Let's Sleep Together
“You're going to live here?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Huh?”
What the hell is wrong with you, you crazy bastard? Ivan buried his face in his hands. The sheer absurdity of the situation made his brain grind to a complete halt.
Elena’s shoulders slumped slightly, looking a little dejected. “…Do you hate me that much?”
“No! That’s definitely not it! But shouldn't there be steps to this kind of thing? Moving in together right off the bat is a bit…”
“Ah, that's not what I meant, so don't worry.”
“Huh? What’s that supposed to…” Ivan felt a wave of relief, coupled with a faint twinge of disappointment. Then again, how else was someone supposed to interpret moving in together?
“I guess I should have explained this first,” Elena said calmly. “I'm a shaman.”
The moment those words left her lips, the old man shouted in sheer delight. “I knew it! There’s no way in hell any girl would follow a wretched punk like you all the way out here out of affection!”
Ivan glared daggers at his master. All right, but what does being a shaman have to do with anything?
“Judging by your face, you don't understand,” Elena continued. “Depending on one’s talent, there are differences, but coming into contact with the occult—with true mystery—is one of the ways a shaman cultivates spiritual power. And the caliber of your soul is colossal, rivaling any profound mystery.”
“So… you’re saying you can get stronger just by being near me?”
“More or less. So drop the honorifics from now on.”
It was far more transactional than he had anticipated. Ivan felt a bitter taste in his mouth. Wait, when you think about it, isn't this actually a win? Stick together long enough, and affection was bound to sprout even where there was none before. Before he knew it, Ivan was leaning back in an imaginary rocking chair, indulging in the sinister delusion of naming their third grandchild.
“Why are you grinning like that? It’s a little creepy.”
“……” Cold, harsh reality slapped him right across the face. The corners of Ivan’s mouth sagged.
The old man, thoroughly reveling in Ivan's misery, dusted off his clothes and stood up. “Well, now that that's settled, let's go beat the snot out of each other. Oh, and are you tagging along, young lady?”
“Yes, thank you…” Elena bowed her head, seemingly uncomfortable under the old man’s piercing gaze.
Ivan picked up on a slight trace of tension, but shrugged it off without much thought. It wasn't particularly important. After all, the old bastard did look like a convicted felon.
“Let's go, then.” Elena gently rested her small, pale hand atop Ivan’s rough knuckles. His mind went entirely blank.
“H-Hold on! Why are you holding my hand all of a sudden?!”
“Physical contact works better whenever possible. Didn't you say you'd do anything?”
“I… suppose I did.”
Ivan allowed himself to be dragged along like an awkward adolescent boy who had no idea what to do with his hands. Watching this display, the old man cracked his knuckles with a thoroughly displeased scowl.
“Aren't you standing a bit too close?”
“Any farther and the efficiency drops. This distance is just right.” Elena leaned her back against a nearby tree.
Observing this, the old man sneered. “Oh, look at you, playing the devoted gallant. Why don’t you worry about your own hide instead of fretting over someone else? You're getting beaten half to death today.”
“Man, that nasty temper of yours never changes. Coming, I’m coming.”
Watching the two men slowly close the distance between them, Elena felt a flicker of doubt. Did they really need to be this far apart? And he’d thought she was standing too close?
The moment the two exchanged grins and slammed their fists together, her question was answered. An explosive roar erupted, sounding as though two siege engines had collided head-on.
“……” The sheer shockwave ruffled her white hair. Wordlessly, Elena took several steps back.
“…Is it over?” Elena peeked her head out from behind a boulder and scanned her surroundings.
Ancient trees centuries old were snapped clean in half or torn out by their roots, while craters pockmarked the churned earth. The forest, so tranquil just moments ago, had been utterly devastated in the blink of an eye. Anyone stumbling upon the scene would have assumed a typhoon had barreled through—or that two giants had waged a war of annihilation.
“Master, seems like you're running out of tricks, aren't you?”
“Bullshit. I was matching your level, you whelp. If I fought you for real, it wouldn't even be a contest.”
Even as the landscape lay reshaped in ruins around them, the culprits merely traded idiotic banter.
Elena closed her eyes for a moment to inspect her inner spiritual realm. She could feel a distinctly noticeable breakthrough. To think she had reaped such gains merely from the fallout of two titanic souls clashing—it far exceeded her expectations. Perhaps my plans can be moved up sooner than expected, Elena thought with a faint smile. Then another thought immediately followed: Still, I shouldn't follow them out here next time. If she were ever caught in the crossfire of that madness, they wouldn't even find her bones.
“Judging by your face, young lady, you made quite a bit of progress.”
“Yes, thanks to you both. I’m truly grateful.” When Elena bowed respectfully, the corners of the old man’s eyes crinkled in satisfaction.
“Such polite manners, so completely different from that good-for-nothing who looks down on his own master.”
“If you want respect, shouldn't you act respectable first? Says the guy who throws punches at the drop of a hat.”
“Listen to this brat talking back while an elder is speaking…”
Just because a man possessed heroic might didn't mean his conduct would be equally heroic. Even so, this was… Elena stared at the bickering pair, thoroughly disillusioned.
Their petty bickering carried on until dusk began to settle. Before the sun slipped completely beneath the horizon, the three returned to the cabin and shared a simple meal, and soon night fell over the mountains.
Elena yawned behind a delicate hand, looking somewhat exhausted, prompting Ivan to gauge the mood. “Ah, guess it's about time to sleep. I don't mind sleeping on the floor, so you take the bed.”
“What are you talking about? I told you earlier.”
“Told me what…?”
“It's best to have as much physical contact as possible.” Elena lay straight down onto the bed and tilted her head toward him. “What are you standing around for? Come sleep with me.”
“……!!”
Before he could even gather his wits, a dizzying bombshell hit him square in the face. Ivan squeezed his eyes shut.
“Why look so shocked? Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything weird.”
“I… even if you don't do anything weird, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind…”
“What does that even mean?”
“…Nothing. Just pretend you didn't hear that.”
“Then hurry up and get in. I'm tired.”
He was in checkmate. Ivan cast a desperate look at his venerable master, practically begging for salvation. Master, save me!
The old man glared at Ivan as if he’d like nothing more than to beat him to death on the spot, then spoke with absolute nonchalance. “I know a good trick. Close your eyes for a second.”
“My eyes? Why all of a sudden…” Though puzzled, Ivan obediently shut his eyes.
Before Ivan could even react, the old man swung with full force and slammed a fist into his jaw. Ivan promptly drifted off into a deep, peaceful slumber.
With a sour grimace, the old man hoisted Ivan's limp frame and dumped him onto the bed. “No matter what you do to him, he won't wake up until tomorrow morning, so do as you please, young lady. This old man will sleep outside tonight.”
“…Thank you?”
“Don't mention it. What kind of tactless geezer hangs around between youngsters at this hour?”
Elena stared blankly as the old man shut the door and walked out, only snapping back to her senses a beat later. Ivan lay sprawled out so completely limp that one might have wondered if he was actually dead.
“You're not pretending to be knocked out, are you?” Elena reached out a slender finger and poked his cheek. Ivan’s brow twitched faintly, but other than that, he remained motionless. “Pardon me, then. There are no personal feelings involved.”
Not that he could hear her anyway. Offering the excuse out of politeness, Elena rested her hand atop Ivan’s chest. The heart was the core of physical life, holding immense significance in shamanic arts as well. Beneath the dense plates of muscle, she could feel a colossal life force throbbing steadily.
“Ah…” An unconscious gasp slipped past her lips. Could this truly belong to the same species? At the same time, spiritual stimulation surged upward from the tips of her toes, racing through her body. A tingling, electric thrill enveloped her senses.
At some point, the beats of their two hearts overlapped, harmonizing until they could no longer be told apart. How much time had passed? A wave of profound exhaustion washed over Elena.
“I’ll say it again… there are no personal feelings… involved.” Even she didn't know who she was trying to convince. Elena wrapped her arms and legs around Ivan’s massive frame. He was astonishingly warm. Her eyelids grew impossibly heavy, and just like that, Elena sank into a deep sleep.
Morning sunlight tapped against Ivan’s eyelids. He grimaced, stirring from sleep. His jaw throbbed with a dull ache. He was pretty sure something had happened yesterday…
“…Huh?”
As his senses cleared, that dull ache ceased to matter in the slightest. A sweet, subtle scent tickled his nose, and soft, warm flesh was draped over his body. Ivan stiffly turned his head and stared blankly at Elena’s face as she softly breathed against him. This was definitely not a dream.
“Mmmgh…” Elena fluttered her eyelashes, her gaze slowly focusing until her vivid blue eyes locked directly onto Ivan’s.
“……?”
“……?”
An awkward silence stretched between them.
As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, Elena casually untangled her limbs and turned her head away with a sharp snap. “I told you… physical contact is… better…”
Her tone remained as flat and deadpan as ever, but she couldn't hide the crimson blush blazing across the tips of her ears.
Now this is what living is all about. Ivan felt as though he could die right this second without a single regret.