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# Chapter 2 – Camera Sickness (2)
Tap tap tap.
Countless horses could be seen in the distance.
And on top of those horses were countless enemy soldiers.
As the enemies approached rapidly, the sandstorm kicked up by their movement blurred my vision.
“Protect His Highness! Your Highness, you must retreat at once!”
The enemy soldiers who had approached in an instant began colliding with our soldiers.
Clang.
Clang.
Both enemies and allies began falling one after another, blood splattering everywhere, as they gradually made their way
closer to the Crown Prince I was protecting.
“Your Highness! You must leave this place. Hurry! Leave this place to us and….”
The Crown Prince shouted at me with a firm expression despite the murderous look in my eyes.
“You must come with me as well.”
“But, Your Highness…!”
Someone had to stay by his side.
Protecting this country and protecting the Crown Prince were both my duty and my responsibility.
I had to fight with my life on the line and protect His Highness by whatever means necessary.
Something hot was boiling deep within my chest.
I had offered my life for the sake of my country.
I had to protect everything.
The screams and shouts around me gradually began to fade from my ears.
Then, when I came to my senses, every sound suddenly became crystal clear.
“Argh!”
I drew my long sword and cut down the enemy soldier who had approached His Highness in a single stroke.
I continued swinging my sword as I shouted.
“You must move! Hurry!”
At that moment, my vision suddenly began to blur.
Flash.
My eyes suddenly flew open.
And in front of me was the ceiling of my room and the familiar pure white wallpaper.
What?
Was it a dream?
“Haa, haa.”
I repeatedly blinked my eyes while breathing heavily.
Then I felt something damp.
I wiped the sweat running down both my cheeks.
My entire body was drenched in sweat, and because of that, even my pillow and blanket were soaked.
Still lying down, I squeezed my eyes shut.
Memories suddenly surfaced in my mind.
That moment when every tiny cell in my body had been tense.
The hot beads of sweat running down my back.
The dark-red droplets of blood that had splattered across my face.
And the tears I had shed while watching the enemy soldiers take the lives of my comrades and fellow soldiers right
before my eyes.
Every memory was so vivid that goosebumps covered my entire body, making it impossible for me to calm down.
Every single scene from that time, along with all those memories and sensations.
The life of the soldier I had seen in my dream.
Ten years of that soldier's life flashed through my mind like a panorama.
It wasn't merely the brief memory of protecting the Crown Prince that I had witnessed in my dream.
It was the memories of an entire ten years.
A life as a soldier.
Every memory from those long years came flooding back to me, the happy moments, the sad moments, and every other memory
that was impossible to put into words.
The entirety of those ten years had been etched perfectly into my mind.
Even the dream I had just experienced was indescribably vivid.
What was this?
Could a dream really be this vivid?
It felt as though the sensation of having just swung a sword still lingered in my hands.
Moreover, why could I vividly remember even scenes that I hadn't seen in the dream?
I'd never had a dream like this before….
What on earth had I dreamed about?
I vigorously shook my head and looked once again at the pure white ceiling.
And another bead of sweat rolled down my body.
My heart began pounding like crazy.
I slowly turned my head and looked at the clock hanging on the wall.
Damn it…!
I was late!
I quickly jumped out of bed and hurriedly put on the hoodie and jeans hanging over the back of the chair.
---
Beep.
“That’ll be 3,800 won. Do you need a bag?”
“Yes, please.”
I pulled out a bag bearing the convenience store logo and put the items inside.
“Here’s my card. Thank you.”
“Yes. Have a good day.”
After the customer left, I was alone in the convenience store.
I made sure there was absolutely no one around before poking my head out and looking around.
Sometimes, thinking no one was there, I would start singing along with whatever song was playing.
Once, when I was completely absorbed in a song, a customer suddenly rose from the snack aisle and awkwardly clapped
before walking out.
Ever since then, I always checked carefully.
It was embarrassing for both sides when we happened to run into each other.
After confirming that no one was around, I cleared my throat loudly.
“Ahem!”
Then, instantly putting strength into my eyebrows, I opened my mouth.
“The enemies targeting the princess are… Ah, ah, ah, eh, ee, oh, oo.”
I loosened up my mouth once more before shouting in a majestic voice.
“The enemies targeting the princess are increasing.”
When I practiced, the other person's lines were my lines too.
“Are you certain?”
Playing both roles, I changed my expression in an instant.
“Yes. We don't know how much longer this place will remain safe either. You must move to another residence at once.”
What was this?
Was I immersing myself a little better than usual today?
The convenience store had always been my main practice room.
There was no way a tiny five-pyeong studio apartment could possibly have good soundproofing.
Once, while I was practicing my lines, someone had even shouted through the wall, “Keep it down! Some of us are trying
to sleep, you bastard!”
With a single wall between us, it was no different from a cramped gosiwon.
After that, I could only quietly mutter my lines at home. I couldn't immerse myself and practice them loudly.
Of course, it wasn't as though I had ever had enough roles to practice lines all day long.
So, at some point, the convenience store became both my source of income and my practice room.
That didn't mean I had ever neglected my convenience store job.
I practiced my lines while restocking empty shelves, practiced my facial expressions by looking at my reflection faintly
visible in the beverage display, and even practiced my movements while walking around to clean.
Once I began thinking of this place as my practice room, I had to immerse myself and practice quickly whenever there was
a brief moment without customers.
As a result, I had become fairly skilled at training myself to immerse quickly.
But for some reason, I felt particularly immersed today.
The princess and the royal guard.
Even though I was playing both roles by myself, it was only natural that I could immerse myself more easily in the male
role of the royal guard.
But it wasn't simply because the role was male that I felt myself sinking so deeply into the character.
I couldn't possibly just sit still on a day like this.
I jumped to my feet and grabbed the mop that had been propped up against a pillar beside the beverage display.
“I will, without fail…! We will!”
After reciting the next line, I treated the mop in my hand like a sword and began thrusting it into the air.
What I was holding was nothing more than a blue plastic mop, but in my imagination, it felt like a massive, heavy
longsword.
“Let's do it again!”
I corrected my stance where I stood and quickly immersed myself.
“The enemies targeting the princess are increasing…. I will, without fail…! We will!”
Four short lines.
Whenever a camera started rolling, I would strangely choke on my lines, so I had to practice these four short lines over
and over until they came out automatically if someone so much as tapped me.
I raised and lowered my shoulders, regulated my breathing, and opened my mouth again.
“The enemies targeting the princess are….”
During several rounds of practice, my immersion never broke even once.
No, rather, the more I practiced, the deeper I sank into the role.
Something really was strange today.
“I will, without fail. We will.”
I thrust the plastic mop forward.
“Huh?”
“Gasp! I'm sorry!”
“Pfft, it's okay.”
Damn it.
I had been so immersed that I hadn't even heard the bell at the entrance when the customer came in.
The customer, startled by the sword I had swung, or rather, the mop, let out a small laugh at my apology.
Without realizing it, my face turned bright red.
I wanted nothing more than to find a hole in the ground and hide in it from embarrassment.
---
Countless people sat waiting.
They were the people participating in today's audition.
Some had come to audition for the same role as me, while others were there for different roles, so the line seemed
endless.
And as usual, the waiting line was anything but quiet.
“You truly wish to die, you bastard?”
“Please spare me. If you would only spare my life, I will do whatever it takes to….”
“Argh!”
Every single person was practicing the lines of the role they were auditioning for, filling the waiting area with a
chaotic atmosphere.
I quickly shook my head and immersed myself in practicing my own role.
“The enemies targeting the princess are….”
Just like when I had practiced at the convenience store, the lines flowed smoothly from my mouth today as well.
“Wow, you're really good.”
“Huh?”
A man approached me and spoke with his mouth slightly open in amazement.
His neatly slicked-back hair revealed his broad forehead.
And beneath that forehead were thick eyebrows.
His strong facial features immediately caught my attention.
“Your acting! I mean, you're really good. Don't you think you'll pass today's audition?”
“Ah…. Thank you.”
“I hope we both pass and get to see each other on set. Haha.”
He admired me for a moment before returning to his seat.
It seemed he had come to audition today as well.
The moment he sat down, he began reciting the lines for the role he had prepared.
These four lines.
I knew it too.
Beyond merely knowing them perfectly, I knew that I was better at immersing myself in a role and acting than anyone
else.
I had always done well in auditions.
Well enough to pass most of them.
But there was a reason I was still stuck playing minor roles rather than even supporting roles.
It was because of the camera.
The so-called “camera sickness,” where my heart pounded and my mind went completely blank whenever I saw a camera.
It might sound ridiculous for an actor to have camera sickness, but that was exactly how I was.
For auditions for minor roles like mine, unless it was for a major supporting or leading role, they often conducted them
casually without a camera.
Thanks to that, I usually received favorable evaluations and was told that I had passed and should come to the set.
But the moment I saw a camera on set, I couldn't even deliver a few lines properly.
No, sometimes I couldn't even manage a single line.
I had often been told that the only way to overcome camera sickness was to get used to it. But no matter how many times
I looked at cameras, neither the cameras nor the filming environment ever became familiar to me.
But what else could I do?
I had no choice but to keep trying.
“Haa.”
I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and exhaled as I tried to calm myself.
But every time I repeated my lines, I felt something boiling deep within my chest.
That incredibly vivid dream from a few days ago.
Every single scene had been so vivid that the emotions were still churning inside me.
I quietly closed my eyes, pictured the scenes in my mind, and recited the lines one more time.
And then I became certain.
The moment the conviction that today's audition would somehow go much better than my previous ones enveloped my entire
body, my heart began pounding.
Yeah, I had a good feeling about this time!
“Number 37! Number 37, please come in.”
At the voice calling out the number, the noisy waiting room fell silent as though everyone had suddenly held their
breath.
Everyone began looking around, seemingly searching for number 37.
“Yes! I'm coming.”
I fiddled with the piece of paper bearing the number “37” pinned to my chest before getting to my feet.
With both hands clenched tightly into fists, I followed the staff member and strode toward the audition room.
“You can go in here.”
“Yes, thank you.”
The staff member opened the door and showed me inside. I calmly took a deep breath before stepping in.
Today was different from usual.
Pushing aside the nervousness and excitement in one corner of my mind, I stopped at the mark on the floor with a
confident expression.
Before greeting them, I quickly scanned the room in front of me with my eyes.
“Huh? What's that?”
For a moment, my breathing stopped and my body froze.
My gaze became fixed on one spot.
That thing with the red light blinking.
It was a camera!
“I thought they said there wouldn't be a camera test today….”
The moment I saw the camera, my heart began pounding again.
I had made so many resolutions before coming in here, but it felt like my sickness was returning.
What… am I supposed to do?