Chapter 83
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 83
Chapter Title: The Woman I Don't Want to Run Into
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"Mm..."
The voice of Roman, tossing and turning in deep sleep.
Eclair slightly lowered the cape she had pulled up over her head.
"...Hah!"
How could he fall asleep so quickly after just a few minutes? It was absurd and ridiculous.
This man was so brazen. She wanted to grab his cheek, peacefully sleeping without a care in the world, and stretch it out.
The one who had spat out those words looked utterly at ease. But for the one who had heard and received them, a typhoon was raging in her mind.
She had plenty of experience hearing praises for his appearance, tales of his exploits, and his achievements, so she could respond without changing her expression.
But anything beyond that. Inside that tough shell.
Hearing someone else speak about her not as one of the Empire's Five Knights, but as the individual human named 'Eclair Dreitna'—that felt entirely different.
It was unlike the nobles who flattered her to gain something. The voice coming from someone with no reason to do so was purely innocent and sincere in its intent.
Roman singing praises of her as a human—not to her face, but to another—felt like hurling a stone into the calm waters of her heart.
'How far did he see through me...?'
And it didn't end there. To make matters worse, Eclair couldn't help but recall Lady Skadi.
—Can you avoid the wind that blows in or the sudden downpour, Knight?
—Even if special feelings develop for my brother, it's as natural as facing the wind. Don't worry or think it's strange, that's what I'm saying.
The conversation she'd had alone with the lady at the estate.
Her words had carried pure sincerity and inevitability, as if foreseeing the future. And Eclair had firmly replied that such a thing would never happen.
Eclair shook her head vigorously.
'No... I'm a knight. A body sworn to be a single sword... Even if I truly feel rational affection, fondness for Roman... nothing will change.'
She didn't know how to groom or adorn herself like noble ladies. She didn't even know what it meant to please a man.
The wardrobe in her estate held no dresses—only practical clothing and gear for mobility.
"..."
Just looking at the lady he was dating made it clear she was a different kind of woman.
Slender, elegant, and alluring.
A woman with a bewitching charm that conveyed her obedient affection even to outsiders when speaking of Roman.
Roman, the platinum adventurer, had abilities that transcended his background. And atop that, a delicate gentleness utterly unlike an imperial man.
He could have any woman he wanted just by wielding the title 'Platinum,' discarding the latter quality.
Yet herself? Someone without coquettish charm or the wiles to act cute for a man?
Her, who had rejected bridal training in Dreitna, now dreaming such sweet fantasies?
She felt ashamed for daring to hope just because the lady had told her to come.
It was an ugly greed.
Wishing for special emotions in the way Roman looked at her.
This was... an illusion that captivated people. Like a mirage in the desert.
*Grip*—
Her hand tightened on the cape.
'Just friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends...'
She squeezed her eyes shut and repeated it dozens of times in her mind to quell the typhoon.
Don't define the shape of these sudden emotions completely. Believe it's friendship with a friend and force it into that frame.
Then, there would be chances to drink with him like this. Times for such private chit-chat would surely come.
Nothing in the world is eternal.
Surely... if she endured and held back, someday this feeling would dull, and she could laugh it off.
"Eclair. You okay? If your stomach's bothering you, should I tell the carriage to stop?"
He had woken up at some point and was looking at her with worried eyes. She could vividly feel her heart pounding, one she hadn't been conscious of.
"N-No. I'm fine. I was just thinking about some work..."
"You aren't working yourself too hard, are you? Even back in the capital, you won't head straight home?"
She swallowed once. The conversation itself was no problem.
It was just... hard to meet his eyes, so her gaze naturally dropped to the carriage floor.
"...I plan to head back after just reporting in, so it's fine."
"Good to hear. Yawn—I've wrapped up one job, so now I can take it easy with Rike. The academy's still a ways off."
He was an adventurer and an academy instructor to boot. A one-of-a-kind career no one else had.
What if she and Roman had attended the academy together?
Or some coincidence had made them squadmates in the same knight order, or fellow adventurers in a party...?
'I'd go mad...'
There was no way to explain it other than she'd truly lose her mind.
Embarrassing hypotheticals and impossible delusions filled her head. The problem was they stirred all sorts of emotions with mere imagination.
—
*Neigh-!*
Unlike the warhorse that had pulled the carriage on the way there, this one had remarkable stamina and speed.
The time was cut short, and they arrived at the territory by late morning under a blazing sun.
After that, everything proceeded smoothly.
From the territory where the hunting festival had taken place to the capital—it was over in a flash.
Exactly one week, neither late nor early, and they were back in the capital.
No matter their superior prowess, without the intelligence network's aid, such speed would have been impossible.
"Urghhh—!! It's over!"
Roman stepped out of the gate first, stretching grandly.
"I'll change into my uniform and go report in, so head back first."
"Tough break. Huh?"
They sensed a familiar presence and turned their heads simultaneously.
—
Purple eyes watching this place. Bobbed hair swaying lightly.
Wearing a flowing long skirt and a thin knit, she boldly displayed the scar on her face.
'...!!'
She was the one Eclair most wanted to avoid right now.
"Oppa~!"
Kicking off the stone pavement in her low-heeled shoes, she ran straight at him and threw herself into Roman's arms.
"How'd you know to come?!"
"Exactly one week. I came out for a walk and waited."
The lady in his arms looked happier than anyone in the world.
But Roman's face as he held her was the kind even she, a 'friend,' could never see in her lifetime.
This rising emotion—was it envy, jealousy, or longing...? She wanted to close her eyes and flee right here.
"Rike. Aren't you going to greet her? We even got an invitation."
The lady in Roman's arms turned her eyes to Eclair, a piercing glint flashing. Then, unbelievably, her eyes widened round.
"Oh my god...!"
Something she shouldn't have seen was seen. A gut feeling of being seen through. Eclair unwittingly stepped back from her gaze.
"Y-You two go ahead. I need to prepare for my duty report..."
*Clack-!*
Roman called out from afar that she'd worked hard, but she had no time or energy to reply.
The gate and management office were imperial territory in the end.
Passing familiar officials, Eclair entered the changing room and thunk! thunk! banged her head against the wall.
"Hoo— Hoo..."
Captain of the Imperial Shadow Knight Order and one of the Empire's Five Knights.
She loathed herself for acting like a girl unable to control her emotions.
—
One minute... two minutes...
She steadied her breathing.
Slipping into the Empire's black uniform that hugged her body perfectly seemed to calm her down.
Apologizing to the startled officials for the rudeness, she left the building.
'...Goddess.'
Despite considerable time passing, sensing that one presence made Eclair squeeze her eyes shut.
"I've been waiting ages. Even I'm having a hard time holding back right now..."
"...Were you waiting for me?"
"I told Oppa I was going to chat with his sister. He seemed happy that you two were getting close. Isn't he just the cutest?"
*Just drag him away already!* Eclair inwardly cursed Roman.
"..."
"Shall we move somewhere quieter?"
The place she led her to wasn't far.
The back of the gate management building. Unlike the always-crowded entrance, there wasn't even a trace of people.
"What do you think?"
"...What do I think? What kind of question is that?"
The lady perched lightly on the brick edge of the flower bed, smiling at her with gentle understanding.
"Why ask when you know? What do you think of my brother?"
"..."
"I expected some fondness, but you should've seen how shocked I was when I saw."
Her purple eyes gleamed sharply.
Eclair pulled herself together and met her gaze squarely, no longer shrinking.
"What did you see that shocked you?"
She laughed as if it was unbelievable, but didn't avert her eyes.
"You really going to play dumb? You needed to see your own face looking at Oppa just now."
Biting her lip wouldn't end this moment. No decision would change the outcome.
"Fine... You were right, my lady. It felt like a natural phenomenon. I couldn't avoid it..."
Admitting what she'd been forcibly suppressing as mere friendship since the carriage—it was refreshingly liberating, yet her face burned hot.
"I'm not here to quibble over whose words were right... But isn't it amazing? The things Oppa does without realizing. If he hadn't adventured solo, I can't even imagine how many women he'd have now. Even working alone, it's hard to believe he was single when we met."
Eclair nodded unconsciously at the empathetic words.
"So delicate, so kindly it's almost scary... He doesn't feel like an imperial man."
"Right?! I'm thrilled to finally have someone to talk about this with."
Joy radiated from her at someone recognizing how wonderful her man was.
And that made it hurt even more.
She had already made her own resolve.
Rather than a hopeless challenge that might sever their bond. She wanted to cling to the tough connection of friends who could meet anytime without it being strange.
"But... before being a woman, I—"
"Ah! Hold on a sec."
Cutting off her hard-spoken words, the lady stood from the flower bed, dusted off her skirt, and approached step by step.
"...?"
"Put that on hold for now... and hear me out."