Hello, I'm a Devil
A young man dressed in a crisp black suit stood before Siwu, looking like a handsome youth fresh out of a corporate training video. He kept repeating the same bizarre introduction, and Siwu—too stunned and drunk to know how to respond—could only stare in confusion. When the man began repeating himself yet again, clearly wondering if his words weren't getting through, Siwu finally managed to speak.
"I... I heard you."
"Thank you! My name is Makina, and I handle 'protagonist' scouting for Devil Entertainment Co., Ltd.!"
"......"
"As I was saying, I am Makina from Devil Entertainment Co., Ltd., and I handle 'protagonist' scouting—"
"I said I can hear you!"
The man who looked like a neat, handsome youth in a black suit was speaking to Siwu. Having suddenly approached and declared himself a "devil," the stranger left Siwu at a loss for how to react. When Siwu hesitated, the man simply repeated his introduction, as if worried it hadn't been heard.
"My apologies. I wondered if you might have some difficulty with your hearing..."
"Anyway... you said... you're a devil?"
"Yes! Sir, would you care to enter into a contract with me?"
"Wait, isn't that a line from that old survival game?"
"Please rest assured, I am not inviting you to any survival game. I have simply taken the liberty of approaching you in this manner because I sincerely wish for you to sign a contract with me."
"I must be really drunk..."
Siwu, convinced he was either hallucinating or far too intoxicated for the man's words to make sense, muttered, "Not interested..." He rose from the bench, treating the stranger like some pushy salesman, but then stopped.
......
He suddenly realized that no one was waiting for him at home. He had nothing in particular to do. With a sigh, he let his legs go slack and sank back onto the bench.
"Haa... You seem to have quite a bit of free time yourself."
"To be honest, this is my first scouting assignment. I am a brand-new employee—a fresh rookie devil who has only just completed new-hire training and been assigned to Seoul!"
"Ah... I see..."
Siwu decided it was easier to believe he was simply having a very strange dream. Only then did he take a proper look at the man. He was undeniably handsome, but he looked nothing like the devils Siwu had seen in movies and games. He was simply a good-looking man with a mix of Western and Korean features, wearing a black suit.
"What kind of devil doesn't even have horns or a tail?"
"I could produce the horns if you wish, but the tail would tear my suit. I hope you can understand that particular limitation!"
"Then how am I supposed to believe anything you say?"
"Hmm......"
Siwu seemed to be enjoying the exchange. He decided to test the man.
"In that case, I shall immediately cause a large-scale loss of life in Seoul!"
"Huh?"
The slightly chilling declaration left Siwu's mouth hanging open in a dumbfounded grunt. The devil took out his smartphone, tapped at it for a moment, then slipped it back into his inner suit pocket.
Immediately afterward—
"What the... what the fuck is this!!!"
The deafening sirens and the piercing alert tone used for national emergencies slammed into Siwu's ears. He frantically pulled out his phone and checked the message.
Siwu's mouth fell open even wider. The devil smiled gently.
"Please rest assured! The warheads are scheduled to detonate far from your location. They are conventional, not nuclear, so casualties should not exceed one thousand."
Siwu could hardly believe it. The moment the man had spoken of causing mass casualties, North Korea had launched missiles. Two possibilities flashed through his mind: either this was an astronomical coincidence, or the man really was a devil. The fact that the stranger knew his name—when Siwu had never given it—sent another chill down his spine. The alcohol in his system burned away in an instant.
"No, fuck... Stop this right now!"
Determined to prevent mass death, Siwu made another demand. He already believed the man was a devil.
"Does this mean you believe me?"
The devil smiled with theatrical innocence.
"No, fuck! I said stop it!"
Overwhelmed, Siwu dropped all politeness and shouted, curses flying.
"If you do not clearly state your answer, I cannot know. Do you believe that I am a devil?"
Goosebumps erupted across Siwu's entire body. The man—no, the devil—was still smiling exactly the same way, yet an indescribable terror now swallowed Siwu whole. He decided calming the situation was the only option.
"Yes, I believe you. So please do something about those missiles."
He forced himself to speak calmly, suppressing his shock.
"Understood."
The devil pulled out his phone again, tapped at the screen, and once more the alert tone blared.
Only after confirming that the missiles had indeed self-destructed did Siwu let out a shaky breath of relief. Like anyone else, the sudden release of extreme tension triggered a physical reaction.
"Uuuuuurp... bleeeeergh!!"
In Siwu's case, it was vomiting. Whether from the alcohol or from hyperventilating in panic, the moment the tension broke he began heaving up everything he'd consumed at the bar.
"Are you all right?"
The devil approached kindly and patted Siwu's back.
"Haa... haa..."
Breathing hard from the vomiting, Siwu sat back down on the bench.
"I apologize. Did that frighten you?"
"How could I not be frightened?!"
Siwu let out a half-laugh of disbelief.
"Allow me to apologize once more... Ah!"
The devil let out a small exclamation, as if a good idea had occurred to him, and gently closed his eyes.
Fuck... what's he about to do now...
Siwu felt a wave of anxiety. The next moment, he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"Huh??? What?!"
He let out a stupid sound without meaning to. The man's chest was swelling. His facial structure, body shape—everything—was transforming into that of a woman. After about thirty seconds, the man—no, the woman—opened her eyes, smiled softly, and spoke.
"I determined that conversing in the form of an attractive woman would be more comfortable for you, Mr. Siwu, so I have altered my appearance accordingly. How is it?"
"No, what the fuck... seriously... what is this?"
The sight of a person's sex changing before his eyes shocked Siwu far more than the missiles had. The devil before him now possessed an entirely feminine face, breasts, waist, and hips. Her suit was stretched so tightly across her enlarged chest that it looked ready to burst. As a man himself, Siwu couldn't help but blush and stare.
They're fucking huge...
Far beyond the average Korean woman's size, the massive bust left Siwu inwardly awestruck.
"......"
The devil, having caught his gaze perfectly, made a shamelessly bold suggestion.
"You may touch them if you like!"
She cupped her breasts from below with both hands and thrust them forward invitingly.
"N-no thank you!!!"
"Is that so?"
Any other man might have shouted "Thank you very much!" and happily buried his hands in them, but Siwu apparently wasn't that type.
Maybe I should've just touched them...
Apparently he was exactly that type.
"May I now explain the terms of the contract?"
"Y-yes... go ahead."
He tried to cool his flushed face, both afraid and strangely excited to hear what the devil would propose.
"From what I have observed, you and many other young Korean men seem to harbor considerable dissatisfaction with the current state of South Korean society. Is that correct?"
"Well... yeah, it is."
Siwu found himself nodding before he could stop himself.
"Setting aside the male-only conscription, the discriminatory treatment compared to women across all sectors of society, and the general disregard for male lives and dignity, the truth is that this world itself has been designed so that women choose men."
"......"
Siwu listened intently, engraving every word in his heart with fierce empathy.
"If I were to transform the world you currently live in into its complete opposite, what would you—"
"Obviously I'd say yes, thank you very much."
Siwu answered before the devil could even finish. He surprised even himself. Yet refusing the offer was impossible.
"This country is completely fucked."
He had far too many grievances piled up against this nation and its society.
"The military issue is one thing, but this country just treats young men like absolute fucking idiots. The government, the women—it's like if women don't get their share of benefits the whole country will collapse. Fuck, I mean..."
Without being prompted, Siwu poured out all the resentment he'd bottled up for years. His face turned beet red, his voice grew louder, and he was almost panting by the end. The devil listened with a faintly eerie smile that Siwu, in his excitement, failed to notice.
"Haa... fuck... anyway... I'll stop here."
Realizing he'd gone on too long, Siwu cut himself off.
"Then here..."
The devil handed Siwu a single A4 sheet printed with a contract template and a pen.
"The moment the pen touches the paper, the contract will be considered active. This process cannot be revoked. If you do not wish to proceed, please tell me now."
The words were strict and formal, like a police officer reading someone their Miranda rights.
"......"
Despite his passionate rant about Korean society moments earlier, the mention of no take-backs made Siwu hesitate. Everything the devil had shown him proved she was the real thing. He had no choice but to believe she was a genuine devil. Understanding that this was truly a contract that could change the world, Siwu grew tense again.
He spent a full minute in deep contemplation. The devil sat quietly beside him, waiting patiently without a word. Siwu's occasional stolen glances at her chest were an added bonus.
"Would you like to touch them after all? As a service, I could allow you to experience the real thing, not just—"
"No, just... stop..."
Siwu started to get angry but realized he really had been sneaking glances, so he trailed off.
Finally, he spoke.
"Can you change anything? Anything at all?"
"Yes, anything can be changed."
"......"
And at last he made his decision.
"Do I need a seal?"