A Drunkard's Irreversible Contract
It seemed writing on paper at the bench was too much of a hassle, so Namgung Siwu moved to a park shelter that had a desk. The devil, worried the uneven surface would make the ballpoint pen skip, lent him a plastic writing pad. It was a surprisingly thoughtful gesture.
“The personal information section looks fine as is.”
“Do I really not need to write down my military service?”
“Pardon?”
The devil showed her first flicker of genuine surprise when Siwu suddenly threw out such a random question.
“...I already know you completed your military service. There’s no need to write it.”
“But I want to…”
Siwu stubbornly insisted on the strangest thing.
“...Then you may write it in one of the empty spaces.”
“Hehe.”
This wasn’t even a resume—it was a contract to restructure the entire world—yet Siwu carefully squeezed “Army Sergeant, Honorable Discharge” into the corner margin. The fact that he didn’t even question how the devil knew about his service was just another detail. Maybe it was the typical behavior of freshly discharged Korean men, or maybe the alcohol still flooding his system was to blame.
“Now we come to the most important section. Please write, in as much detail as possible, exactly how you would like the world you currently live in to change.”
“Hmm……”
He set the pen down and sank into deep thought for roughly three minutes. Then, slowly, he began writing his wishes onto the contract paper.
A world where simply being born male allows one to live comfortably without doing anything.
A world where I possess extremely handsome features.
A world where the Republic of Korea has been destroyed.
A world where superpowers exist.
I wish my mother were still alive.
Yoo Juhyeon’s memories are retained.
“That… aside from the world itself, can you change things about me too?”
“Yes! Of course. You belong to this world as well, Siwu-nim.”
“Oh! Jackpot!!”
He immediately added another line. “In the next world, I’m a fucking alpha male. Done deal!”
Whatever he found so hilarious, he kept giggling as he wrote.
“………”
The devil had been holding back a smirk, but after watching him she let out a tiny, almost inaudible chuckle. If Siwu had been sober, he would have realized it wasn’t a laugh of shared amusement—it was a meaningful, mocking little sound. But with so much alcohol still in his veins, he never noticed.
If anything, the intoxication seemed to hit him even harder. His excitement had raised his tension, and when people get worked up their blood circulates faster, carrying alcohol through the body more quickly.
“Oh, and this shitty country needs to go down the drain.”
He burst into wild laughter, as if what he had written was the funniest thing in the world. After the bar incident he had angrily drunk well past his usual limit, so it was only natural. The fact that he had still managed to rationally stop the devil from committing mass murder earlier was actually quite impressive.
“Ah! And one more important thing!!”
Another fun idea seemed to strike him. Grinning brightly, he scribbled yet another sentence.
“This one’s pretty much mandatory~ We’re rewriting the whole world anyway.”
It was the first wish that had nothing to do with his personal grievances. At this point he seemed to be writing whatever came to mind, but as he put down the words, the giggling face that had been laughing until now suddenly went still. His expression gradually shifted into something sad and wistful.
“This time I’ll definitely be a good son……”
Anyone else reading it would have felt their heart ache at such a tender wish. He was so drunk now that his pronunciation had grown slurred, and the sentences no longer ended with “world”—he simply wrote plain statements. Tears gathered along his lower lashes as thoughts of his mother surfaced.
“All right… that should be it……”
Having overdone it today, Siwu finally reached his limit. His eyelids drooped lower and lower.
“From the exact moment the contract is approved, the wishes can never be revised. We will also never meet again. Are you certain this is acceptable?”
“Ah! Wait! Stop!!!!”
“Yes?”
“If the world changes… then other people’s memories… all of them… will also……”
“Yes. The memories of every person except you, Siwu-nim, will be rewritten so that they remember the world as having always been that way.”
His words were badly slurred and barely intelligible, yet she immediately understood the intent behind the question and gave him the answer he wanted. She was slightly impressed that he could ask something so sharp even while drunk. In truth, Siwu hadn’t asked because he cared about his own memories remaining intact—he had one final request.
“Is it okay… if one other person… keeps theirs?”
“...Yes. Preserving the memory of one additional person is acceptable.”
The devil’s curiosity about his true goal grew stronger. Yet the request itself was not particularly grand.
“Perfect!!! Yoo Juhyeon, you fucking bitch……”
He dragged the paper back from her hands and added one more line to the wishes column in crooked, barely legible handwriting.
Impressive that he could still write at all in that state.
Now he was behaving like a completely smashed drunkard.
“For real!! Done!!”
Shouting that it was finished, he shoved the paper back toward the devil.
“Ahem. Allow me to repeat myself. From the moment the contract is approved, the wishes can never be revised, and we will never meet ag—”
“Okay!!! I’m fine thank you, and you?”
Siwu started spewing bizarre, half-remembered English phrases. Then he staggered to his feet and stumbled toward the devil.
“Contract approved as of this moment. Thank you for your hard work. The world will begin restructuring at 06:00 tomorrow, so please keep that in mind—”
“Um… by the way……”
“Yes?”
“Can I… touch your boobs after all?”
When she had invited him earlier he had held back, but the alcohol had finally given him courage. The devil, however, remained unflustered.
“Yes, you may touch them as much as you like.”
Whether she was in a good mood from successfully closing her first contract or simply wanted to finish the job quickly, only she knew. She spread her arms wide, presenting her chest.
“First pair of tits in my life!!!”
It really was the first time he had ever touched a woman’s breasts since reaching adulthood. But instead of groping with both hands, Siwu wrapped his arms around her in a hug and buried his face between the soft mounds.
“Mom……”
“I miss you so much today……”
He closed his eyes, suddenly calling for his mother. Any other woman might have shown clear displeasure, but the devil Makina gently stroked his hair with the tenderness of a real mother caressing her son. Yet in contrast to that gentle touch, her mouth split into an eerily wide, grotesque smile—wide enough that if Siwu had seen it, he probably would have wet himself.
Her hand continued to brush through his hair with soft, rhythmic strokes.
“Just as Senior said. Luring in drunk people really is the best method.”
Returning to her usual gentle smile, Makina pulled a phone from her inner pocket and dialed a number. After several rings, someone picked up.
“Makina, you done? First contract go smoothly?”
“Yes, Senior! Thanks to your advice, the storytelling went perfectly.”
“Ooooooh, for real? You’re buying me dinner later~”
“Of course~”
“Adjust the direction so he gets tormented while being pushed around by women. That should paint a pretty good picture.”
“Hey, and give the protagonist some decent ability or benefit. Just one.”
“Huh?”
“Shouldn’t the protagonist be as incompetent as possible so he gets manipulated more easily?”
“Obviously you can’t give him some ridiculously overpowered ability. Make it something that’s insanely beneficial to whoever obtains him, but completely fucking useless to the guy himself. You also need a few hopeful elements so he doesn’t just kill himself. Making the environment brutally harsh isn’t enough—if it’s too harsh he’ll off himself early, we won’t collect nearly enough pain, and the whole project ends prematurely. You know the handler gets disciplined if the protagonist suicides too soon, right? World restructuring costs a shit-ton of money.”
“Ah~~~~”
“Understood! Thank you, Section Chief! I’ll head back now.”
“Yeah~ Safe trip back~”
“Wow, I might actually get a bonus for this.”
Things had gone so well that Makina was already imagining the extra pay. She really did have a good boss. Her future career path looked perfectly smooth.
“Mmm… mmm……”
Completely unaware of the thorny road that would soon open before him, Siwu slept as peacefully as a child. Devils really were physically strong. Makina lifted him in a princess carry.
“Work hard at the grind~ Our little lucky charm~”
She repeated the exact same line Siwu used to say to his juniors when he was discharged. But because he had already fallen asleep, he never heard it.
And he never would.