Chapter 82
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 82
Chapter Title: The Way Back -2-
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Eclair Dreitna had no concept of being protected in battle or relying on others.
She had always led from the front, shouldered responsibility for her squad members, and borne the consequences of every action.
To such a female knight, wounds were as inseparable as water and fish—an intimate, interdependent bond.
"A little bit. I just didn't want to see my friend get hurt."
In an unexpected moment, unraveling unprepared in a place that felt so natural and familiar.
Hearing those words sent a dizzying whirl through her vision, and without meaning to, her voice rose sharply.
"I, I am a knight! I do not fear injury!"
"I know... You acted alone on your own judgment without consulting anyone. Of course it would upset you. Sorry."
Seeing Roman apologize, stripped of all his usual featherlight playfulness, she realized her tone had been overly harsh without intending it.
Consideration didn't feel bad. But what if something happened? There was no need for him to sacrifice himself.
She had the words and thoughts ready, yet they clung to her lips like they'd been glued shut, refusing to form properly.
"Ow...! Th-that-!"
"It's not that I doubt your skills or belittle the resolve and convictions you hold as a knight. It's just... my rotten stubbornness."
"..."
As she clamped her mouth shut, Roman gave a troubled smile, chuckling awkwardly.
He had dodged Cutler's flashy swordsmanship with leisurely ease and amusement. Yet her silence left him visibly flustered.
Not some enemy shattering the mansion in a single blow, but the thought that this emotion stemmed from her made her hands tremble.
Was this the thrill of finally landing one on the friend who always teased her?
Something she harbored yet couldn't judge herself—an unknown entity. She clenched her shaking hands into tight fists.
Seeing her knuckles whiten as her grip tightened, Roman made no effort to hide his unease.
"Eclair. Don't get so mad... Swords are off-limits, but I can take a few punches. Just spare my face."
"Th-that's... not what I was going to do. Hoo—."
She let out a deep breath she'd been holding and hunched forward. Spreading her now-steady hands, she cupped her face.
She couldn't even predict what her expression looked like right now. She didn't want anyone to see it.
'I'm... just not used to receiving comfort from others... that's all...'
Gazing at the carriage's iron floor, where a faint chill rose, her stalled mind began to turn again, bit by bit.
Peering at Roman blankly through her fingers, a childish surge of irritation bubbled up.
"Even in the middle of battle... your barbs were sharper than usual. What if I'd actually swung? Talking so lightly will bite you someday..."
Hearing her advice, he flashed his usual grin, embarrassment finally gone.
"Hahaha!! If you say you're hitting me, I take it—what else is there?"
"...Frivolous. Lucky only I heard. Roman—even for psychological warfare, don't say a Platinum from the Adventurer's Guild respects an imperial knight."
That line had certainly rattled Cutler's composure. But afterward, it left a bad aftertaste no matter how you sliced it.
Guild adventurers and imperial knights stood as public opposites, rivals like water and oil in the eyes of the masses.
A Platinum at the pinnacle of the Adventurer's Guild claiming respect for the Empire's Five Knights—even as a joke—bred nothing but confusion.
"Psychological warfare? Don't know about anything else, but that wasn't for showboating."
Not one to miss the point of advice, yet Roman shook his head, refusing to concede.
"That kind of talk... will just confuse a lot of people."
"I know. I don't say it to just anyone."
Rattle-!
The carriage jolted over a gnarled root, shaking once. Conversation halted with it.
As the rocking faded, Roman spoke up.
"On the way to the grand mansion, you swung by the branch office, smashed Cutlers... and between that, saw the atrocities and charged in first out of rage, right?"
"Yeah. I remember."
"I said that didn't strike me as any great act of goodwill."
"Correct."
No way she'd forget their exchange from moments ago.
"Eclair... on the way to the grand mansion, you saw the other races locked in iron cages and the kidnapped women, and got pissed, right?"
"...Natural for any knight."
"The ones pulling that off were knights too."
"...."
She knew calling them fallen ex-knights was just a lame excuse.
She knew villains rivaling Cutlers clung to the knight title, leeching off the empire.
"Back in the day, I'd blow up at scenes like that and take it out on the perps. Now? First thought is 'figures.'"
"I see that as composure, maturity. Like Cutler said, I'm not quite ripe... Guess that's it."
Roman's brow furrowed, displeased with her words.
"Haa— I don't like dropping sappy lines when I'm sober..."
She couldn't guess what he'd say next as he pouted and scratched his cheek.
His words felt like the cusp of some massive shift—dread mingled with anticipation.
"Something off in what I said? Critique away if you want..."
"Not a critique. But... even if it feels like overreach, I've got no comeback. Even if you snap 'What does this idiot know?', I could take it grinning."
"...What words have you baiting like this, building tension?"
His silence stretched, contemplation heavy.
"Knight Eclair Dreitna... my friend Kitty. Even if I clown around, it's no lie—I respect you. Seeing you reminds me of a lotus."
Unexpected that he clocked her as clowning.
'Lotus?'
—Idiot... Lotuses grow in filthy mud. No one seeks out muck to raise one.
His battle quip had stuck deep. It resurfaced instantly.
No lovey-dovey flattery. Not about looks.
No noble lads had linked her beauty to lotuses before. Pure curiosity piqued.
"Why... a lotus?"
People often tossed associations her way. Empire's treasured sword, famed blade—cold, honed to perfection.
Humans who seemed sharp enough to slice fingers on sight, awe or fear in equal measure.
First time transcending arms to something soft and warm like 'lotus'.
"Not the flower's beauty, but the lotus's traits... No!! Not saying you're lacking in looks or anything?!"
His occasional silver tongue tripped even on passable spots. Felt pure Roman.
"Heh—I get it, no such angle. Out with it."
"Back when I started adventuring... broke as hell, dug into hemostatic plants for scraps of knowledge. Dictionary called lotus 'the flower blooming from mud.'"
"..."
Not fishing for a reply, he unspooled his thread like long-buried yarn.
"Purifies muddy water just by existing—untouched by the filth. Lotus leaves repel water, practical stuff... zero romance."
He halted mid-breath on the next bit.
"Ah—!!! Telling you this to your face is nuts...! Started, gotta finish though..."
Scrubbing his scalp raw, Roman flicked his gaze from her eyes to the window. Face faintly flushed, like tipsy.
"...I'm already stained. Lost all conscience living my life. No spare feelings for total strangers. But you're different, friend."
A faint warning prickled.
Shut your ears. Block it here.
"At the empire's heart, unstained like the other nobles. Raging, acting for some connectionless nobody. A self I could never be. Lets me say I respect you, no bullshit."
One step more, words pierce the heart—irretrievable.
"...."
"Ha! Another dumb joke, right? My rap sheet sells it... Karma's a bitch. Been wanting to tell my self-flagellating pal someday."
Relief washed his face, refreshed.
"Eclair. You've got this lotus-purifying... goodwill, benevolent vibe. Without meeting you, knights wouldn't shine so bright in my eyes."
"R-really?"
A sensation never felt before.
Not like the gut-wrench as a kid seeing Chloe cry.
But gauging this new heart-thing as a wound—light or heavy? Heavy.
"Yeah. Polar opposite of me tanking the guild's rep with my bullshit. Malign influence extraordinaire!"
Watching him snicker sparked glitches across her body.
Face burning, she yanked her draped cape up.
"Enough. I'm beat..."
"Fair. Zero shut-eye in Limno. Catch some Z's?"
She hunkered behind the thick cape, wide awake till the carriage halted.
He drifted off soon after, breaths steady, eyes shut.