"

I offered an excessively melodramatic reenactment of the Provincial Governor keeling over from apoplexy, rivaling General Lu Meng coughing blood from all seven orifices in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

"I had no idea Constable Kang possessed such flair for storytelling," the Chief Constable remarked, chuckling. "You could easily earn a living as a street storyteller."

Both the Inspector and the Chief Constable chimed in with genuine admiration.

"Indeed! Far more gripping than any professional storyteller I have ever listened to! What happened next?"

The disguised Inspector was especially enthralled. Had I employed the street teller's cliffhanger technique right then, he looked ready to take out a high-interest loan just to shower me with silver.

He truly loathed the Provincial Governor. The rumor that he had nearly been stripped of his post after filing an impeachment report against the governor must have been true.

"The Provincial Governor remains bedridden to this day. And..."

Now that the primary tale was told, it was time to put the trap into motion.

I deliberately let my voice trail off, letting my gaze drift slowly from the Chief Constable over to the disguised Inspector.

There is a deeper story here that I cannot openly disclose. Wearing an expression that suggested words were clawing their way up my throat yet too dangerous to spill, I locked eyes with the Inspector for several loaded seconds.

"And? What else happened?"

Unable to bear the agonizing pause, the Inspector pressed me with palpable urgency.

"Never mind. That is all I have to report."

You understand what that means, don't you? That there are things I simply cannot put into an official report.

I'd love to share it, of course, but how could I possibly confide state secrets to a lowly scribe? Out of the question. It would take someone of at least an Imperial Inspector's caliber.

I adopted the rueful expression of a man holding his tongue after second thoughts, then took my seat.

"Constable Kang must truly be worn down to the bone. Shall I have a few packets of revitalizing herbal tonic sent to your home?"

"You are too kind, Chief Constable. But how could I complain of hardship when performing imperial duty?"

"Spoken like our very own Constable Kang! Ah, Scribe Jeong! Did you get all that down?"

"Pardon? Ah!"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Before the so-called Scribe Jeong lay a sheet of paper that held barely a handful of scattered strokes.

"I have pressing matters to attend to, so I shall take my leave first," the Chief Constable said. "Constable Kang, you may finish your report another time. If you are exhausted, feel free to head home."

Under normal circumstances, the Chief Constable would have bellowed at a clerk for failing to record a deposition. But one does not reprimand an imperial censor carrying a mandate from the Son of Heaven.

Offering a dry, helpless smile, the Chief Constable slipped quietly out of the office.

"Constable Kang. I am terribly sorry," the Inspector apologized, wearing an embarrassed grimace.

"Not at all. I was simply too carried away trying to make the account vivid."

"If you would be so kind as to recount it from the middle, I will organize it properly."

"I believe you would need to start from the very beginning."

If this were an epic galactic saga, you haven't even finished writing 'A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...'

"Perhaps if we go over it once more, we might produce a far superior report," the Inspector said, leaning in. "You know... there might be things you were reluctant to utter before the Chief Constable, but could comfortably share with a mere clerk like myself."

Look at him nibbling the hook.

The Inspector likely believed he was cleverly probing me, entirely unaware that he was eagerly swallowing the bait I had dropped.

"Are you referring to the matter I hesitated to mention at the end?"

"Yes. Exactly that."

"If you wish to hear more, please pay me a visit next time and introduce yourself properly."

To make an imperial censor dance to my tune, I had to stoke his impatience.

My work here was finished. I rose from my chair.

"What did you just say?"

"I shall take my leave now, Imperial Inspector."

I turned on my heel, flashing a loaded smile at the Inspector, whose face froze into stone.

"...H-How did you know?! Where do you think you're going?"

"Ah, Chronicles of the Wind and Cloud Chivalric Hero."

I paused at the threshold and looked back at the Inspector, who had scrambled upright from his desk.

"What?"

"When you come visit me next, it would be best if you read Chronicles of the Wind and Cloud Chivalric Hero first. Good day to you."

"W-Wait! Hold on!"

Dying of curiosity, aren't you? If you want answers, go finish your homework first.

"Chief Constable! Did you reveal my identity to Constable Kang beforehand?!"

The moment Kang Yunho vanished through the door, the Inspector rushed over to the Chief Constable's office.

"Pardon? What on earth do you mean?"

"Then how in the world did he... No, forget it. Carry on with your duties."

Could they have met before? A black-haired constable was hardly someone he would have forgotten. On top of that, Kang Yunho had only recently been appointed to the post.

Furthermore, the Inspector had barely set foot outside the yamen ever since the Provincial Governor incident, making any prior encounter virtually impossible. He could not make heads or tails of it.

He had only disguised himself to listen to the downfall of the man he despised most in this world, yet it had culminated in this bewildering confrontation.

The black-haired constable was definitely hiding something. But because he had concealed his own identity first, he hadn't possessed the standing to detain and interrogate him on the spot.

"Inspector, you have returned. It seems your excursion was not particularly entertaining," the true yamen scribe remarked, observing the dark, brooding look on the Inspector's face as he reentered his private quarters.

"Scribe. Do you happen to know of a work titled Chronicles of the Wind and Cloud Chivalric Hero?"

What secret was Constable Kang harboring? Grasping for any lead, the Inspector asked about the clue he had been given.

"Is there anyone in Wuhan who doesn't know Chronicles of the Wind and Cloud Chivalric Hero these days? People are turning the city upside down just trying to secure the latest volume."

"Is it truly that popular? I have never held an interest in trivial pulp novels."

"Trivial pulp?! Did you just dare call Author Hopil's masterwork, Chronicles of the Wind and Cloud Chivalric Hero, trivial pulp?!"

The Inspector was caught entirely off guard as the scribe—a man who had never once raised his voice—suddenly bristled with righteous outrage, clutching a book tightly against his chest.

"W-What is the matter with you?"

"I spent the entirety of my day off standing in line from dawn till dusk just to purchase this very volume! When Author Hopil was slandered as a degenerate hack who only wrote erotic smut, he proudly proved his literary genius by stripping every drop of lust from his pages and delivering pure, unadulterated chivalry! How could you insult such a masterpiece by calling it trivial pulp?!"

As a proud, freshly inducted member of the Tea Book Club, the scribe could not let such blasphemy slide unanswered. Of course, such fanatical devotion meant nothing to the Inspector.

"How much did you pay for it?" the Inspector asked, snatching the complete set right out of the scribe's hands.

"Excuse me?"

"I will buy them from you at the price you paid."

If I strike an Imperial Inspector right here and now, will I be thrown into the deepest dungeon? the scribe found himself contemplating in utter seriousness.

"Young Master Kang! A young gentleman from the magistrate's office has arrived to see you."

I thought it would take him longer, but he couldn't even endure a single day.

Having arrived at the crack of dawn, the Imperial Inspector was ushered into the reception parlor by the maidservant.

"Welcome. I shall have tea prepared for you."

I needed to bend this Imperial Inspector to my will.

Whether he held ties to the Imperial Princess, would become her handler in the future, or was currently a loyal hound of the Emperor, none of that mattered. At present, he was simply an indispensable piece I had to drag into my grand design.

I greeted him with a warm, welcoming smile and motioned toward a seat.

"How did you know?"

The Inspector, however, had no intention of sitting down until his burning questions were settled. He glared at me, his face rigid with tension.

"Know what, exactly?"

"That I am an Imperial Inspector."

"Does that matter so much?"

"If you cannot provide proof, our next conversation may not take place inside a comfortable parlor, but somewhere far less hospitable."

What kind of wild conspiracy had he cooked up overnight? Or was he warning me that he would seize the ledger by force if necessary?

It made no difference to me. All I needed to do was prove why the world hailed me as the Famed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Constable.

"I knew you were no scribe the moment I laid eyes on you."

I spoke with the calm, effortless poise of an armchair detective deducing a culprit from a thousand leagues away.

"How?"

"Your fingertips. A scribe who grinds inkstones and writes all day long never has fingertips entirely free of ink."

"It was early morning. Did it not occur to you that I might have washed thoroughly before reporting to duty?" the Inspector countered, holding up his clean hands.

"No matter how vigorously one scrubs, it is nearly impossible to cleanse beneath the fingernails. That is why the undersides of a scribe's nails remain pitch-black, resembling the hands of a martial artist who practices poison arts."

Take a look at your own hands. You've been wandering from tavern to tavern, completely clean. Your trimmed nails haven't touched an ink brush in days.

"Even if you deduced that I was not a scribe, that does not leap to the conclusion that I am an Imperial Inspector."

The Inspector nodded grudgingly, yet offered another objection.

"You reeked of alcohol."

"Alcohol? An official having a drink the night before is hardly an extraordinary occurrence."

"For a haggard young official to march through the yamen reeking of liquor with unyielding arrogance is quite another matter. 'Who among you would dare fault me?' You walked with your spine rod-straight, yet not a single soul dared reprimand you. In fact, even the gray-haired, senior officials actively went out of their way to avoid crossing your path."

"...Continue."

"Far too young to be a high-ranking official. Yet possessing an authority that even high-ranking officials cannot disregard. And among them, a man who had an urgent personal motive to impersonate a lowly clerk. The pool of possibilities shrinks dramatically."

"..."

Could anyone truly deduce all of that in such a fleeting moment? A flash of sheer, unmasked bewilderment rippled across the Inspector's face.

In truth, I already knew his identity and simply retrofitted the clues backward to match.

"Why would such an individual take an interest in me? Because of the Shadowless Divine Thief? Or because of the purpose behind my visit to the yamen that day? Several possibilities remained, but evidence was lacking. In such a predicament, how does one narrow down the remaining suspects?"

I posed the question rhetorically, nudging him to supply the answer himself.

"...You deliberately adopted the dramatic tone of a street storyteller to observe my reaction?"

I fell right into his trap. A look of profound admiration washed over the Inspector's eyes.

"A man who harbors a vendetta against the Provincial Governor, possesses no high rank yet commands an office feared by senior bureaucrats. To my knowledge, there exists only one such official in the entire Wuhan yamen."

The truth is always only one!

Well? How's that for a deductive tour de force? I smiled placidly, awaiting his surrender.

The Inspector stared at me with his mouth slightly ajar, utterly stunned by my deductions, before slowly lowering his head in a deep bow.

"I apologize for my insolence. I believed the rumors surrounding the 'Famed Constable' to be baseless tavern gossip. If anything, they vastly underestimated you."

He acknowledged my reasoning with wholehearted sincerity.

"It is merely an unearned reputation. In truth, I am nothing more than a humble merchant temporarily playing constable amidst Wuhan's turmoil."

Even if I just cheated using my meta-knowledge of the plot.

"Allow me to introduce myself formally. Appointed by His Imperial Majesty—Imperial Inspector Jeong Mun-won."

"I shall have tea brought in. Do you have a particular preference?"

"Anything will suffice. What I truly desire is something else entirely."

"Did you read Chronicles of the Wind and Cloud Chivalric Hero?"

"I did. I took it for mere cheap pulp, but it was nothing of the sort. It was gripping enough to keep me from the bottle for the first time in an age."

"Then you must already understand the delicate backstory I could not speak of yesterday."

I took a slow sip of the fragrant tea—most likely brewed by Lady Ha Yeon—and carefully observed Jeong Mun-won's demeanor.

Could it be true? Is my suspicion correct? What if it really is? In the span of a single breath, flashes of wild hope, hesitation, and desperate yearning flickered endlessly through Jeong Mun-won's eyes.

Swallowing a mouthful of tea with great effort, he released a long, shuddering breath and asked:

"...Did the Shadowless Divine Thief deliver the Provincial Governor's secret ledger to you?"

"She did."

"Is that true?! How on earth?!"

"It seems the Shadowless Divine Thief took a personal liking to me."

Perhaps she mistook me for Yunhyeon, I added dryly in my mind.

"...What do you intend ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to do with it?"

Reinvigorated by the twin flames of hope and vengeance, Jeong Mun-won's eyes blazed fiercely. His entire posture practically screamed: Hand it over to me! I will put it to lethal use!

I fully intended to hand it over. But simply surrendering it would not fulfill my objective.

I must manipulate this Imperial Inspector to serve my purposes.

When I hand over the secret ledger, I must ensure that no suspicion or blowback falls upon me. Even as he eagerly clutches the ledger, he must be led to willingly credit the entire deed to the Shadowless Divine Thief.

The secret ledger is a baited hook.

Even if the Imperial Inspector sees the barb beneath the worm, I must make him swallow it whole.

And so:

"I intend to burn it."

"What?!"

Now then. Let the bargaining begin.