Excuses

Suneung was only twenty days away, and Gyeo-ul had gotten surprisingly well-behaved. She stopped clinging to me, sneaking into my room at night, or covering her eyes to flip my switch. Even when she poked or teased me occasionally, her reactions were half-hearted. ...Kinda disappointing.

"Oppa?"

"Yeah? What's up, Gyeo-ul."

"...W-why are you staring like that?"

"Who do you think is to blame?"

I gave her a pointed look before we headed out, and she snapped at me. ...Was my gaze that obvious? I wasn't even looking at her thighs like usual.

"...Is it my fault?"

"...You seriously didn't know until now?"

"I-I didn't think it was that bad..."

Her cheeks flushed a little as I buckled her seatbelt and pulled the car out. ...This isn't my fault. I might own shares, but I'm not the majority shareholder. Absolutely not.

"...Oppa."

"Yeah."

"Don't you think you've gotten a bit shameless lately?"

"...Why do you say that?"

"You used to have this delicate side, but it's gone."

"I've always been like this. I just treated you differently because you were my little sister."

"...And now?"

"If you act like a little sister, maybe I'll treat you like one."

"...So you don't see me as your sister anymore?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be doing this."

Her profile, twisted in complicated emotions, still didn't look like a little sister's to me.

"Gyeo-ul."

"Yeah?"

"About tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Wanna go on a date?"

"...Huh?"

...Seriously. What the hell am I doing? If the me from two months ago saw this, he'd curse me out as a crazy bastard. Nah, even now, I know I'm a crazy bastard. It's not that my values or morals collapsed—I'm just pretending not to know. Thinking about it won't change anything.

"...Isn't that too direct?"

"Beating around the bush would just lead to the same thing."

"..."

"So, what'll it be?"

"...Where are we going?"

"We can decide together, nice and slow."

"...Okay."

"...Where to?"

"Home."

"...What?"

"It's getting chilly. Let's just date at home."

"..."

"Catching a cold would be risky... And Mom's going to Aunt's on Friday and staying over..."

I thought she'd mellowed out lately, but nope. Sure, mid-November was cold, and getting sick would suck, but... Did she have to add that last bit?

"What are we gonna do?"

"You know, just... watch a movie?"

"Like last time?"

"Yeah."

"That all?"

"...Yeah. Don't wanna waste too much time."

"Just checking."

"Ah, no... we're not doing that. Suneung's so close..."

"I hadn't even asked yet."

"...Wasn't that what you were gonna ask?"

"...Can't deny it."

It ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had been a while since she punched my arm. No, really, I wasn't planning to. Sure, things were backed up, but I had self-control. ...As long as you don't poke.

It wasn't even 6 p.m., but the sun had set long ago thanks to the season. The crisp winter air made the living room chilly after I'd opened the window for some ventilation. I closed it, grabbed coffees in both hands, and headed back to my room.

"...We have to watch it in my room?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Feels more like a date that way?"

"...What does that even mean?"

Gyeo-ul lounged on my bed like it was hers. I set the coffees by the headboard, and she picked one up, blowing on it before sipping. I propped a cushion against her side, half-reclined on the bed, and mounted the tablet on its stand. ...Whew. Still manageable for now.

"Oppa, I can't see well."

"Can't help it with the tablet."

"Can't we watch lying on our stomachs like last time?"

"...My shoulder nearly shattered that time."

"Then sit like this."

She set her mug down and wriggled under my arm, finally settling snugly in my lap. ...What am I supposed to do with you?

"...Gyeo-ul."

"..."

No answer, so ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I buried my nose in her hair. Still nothing.

"Gyeo-ul?"

"..."

I wrapped an arm around her waist. No response.

"Gyeo-ul."

"...Oppa."

Only when my hand reached her chest did she finally reply. What the hell is this? Seriously.

I moved my arm back to her waist.

"So, what are we watching?"

"Anything."

"Pick a genre at least."

"No horror. Anything else."

"That just sounds like you want horror."

"...Then romance."

"You wanna watch romance as siblings?"

"...You gonna say something about that?"

Couldn't argue, so I quietly scrolled through movies. Hmm... we'd seen most of these, or knew the plots anyway. I swiped on the tablet hanging from the stand, but nothing jumped out.

...What now?

"Oh, this looks fun."

"...It's an animation."

"You know that super famous one where the leads swap bodies? This is the prequel."

"Oh, that one?"

I'd heard of it. But after spoilers, I lost interest.

"It's kinda short, though."

"Better than something long and boring."

"...True."

Ratings were decent, so I hit play. We turned the volume low, sipped coffee now and then, and focused on the story. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Yeah, the visuals were solid. Rainy settings gave it a nice vibe, and the plot wasn't bad.

Why's she looking so dissatisfied, though?

"...Not fun?"

"No, it's not that... just."

"What'd you think?"

"Why's she agonizing so much over teacher-student? It's not that big a deal."

...Teacher and student is plenty to agonize over. Social stigma, age gap, all that.

"...They can't just date openly."

"...It's not impossible."

"Well... yeah, but."

"..."

She clamped her mouth shut. ...Oh. That's what she meant. Was I the only one seeing it as just a movie? Honestly, if we're talking realism, we're the bigger fantasy.

"What'd you think, oppa?"

"Only remember the heroine's feet."

"...That's too much."

"They shoved it in your face. Not my thing, though."

Topic was getting heavy; better lighten it with a joke. No ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠right answers here anyway. Definitely wrong ones, though.

"...Ugh, whatever. Shouldn't have watched."

"Refresh failed?"

"Not really... just not in the mood for more."

"So, what now?"

"...Mm, lemme think."

She pouted and slipped out of my arms, using my arm as a pillow. My arm would go numb, so I laid it on a pillow and lay facing her. Staring like that, it felt just like that day. ...This mood's dangerous.

The awkward air was broken by my phone vibrating. It was Mom.

She seemed about to say more, but I hung up. Honestly, freaked me out a bit. If she'd said she was nearby, it could've been trouble. She acts without a sense of danger. But how do you fix no sense of reality? Sometimes I wonder if this is the nightmare. Re-enlistment, going broke overnight... getting caught.

"...Mom?"

"Yeah."

"She's staying over?"

"Yeah."

"...Oppa."

"What."

"...I'm sleepy. Can I just crash like this?"

She nuzzled my chest and mumbled softly. ...Haa. Hold back. I know best that once I hit the gas, I can't stop.

I turned off the bedside lamp.

"...Yeah, go ahead."

"Mmkay... thanks..."

"Night."

She hugged me tight and started breathing steadily. New form of torture? Thinking led nowhere good, so with arms around her, I fiddled with my phone over her head. After ten minutes of her breathing and heartbeat up close, my eyes grew heavy. Dark room helped. Better sleep together. Sleep chases weird thoughts. We pulled the blanket up to our armpits, using her as a giant hand warmer, and I drifted off.

...Noisy.

The bell woke me. Must've left it on vibrate. Phone lit up—Mom again. Felt like I'd barely slept.

I pulled the phone away, confused—then the door opened, and our eyes met.

"Ah, Ga-eul! Hi! Is Gyeo-ul...?"

"..."

Ah, now it's time to wake up from the dream.