Chapter 174
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 174
Chapter Title: Confession (2)
"I know you're a regressor, Yu-ju."
The moment she heard my words, Seo Yu-ju's face froze solid.
As if time itself had stopped for her.
"What do you...?"
Seo Yu-ju's pupils trembled, like she couldn't believe her ears, as if she'd misheard.
'Damn it...'
"What... what are you talking about...?"
I took a deep breath and explained at length.
"... I know this isn't the first round, but the second. And I know that in the first round, you and I were lovers."
Seo Yu-ju stared blankly, unable to process my words.
"What does that even... mean... You knew I was a regressor?"
"... Yes."
She asked again in disbelief.
"... Since when?"
"From the beginning. Or more precisely, since I met you during the tutorial."
"How...?"
As I kept confessing everything to her, my mouth went dry.
"... My unique trait lets me see other people's status windows. I saw 'Regressor' listed in your title tab."
"Ah..."
She stared blankly for a while after my words, then spoke in a trembling voice.
"Then... you knowing we were lovers means..."
"... I can't go into details, but when I visited the Library of Records, I could see records from the first round. Including ones about you and me..."
"Yun-seong..."
I couldn't continue as she called my name with a desperate look on her face.
Just like she used to in the first round.
"Yun-seong... sob..."
'Ha...'
... I still hadn't told her the real truth.
"Then, then why did you pretend not to know all this time...? Because you don't have those memories with me?"
She seemed to think I was uncomfortable because I hadn't personally experienced the first round's memories, only glimpsed them through the Library of Records.
"... No, that's not it. There was another reason..."
"Yun-seong, talk casually to me. Please? I'm... I'm so happy... that you remember the first-round me..."
'Don't do this.'
"I'm glad those times we spent together weren't meaningless... Really glad..."
I dreaded the aftermath she'd face.
"... Seo Yu-ju."
"Yeah, yeah... call me like that."
Her tear-filled smile was nothing but a dagger twisting in my heart right now.
"Seo Yu-ju, I... I only ever planned to use you. From the moment I met you in the tutorial, I took advantage of your goodwill toward me, your superior stats, and the fact that you were a regressor."
"That's... natural if you can see status windows. I'm fine. Something like that won't..."
'Ha...'
"... Won't what?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Use me, Yun-seong. For you, I'd..."
"Do you think my first-round self really loved you?"
"Huh...?"
She looked confused, like she had no idea what I meant.
"Fuck, if you think I was actually into you and that's why we became lovers in the first round... you're dead wrong."
"What... are you saying...?"
I was basically carving up her heart with a knife right now.
'But I have to say it.'
Still, I believed this was necessary—for her sake and mine.
"I... didn't like you in the first round. I was just pretending. You didn't know, so..."
As I continued, she dropped a bombshell.
"... I knew."
"What?"
"... I knew."
I couldn't comprehend what she was saying for a moment.
"Knew... what... exactly?"
She forced the words out.
"... I didn't at first. But as we spent time together, I realized. You didn't like me."
"What, what did you say?"
"But what could I do? I'd already fallen for you before I figured it out..."
Watching her pour out her desperate words, I could only stare blankly.
"You think I wouldn't notice you forcing yourself to act sweet, giving me those awkward smiles? Wrong... I knew all along..."
"......"
This... I never saw it coming. It wasn't even on my list of possibilities.
"But what can you do about it? I thought... someday you'd come around for me. And in the end, you did. You liked me too."
"What...?"
'Ah...'
I knew what she meant.
Tears streaming down, she choked out the words.
"Sob... You died protecting me... You died in my place!"
"......"
'Damn it all...'
"That was..."
"You died trying to protect me! After that day, I've..."
In this situation, there was no way I could tell her I'd staged my death as murder to make her regress.
Taking my silence as confirmation, she shot up from her chair and walked over to me.
"What...?"
She hugged me tight and sobbed.
"Please... don't say you don't like me. Even in the second round... I'll make you like me... I'll do anything... okay?"
"....."
... My face was probably a mess right now.
Her love for me was beyond anything I could measure.
I couldn't bring myself to tell her the rest of the truth.
Forget the first round—even in this second one, I'd been deceiving her up to now. And she'd heard that she'd been pretending not to know too, without the full story.
Yet here she was, still clinging to me. I hadn't expected that.
'.....'
Suddenly, Ha Yu-ri's words came back to me.
Don't pretend to be a good person.
'... Yeah, maybe it's a role that never fit me anyway.'
It'd be easier to just act like the trash I am. At least in front of Seo Yu-ju right now, I couldn't reveal any more.
"... Seo Yu-ju."
"Yeah...?"
She was still holding me.
From this position, she couldn't see my face.
"I'm a bigger piece of trash than you think."
"It's okay. I'll try harder."
An absurd response. No matter how hard she tried, it wouldn't erase what I'd done to her.
"So don't push me away... please..."
"... About Ho-yeon."
The mention of Wi Ho-yeon's name made her meet my eyes and cut in.
"What's your relationship with Ho-yeon?"
I hesitated, and she asked with trembling eyes.
"Did you... sleep with Ho-yeon?"
"... Yeah."
She squeezed her eyes shut and bowed her head at my answer.
Knowing about my first-round relationship with her, yet still sleeping with Wi Ho-yeon.
'... Objectively, yeah, I'm total trash.'
Biting her lip, she asked.
"... Was it good?"
"That's..."
My silence was as good as a yes.
With a frustrated look, she leaned in close.
"... How good? How good was it?"
'How good...?'
... Honestly, it was fucking amazing.
I knew it was a shitty thing to say, but nothing else fit.
Not waiting for my answer, she read it from my face and answered for me.
"... The sex was incredible, wasn't it?"
I nodded faintly at her words.
"Ha... So what's your deal with Ho-yeon? Are you dating?"
"... No, not that."
I could say that firmly. We weren't dating. Wi Ho-yeon didn't seem to want that either.
"Then what is it?"
"Just... physical. Like that."
"... What?"
It sounded ridiculous even to me.
But I couldn't call it a master-servant thing, so that was the only way to put it.
'Fuck...'
Seo Yu-ju looked stunned, like she'd never imagined such an answer.
"S-So... you just use each other's bodies... like that?"
"... Neither of us wanted a romantic relationship."
"Th-Then why did you do it?"
"... Ho-yeon came to me at night."
"What?"
"She felt guilty for not protecting me, said her body was all she had to offer..."
With an incredulous look, she pressed me.
"And you... accepted that?"
'No... how could I refuse?'
I could say with certainty: any straight guy with a pulse would've done the same.
It was an excuse, sure, but I'd tried to refuse at first.
... Her seduction was just on another level, rendering it pointless.
"So? How... how did you have sex?"
'Damn it, why ask that?'
Talking about sex with someone else felt gross even to me.
"Tell me quick! What exactly did you do?!"
Her sudden shout overwhelmed me.
My body shook, and like a coward, the words spilled out automatically.
"Uh, well... I treated Ho-yeon like a tool, not a woman..."
Her face flushed as her voice trembled.
"Wh-Wh-What... treating her like a tool...?"
Her mind was probably picturing me and Wi Ho-yeon in all sorts of positions.
"Wh-What did you do... force her like that?"
'What the hell? I'm not suicidal...'
"No, Ho-yeon egged me on..."
Somehow, I was pinning all the blame on her.
"Egged you on how...?"
"No, I can't say more..."
"Tell me."
'Fuck...'
"She said to handle her however, ignore her feelings, just focus on relieving my urges..."
Her face was burning up now.
"... Treating Ho-yeon like that... feel good?"
"....."
"Tell me!"
'Crazy...'
"... Yeah."
"H-How good? Like... mind-blowing?"
"......"
"... I won't judge. Just be honest."
'Ha... why make me say this?'
"... It's embarrassing, but yeah, it was so good I lost my mind. We were both crazy with lust."
She gasped sharply at my answer.
Right in front of me, anger, jealousy, envy—a mix of emotions played across her face.
"... How exactly?"
"Huh?"
"What does 'tool' mean...?"
'Ha...'
It was mortifying, but she wanted the truth.
... So I had to explain what happened with Wi Ho-yeon.
"Talking down to her, cursing..."
"Talking down? Cursing like 'fuck'?"
"... Yeah, stuff like that."
"Liar."
I flinched at her words.
"You're lying. Tell me details."
'Fuck...'
I never dreamed I'd be dirty-talking with Seo Yu-ju.
"... You fucking bitch."
"Huh?"
She flinched, thinking I'd cursed her, but quickly realized it was what I'd said to Wi Ho-yeon.
"Ah..."
'I don't even know anymore.'
I had no idea how we'd ended up here, but whatever.
"And...?"
"Need more...?"
"Obviously."
'Ha, fuck... what else did I say?'
"... Slutty bitch."
She swallowed hard at my curse.
It must've been a shock from her perspective.
Inexperienced as she was, the idea of me and Wi Ho-yeon like that stunned her.
"Cursing like that... pulling her hair, rubbing my foot on her down there to humiliate her..."
"Ah..."
Her breathing grew ragged.
"Used her face like tissue too..."
"T-Tissue?"
She looked baffled.
"... Yeah."
"What is it? Tell me!"
'Damn it...'
At this point, I wondered if she was trying to embarrass me to death.
"... Rubbing my dick on Ho-yeon's face. Treating her like literal toilet paper."
"D-Do you really... do that...?"
Suddenly, I thought it'd be better if she grew disgusted and hated me.
So I described it as crudely as possible to make her recoil.
'Fuck, whatever now.'
"Grabbing her hair, grinding my dick on her face. Not treating her like a woman... but a sex toy."
"S-Sex toy...?"
I was getting bolder now.
I still believed she shouldn't love me.
What I'd done to her was too much. This was the final crossroads.
"... Just venting stress and lust on Ho-yeon. She wanted it herself."
"She wanted...?"
"... Yeah, she opened her mouth wide, begging me to fuck her throat. Told me to ignore her pain, think only of my pleasure."
"D-Dick..."
"Even if Ho-yeon suffered, I'd grab her head with both hands and thrust. That's what she wanted."
She seemed shocked that Wi Ho-yeon acted that way, but more so that I'd treated a woman so roughly.
Hearing me talk so vulgarly was new for her.
I figured this would make her despise me—most women would freak out.
"There's more, but that's enough. Curiosity satisfied? I told you, I'm not a good guy. You're mistaken."
"Ah..."
"Could you handle that? Me treating you like a tool? So stop..."
"I-I'll do it."
"... What?"
I doubted my ears.
"M-Me too. Let me... Yun-seong, please?"
"Are you... insane?"
"Yeah... Please... I want to... have sex with you."
Her expression pleaded for me not to refuse.